


Dragonsick

by Hildr53



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Skyrim Romance Mod - Fandom
Genre: Action & Romance, Angst, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Journey, Multi, My First Smut, Romance, Sickness, Side Quests, Skyrim Main Quest, Slow Burn, Whump, fight for my love, no really i promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:01:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 34
Words: 184,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25205905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hildr53/pseuds/Hildr53
Summary: Hildr finds out that she is the dragonborn, only to learn that she has a bad reaction to the dragon souls themselves. Will she be strong enough to save all of Nirn when the time comes? What all will she learn about herself, and her companions along the way?Story follows the main quest line of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. Skyrim Romance Mod for Bishop and Casavir.
Relationships: Bishop (Elder Scrolls)/Original Female Character(s), Casavir/Female Dovahkiin | Dragonborn
Comments: 27
Kudos: 13





	1. Dovahkiin

She stopped and rested her hands on her head to catch her breath. The acrid smoke of burning grass and flesh was overpowering and burning her lungs. _What a fight. Thankfully that black dragon didn’t seem too interested in all out destruction in Helgen like this one was here, and had flown away in the end. I doubt that twice as many of us would have been able to take him down if we had tried._ Hildr looked out to where the dragon laid beyond the watchtower. Such a massive creature would have been majestic to watch if it had not just attempted to kill all of them. She scanned around the area to see who else was left standing still. Thankfully she saw her companion, Bishop, as well as his shaggy wolf Karnwyr, were not among the fallen. She was so happy that she could have kissed them, both of them, this very instant if she were close enough to them, but they were already at the fallen dragon and inspecting it. After taking another gulp of air, and with a relieved grin, she loped through the long grass over to their side.

“Hey Princess, kind of you to show up.” Bishop jeered, and flashed her a devilish smile. He wrapped an arm around her waist, with the other snaked around her shoulder, and pulled her lithe frame to his chest and kissed her neck. He usually got affectionate like this after killing something, and she knew that he was doing it intentionally to keep the guards from getting any ideas about her.

She gave him a weak smile, but something was different. She could see in his amber eyes that something was wrong as he looked over her shoulder at the dragon behind her. She could swear that she saw ribbons of light reflecting in his eyes, and she spun around with a hand on her sword hilt, ready for another attack. She was blinded by the multi-colored lights that were enveloping them both. She began to panic, not knowing what was happening to her or her comrades in arms as they gathered around. She could feel the light and a heavy weight barreling into her, and it made her knees weak. If not for Bishop’s strong arms around her, she would have fallen under the weight of everything happening. She could hear distant yelling. She thought she felt someone shaking her, but she wasn’t sure. Her vision blurred, and everything went dark.

“Princess? Princess!” Bishop panicked when he saw the lights envelop the two of them, but he was more afraid that this was just another attack, or magic of some sort from what was left of the dragon. It wasn’t until it registered that Hildr had slumped forward, heavy in his arms that he thought it would be something much much worse.

“Dragonborn!” one of the guards had shouted after the little display of light was over, but Bishop couldn’t believe it. _It was a legend! Dragons were legends too, but look what we just did here._ The guards had tried to say that the unconscious woman he held against him was this mythical hero, and that they should take her to the Jarl so that he knew of it as well. He was ready to insist on a healer instead, but a court wizard would do just as well in this case. The dark elf housecarl ran on ahead to let the Jarl know that they were on their way, and that there were wounded among them.

One of the guards tried to help Bishop carry Hildr’s limp form, but there was no way that he would intentionally let another man touch his woman. After removing her hand and a half sword and her ebony dagger so he wouldn’t lose them, he stubbornly pulled her up into a bridal hold, with her red-gold hair dangling over his shoulder. There was no way she would take kindly to waking up being held like a sack. The smell of her rose soap and sweat was intoxicating to him. If she were awake, he would have been happy to get lost in her, but he had to take care of her right now. On the way back to the city he could tell that all of the guards were on edge, and searching the skies as they went back to their city, but Bishop trudged on to the gate without looking for distractions. He knew that the tower was still standing back there, and if nothing else, Hildr would be safe inside the stone walls of the city. At least as safe as she could be.

“DOVAKIIN” the land around them seemed to sound like a drum. Bishop clutched Hildr closer and hurried through the city.

_With any luck the Jarl would know what to do._

Up at Dragonsreach, it seemed like their luck had almost run out. The Jarl was happy to receive all of the victors of the battle against the dragon, but he had so many questions, and would not let any of them depart until he was satisfied with their reports. So much for him knowing what was going on with these attacks. This Jarl probably won’t even know what to do about ladyship here. He absentmindedly stroked her upper arm as he held her. He could feel her long tresses falling out of her loose battle braids and beginning to knot around his calloused thumb. He stopped the soothing motion noticing that it was not helping his nerves at all. It seemed like it took forever, but the Jarl finally seemed satisfied with the answers that he had been given from the survivors. Bishop was turning to leave, thinking that it would have been better to wait this out at a tavern or her home in the city instead of climbing all of those steps up to Dragonsreach carrying her.

“You there, holding the woman. What has happened to her?” It appeared that the Jarl finally noticed him, after all of this time.

“She is the Dragonborn,” one of the guards replied as Bishop froze in his tracks.

“Is that true? Can she shout?”

“No idea. She passed out right after the dragon was taken down. She does not seem to be injured, and she was fine before…” Bishop hesitated, swallowing.

“Before the lights swallowed her up, and the dragon turned to just bone before us.” One of the guards finished for him.

 _Yeah, that_. It left a sour taste in his mouth, someone else having to describe what happened to her. He hadn’t even noticed the dragon turn to a heap of bones in his concern for Hildr.

“Very well,” the Jarl said thoughtfully, “she may be the Dragonborn of legend, but we will have to wait until she awakes to know for sure. Tell me, do you have a place to stay in the city?”

Bishop shook his head, he didn’t want to be confined in her home, and watched by the guards. He wanted to tell them that he would look after her outside the city walls, but he knew that they would not allow this potential savior to be whisked away from them so soon. He sighed deeply, knowing that he would be caught here, even if they were both safe within the stone walls. He seemed to feel smaller as he stood there in the great hall before the Jarl.

“I see. Proventus, prepare rooms for them, and make sure that Farengar sees to them both. I will not have anything happening to dragon slayers who do not have anywhere else to go.” With that the Jarl abruptly left the hall.

Bishop turned to the man that the Jarl had addressed, but before he could ask the man to lead on to their rooms, he was told to take a seat and wait for rooms to be prepared for them. He nodded and sat down with Hildr on his lap, and her head resting on his shoulder. The smell of her rose soap and sweat was overpowering, and if there were fewer people around, he would have kissed her. He was considering plaiting her hair in an attempt to pass the time. _She might even appreciate it when she awoke._ Before he even got the chance to run his fingers through her long hair, the court mage appeared and attempted to heal her. When his spells hit her, she threw back her head and screamed in agony. Her screams startled Bishop so much that he almost dropped her. _Well, at least we know not to try that again._ He looked down, expecting to see her still unconscious in his arms.

Her green eyes flashed, and she grabbed his arm around her waist so hard he thought she would draw blood. “Don’t … again,” was all she managed to pant out between gritted teeth before she again slumped against Bishop. He rubbed his cheek against her forehead and tightened his grip on her.

“Well? You heard her.” He turned a sharp look on the mage.

Farengar backed up a few steps and looked around for a quick exit, obviously not wanting to be so close to a ranger so protective of this woman any longer than was required of him. “Very well. For what it is worth, there does not seem to be anything wrong with her. Perhaps all she needs is some rest. Your rooms should be ready soon.” And with that, he turned on his heel and strode away.

 _I hope that is all it takes._ Bishop brushed some of her unruly hair behind her ear. Had he believed in any of the Divines, he would have sat there and prayed to all of them to return her to him.

Two days passed with no change in her condition. Bishop had taken to pacing around her room when he was not rubbing her hand, or plaiting flowers into her hair while sitting on the side of her bed. He couldn’t bear to sleep apart from her, and eventually the Jarl’s household had agreed to move another bed into her room for him after they found him sleeping in her bed, curled up against her. He had almost given up hope of ever talking to her again, when on the third day, her sparkling green eyes finally opened.

“Bishop?” she murmured. “Where…?” But that was all that she was able to get out before he had her in a tight embrace, pinning her down to her bed. To say she was startled would be an understatement. Her ranger had never treated her, or anyone else that she knew of, like this.

 _Whoa there, Ranger. If you keep acting like that, I would begin to think you cared about me._ She wanted to make a joke in her weakened state. It was obvious that it had been awhile that she had been out, and she guessed that he had not left her side at all if he could help it. Reluctantly, he loosened his hold on her, and she managed to sit up on the bed. “What happened to me? Last I remember…” Her head spun with questions, and she held her head as she tried to make sense of it. Last she remembered she was watching a play of lights coming from the dragon in front of her, and feeling an invisible wave crash into her.

“If I may, my Thane…” Hildr was aware of a third presence in the room, a woman, who appeared to be talking to her from a chair over in the corner.

“Long story short,” Bishop interrupted, “You may be the Dragonborn, if so, you absorbed the dragon’s soul, and it caused you to pass out or something, and you have been out for 3 days.” He handed her a cup of spiced wine, figuring that she was probably thirsty after how long she had slept. She took it gratefully, and began to sip it as he went on, watching him over the rim. “We need to go see the reclusive old farts known as the Greybeards who live at the top of the Throat of the World. And, for saving the city, the Jarl named you a Thane, and gave you a housecarl, Lydia.” He motioned to the woman in the chair for the last bit. “Oh, and she doesn’t seem to like me too much,” he half whispered, making sure that he was still loud enough for Lydia to hear him. He grinned and winked at Hildr as Lydia let out an exasperated sigh from where she still sat.

~~~~~

Hildr was elated when finally given the approval to continue on their journey. _Finally, I am free from the confinement of this hold_. She had spoken to the Jarl the same day that she had awoken and he confirmed what Bishop had told her. They believed that she was this Dragonborn, a human born with the blood of the dragon within them, and the savior of all of Nirn apparently. It was a lot for her to take in all at once, and she stoically stood there and tried to absorb it all. She almost felt like she was caving under the weight of all of this information. She could feel it settle on her shoulders as if it were a physical thing. They were given directions, as well as time to make the necessary arrangements for their trip to meet the Greybeards at High Hrothgar.

She knew that she was weak, but thought surely she would have the strength to travel to Ivarsted without much of a problem. Long distance travel afoot had never been an issue before. They kept a slow and steady pace, Bishop refused to let them go too fast. Hildr refused to ask, but she was certain it had something to do with how worried he was when she first awoke in the keep.

It was an easy, if slow, trip to Ivarsted, given Bishop’s reluctant pace. When they finally made it to the village, Bishop refused to sleep outside for another night. When she tried to resist, he threatened to carry her in and give her a bath if she wouldn’t come willingly. The idea of him manhandling her in such a way was what finally changed her mind, even if it did sound rather fun. He managed to talk her into sharing a room with him, even if she was a bit reluctant to do so. It would be nice to have someone there with her, and he didn’t want her any farther away from him than she had to be. Bishop dropped his stuff in the room, and then went to get meals for the both of them. Once she was in the room, and with the door closed tightly behind her, she slunk to the cold stone floor, leaning up against the wall for support. She finally let the tears overwhelm her.

A short while later she was roused by a knock at her door. It could only be Bishop.

“Princess?” he asked, slowly opening the door, a tray of food carefully balanced. His eyes fell on her, and he did his best to make sure that none of the other patrons of the inn could see her in such a state. He placed the tray on the dresser before crossing back to her and crouched in front of her.

“Princess? What is it?” He reached out to her and tilted her face to him with two fingers under her chin. She looked at him with puffy red rimmed eyes, and he wondered how long she could have been like this.

 _How could I tell him that it was the weight of realizing who and what I am settling on my shoulders._ Now she was closer than ever to finding out her destiny, as well as what was happening to her. She was so close to knowing, and she had never felt more alone.

“Stay?” she squeaked. She cleared her throat and asked again, trying to make it sound like she was not begging for his company. “Stay with me for a bit? Please.”

He shifted to sit next to her, and wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders. “Of course, ladyship. Are you sure you want to stay here on the floor? I am sure the bed would be much more comfortable for the both of us.”

She blushed a deep red when she realized what he was implying. That wasn’t what she meant, and he knew it. He stood up, chuckling, and helped her up to her feet. She was relieved that he didn’t try to push his luck, at least not yet. _Well, he will be sharing a bed with me tonight._ He brought the tray over to the table in her room and sat with her while she ate.

Bishop sat back and drank his ale while she ate. He wondered how much, if anything she had heard or remembered from while they were in Whiterun. _Had she heard me beg for her to come back to me? Had she heard me cry out in my_ _spot sleeping on the floor next to her bed when I couldn’t bear the thought of losing her, or being that far from her until I knew she would be okay? Surely not_. She was unconscious as far as anyone could tell, and it seemed unlikely that she would have heard, much less remembered any of that. Besides, why was he worried about what she thought? _She wasn’t my type anyway._

_Liar._

He cleared his throat, wanting to ask her something, anything that would help him clear his mind, but the moment that her mesmerizing green eyes fell on him, his mind went blank. He could feel his heart beat like a war drum in his chest, and looked away before she could see even a slight blush on his cheeks. No other wench had ever made him feel like this before, and he wasn’t used to it. For once he felt like the prey instead of the predator he usually was.

“Bishop? Did you want to ask me something? You look like you have a lot on your mind.”

His mind raced but a weak “How are you feeling, Princess?” was all he could manage, wanting to break the palpable tension in her small room. _Do you know how worried I was about you? How crazy it made me waiting at your bedside for you to wake up, just so I could see your eyes, and hear your voice again?_ He wanted to hold her and let her know just how worried he was about her, even if it meant he didn’t get any sleep.

She tried answering him several times, but she could tell that he wasn’t listening to her, he was too lost in his own thoughts. It must be serious when he didn’t add his usual “not that I care” follow up comment. She crossed over towards him, and cupped his cheek in her hand. For the first time that she could ever remember, he closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. _The past few days must have been weighing on him pretty heavily if he is finally starting to let his guard down like this._ She rubbed his cheekbone a few times before he snapped out of it, pulling her hand away from him gently.

“We need to get a good night’s rest, Princess. You will need all of your strength to get up the mountain tomorrow.” He stood, and crossed towards the door. “I will give you a minute to change, and be right back.”

He felt a gentle tug on his bicep, stopping him in his tracks. _This bloody woman would be the death of me, I just know it._

“You don’t have to, Bishop.” She cleared her throat. “I thought you were already threatening to give me a bath earlier. Don’t tell me you changed your mind already.”

She had a devilish grin on her face as he came back to her. He looked at her eagerly, almost as if he couldn’t believe his good luck.

“Anything for you, ladyship.” He wrapped his arms around her, and gently started to tease her shirt out of her trousers. The rose scent of her soft creamy skin was intoxicating, and spurred him on. He made short work of her armor, as well as his. He stopped short before removing her shirt and trousers, even though he was already in just his trousers. _Would she want me?_ He let go of her and stepped back. _If she wants me, she would have to start it._ _I won’t force myself on her_.

Hildr stepped back into him slowly, not wanting to startle him. She wasn’t sure what he was playing at if he was acting this way. He would go from hot to cold in an instant without any warning at all. She slowly wrapped her arms around his shoulders and looked up into his amber eyes. She did want him, but this was too soon and everything was happening too fast for her. _He still doesn’t know who I was before he met me._

“Bishop… not yet. With everything...” She leaned heavily into him, and ran her hands down his strong arms. “I don’t want you to feel like I am just using you.”

He had to keep himself well in hand to stop from taking her right then like he wanted.

“Let’s get you to bed then, sweetness. C’mon.” He sighed heavily and picked her up and carried her to bed. He took the spot closer to the wall, so she wouldn’t feel trapped against him, but she would be free to take advantage of him if she would want. He wrapped the furs around the both of them, and smiled when she snuggled against him. He had grown used to not having to sleep alone anymore.

“And you can use me all you want, darling. I won’t complain.” His voice was husky with desire, but he contented himself with a chaste kiss on her forehead. That sweet kiss would have to work until she wanted more from him.

~~~~~

The next morning, she was grateful that she had slept so well curled against her companion. She had heard tell that the path to High Hrothgar was called the 7000 steps, but never believed that it could be true. She had tried to count all of the steps that she climbed, but lost count around 3000 and never cared to begin counting again. It was a hard and treacherous climb as they got further up the mountain. The air became thinner, and some of the steps had an icy coating on them. She guessed that the majority of the pilgrims never made it up to the snowline.

She was lost in her thoughts about what the future would hold for her, and what all of her new responsibilities meant when she was hit on her neck and shoulder with something cold. _Good thing that Nords can withstand more of the cold than other peoples._ She looked around to see what had happened to her, only to spy a grinning Bishop getting ready to lob another snowball directly at her face. It is good to see him relaxed again after he had been so tense on the journey here. She charged at him with her own snowball in an attempt to get even. She was the better shot of the two of them, even if he wouldn’t admit it. After a few rounds, she eventually got him full in the face.

As they neared the top of the mountain, she tackled him into a snowbank. She was so grateful to have someone, anyone, that she could be this playful with when she was so lost herself. The past few days may have changed so much for her, but she was truly blessed to have someone whom she could let her guard down around. She leaned her head against his chest and he stroked her long red hair. He was happy that she was still this comfortable around him, and hoped that nothing would change for them. He loved the feeling of her warm body against him, and loved to see the playful side of her that he was worried had already left, or would be leaving soon enough.

After a few minutes of cuddling in the snow, he kissed the top of her head, and reluctantly insisted that they move on. The cold may not take that much of a toll on them as Nords, but the snow would, and they still had the Greybeards to meet.

A few minutes later they had reached the fortress, and were pushing through the great doors. It seemed empty at first, but as their eyes adjusted to the darkness, they noticed several older men with beards approaching them, well, her actually.

“So… A dragonborn appears, at this moment in the turning of an age.” One of the men said to her, stepping forward from the others.

“I am answering your summons.” _If it is really me that you are looking for._ Hildr returned the slight bow that the man had given her.

“We will see if you truly have the gift.” The bearded man turned and walked a few paces. _It would have been great if you could have given me some kind of test before making me climb all of these steps just to see if I may or may not have this gift._

“Show us. Dragonborn. Let us taste of your Voice.” Hildr shot a look over her shoulder at Bishop as she followed the old man. “Do not be afraid. Your Shout will not harm us.”

She was scared. She could not and would not deny it. She had never tried to shout before. She didn’t even know if she could. _Blessed Stendarr, give me strength. Don’t let everything catch up with me just yet_. She took a deep breath to steady herself. She planted her feet, and…

FUS!

She shouted directly at the man who had just welcomed her here.

“Dragonborn. It is you. Welcome to High Hrothgar.” For a wonder he sounded please, and not upset for being pushed back several feet towards a wall. “I am Master Arngeir. I speak for the Greybeards. Now tell me, Dragonborn, why have you come here?”

“I wanted to see if I was really the Dragonborn. I wanted to see what it meant that it was me.” She sounded timid and afraid. Not without reason if she was being honest.

“We are here to guide you in that pursuit, just as the Greybeards have sought to guide those of the Dragon Blood that came before you.” Arngeir took on a lecturing tone, speaking evenly as if this was a normal conversation that they always had.

“So you mean that I’m not the only Dragonborn?” She could feel a wave of relief roll over her. It took some measure of the weight off of her shoulders to know that she was not the only like herself. Maybe there was another who would be able to help her as well. _Ulfric had been able to shout. He had known about the dragons too. He was there when we were attacked. He…_ No, she had to focus.

“You are not the first. There have been many of the Dragon Blood since Akatosh first bestowed that gift upon mortal kind. Whether you are the only Dragonborn of this age… that is not ours to know. You are the only one that has been revealed thus far. That is all I can say.” _So Ulfric was not also a Dragonborn then._

“I am ready to learn, Master Arngeir.” She bowed slightly to him. _It wouldn’t hurt to be overly formal would it?_ She could almost hear Bishop laughing at her overly formal tone, and figured that he would mock her for some time for acting like this. _If this is what it takes to learn. I have no other mentors available. I will not go to Ulfric for this…_

“You have shown that you are Dragonborn. You have the inborn gift.” Their voices trailed off, and soon all that Bishop could hear in the hall were Hildr’s shouts as she was instructed by the Greybeards. He watched all of the exchanges from a bench in the shadows by the door.

He made note of the fact that when the lights flowed from a Greybeard to her she didn’t collapse as she would after a dragon. He had been ready to run to her and grab her in case she did drop to the floor. _Maybe it would have been better if she did have that reaction._

Once they came back in from freezing out in the outer courtyard, he pulled the leader, and only man that he had seen talking, aside. “I need to talk to you, urgently, about her. She had a reaction after killing the last dragon. She didn’t have the same reaction when you did the … thing to her with the new words.” He paused “She collapsed in my arms, and was out for 3 days. When a mage tried to heal her, she screamed.”

Aringer looked puzzled by the information that Bishop had just given him, but he nodded. In a measured tone he finally said, “We will have to research this. In the meantime, return the horn. If you defeat another dragon, do not attempt to heal her.” With that he silently slunk away into the dark stone hall.

Hildr bounded back to him much the same way that Karnwyr usually did when he was playing games with the ranger. She told him what all they needed to do as they walked back down the mountain, and they made their plans.


	2. Solitude

Casavir was no stranger to the darkness of pre-dawn Solitude. In truth he enjoyed it more than he did most of the rest of the day in the city. It was quiet, there were no drunks roaming the streets. He usually could be alone with his thoughts at this time of the morning. This morning however was different. 

He had come to Castle Dour, the Imperial garrison in the city, and climbed upon the ramparts for a change of scenery, and to watch the sun rise, but he was stopped when he saw a lone figure in the courtyard below. Whomever it was did not seem like they wished to be disturbed, and did not seem to notice him walking around and looking down at them. He was happy that they were oblivious to his presence, since he enjoyed watching this warrior train. They slipped slowly from form to form like they were in a swordfight, but there was no sound of clashing steel or a second pair of footsteps countering what looked like a dance. He watched this warrior train for some time, until the sun fully rose.

Casavir cautiously made his way around the ramparts and back down to the courtyard below. He had never had to sneak up on someone before, but he felt that casually strolling up to this person would not be appropriate. Once he was back down in the courtyard, he realized that he was watching a woman train. It was not unheard of for women to be mighty warriors, but he had never been so captivated watching anyone train before. 

She was not just any woman though, she looked so out of place to be fighting with long flowing red-bronze hair held back in loose braids and a golden circlet. Her creamy fair skin seemed to shine in the dawn light. She was practicing in just tight trousers and a loose white shirt, apparently to work on flexibility, even if the morning was cool enough to warrant a jacket of some sort. Her leather boots did not make noise as she crossed the stones of the courtyard. She was decidedly a nord, her height and hair enough to show that to anyone. He was finally close enough to talk to the woman and decided to clear his throat to get her attention. She was on him in just a few short strides, and a flash of light bloomed in his mind before he felt himself hit the cobbled courtyard with a clatter in his heavy armor, with tears in his eyes.

Her voice came from close to where he was on his hands and knees. She hadn’t stepped away after hitting him. “Who are you, and what do you want?” She had hit him in the nose, and from the feel of it, his nose was broken. He quickly re-set his nose and healed it before he answered her. He leaned back on his heels, hands firmly on his thighs before speaking to her, worried that trying to stand or raise his hands would cause her to strike him again.

He addressed the ground at her feet, before lifting his gaze to her. “My name is Casavir, my lady. I am a Knight of the Nine, a Paladin, and a stranger in these lands. I am sorry if I surprised you this morning. It was not my intention. I was just so captivated watching you train in the morning light.” He hoped that explanation, as well as his slow movements would be enough to get her to relax. He did not really want to heal a second broken nose this morning. It was much too early for that.

“I noticed,” she responded with a smile, retreating out of striking distance. “You did what, three laps up there around the courtyard this morning?” She pointed over her shoulder, and watched him blush a deep crimson from the neckline of his breastplate to his rich black hair. It was a beautiful color on his tawny brown skin. Apparently, he was not aware just how tall he was, or that his shadow had been cast on the walls and courtyard while she trained. She held out a hand to help him back to his feet. 

“My name is Hildr. I am passing through Solitude with my companion. What brings a Paladin to Skyrim?” With her question she was crossing back through the courtyard and gathering her sword, bow, and coat. Thankfully he was walking with her, and stood just out of reach. _He is a quick learner, good._ It was good to have someone to talk to this morning after training. She had a feeling that Bishop would still be asleep when she got back to the Winking Skeever. They had arrived only a few hours before dawn, and she had slipped out when she couldn’t sleep.

“I came to offer my sword to the Dragonborn, should she desire my assistance.” _And if she ever shows up._ He had spent so many days now waiting at the gates and in the inn without meeting the dragonborn yet, and he was starting to lose hope.

“Really?” _Play it cool girl, he may not even know that much yet. He certainly doesn’t seem to know that he is talking to this mythical hero._ She shrugged back into her coat, trying to act casual. “The Dragonborn isn’t just a story? I thought all of that was just something made up by bards to get a few more coins each night.” _Good, maybe that has thrown him off my scent until I can figure out what his intentions are_. She pulled her hair free from her jacket letting the last of the braids shake out. 

“My Order has it on good authority that it is true, and I have yet to have reason to doubt them on something like this. I had hoped that I would meet her before the Grand Crystal Ball tonight, but it does not look to be so.” He turned to the mighty and beautiful warrior gliding along beside him back to the inn. “Would you be interested in attending with me, my lady? I know that it is rather forward to ask, since we have only just met, but I would be honored to attend such an event with a woman like you.” He opened the door for her, and followed her into the inn. _Any woman that could surprise me and knock me into the dirt is a mighty warrior indeed, possibly second only to the Dragonborn. And there is no reason to think that the Dragonborn would be even half as beautiful as Hildr._

“Would you care to break your fast with me this morning, Sir Casavir?” She asked, only half jesting and attempted to mirror his overly formal tone. It was almost fun teasing him, but she hoped that he would not take her tone for mocking. “I would be most grateful for the company, as I am sure my companion is still abed.”

“It is just Casavir, my lady, and I would be honored to join you.” He felt a rosy blush rising in his cheeks.

“Good. The table up there, perhaps?” She motioned to the landing above the rest of the common room. “So that we may talk undisturbed, of course.” She quickly moved to climb the stairs to the room she shared with Bishop. She deposited her weapons in her room by the door and nervously braided her long hair into one section before going back to the landing to eat. She would of course accept Casavir’s offer to go to the ball, but how would she tell him that she and the Dragonborn he looked for were one and the same?

Thankfully, Bishop was still in bed and fast asleep so she did not have to worry about him ruining her fun. She could only imagine how possessive the Ranger would be of her, especially now, with another man talking to her. 

She was delighted to see Casavir there already when she left her room, waiting for her with a tray of bread and cheese as well as mugs of tea for both of them. _What a gentleman. Bishop will have to up his game if he wants to compete with Casavir_. _If Casavir is even interested that is_. She added that last part hastily to herself, realizing she hadn’t even accepted his invitation to the ball yet. _Well, no time like the present._

She walked up behind him, since he sat with his back to the door to her room, and gently ran 2 fingers between the gap at his shoulder in the plates of armor that he wore.

“Yes.” She whispered, close to his ear, before sitting splayed out in the chair across from him.

He had stiffened in his seat as he felt her warm breath on his neck, as well as a gentle touch when and where he had least expected it. This woman appeared to be able to disarm him in more ways than one. _This ball will be torturous if she plans on keeping this up_ … _she had just accepted after all, right?_

“But, are you sure that the Dragonborn won’t be insanely jealous if she should show up instead? Won’t she want what was supposed to be for her?” She had a coy smile on her lips, like she was playing a game he did not know the rules to, and she was taking advantage of him being naïve. She straightened up in her chair, crossed her arms on the table, and leaned towards him, showing a fair amount of cleavage. 

He tried to sound reassuring, but he didn’t think the blush on his cheeks was helping his position any. “I will stand by my choice, my lady.” He nodded as if to make it a more formal declaration to her. 

“Don’t worry though, I am not that jealous.” She winked at him and a broad seductive smile bloomed on her face as she slowly leaned further across the table to him, making her cleavage even more obvious. Casavir could feel himself growing warmer and his heart hammering in his chest. He could not decide if this was a dream or a nightmare. “He, however, can tend to be jealous.” She motioned over Casavir’s shoulder and leaned back in her chair, sipping her tea. When Casavir looked, his heart dropped.

This was decidedly a nightmare. Out of the room over his shoulder, the same one that she had come from, emerged a man that Casavir prayed he would never have to see again. Bishop, who had clearly just awoken, based on how sleep seemed to glaze his amber eyes. Casavir was not fooled by the measured walk that brought Bishop to Hildr’s side, or the fact that the ranger seemed to ignore him while reaching for his lady’s shoulders.

“Good morning, Princess. Sleep well?” Bishop questioned her gently, while beginning to rub her neck and shoulders for her, as well as kissing her ear. “I dreamt of you all night.” Casavir couldn’t prove it, but he was certain that the ranger was smiling at how disgusted he looked at this intimate display. “But it seems you have a friend, ladyship.” Bishop straightened in mock surprise, and they locked eyes. “Casavir, what an unwelcome surprise.” Bishop’s hands tightened on Hildr’s shoulders in some small display of dominance. “I see you’ve met my companion, so what do you want?” Bishop leaned forward, resting his elbows on Hildr’s shoulders, and clasping his hands in front of the middle of her chest.

“I just accepted Casavir’s invitation to the Grand Crystal Ball tonight,” she said sweetly to the man perched on her shoulders, running her hand over his forearm, “I figured you wouldn’t mind a night to stay in and drink, Bishop.”

Casavir shot him a triumphant grin and watched the ranger’s face drop before he had a moment to recover. 

Bishop seemed to take this development in stride however. “Of course, princess.” Bishop cooed sweetly into her ear before kissing it again. Casavir was worried what the ranger could be up to for him to be so accommodating of his lady.

“My lady, I will leave you to get ready for this evening. Bishop, if I may have a word with you.” Casavir rose slowly from the table and walked over to the stairs, waiting for Bishop to follow him. With a sigh and a quick kiss of Hildr’s head, Bishop followed. Hildr waited until they were down the stairs before following them. They sounded like they were standing at the bottom of the stairs, at the back of the hallway in the inn. 

“You must be really getting knotted up if you’re taking the time to speak with me.” Hildr could almost feel the sarcasm in Bishop’s tone. 

“It has nothing to do with her.” Casavir’s calm composed demeanor from this morning was already gone. _What kind of history did they have to create such a change in the stoic Paladin?_

“Well in that case you can cut the bullshit, because otherwise you and I have nothing to discuss.” Bishop was beginning to get angry that his morning had already been ruined. She could hear it in his voice already.

“I am watching you, Bishop. I do not trust you, and she should not either.”

“Really? That’s the best you can do? You must be the hundredth lust-filled, lick her boots manic that’s quoted that phrase to me. Funny though, literally the same thing that I told her about you: that you’re not to be trusted.”

“What do you mean?”

“I told her that you’re not half the saint that you pretend to be. You’re the worst kind of liar, Casavir. You want so badly for people to accept the image you present that you convince your own self it’s the truth. Tell me, when you look in a mirror, what do you see? I bet you’ve even brainwashed your reflection.”

“Hold your tongue, Bishop!” _So Casavir did have a temper, he just needed to be prodded to get to it_.

“No, no you are in way deeper than that. There is not an ounce of honesty in those eyes. She’s too good for you, and she’s gonna see right through that mask you put on. You may begin the night as this ‘saint’ Paladin. But the man in you will want that wench in his bed, just as any red-blooded man would.” Hildr knew that Bishop was including himself in the group of men that would want her in his bed. She was flattered, really, that he wanted her, but she wasn’t about to manipulate him into her bed. She had left that life behind her.

“Do not speak of her that way!” Hildr thought she could have heard Casavir’s response even if she wasn’t eavesdropping on them. _He did not deny it. Interesting._

“Don’t try and play martyr with me. She’s more than capable of defending her own honor. She doesn’t need you or anyone else to jump in front of her enemies’ arrows. Your lust blinds you to that fact, and to the fact that she’s too much woman for you to handle. No, she wants a man who’s not afraid of making the hard decisions. And who will do what must be done. She wants a man who’s a sight more honest than anyone who wears a temple’s cloak on their shoulder, who carries himself like some kind of standard for others to look up to. The day is waning. I suggest you begin preparing yourself for the hardest struggle of your life. The hot, flesh-and-blood woman you’ll have on your arm tonight. Now, be a good boy and get lost.” _So I am a struggle am I, Bishop? Should I show you how much of a struggle I can be to you?_

She heard Casavir walk a few paces before closing a door and realized that he must have the room directly under theirs. She scampered back to the table before Bishop rejoined her, and he slumped into the seat opposite her.

“Any chance you are going to fill me in on that little display back there?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“No.” The single word, flatly stated was all that he gave her. 

The silence drew on for a few minutes while she watched Bishop.

“Fine… Will you help me get ready at least? I had thought to have my hair plaited, and I prefer it when you do it.” She gave him a wink, he knew that she meant she enjoyed sitting on the floor between his knees while he played with her hair. “And I think I can trust you to help me get dressed.” The playful grin and display of cleavage had more of an impact on Bishop than it had on Casavir this morning. 

She was happy to see that wolfish grin come across his face again, and she knew he was getting what she was hinting at. “If you insist, Princess, it would be my honor.” He squeezed her shoulder as he left for the morning.

Once she had finished her breakfast, she changed into a clean shirt and trousers to go talk with Casavir. She stood outside of what she believed would be his door, and prepared to knock when she noticed that he was instead sitting at a table in the common room, where he could have most likely seen her speaking with Bishop, as well as her eating, had he looked up. She took a deep breath, and sauntered over to him.

Casavir’s breath caught when he saw Hildr come down the stairs, and stop in front of the door to his room. _So, she did hear us then. I am sure she will have more questions than I have answers to give her_. He shifted slightly at the thought of her confronting him about his past with Bishop. She must have seen him, since she made her way directly over to him. If he did not know better, he would have sworn that she changed her walk to appear more enticing.

He rose as she approached, and opened the door for her. She insisted on some other shopping before going to The Jewel for her gown, and he happily obliged, knowing that it would mean more time in her presence. Even the most mundane things were different with her. He felt as if she was a balm on his very soul, and every minute with her was not wasted, even when he just stood behind her as a guardian. 

Throughout the day, he felt his mind wander to what the ball would be like this evening, and if it would be a problem if the Dragonborn showed up. _Could she really be that jealous? Well, she did possess the blood of a dragon, so who could say for sure. No, I will stand by my decision to take this beautiful and fierce warrior with me over anyone else_.

He felt the thought returning to him again and again as he sat and waited for her at the Jewel, wondering what dress she would pick. Wondering about the Dragonborn was a safer course than wondering what it would be like to see Hildr in a gown. He had seen the way that she moved during her morning practice, and was sure that she would be an excellent dancer. He had been accounted a good dancer when he was younger, but he was not sure that he would be able to focus with her so close to him tonight. His vows would prevent him from enjoying too many of the festivities, but he would do what he could to make sure that Hildr enjoyed herself. _No matter what. It would only be right of me to make sure that she enjoys herself, no matter the cost to me._ He was looking down at his hands when he had made this decision, and when he looked up, he knew that he may just live to regret his Paladin’s vows after deciding to put her first tonight.

In front of him, almost close enough for him to touch was a vision. She wore an emerald green gown that seemed to be made specifically for her. She held the front of her dress up to show golden sandals that seemed to bring out the pattern of golden scrolls embroidered throughout the skirt and tight-laced top as she approached him where he sat. The creamy white skin of her shoulders showed above the top of her gown, as did a decent amount of her chest. When she finally came to a stop in front of him, she dropped the section of skirt that she held and did a small twirl with her hair over her shoulder so that he could see all of her. Her sparkling green eyes matched her gown, and her skin glowed like marble. Her red hair fell in a sheet to her waist. He wished that he would be able to brush her hair back over her shoulder instead of letting her play with it like she did now. _It would be so easy to kiss her with his hand on her neck, pulling her against him, and after that…_

“Casavir?” She looked at him expectantly, snapping him back to reality.

“I am sorry, my lady, I was not paying attention. Could you please repeat that?” He could feel a blush rise in his cheeks, due to his appraisal of her. _I had other things on my mind, things that I should not have_.

A woman behind his lady giggled lightly. “What did I say m’lady? I said that your man would be speechless when he saw you in this beautiful gown.” 

_Her man_?

“Do you like it, Casavir? Or should I pick another?” She was still twisting the ends of her hair nervously between her fingers. 

“No, this one is perfect, my lady. I will go pay for everything, and meet you this evening, if that is fine with you, of course.” He was relieved that he did not stammer through that conversation. It had been so long since he felt his heart hammer in his chest like it did when he was near her. _This evening would be tortuous indeed_. 

She curtsied deeply for him, and gave him a wink and smile as she brushed at least some of her hair back over her shoulder before turning and swaying away with the attendant right beside her. He got to his feet to pay for her purchases and realized just how close she had come to him. He could smell her rose soap as she threw her hair back off her shoulder and took swaying steps away from him. _Well, Bishop was right that tonight would be the hardest struggle of my life_. 

As he was paying for the dress, he noticed an emerald and gold necklace. “Excuse me.” He pointed to the necklace. “Could you make sure that the lady Hildr gets that as well before she leaves?” It would be the perfect necklace to compliment her dress, and he had not seen her wear any other jewelry. _I hope that she likes it._

~~~~~

A few hours later found her fresh from a bath and sitting on the floor at Bishop’s feet while he plaited her hair into intricate braids for her. While he had been out, he had bought her a small bag of small golden bands and disks to be woven in as well. The braids that were already done clinked softly as she moved them over her shoulder to play with the loose ends. She leaned into Bishop’s leg and rested her cheek on his knee, and wrapped her arm around his calf.

“How would you feel about Casavir joining us?” She felt Bishop’s fingers stop mid-braid, and he tugged her hair only hard enough to force her head to turn back to look up at him. 

“Then I would leave. Simple as that.” Hildr looked up at him with disbelief. _He would leave, after everything, just like that?_ She could hardly believe it. She returned her cheek to his knee, and he continued with his braiding. She was glad that she had waited until he was almost done. 

She felt ashamed that she had asked, especially given his response, but certainly Casavir would be an asset to the both of them. _How to make him see that Casavir was worth keeping around?_

“Couldn’t you try to get along with him first? Or would you abandon me so easily, Bishop?” She hoped that she sounded genuinely hurt to him. _This won’t work if he doesn’t think that I am genuinely upset and broken by the idea of him not being there with me_.

“No, I don’t think I could ever get along with that puffed up Paladin. Is there a problem with that?” 

“I thought you were going to stay with me no matter what.” It wasn’t wise to antagonize a man, or anyone really, who had a handful of your hair, but Hildr was too determined to worry about that right now. 

“If you would rather have him follow you around like a lost puppy, Princess, say the word. I would never travel with that damn Paladin. So what will it be, do you want him or me?”

“I want you Bishop.” She felt him slowly start to braid again, and another ornament slipped into the braid. 

“Oh you want me, do you?” She could hear that he was smiling, and he bent down to kiss the top of her head, where the braid in his hands started. 

She rubbed his calf near his ankle. “Yes I want you Bishop.”

“Well, when you put it that way, how can I say no to you, ladyship?” He made sure to brush her back with his fingers as if on accident as he finished the braid he had been working on, and started the next. 

“I’m sorry, forget I asked.” She finally managed to mumble the apology out to him. She would just have to beg forgiveness instead of asking permission when it came to Casavir. 

When he finished braiding her hair, he pulled her up to her feet to admire his work. He twirled her around before pulling her against him, and down into the bed behind him. She figured that he did that intentionally, and that it worked out exactly as he had planned. Before she knew it, he had her pinned completely underneath him and held her hands above her head, and one knee between her legs. “You’re trembling, Princess. Are you that scared of a big bad wolf?” she could feel his breath on her neck and jaw. His hand ran down to her waist and gave it a squeeze. “Remember, you are mine, Princess. Do you need me to remind you tonight?”

“I need to get into my dress. Will you help me lace it?”

“I would be happy to take your clothes off for you as well, if you would want me to.” He tugged gently at her trousers first, then pulled her shirt free.

“Duly noted, but I think I will only need help with the lacings on the dress.” She kissed his cheek and pushed him off her. “Karnwyr can stay if he wants, though.”

She shut the door and finished getting ready for the evening. She hoped that Casavir would enjoy seeing her all dressed up, since she was enjoying all of the pampering and the attention that Bishop had already been giving her today. Turning her head, she wished that it was practical to keep her hair in these braids, but there was no way that she would be able to sneak up with all of these decorations tinkling. The gold and emerald locket she wore, however, the one that Casavir had bought her, she would endeavor to keep on forever.

She got her dress on and was at least decent before she opened the door to readmit Bishop. He tightened her corset as much as she could handle and tied it off. For a wonder, this dress gave her a more feminine look, very unlike her usual boyish shape. 

“Before you go, Princess, these are for you.” Bishop produced several more golden items of jewelry from a bag where he had hidden in their room. One was a golden collar with an emerald set in the center, another a golden arm band, and finally a thick gold bangle, all of which he lovingly helped put on her. If he was irritated that she already had a necklace on, he did not show it.

“If you would want it, you can have this as well,” he pressed a ring in her hand. She looked down to see the wolf ring that Bishop always wore. “It’s something that is not much use to me, but I know women love trinkets like this. I want you to have it.” She put her forehead against his, and slid it on to the middle finger of her left hand, noting how well it fit. He secured her hair with a ribbon that matched her dress, instead of her usual golden circlet, and admired his work. _She is radiant_. Her braided hair filled with gold trinkets seemed to catch the candle light as well as the evening sunlight coming in the window. The green of her gown made her eyes shine more than any natural emerald could. _She is everything I could want and more. She is mine. She will be mine._

“Do you think Casavir will like my dress?” She asked with a girlish twirl.

“He’ll like it, and hate it, because looking at you will make his blood boil, and that’s not something he’s comfortable with.” It surely made his blood boil looking at her.

She stepped close enough to him to feel her breath. “And you? Do you like my dress, Bishop?” He felt her rough hands run up his chest. _If she knew the scars that she was running her hands over, would she still want me?_

“Would you want me to tell you or show you, Ladyship?” He hoped that she could tell that he was straining at some invisible leash that usually kept him in check. He decided that showing her was a better idea, since he quickly had her pressed up against the wall, and had a tight hold on her hips. His mouth moved hungrily from her lips, to her neck, and down to her collarbone. “Was that a sufficient answer for you, Princess, or should I continue?” 

She could feel his smile against her skin, and she hoped he didn’t notice that she was panting and her heart was racing.

“Come, your valiant Paladin is waiting for you.” _And I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he sees you, Princess. You look more beautiful than Dibella herself_.

~~~~~

Casavir was pacing out in the courtyard of the Blue Palace. He hadn’t been able to stay in the Winking Skeever knowing that she was so close to him and having Bishop help her get ready. The ranger had been up to the blacksmith throughout the day, and Casavir had seen him sneaking about the market district as well. _Typical of that ranger. He was always up to no good._ Casavir only saw the ranger while Hildr was busy, and was wondering what kind of nefarious surprises Bishop had in store for his gentle lady. There was no way that it could be anything good for her. 

He was also still contemplating what Hildr had said that morning, about the idea of a jealous Dragonborn. He had hoped that he had not dug his own grave by asking another woman to the ball. _How would he have known she was here if the Dragonborn didn’t announce herself?_ Any man would be honored to have the lovely Hildr on his arm this night, and Casavir felt blessed by Mara herself that Hildr had accepted his offer. He resolved to show her exactly how grateful he was that she had accepted his invitation, and he would endeavor to make her even half as happy as she made him no matter what it took to do so. He nodded to himself. 

As he walked back towards the arch that served as a gateway to the rest of Solitude, he noticed a couple walking arm in arm directly towards him. The man was dressed all in black, and after a moment Casavir recognized the Ranger, but that would mean the angel that floated next to him could only be Hildr. She looked even more beautiful than she had at The Jewel, or when he had spied her this morning while training.

The early sunset cast a warm glow on her skin, making it seem like she had a golden aura about her. The light was caught in her brassy hair and it seemed to shimmer as if made of fire, accentuated by how it swayed as she walked. The choice of a green gown made her eyes sparkle, and he noticed that she had a glowing smile on her red lips. The memory of her in the Jewel did not even come close to doing her justice to how she looked now. A golden arm band, bangle, and two golden and emerald necklaces, glittered in the light as well. Suddenly it made sense that the ranger was at the smith for the day. _The ranger must have spent every coin he had on jewelry for her_. He stood, rooted in the spot as they approached. He did not even notice the other guests milling about or anyone else around him, he had eyes for her and her alone. It was a good thing that he could not bring himself to move, or he knew that he would have run out to her and knelt before her, mistaking her for Dibella made flesh. _No, not even a goddess could hold a candle to his lady_. He knew it was blasphemous, but it was also just the truth.

It was Bishop sniggering as they drew closer that finally snapped him out of his trance. 

“You look stunning this evening, my lady. I fear to gaze at you too long, or I may lose myself.” He bowed and kissed the knuckles of her outstretched hand as she left Bishop’s side for his own. “Shall we?”


	3. At the Grand Crystal Ball

The ballroom glittered and shone from every surface. Whatever surfaces were not gilded were polished until they gleamed. She had never seen anything so opulent before and was struck by how much time and effort must have gone into something like this. Hildr didn’t know if it was the cold of the room or how much gold and marble was everywhere that made her gasp. She grabbed a gilded wine goblet from a nearby table and downed it quickly. Hopefully Casavir wouldn’t be able to tell how nervous she was right now. 

“May I have this dance, my lady?” He had a concerned look in his eyes as he held out his arm to her. It could also have been that he was impressed at how quickly she drained that goblet. 

“Of course, Casavir.” She set the goblet down on the table she had taken it from. She gently placed her hand on his forearm and let him lead her to the dance floor. She shook her head gently to clear her nerves and took a deep breath. 

“You may call me Cas, if you would prefer, my lady.” She thought that she saw a rosy blush paint his cheeks at that comment. _His blushes are rather endearing. I think it would be a fun game to make him blush more_. The way that he said it sounded to Hildr almost like he thought he was being rather forward telling her of his nickname already. 

“Very well, Cas.” She took his left hand with her right, and after he twirled her around in a circle, she placed her left hand on his shoulder, and let him take her waist for the dance. “And you needn’t call me my lady all the time if you do not wish to either.” He chuckled as if to answer her, but did not say a word. 

Dancing with Casavir felt like she was floating around in a gilded dream. The dances may have had intricate steps, but she seemed to flow from step to step, never even getting tangled in her skirts. She figured that her training in the mornings would have helped to make her more graceful, but she didn’t dream that it would pay off so quickly, or be so useful. _I would love to see how all of the training could pay off for the both of us. Bishop is not nearly graceful enough to appreciate what her training had taught her, but Casavir… Down girl, you only just met him this morning._ It also did not seem that the wine she had drank earlier had any effect on her, at least none that she could notice. _That may also be thanks to Cas, he is an excellent dance partner._ _And I am sure he would be good at other things. If only I could find out sooner rather than later._

Casavir was only too happy to twirl her around the dance floor to the different tunes played by the bards. He had not had such a relaxing time in so many years. If not for his vows, he would agree to never let go of his lady, and he would never get tired of gazing at her. He would only be too happy to get lost in her emerald green eyes. The cloud of her rose scent enveloped him, and he imagined the two of them in a distant grassy field. The tinkling noises that the gold in her hair made sounded almost like raindrops against a glass window pane. It felt right to hold her, his large hand was comfortably nestled in the curve at her waist. 

“It is a good thing that no other woman has tried to cut in or take you away from me this evening, Cas, although I do stand by what I had said this morning. I am not the jealous type.” She squeezed his shoulder gently, and was startled when Bishop’s ring flashed in the candle light. Had Casavir been wearing his armor instead of these fine silks she may not have noticed the ring. 

“My lady?” It was clear that he was not following along with what she was trying to say. His soft bass voice brought her back to the moment and the dance. 

“This morning, I asked you how you could be so sure that the Dragonborn was not the jealous type.”

“I remember, but I am not sure…” He looked down at her, confused as to why she would bring this up here and now, while they were dancing. _Is she playing some trick on me? She had to be… otherwise…_

“And you said you came to Skyrim to offer your sword to the dragonborn? Does that offer still stand?”

He couldn’t respond to her, only continue the steps of the dance. He was piecing together what she was not saying aloud to him. He slowly nodded in response. 

“Then, I accept.” She took a deep breath to steady herself. “There may be some conditions to you joining me. I have already asked Bishop earlier today, and he outright refused to travel with me if you were to join as well.” 

“My lady, I will accept whatever conditions that you would ask of me, so long as they would not dishonor either of us.” She felt his hand tighten on her waist, holding her steady as they danced. “But you do understand that it will be difficult. There is a history between the ranger and I.”

“I understand. I figured that your conversation this morning was not a pleasant one.” _Overheard that it wasn’t pleasant would be more appropriate, but we are not going there_. “Would you care to enlighten me as to the history that you share with my current companion?”

“No, my lady, I would not.” His tone said that he would not accept any argument on this. 

“That bad, huh? What were you, secret lovers who ended on bad terms or something? Assassins sent after each other?” She was just teasing him, trying to lighten the mood while they danced, but could tell that her words made him more and more uncomfortable. She saw that he was blushing again, but he would not look at her. “Don’t worry, I won’t pry.” She felt him relax at that statement. “The past is the past, and wanting to change it won’t do any of us any good.”

“Thank you, my lady. You are both wise and kind.” The full smile that he gave her made her knees weak, and he must have noticed her stumble over a step. “Would you like to rest for a while?”

“Yes, please. And if you will continue to be an excellent dance partner, I think I would like some more wine. Would you care for some as well?”

“My vows prevent it, my lady.” His voice had turned matter of fact as he told her.

“Your vows?” She figured that he must have taken some vows when he joined his order, but she had no idea what they could be.

“I must pray to keep a pure life, dedicated to honor and justice. I must never succumb to worldly temptations.”

“So… no drinking.” What he was implying was dawning on her. “And no physical intimacy?” _Gods, no wonder he had been upset when she made the joke about him and Bishop being lovers._ She felt herself blush to match any Casavir had given her so far, if not as red as her hair.

Casavir only blushed and cleared his throat as an answer. She hid her own blush in a wine goblet she grabbed off a nearby tray. _Gods I am such an idiot sometimes._

“But you don’t mind if I do?” She asked him with a coy smile. “Drink that is.” She rushed on, not wanting him to think that way of her. _What was it about him that has me stumbling all over my words? Not even Bishop at his worst had this effect on me. Besides, that life is behind me, and I do not intend to ever go back_.

He chuckled before responding to her, leaning back into his chair, holding his goblet of water as if a shield of sorts. He looked rather dashing sitting like that, and all dressed up in steel grey and black silk. _He looks more human as well. He doesn't have a metal shell to hide behind._ "Not at all, my lady. Please, enjoy yourself.” His smile was a flash of dazzling, pearly white teeth, and she had to look away when she realized she was staring at him. 

They sat together watching the other dancers for some time. Hildr knew that she was not the worst dancer here, but even she did not think that she would be able to keep up with some of the others currently out on the floor. They seemed to cover most if not all of the open space while she watched them, and it convinced her that she would be very out of place for those dances. That, and their partners held their women much closer than Casavir had held her. _If only he would hold me like that._ She blushed again, and shifted uneasily in her seat. She was grateful that Casavir did not seem to notice her movement. _I do not want to have to bring that up, not after what he said about his vows._ She made an intense study of her wine goblet instead. 

“Such a beauty should not be sitting when she should be dancing. May I?” Hildr looked up to see a strange Breton man she had never seen before offering her his hand. By all accounts he would have been handsome if he had been only a little taller and more muscular. 

She leaned closer to Casavir. “Do you mind, darling?” She drew out the question, wanting to make it sound like they were lovers, and this man was interrupting their evening together.

“Not at all, my lady. I will wait here for you.” _I may even enjoy watching you dance for a little while. I will especially enjoy it if you are as graceful a dancer as you were this morning training. No. I must not think of her like that. Even if she had just called me darling._

The strange Breton whisked his lady away without a second thought, but Casavir made sure to keep an eye on her, no matter where she was on the dance floor. He was certain after watching Hildr and this stranger for a song that he had been a better partner for her, and they had been a better matched couple while dancing. She was more graceful than the stranger she was dancing with now. She seemed to flow around him no matter the steps to the dance. _Did she look like that in my arms?_

A second song, faster this time, started to play, and Hildr was still out dancing with this other man. He knew this dance as well, but he knew that it would require him to hold her closer to him than what he was comfortable with, at least for now. _Gods, he had only just met her this morning, and already he was thinking of another chance to dance with her, after he knew her better_. _Much more than just dancing would have also been on his mind, but his vows would not permit things like that. Stendarr, Akatosh, Arkay forgive me._ _The ranger had been right after all to warn me to prepare for tonight._ It was then that he noticed that Hildr was shooting looks over at where he sat when the dance had turned her so she could see him. There was a pleading look in her eyes that seemed to speak of her discomfort with her current partner. 

He crossed the dance floor as quickly as he could without seeming to run to her side. _How long had I missed those glances from her?_

“Excuse me, sir. Do you mind if I cut in?” He rested a heavy hand on the man’s shoulder to show him that he would not take any refusal to the idea of his lady being returned to him. _Not that she is mine, or belonged to any man, but she was accompanying me tonight_. The strange Breton looked as if he wanted to say that he would very much mind, but then thought better of it once he realized that he had to look up to Casavir. Casavir took Hildr’s hand and twirled her around before pulling her back in to dance. She was as graceful as ever, and the wine that she had been drinking did not have any real effect on her that he could tell.

“Thank you. He was starting to get a little too handsy for me.” The relief in her voice was palpable. He felt embarrassed that he did not notice her discomfort earlier and save her then. 

“Do not mention it, my lady. I am at your disposal.” He meant it. _Anything that she would need of me, if it was in my power to give it to her, I would without a second thought. I would even try to bring her the moon if she asked it of me_. He wished that he could pull her tighter against him and beg her forgiveness for not coming to her aid sooner. Instead he gripped her side tighter and tried to do the more intricate steps for the dance, and twirled her around every time that he could. 

While lost in the steps as she was dancing with Casavir again, Hildr’s heart dropped. _Bishop had shown up after all_. She had to think fast. “Cas, do you trust me?”

“Yes, my lady. I trust you with my life.” His response was honest, and did not need the moment she had expected to agree, but his face was puzzled that she would ask that of him right now, without any prompting. She felt his thumb gently move against her side. 

“Follow my lead. Bishop is here, and probably drunk. I am going to need your help with him.” She smiled as she said it, trying to make it look like a general dancing conversation with her partner.

Casavir continued to dance with her as if nothing was out of the ordinary. “Anything you need, my lady. All you need to do is ask it of me.” He finally had spotted the ranger stalking towards them on the dance floor.

 _Oh yeah, Bishop was going to need to up his game if he was going to compete with Casavir_. If she didn’t need to stay alert at the moment, she would have swooned into Casavir’s arms.

“I’m here, darling. Don’t mind if I cut in do you?” He had changed out of his usual leathers, and was dressed in fine clothes like everyone else tonight. “May I have this dance?” He looked uncomfortable, and that was probably why he walked as if he had been drinking since she arrived at the ball. _But there is also a chance that he has actually been drinking that long._

“Bishop! What are you doing here?!” Casavir had dropped his hand from her side, used their linked hands to push her gently away and behind him, and now stood in front of her as if guarding Hildr from Bishop and his advances.

 _Good, he can play along when I need him to. He is going to be a great asset._ She was upset with herself for thinking of him like that, but it was the honest truth. She took a step back to give Bishop room to get closer to her.

“Why I’m here to rescue a flustering, little boy from himself. Now, get lost, Casavir. She’s mine tonight.” Bishop stopped in front of her, just past where Casavir stood. Bishop lazily drew a finger across her exposed collarbone, as if he wanted Casavir and everyone else there to know that Hildr was his, and his alone, to enjoy. “I must say, you look quite sexy. All that armor you usually wear covers up the best parts.” Bishop pulled her almost flush against him, and she could smell the ale on him. 

Hildr glanced over at Casavir to see he was watching her reactions, waiting for another cue from her. Worry was painted clearly on his face, apparently not fond of the idea of Bishop treating her this way in public. She wrapped her arm around Bishop’s shoulders as if she was reciprocating his advances, before pointing to the door and holding up three fingers to Casavir. He nodded as he understood her meaning, and stalked off towards the door, playing up the act of a shunned lover.

“So why are you here, darling, all dressed up and all? I thought you said you wouldn’t be coming? Not, that I mind, of course.” She ran her hand lazily back across his shoulders so that her motioning to Casavir wouldn’t seem as obvious. He hissed to show that he appreciated her attention and wanted her to continue.

“Well, I didn’t like the way that Paladin was eyeing you up when you got here. Besides,” he leaned in closer to her and she could smell the ale on his breath, stronger this time, “it wouldn’t be fair for you to have all the fun.”

She barely managed one simple dance with Bishop, who was nowhere near as graceful as Casavir had been, before getting him off the dance floor. She got mulled wine for both of them, and as Bishop drank it, she caught Casavir’s eye. He had been watching them from the balcony, with a nod from her, he moved towards the door and out into the night. _Now for my part_.

“Bishop, why don’t we go have our own fun tonight?” She lowered her voice into a sultry tone, knowing that would get his attention, as well as running her hand down his arm. “This doesn’t seem like you kind of an event, darling.” When she saw his amber eyes flash, she knew that he got her meaning. He quickly finished his wine, and put down the empty goblet on the nearest table.

“Then lead on, Princess. The night is still young.” He had a mischievous twinkle in his eye as he tightly wound his arm around her waist, and kissed her shoulder, turning her to lead him away from these fancy nobles he always had told her he hated. “And there is so much I have wanted to do to you for so long now.” He ran his hand along her side teasingly, before he placed his other hand against the collar he had given her, pulling her backwards against him.

Hildr grabbed another bottle on her way out of the hall, and passed it to Bishop, to make sure that her plan would work. He was already fairly drunk, she just had to make sure that he was so that she could have time to talk to Casavir again tonight. 

“I just need to say goodnight to Casavir, and then we can go.” _This would work perfectly_. “He just stepped outside, so I will meet you out there. Alright handsome?” Bishop gave her a begrudging nod of approval before drinking the bottle she had handed him, and she was off.

“Casavir. I know you are out here.” She hissed in the darkness, towards where she was fairly certain that he stood in the courtyard. He started to approach her out of the shadows he was waiting in, but she pulled him back a little way into the full dark, just far enough so that Bishop couldn’t see or overhear them when he came outside. “I need you to trust me, no matter what happens. I am going to get Bishop to bed, and then meet you downstairs in the inn.” She looked up to him, trying to find his crystal blue eyes in the darkness. “I know that you are at least somewhat upset by Bishop being handsy, and I am sorry, since I know he is about to be overly affectionate and territorial. Can you please not interfere? It will go much easier that way.” She rubbed his cheek gently with her thumb to make sure that he understood the need. She felt his thumb moving on her side again, she hadn’t even felt his hand go to her waist. _How could such a small movement from him make me come completely undone?_

Casavir reluctantly agreed. It pained him to agree, but he knew that this would be the best option. It would be torturous watching this wolf paw at his lady, but he did trust her with his life. “Lead the way, my lady. I will watch your back, and protect you as I can.” _I just pray that I can protect my heart as well_.

Casavir’s hand left her side, but he did not lower it. “Let’s go, my knight. Thank you for watching my back.” She curled her fingers against his face before she returned to the ranger’s side.

“So, Princess, where are you taking me?” Bishop was starting to slur his words as he leaned heavily into her and ran his hand up and down her side with a firm steady pressure. He also spoke louder, probably to scare anyone off, or to make his claim on her. “Under the stars would be my preference, but I will do anything for you, ladyship.” He had stopped and pulled her around to look at him for the last part. “Anything.” The hand on her side tightened, and she could feel his other thumb rubbing her lower lip.

 _I am so sorry, Casavir. Please forgive me for this_. She gave in to Bishop’s touch knowing full well that there would be a price to pay later for this, but at the moment she didn’t care. They stood there for long moments, locked together in the moonlight on the main street in Solitude. His kisses were hungry and demanding, with a hint at how long he had waited for her. He was passionately claiming her in the moonlight for everyone who had eyes to see. When they finally broke apart, they took off at a faster pace back to the inn. Under any other circumstances, she wouldn’t have been shy to continue, but there were other things that she needed to take care of right now.

She grabbed two more ales from the bar before she followed Bishop up to their room. She tried to send a reassuring look to Casavir as he followed her into the inn, but he was obviously avoiding her eye. _Please forgive me, Casavir._ She trudged up the stairs, but was relieved to see Casavir had taken a seat and was drinking tea, again at the table where he could watch her if he needed to interfere. _Please forgive me, Casavir. Mara, please let him forgive me_. She prepared herself quickly, and pushed open the door. Bishop was sitting on their bed in only his trousers when she came in. He crossed to her quickly and closed the door before taking an ale from her.

He held her back against the closed door with one hand while draining his tankard. He put their drinks down, and pressed a knee against her through her skirt while kissing down her neck and shoulder. “You’re mine, Princess. Mine. You belong to none other.” His kisses became rougher and more insistent, his wandering hands pushing her to let go of her control and surrender to him.

“Bishop, no.” She gasped, only just maintaining control over herself. He hesitated, but he did not release his hold on her. _Mara’s mercy_. She had only just held on to herself. “Not like this. I want you to remember it. Our first time. I want us to both remember all of it. I… I am afraid that if I give in now, you will forget everything and be gone in the morning.” It was not that far from the truth. She did want him, but she wanted it to be something that they were both completely consenting to, not her teasing him while drunk. She would have him, and let him have her. _Just not now, not tonight._

He nuzzled her neck, his breath hot as it spread over her neck and chest. “Of course, Princess, but I don’t think I can wait forever for you. I would never force myself on you, but,” he rolled his hips against her, “you are testing that right now.” She felt his teeth as he nipped at the base of her neck. She was so close to giving in, but she needed to make it up to Casavir.

“If you are a good boy, maybe I will reconsider your offer when I come back tonight.” She kissed him deeply, one last time for tonight. She led him back to their bed, and made sure he would be okay for the rest of the night. She made sure to leave water and her ale near the bed, gave Karnwyr a pet, and quickly left.

She popped her head out her door. Looking out into the common room she was relieved that Casavir was still there. She motioned for him to wait just another moment while she turned back to grab her cloak from the peg by the door and wrapped the ties around her chest and tied it off under her arm as she walked back out. She almost ran back down to his side before leading him back out into the night. She was not surprised that he would not meet her eye, but prayed that he would not stay sullen for long. His silence weighed on her. _Stendarr, Mara, Akatosh, Dibella have mercy_. She prayed to herself as she led him towards Castle Dour. She figured, correctly, that the ramparts would be deserted at this time of night, not that she had ever seen anyone besides Casavir walking up there.

She reached out and gently brushed against Casavir’s arm when they reached a quiet, secluded corner where they could watch the city and the sea without being seen. She was sure that he would pull away from her touch, but thankfully he did not. He was as steadfast as stone, her knight, her protector. She drew him deeper into the shadow with her.

“So, I guess you saw that. Back in the street.” She began cautiously probing. He didn’t answer, and still didn’t look at her. “It…It wasn’t what it looked like.”

“Really?” He rumbled in that deep bass voice of his. She could feel him growing more distant with each passing moment. He clasped his hands in front of himself, as if it would offer protection. She had really stuck her foot in it this time, that was for sure. “You did not kiss him?”

“Alright, so maybe it was what it looked like… but the plan worked, and I am here with you now. Does that not mean anything?” She inched closer to him in the dark, and ran her hands down his forearms. 

A snort in the darkness was her only reply. She wrapped her cloak around her shoulders grateful that she had thought to grab it, even if her Nord blood offered her some resilience to the cold. He was close enough, and she offered the edge of her fur cloak, realizing that he didn’t have one on, and was undoubtedly cold standing there next to her in just his fancy silks.

He accepted hesitantly. _Keeping my distance is not working at all, and I am, admittedly, rather cold_. _I do not want to be distant from her._

“Thank you, my lady, you are most kind.” He said it in a flat, obligatory tone, but he had still said it. It felt good, almost right, to be standing next to her, and she reached down to take his hands in hers. He resisted her, and she gently persisted.

“Thank you, Cas. For everything. I only wished tonight had ended better.” She swallowed hard, past a lump in her throat. “I would understand if you no longer wish to travel with me. I free you from any obligation that you believe you would have to me. I wish only for you to be happy, no matter what.” She kept her eyes downcast, not wanting to see him angry with her for how she had behaved with Bishop earlier. She had enjoyed being with Bishop. His attention was always appreciated, but she had been a fool to let Bishop kiss her like that in front of Casavir. 

“My lady,” he reached down and pulled her face up to look at him with his thumb and index finger, “I will still travel with you, as long as you will have me. As I said at the ball, I will do my best to get along with your current companion, but I can make no promises that this will work.” He stroked his thumb along her chin as he had along her side at the ball. 

She could have kissed him right then; she was so happy with his response, and that he would at least try for her. Remembering his vows, she instead grabbed his forearm and rubbed her thumb against the inside of his wrist. She tried again to take both of his hands, but he still refused.

“Your sword will not be much use if you lose your fingers.” She quipped playfully, trying to lighten the mood. She could see that he appreciated it, and he was once again staring at her. She felt like she could get lost in his kind clear blue eyes. She moved closer to him, slowly, so as not to scare him off. She pulled his hands up under the front of her cloak, making sure not to lead his hands anywhere inappropriate, as much as she would have wanted it, and curled her fingers against his chest in return. “Is that acceptable? I don’t want you to break your vows, or tempt you.” She blushed, aware of his cold fingers on the bare skin of her chest. Suddenly, her corset was too tight for her to breathe deeply, and her heart thundered in her chest like a war drum. If she could feel her heart beating that strong, there was no way that he would be able to miss it. She thought she felt his thumbs move against her chest for a second, and she almost gasped in surprise.

“My lady, we should get back to the inn. I fear that staying out here for too much longer would result in either or both of us getting sick.” He slowly and reluctantly pulled his hands out from beneath her cloak.

“You know, you are welcome to join me in training in the morning. If you wish of course. I would be honored to have you join me.” She was desperate to keep him close to her. She didn’t want him to start being distant with her already. 

“The honor would be all mine, my lady.” He bowed his head to cover a light blush.

“Would you be able to help me with one more thing tonight, Cas?” She hesitated, trying to figure out how best to word her request. “I may need help getting this dress off. At least loosening the corset. I would not want to cut the laces and ruin it.”

“My lady, that would…” He grew hot at the thought of undressing her, especially so soon after meeting her. It would not be a lie to say it was inappropriate, but he was going to say it would be his pleasure to do such a thing. It would have been a pleasure anyway, were it not for his vows, or her companion in her room.

“Just to undo the laces from the door. I would not do anything that would bring you shame. I doubt Bishop is awake, or in any condition to help me if he is.”

“Alright, my lady.” He would not deny that he would have enjoyed helping her undress, and anything she would have wanted to do after that. He was still a man after all, and he did not want to leave her just yet anyway. He hated to admit it again, but Bishop had been right about her. “Would you like to take the shortest way back to the inn?” 

He was happy to see that she grinned back at him. “No, but I feel you wouldn’t want to take as long of a detour as I would want to.” It sounded like she was saddened by the thought of cutting their time together short. 

“Maybe not, my lady, but we need not go directly back to the inn.” He held out his arm if she would want it. _Arkay, Akatosh, Mara, Stendarr, please let her take my arm_. Being distant with her for having kissed Bishop was not working. _I did not want it to work, and I do not ever want to be distant with her again._

Hildr wrapped her hands around his bicep as he led her back through the ramparts. He fought the urge to flex his muscles under her touch. He was not sure that she would appreciate it, or what she would think of him preening for her, especially since she knew about his vows now. He felt her thumbs probing, rubbing his muscles. He smiled at her actions. _She is interested in me enough to try and probe out how strong I am, what use the sword is that she has accepted into her service_. He gave her a small flex, and thought that he heard her chuckle as if she had waited for this. 

Even if they did take their time and walk the long way through Solitude to the inn, they made it back too soon for his liking. He opened the door for her, and ushered her into the inn, a hand firmly on the small of her back, over her cloak. “If I may, my lady.” He led her to the bar, and ordered each of them a mug of tea with honey. He invited her into his room as he left his tea on his bedside table. 

She was surprised at how orderly everything was in the room, as well as what little he had brought with him. His room was mostly bare, there was a fur lined cloak hanging on a peg near the door, a pack, saddle bags, and a bedroll that she could see. His armor was gleaming where it was stacked on a chest, his sword and shield propped next to his pile of armor. She noticed a book laying open but figured that he would not appreciate her prying into what it was, or trying to read anything from it. For a wonder, he blushed when he noticed that she was looking at the book. “I am sure you are quite tired, my lady. Shall we?” His blush deepened, as if he just heard the innuendo in his statement. “I...I mean…” 

She reached out for his arm so that he could guide her to her room. He was grateful for her apparent understanding and acceptance. He was grateful that she did not bring up his embarrassment as they went to her room. _If I had not just met her, or she were a member of my order, I would not have had second thoughts about letting her sleep next to me. Only sleep, I could not live with myself if I hurt her like that._

“Allow me, my lady. You should warm your hands on the mug.” He lifted her arm and undid the strap of her cloak, before gently removing it for her. He laid it over the back of the chair that he had sat in for breakfast that morning. If she would be bold enough to want him to unlace her dress here, he would, but he hoped that she would be more decent than that. 

“Would you prefer to undo the corset laces with the door partially closed? I wouldn’t want to tempt you, Cas.” Her hand was very warm on his cheek, thanks to holding the mug of tea. He had not realized that he was that close to her.

“If that is your wish, my lady, so be it. It would also keep you out of sight of the other patrons here.” She was too kind, to think of him and his vows, even when she was asking something like this of him. He grabbed her cloak and tossed it over his shoulder as he followed her closer to her door. He stopped just outside of the door as she stepped through, leaving it cracked enough for Casavir to reach through and untie the corset laces. After a moment of fumbling with them, he felt them slacken, and he pulled them looser so that she would not have to fight with them after he had left. 

She darted forward to set her tea down, and had to get a firm hold on the top of her dress. Casavir had not only undone the tie, but had loosened all of the lacings for her as well. She knew that her whole face was a dark crimson red. It was not just that he had undone those laces so quickly and thoroughly for her, but she had felt his soft fingers lingering on the skin of her back. She turned back to him, trying to hide how much she had enjoyed his touch, and sheepishly took her cloak from him. 

“Goodnight, my lady.” He bowed to her, and was getting ready to leave when she grabbed his arm. He looked back to her, and felt her pull him closer. She leaned up and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. 

“Goodnight, Casavir. Thank you for a wonderful time tonight. I will see you at dawn to train.” And with that the door was closed, and she was gone.


	4. Trading Blows

The golden bands still braided in her hair gently clicked as she swirled blocking his hesitant blows. She wouldn’t practice with weapons against Casavir until he had proven himself in hand to hand combat. He still remembered how easily she had beaten him the other morning. Luckily, he was skilled in restoration magic, and he would be needing it later, if how sore he felt now was any indication. She rained multiple blows on him every time she got within range. He felt more than one bruise already turning a deep blue, and many others that were still fresh enough to be red. He couldn’t bear the thought of hitting her, or even raising a hand against her, but he would let her attack him to her heart’s content. His attacks were always wide of her, and she dodged them easily. He would be content if the only damage that she suffered were bruised knuckles from where she hit him. 

“Don’t play games, Cas. I will never be able to gauge how good of a fighter you are if you don’t actually make an attempt at fighting me. Please. I trust you to not hurt me.” Her reassuring smile reached her eyes. “Now, fight me like you mean it.” They had been out here in Castle Dour’s courtyard for some time this morning already, and they were both starting to get tired.

With a sigh, he stood back up in the stance that she had taught him. _Please do not let me hurt her_. He took a deep breath and charged her. She easily countered or avoided his every punch; it was almost like she was dancing away from his blows without any effort. She grinned at him the whole time, almost like she was toying with him.

“Better.” She said once she had pinned him again. She released both of his wrists from where she held them stretched out to either side of them. She stopped right before she would have headbutted him. “If it would motivate you, maybe we could make this a test.” She eyed him with a measuring look. “If you can best me or knock me to the ground, you can ask anything you would desire of me, and I will give it freely if I am able. If you can land only a blow on me, I will give you a token of esteem. If I bring you to your knees as easily as I best Bishop when we spar, or as I did when you introduced yourself, maybe I will make a demand of you. Agreed?”

_What could she possibly demand of me that I would not willingly give her? If it were in my power, I would give it without a second thought._

_What would I ask of her if he could manage to best her hand to hand? What could I ask of her that she would be willing to give me?_

_What would the token be if he could only land one blow on her, not that he actually would hit her?_ His mind raced, and before he knew it, he was agreeing to her challenge.

She walked away from him to the other end of the courtyard, and gave him a devilish grin over her shoulder to encourage him to charge.

Just the look that she gave him was enough to excite him to run and charge with all of his might. He was happy that he had listened to what she had said that morning and not worn his armor. He was much more agile when not weighed down in mail and plate. He was quieter too. He had hoped that at the very least he would be able to earn her favor, especially if he could do it without actually hitting her.

He ran past her before he knew it. He feinted around her, and caught her arm at the last moment, and twirled her against him. He had her so that her back was to him. It almost felt as if he were dancing with her again, but this was not like any dance that he had ever done before, this was much more intimate and personal. The flowing moves that he did felt like they were part of him, and it was not the music that drew him into the dance. When he was done, his one arm was across her chest, holding her one hand by her neck, and his other arm was holding her other hand near her waist, and holding her back tight against his chest. With the hand at her throat, he rubbed the side of her neck, and was surprised to feel the chain from the emerald and gold locket he had bought her.

“Does this mean I have won, my lady?” His voice was right in her ear, and she could feel his warm breath. His base chuckle sent waves through her.

 _Pretty sure you aren’t the only winner here Casavir._ She took a few deep breaths to steady herself after his attack. It had taken her by surprise how he had come upon her, and this grab he had her in was making her feel like she had the upper hand. _Bishop had never gotten the upper hand on me no matter how hard he had tried. Have I grown that undisciplined in traveling with Bishop? What would Vilkas or Farkas say if they ever found out?_ She was having a hard time catching her breath, or trying to get her heart to stop racing.

“Do I need to make my request now, or may I save it for use later?” He whispered by her ear again, apparently oblivious to the effect that he was having on her. With just that question she felt her resolve slipping again, and her heart beat faster and harder again.

“You can save it, and we can play this game a few more times if you would like to. I am sure that Bishop would also enjoy playing, and you would enjoy showing off. He has never been able to come this close with me in combat, and I am sure he could use a taste of his own medicine.” She leaned her head back over his shoulder and gave him a salacious grin, and wiggled slightly in his grasp, to make sure he was aware he was still holding her, and because she was rather enjoying this.

He coughed and released her, looking at his feet and rubbing the back of his neck. “I am sorry, my lady. I did not mean to hold you in such a compromising position.” Not that it felt bad to have her in his arms or hold her close to him like that.

She wished she could tell him to do it again, maybe later in the evening, and in his room, but everything kept coming back to those pesky vows of his.

“C’mon, Cas. Let’s go get something to eat. And see what trouble I can get in with Bishop.” She let out a deep sigh and turned to go.

“Very well, my lady.” He held out his arm, and they walked arm in arm back to the inn.

It didn’t surprise Hildr in the least that Bishop was already up when they got back to the inn. It was later in the morning than it had been yesterday when she was done training, and with as much as she was pushing him to drink last night, she was sure any sleep he had managed to get was not good sleep. _Maybe he thought what happened last night was just a dream. Hopefully he remembered part of it, it was always nice to sleep against him, even if that was all they ever did_.

She gently tousled Bishop’s short hair as she walked past him to her seat, and propped one knee up over both of his knees as she got comfortable. He cocked an eyebrow at her, and ran a hand up her thigh. She knew it was not just her sore muscles from training that were crying out for his touch, but Casavir arrived with breakfast for all three of them before Hildr could completely enjoy Bishop’s attentions. Thankfully Bishop didn't completely remove his hand from her leg, just kept it down by her knee.

“So, ladyship, what exactly was the plan? You and I go to the barrow, get the horn, and then back to those hermits on the mountain. Those old men should have some idea of what is going on by now, right? Something that could help you, and my nerves when we fight another dragon.” He looked at her appraisingly, still not acknowledging Casavir at the table with them. Bishop didn’t want Casavir there at all, and still hoped that Hildr would let him down easy, so he didn’t have to make it a harsher conversation. He wouldn’t want to deal with the aftermath or her wrath if she knew about what methods he wanted to use to get rid of the knight.

“Well,” she spoke slowly and cautiously, “that is part of the plan. We need to go to the barrow, and get the horn, yes. I would think that the Greybeards should have more information about what could be going on that we need.” She paused nervously, looking to Casavir for strength before she went on. She was not ready to tell him about the dragon sickness she had. “I think we should all go, Bishop. If Cas is willing to come with us, we should bring him along.”

Casavir’s heart swelled hearing that she wanted to bring him along with her. She was accepting his sword at her side, after all, and she was defending him to her current companion.

“Ladyship. We already spoke about this. If you want him to come with you, then I won’t.” Bishop crossed his arms across his chest, and roughly moved her leg off of his.

“You would go back to Riverwood? Abandon me?” The hurt was plain on her voice, she didn’t try to hide it. “Even after everything?”

“Princess…” Bishop’s frustration was clear and mounting. He was leaning back in his chair, as if trying to push himself out of the conversation.

“My lady, if I may.” He let the silence settle around the three of them. “Would I be able to use my request now?” He was trying to bluff his way into the group, but he was definitely not used to this.

Hildr saw what he was doing, but wasn’t sure that this would be the best idea for him. “Cas…” She cleared her throat and tried again. “Casavir, you would be free to use the request you earned this morning if you wish, but” she held up her hand so that he wouldn’t interrupt, “I am not sure that this would be the time to do so. This is a disagreement between Bishop and I concerning you. I would not want you to waste this request, especially since you haven’t earned another one yet.”

Bishop shot forward to look Hildr in the eye. “You mean that he beat you in your little challenge, ladyship?” He let out a low whistle. “I bet you let him.”

“Just because you can’t manage to touch me in a game after how long now, Bishop? Although,” her eyes sparkled deviously and she leaned forward in her chair towards him, eyeing up her prey, “if you think you could manage it, you could try and best me. If you can finally win a round, you can make the decision on Casavir coming with us once and for all.”

“Fine. He can come with us, but the minute I win at your little challenge, he is gone.” Bishop shot Casavir a victorious grin, as if his time with them would be measured in hours if not minutes.

“Deal.” Hildr slapped her hands on the table, and pushed herself up. “Well, c’mon boys. We have work to do before we head out, and I want to start out to the barrow before midday.” She grabbed her mug of tea and went to the room she shared with Bishop, leaving Casavir and Bishop alone.

Bishop got up from the table as well. “She’s mine, Paladin. Don’t forget that.” He growled the warning and was off to get ready as well, seemingly determined to hurry and leave Casavir behind.

~~~~~

Two hours later, they were all prepared, packed, the horses were saddled, and they were well on their way to Ustengrav. They decided that the marsh land was no place for the two horses, and decided to drop down towards Morthal before turning North. Bishop was getting more handsy than normal from his position astride her paint mare, Mist, behind her. Instead of his usual insistence on walking beside her, or holding on to her hips if he rode, he rubbed his hands up her sides, down her thighs, and across her belly while talking directly into her ear.

“Really, Bishop?” She finally managed to ask him after a while of his relentless touch. “Are you really so jealous that you need to put on this much of a display?”

“When you object to my attention, let me know, Princess. But currently,” He kissed her neck as he squeezed her tighter, “it doesn’t sound like you mind all that much.” She had let out a soft moan as he pawed her like that. He knew exactly how to get her riled up.

She didn’t need to look over at Casavir to know that he had seen Bishop’s little displays while they rode, or to know that he roundly disapproved of them. If she didn’t know about his vows, she would think that the glares that Casavir gave her were jealousy that he didn’t have the chance to give her the same caresses Bishop often stole from the saddle. _Gods, did they really have to compete like children for a sweetroll? Couldn’t they just work together, even for a little bit, to help me save all of Nirn?_ Then they could go back to their petty squabbles for all she cared.

A little after midday they reached the spot the Greybeards had marked on the map. There were several bandits out in front of the ruins. Hildr and Bishop were able to sneak close to the bandits and after the sound of a few humming bowstrings, they were all lying dead on the ground. They quickly went about looting anything of value from the corpses, and retrieved their arrows. Hildr almost felt bad that they didn’t leave a bandit for Casavir.

Inside the ruins it was a different story. There was a group of necromancers and thralls in the first room, and draugr further in the caves. They were used to sneaking up on the enemy, and with Casavir in heavy metal plate, it was much harder to surprise them. They did what they could to still use stealth, but it was not as effective. Hildr and Bishop did their best to flank enemies, and let Casavir take the brunt of any attack with his sword.

“You ring like a bell, Paladin. Any chance you could kindly shut up that racket?” Bishop started that comment hissing, but was yelling by the end.

She hated to agree, and to take this kind of a position against Casavir so soon after he joined them, but what Bishop said was true. There was no use in trying to sneak up on any enemies with Casavir on her heels, and she wouldn’t use him just to flush out enemies. 

“Casavir, you know Bishop is right. Unless you can be silent in all of that armor, it may be better if you wait here. Bishop and I can both go ahead with our bows and make quick work of anything that we would come across. It may even be safer for all of us if you stay up here. That way we can make a clean escape before any more of their friends show up.” She nodded back over her shoulder to take in the dead necromancers as well as the piles of ash that used to be their thralls, and the few draugr they had come across. “Besides, if there are any more draugr, we can take them out from a decent range. Will you watch my back, Cas?” She wiped some of the sweat from his furrowed brow, accidentally smearing blood across his face instead. “Please?”

“You heard her, you giant puppy. Sit. Stay.” He waited a few moments before continuing in a patronizing coo. “Good Boy!”

“Fuck you, Bishop.” She spat the curses over his shoulder, not turning her gaze away from Casavir. Casavir was surprised that she beat him to reprimand Bishop, and about the words that came out of her beautiful melodious voice. It was such a vulgar phrase from a beautiful thin mouth.

“I would rather someplace warmer and more comfortable, ladyship. But your wish is my command.” Bishop posed in a mocking bow, Casavir saw. Bishop almost looked like a mocking imitation of a statue of Mara, hands thrown wide.

Hildr pointedly ignored Bishop and his vulgar remarks. She was not in the mood for his games right now. Casavir was blushing she saw. Hopefully not for hearing me speak like that. He must be upset about all of it happening right there, Bishop suggesting sex in a barrow of all places.

She cupped Casavir’s face in both hands. “I will be back soon, my knight. I promise. Please stay here and stay ready?” She pulled him down slightly and pushed her forehead against his, smearing blood on both of their faces in the process.

He reluctantly agreed. He would gladly do whatever his lady asked of him. He had made that promise to her, and he meant to keep it to her no matter what else happened. No matter the cost to himself. Some small part of him enjoyed that she would be that close to him, and he was elated that he could feel her warm sweet breath on his face.

He resolved to explore the area while he waited for them, but quickly exhausted the small chamber he was in, as well as the cavern at the entrance. He would not loot the graves of the good people who were interred here. He instead pulled out a small notebook and began to sketch absentmindedly. Before long he realized that he was drawing his lady, as he had seen her at the grand crystal ball with gold in her hair, and glowing in the light of the candles. Even as a rough sketch, she was captivating.

It almost sounded like she was calling out to him from the pages of his notebook. It took him a few moments to realize that it was actually his lady who was calling for him. He quickly stowed his notebook and ran following the sound of her voice.

He finally found her and Bishop in a small side chamber. Hildr was kneeling beside and crying over the weak ranger. Bishop was laying on his back, his shoulder covered in blood, and an arrow shaft protruding from the front of his shoulder. There was a considerable pool under and around Bishop already, and it looked like it was slowly growing.

“Casavir! CAS! There you are! It’s Bishop! He… he took an arrow through his shoulder. Please help him!” She sounded desperate in her desire to help her companion.

Casavir could tell that she was frantic and close to tears, and he wanted nothing more than to make sure that those tears in her eyes never fell. _No matter what it takes. I will do anything for her. Anything._

“Easy, ladyship. I am right here. I just need your help working the arrow through, as well as a little rest.” He was putting on a display of strength and reaching up to try and touch her cheek with his injured arm. He was not able to move too much without groaning in pain, but Casavir figured that Bishop was trying to not look too weak, even when injured, in front of him. 

“Bishop you are burning up. I will take care of the arrow, but please let Cas heal you.” She was reaching down to stroke Bishop’s cheek. It was a tender display to see how much his lady could care for this ranger. 

“Fine. Get me something to bite down on, Princess. If it wouldn’t hurt too bad, I would request your fist and I would kiss it better afterwards.” He was weakly playing with her hair. Bishop was fading fast, as Casavir saw it. Bishop may still be trying to reassure Hildr, but it was obvious that he was getting weaker, and Hildr could almost certainly tell. The pool of blood under Bishop was still slowly growing.

Hildr found a bone nearby, and eased it into Bishop’s mouth as she rolled him more onto his back and laid his head on her lap. “Brace yourself, Bishop.” In the next breath she pushed the arrow deeper through Bishop’s shoulder and broke it in half, pulling the arrowhead free. She looked down into his eyes, and wanted nothing more than to kiss the pain away from his features, but for now she would have to make do with stroking his cheek, and holding his good hand. Distantly she noticed that he was playing with his ring he had given her the night of the ball. It was still on her finger, and she never removed it. She looked pleadingly at Casavir.

He may not like this ranger for a myriad of reasons, but for his lady, he would do whatever it took to make her happy and put her at ease. He knelt down next to the two of them and clapped both hands around Bishop’s shoulder and cast a few restoration spells, despite Bishop’s protestations.

Hildr held Bishop for long moments, with his head still on her lap, looking down into his eyes. She looked happy to have him back at least, and Bishop was growing stronger by the moment. She was rubbing his cheek tenderly, and he still played with the silver ring on her finger. Casavir waited as long as he could tolerate before breaking up the tender moment. “Did you find it, my lady?” He saw her confused look. “The horn that we came here for. Do you have it?”

She shook her head sadly. “Someone was already here and took it. Here.” She handed him a folded letter as she helped Bishop up, and rose herself. “We need to go.”

They quickly and quietly were back on their horses and riding towards Morthal. For once, Hildr did not mind Bishop’s hands all over her, even if it was not as enthusiastic as earlier. She even made sure to hold both of his hands in hers when she was guiding Mist with her knees instead of the reins. She was just happy to have both of them with her again. She would never admit it to them, but after their conversation that morning, and how Bishop was acting already, she was worried that Casavir would have left their merry little band already. She had not entirely expected Casavir to still be there when she called for him to help Bishop. The trip would have been emptier without him, and she probably would have lost Bishop as well.

~~~~~

After a few days of easy riding, they eventually made it to Riverwood. Hildr was happy to be back in Whiterun hold, and in the warm lush areas of Skyrim. Solitude may be beautiful, but it was too cold for her tastes. She was happy to not have to wear her heavy cloak and gloves while in the saddle or asleep under the stars. The fact that there was also prey in abundance here was also helpful. Most nights Bishop was able to bring back a rabbit or goat for them, and Casavir turned out to not be a bad cook, even over an open fire.

She was happy to have the both of them with her, if for no other reason than it made for easier travel. With three they could split the nightly watch more, and everyone was able to get more sleep. _And with three of us, that means that there is always someone for me to fall asleep against. It made for much better and much more comfortable sleep. Bishop even seemed to sleep better on the nights that he slept beside me_. 

When Bishop didn’t insist on riding behind her and making a show of being that close to her, or walking beside her with his hand protectively on her calf, he would run ahead and scout and hunt for them with Karnwyr. She had offered to let him take Mist to ride ahead, but he always refused her. Hildr wasn’t sure if it was because it meant that she would have to walk, or because Casavir would probably offer to let her ride behind him on Justice. She wasn’t sure, but she didn’t mind.

When Bishop wasn’t hovering around her, Casavir would ride alongside her talking with her if she wished. He was well versed in a number of different subjects, and knew a fair number of songs and poems by heart. The love poems were her favorite, but she would never tell him that. She wanted to see if he would notice, and how long it would take. _Will he blush and refuse me when he realizes? I hope not. That would take all the fun out of it. And I will miss the sound of his rich bass voice._

They hadn’t really discussed their plan for what they would do by the time they made it to Riverwood. When they finally arrived, Hildr attempted to set them to different tasks, but that didn’t work as well as she would have hoped. Bishop was only too happy to be back at The Sleeping Giant Inn, where she had first met him so long ago now. Bishop pushed past her and walked straight over to the bar and Orgnar. Had she not known better she would have thought the pair of them long-separated lovers finally reunited, with Bishop all but rushing to Orgnar’s arms. Casavir at least stuck by her side.

With the bartender occupied, Hildr turned to the only other person in the inn. A straw-haired older woman, keeping back away from everyone, and seemingly watching everything that happened in the room.

“Excuse me, ma’am. I was wondering if I would be able to rent the attic room?” She used her sweetest and most confident tone she could muster. That was what the letter had said, but she couldn’t see any stairs that would have taken her to the attic.

“We don’t have an attic room, but you and your man can stay in the one on the left.” She led them both over to a small room with a single bed and left once Hildr paid. 

Closing the door, Hildr turned to Casavir. “Wasn’t that what the note had said? The attic room at The Sleeping Giant Inn in Riverwood?” He had already retrieved the letter from the notebook in his pack, and confirmed that was what was written. They were both so startled that they had not had time to contemplate the insinuation, your man.

“Well, since we are here, we may as well restock our supplies.” She dropped her saddle bags and her pack on the bed and set about organizing what supplies they still had between the two of them. Bishop carried only the barest of essentials, so it was not like he would need much of anything or have anything of much value to sell.

She was getting ready to hand Casavir her pack with items to sell as well as a list of things that they still needed when the door opened again and the older woman entered the room.

“So you’re the Dragonborn I have been hearing so much about.” Hildr’s hand snapped to the ebony dagger on her thigh. Delphine’s eyes were locked on Casavir, but a quick shake of his head and a gesture to Hildr was all that it took for the woman to shift her focus. _Do I really look like a mythical nord hero?_ “I think you are looking for this. We need to talk. Follow me.” The Innkeeper handed the horn over quickly. “Alone.” She turned and walked back out of the room, leaving Hildr and Casavir to exchange glances. Hildr relaxed her hand on the dagger hilt.

Hildr quickly gave Casavir the rest of her instructions about selling what he could, and what supplies they needed. She felt a gentle hand on her bicep as she turned to follow the other woman.

“My lady, are you sure that is wise?” The worry and disapproval were both clear in his voice.

“I can defend myself just fine if it should come to it.” After a brief pause, she added, mischievously, “How is your nose, by the way?”

He blushed, remembering when she broke his nose as soon as he had approached her, and knew that she was right.

“I will let Bishop know our room is over here. Meet us back when you are done at the shops.” She was walking away as she was giving him the last of the instructions. 

Bishop was still at the bar where she had seen him last, and he had probably drained one whole tankard already.

“Our room is back there. Try not to get too drunk, Bishop.” She whispered in his ear as she wrapped her arms around him. She needed to make sure that he was paying attention, and this was the fastest way to do it. With a quick kiss on his neck she was off again.

Casavir stopped by the blacksmith to sell some of the additional weapons that Hildr had grabbed on her explorations of various dungeons, as well as jewelry, and gemstones. He had tried to object to her taking those items, but they had already left the caverns by the time that he found out about them. His protests were met with a flat stare from Hildr and laughs from Bishop. _That was probably what the ranger was doing before he got shot, trying to show off and steal more gems_. He was more comfortable selling the pelts from the animals Bishop shot for meat, even though the rabbits that Hildr had shot got them more money. She was skilled enough to usually take the rabbit through the eye when she killed one.

After a little bartering, Casavir was able to empty the pack he was given of weapons and most of the furs to sell. The blacksmith here did not have enough gold to sell the jewelry or gems that they had collected. He was getting ready to return to Hildr when he decided to check out the general store in Riverwood. He had noticed that she did not list some cooking supplies on her list of things to purchase, and figured a few extra spices wouldn’t hurt, especially if they were going to continue to live off the land. He sold the remaining items that he had been entrusted with, again until the merchant ran out of gold. He had also decided to sell a few other things that he had picked up in their travels that he no longer had a need for as well. He had made sure to keep the majority of the gold jewelry and emeralds for his lady.

He returned to the inn, the pack lighter, and their coin pouches all considerably heavier. Hildr and Bishop were both in their room, sitting on the bed, a map spread between them.

“It will be faster to cut through Helgen to get to Ivarsted from here. Otherwise, we would have to travel most of the way around the mountain before we climb it.” Hildr traced out the route she wanted to take with a finger on the map.

“Ladyship, there are going to be bandits in that ruined keep. That would always be the first place we… they would occupy in an area. Plus, with everyone avoiding it like the plague, they would be able to set up a decent sized camp. Trust me on this one, ladyship. We want to stay away from Helgen." He ran his finger over the longer route on the map

Casavir sank into the chair opposite the two of them. If they wanted him to know what the plan was, they would tell him. He had not lived in Skyrim long enough to have any real idea of the terrain or locations of the cities, besides to know some general information. There was no room on the bed for him either. In the meantime he would sit and watch his lady. 

The trip out of Riverwood was slow if steady. Bishop and Casavir both seemed to favor a cautious trudging pace. None of them were in any hurry to see if there really were bandits in Helgen already, like Bishop had said. Bishop had eventually relented and let Hildr win that argument. Hildr almost wished that she hadn’t won. The attack on Helgen, and being at the headsman’s block, was still too fresh of a memory for her. She was afraid to go back there, but she knew that there was no other way to get over her fear than to face it. _I need to face my fear. I will need to be stronger than the memories that I have of that place_. There can not be much, if anything, left of Helgen after that great black dragon attacked.

She happily walked out of the town. Her legs and back were sore from so long in the saddle, and if she was going to keep riding, she was sure she would end up with bowed legs in a few days. It felt good to walk, and Bishop seemed to appreciate not having to crane his neck to talk to her. She missed walking as much as she used to long ago, feeling the miles pass beneath her own power. Bishop was more used to walking and running all day, and she realized now why he had been so upset when she first bought Mist. 

Casavir was also happily walking beside her. She was surprised that he was so happy to walk along with them. He typically preferred to ride when he could, and had the slightly bowed ambling walk of a man more used to the saddle. On the walk from Whiterun to Riverwood, he did not sound too pleased and she thought that she heard him grumbling about being sore before too long. But he was walking closer to her now, almost as close as Bishop was, and just as possessive.

Casavir had insisted on walking beside the river for whatever reason, and Bishop, not to be outdone, insisted on flanking her other side. To protect her, they insisted that was the reason. She thought that they also just wanted to be as far as possible from each other as well. Either way, it was fine by her, she was determined to enjoy the silence. She focused on the road in front of her and tried to calm herself instead of giving into the fear that threatened to drown her. 

As they reached the Guardian Stones, Casavir presented her with a surprise. “For you, my lady.” He handed her a decent sized bouquet of multicolored wild flowers that he had gathered from his side of the path as they had walked.

“Oh Cas. They are beautiful!” She stood there for a few minutes, just admiring the beautiful bouquet that he had picked for her. When she looked up, she could see the admiration and devotion in his beautiful blue eyes. She would have to weave the flowers into a crown for him, as well as a matching necklace for her to wear. _Making him a crown of flowers like a groom? What are you thinking? His vows prevent that_. The roar of a dragon cut that idea short.

She kept a tight grip on the flowers as she drew her blade. She used her Thu’um to attack the dragon and call it down upon them. Bishop moved between the Guardian Stones and shot more arrows than Hildr had thought possible into the dragon as it circled them. She and Casavir ran in whenever the dragon landed. They hacked. Slashed. Bishop shot arrows. They fought with the desperation of those who knew what would happen if they failed. It was a short but intense fight. When they were done, the dragon lay just off the path to Helgen.


	5. Broken Flowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge shout out to Sharis and her fic "The Paladin and The Dragon" for the inspiration and support. This was the first chapter that I ever wrote, so sorry if it seems a bit redundant at parts.

_Well, here we go again._ Hildr saw the ribbons of lights swirling around her, and she felt the power flow into her. _Hopefully Bishop remembers enough of what happened the last time, and has a chance to warn Casavir since I didn’t._ She dropped to her knees in the long grass, still holding the flowers from Casavir, and everything went black.

Bishop finally got a chance to catch his breath. They had just taken down a dragon outside of Riverwood. He, the Paladin, and the amazing Dragonborn, but he knew that they were not done yet. As he watched the dragon disintegrate, he braced himself for what was coming next. He weighed his options. He could dash to Hildr’s side to hold her as the dragon’s soul rushed into her and to be there for her like he had at the Whiterun attack, or he could keep the Paladin from making the whole ordeal much, much worse. His eyes shot to Casavir and he knew he did not have much time left. Casavir would have seen her fall by now, and Bishop knew that this fool would do whatever brave display it would take to make the Dragonborn better. _Casavir would end up making everything worse just to feel better for trying. Damn Paladin, I shouldn’t have let him tag along._

Bishop ran to her side just a moment before the Paladin got there, and cradled her in his arms. The flowers that Casavir had given her lay crushed in the dirt around her. _She must have held them as she fought._ “Don’t touch her!” he growled when he saw the glowing ribbons of a healing spell that Casavir prepared to cast.

“You can not mean that.” Casavir sounded incredulous. 

“I can, and I do! Don’t try to heal her. Just… trust me on that.” 

“But she is hurt! Why else would she fall like that?!” Casavir let the spell end as he noticed the Ranger grow more protective of the Dragonborn, whom they were both kneeling over. Casavir even thought he heard Bishop growl like a wolf. 

Bishop sighed, annoyed that the now limp Hildr had obviously not told her new traveling companion much about what she was, or how it affected her, or that if she did that Casavir wasn’t paying attention to what she said. While her name, Battle, may have been appropriate for the fighter’s spirit and the fire that was inside of her, but, at times like this, it didn’t seem to ring as true.

“Did you see what just happened? Not ‘did you feel the relief that we had won,’ or ‘the flesh appeared to melt from the Dragon in a display of pretty light.’ Did you see what **actually** happened?”

Casavir looked at Bishop stunned. _Of course I had seen what happened! This brave Nord woman, my lady, had stood close to the dragon’s body, and the lights had enveloped her._ It was that moment that he had realized that he was safe, and had checked to make sure both of his comrades were still standing. It was also when he had seen Bishop run to Hildr like a madman as she fell, finally dropping the flowers that he had given her before the dragon attacked, and when he knew that she must have been hurt.

Bishop let out a deep sigh to answer Casavir’s silence. “It is something that happens to her after she kills a dragon. When the dragon’s soul goes into her. I was there the first time it happened, fighting by her side. I stayed with her after that first battle, while she recovered.” He stopped giving the Paladin a long look. “Whatever you do, do not try and heal her. Understood?”

Casavir gave Bishop an appraising look, but after a minute nodded. He was still confused as to what would happen to the mighty Dragonborn that would have this savage ranger so out of sorts, but he dropped the matter for now. He figured that the healer from Whiterun must not have been one of the priests from the temple, since a Paladin was otherwise unheard of in Skyrim, and had done something to his gentle lady, hurting her instead of healing her. He resolved that he would take a risk and heal her while Bishop was not looking. He had to do whatever he could to help the innocent and those in need. Surely she was both right now. 

Bishop reached down and picked her up gently in a bridal style hold, despite Casavir’s growl at him touching her. “The only choice that we have right now is to take her back to her home and to look after her while this episode passes. I am sure that Lydia would not mind having company for a while, even if it includes you, oh holy Paladin.” He stood and looked at Casavir, while adjusting his hold on Hildr. “If it means that much to you, I am sure that you will get a chance to carry her too, your holiness.” With a wink and a smirk, he was off at a brisk pace, with his wolf close at his heels. Casavir had no choice but to follow.

The city was in sight when Bishop stopped for a minute and gently laid Hildr down in a patch of soft grass and fragrant wildflowers by the side of the road. He knelt over her and rubbed her cheek tenderly before turning to Casavir. “You can carry her from here, right? I can run ahead of you and get things prepared for when we get to her house.” He took her sword and sword belt, along with Hildr’s dagger while speaking to the Paladin.

Casavir could tell that the idea of another man touching Hildr did not sit well with Bishop, but since Bishop had refused to let him heal his lady to try and help her, and Bishop was now winded under the effort of carrying her for such a distance so quickly, Bishop did not have the luxury of a choice. Casavir could not deny that he had not liked the idea of this ranger carrying her either, but since Bishop had been with her longer, it would figure he knew some of what his lady would need right now.

He nodded in agreement to the arrangement and slowly stooped down to cradle her in his arms. _Gods but she feels so light and frail._ If he had not seen her in action, he would not have believed that this woman was the mighty Dragonborn herself. _If she had not hit me, I would not believe she was a warrior either_. He looked down at her gentle face, and immediately wished that he had not. She looked so peaceful, and he hoped that she was asleep, enjoying beautiful dreams.

He looked up to see that the Ranger was definitely out of earshot, and he whispered down to her, “Do not worry, my lady, I will heal you.” He rubbed his thumb along her arm, wishing that he could will her back to him at that moment.

He waited to get down the steep hill before casting a gentle healing spell, and knew as the golden ribbons enveloped them both that something was wrong. Her eyes immediately opened, and she first let out a gasp.

“Cas! Stop.” She begged weakly between gasping breaths. He immediately stopped in his tracks, worried that it was the movement she was asking him to stop. He looked down and noticed then that her emerald green eyes were pained. He instantly stopped his spell, and watched her angelic face relax. “Bishop not …?”

“He told me, my lady, but I did not believe him. I am sorry if I have hurt you.” He blushed, suddenly aware that he was holding her tight against his chest. “Would you like me to set you down?” he asked, loosening and adjusting his tight protective hold on her.

“No. Please… not sure... could walk.” She did not have any of her strength back yet, but she reached up and gently touched his face. “I think… used to this.” She giggled lightly, and nestled her head against his strong shoulder. He inhaled a wave of her rose scent, mixed with the sweat of battle, and the sweet smell of long grasses. “Where to?” she breathed the question, not even bothering to look anywhere but up at the Paladin’s face. Before she could hear Casavir’s response, she was back out, this time safe and comfortable in his strong arms.

He prayed the rest of the way to Whiterun that his lady would forgive him for his actions, and that she would not tell Bishop what he had done. He met the ranger outside of the city gates, and if he suspected anything, the ranger never gave voice to these suspicions.

Bishop held out his arms, wishing to take the precious package back from the Paladin, but was met with a guarded look, and a tight shake of Casavir’s head. Bishop shot the Paladin a dirty look as he realized that Hildr was more upright in his arms, and it looked like her hand had been on his cheek, or her arm around his neck. _Can’t he follow even a simple direction to keep her safe?_ He burned with hatred of the man, but knew that now would not be the time. Once they were in the walls, but before they reached Breezehome, he confronted him.

“You tried to heal her.” It wasn’t a question; it was an accusation leveled at him in a calmly angry tone.

“Yes,” Casavir admitted ruefully, “and I see why you warned me against it.”

“Good, but don’t tell Lydia, or she will have both of our hides.” He warned, as he reached for the door to a small home, right on the main street by the gate.

Casavir nodded, wondering who this Lydia was and why he should be worried of her wrath.

Bishop swung open the door, and called out “Oh Lydia!” in a sing-song voice meant to imitate Hildr.

“Yes, my Thane?”

Casavir heard the call as a young woman emerged from a room at the top of the stairs.

Her face dropped as she took in the sight. She obviously was upset to see her Thane in a stranger’s arms, and Casavir began to worry just how protective this woman was going to be of his lady. Bishop obviously seemed to be cautious around her, so she must be a mighty warrior.

Bishop pulled the door shut behind them, breaking the moment of tense silence in the small home. He cleared his throat, trying to distract her from the dagger at her waist. “Oi Lydia, did you miss us that much, darling?” When she hesitated, he sighed “Yeah, another Dragon attack. This time it was outside of Riverwood, and I figured it would be easier and safer to bring her here.”

She descended the stairs. “Of course.” She had said it gently, but still did not take her eyes off of her Thane, or was it the man standing awkwardly and holding her? “Have you told the Jarl? Of course not, Ranger, he probably does not know that you are still in Skyrim, much less still at the Dragonborn’s side, does he?” She eyed Bishop with a sly smile. “Very well. I shall go and let him know about Riverwood. I trust you can get Hildr settled.” She eyed Casavir with a knowing grin, “If this one will let her go, that is.” With that she winked at Casavir, causing him to blush, brushed past the both of them, and was off.

Bishop again silently demanded Hildr be returned to him. Casavir relented, and followed Bishop up the stairs. He wanted to see that his lady was safe and well-tended. Bishop reached the top of the stairs, turned to the right, and kicked open the doors to what turned out to be his lady’s chambers.

He laid her gently on her bed, in a move that surprised Casavir. He had known Bishop for some time, but had never seen him be this kind or gentle with a single soul before. Casavir approached nervously when he saw Bishop remove his lady’s armor, and decided he would help. Bishop handed him the armor as he removed them from her limp and yielding frame. Her boots, bracers, leather skirt, corset, and pauldron were delicately removed and placed carefully on the trunk in her room to be cleaned later. When Casavir thought they were done, he was appalled to see the Ranger begin to remove her flowing shirt, and fitted trousers.

“BISHOP!” He roared. Scandalized that the Ranger would be so forward with a woman who was not conscious. “What do you think you are doing with her? Do you have her consent for such an act!?”

“Why, would you rather do it yourself?” the ranger asked with a mischievous grin, watching Casavir blush a deep crimson red. Bishop finally removed the golden circlet from her head and placed it on the bedside table, making sure she was arranged comfortably. “Fine. If Lydia decides that it would be better, she can do it herself. Happy?” he asked, covering Hildr with her furs and blankets, before moving from her bedside. 

Casavir nodded. “In the meantime, would you care to tell me what in Oblivion is going on, and how you know that she is going to be okay?” He dared not take his eyes off of her delicate form seemingly peacefully in the bed for fear that she would not be there when he looked back.

“I told you I saw this happen before. We just need to wait it out and she will be back on her feet soon enough. After the first Dragon she killed at the watchtower, she absorbed the soul, and passed out. Much like she did this time. All of us who were there made it back up to the Jarl to be questioned about what had happened. When the Jarl was finally satisfied, he sent the court mage to try and heal her. She screamed when his spells touched her, and fell back into my arms.” He seemed to emphasize that last part to Casavir. “We decided to see if resting would help. When we approached the city, we heard the Greybeards call for someone, most likely her. Jarl Balgruf was happy to see the Dragonborn, he did not like a bandit at the Dragonborn’s side, but he permitted me to stay and watch over her. Two full days passed with her still not waking. Once she finally awoke on that third day, there was something different about her, and we knew that she would need to go to the Greybeards. We suspected that she had the soul and will of a dragon now, and that she would need their help to understand what was happening to her, as well as instruction on what she would need to do.” Bishop stopped abruptly. Casavir could see how hard this story was to relate, and he was grateful that the Ranger was finally filling him in on all of it.

“Go on.” Casavir urged, after a long moment, still not breaking his gaze from Hildr laying there in her bed.

Bishop shot him a heated look, not that Casavir saw it. “They said that there was a problem. She is indeed the Dragonborn, but she is not strong enough to save us all yet. She was able to pass all of the tests that they put before her. She could learn new words of power in the dragon language quickly enough,” he could tell the Paladin was lost, “the shouting thing that she does.” Casavir nodded, understanding what he meant. “It is easier for her to absorb the understanding or whatever it is that the Greybeards can give her, but she needs to be strong enough to absorb the souls from the dragons. This,” he motioned over his shoulder at her exhausted, broken form, “is supposed to be temporary, according to them. They don’t know how long it is going last, but the fate of the world rests on her getting stronger. They warned me against letting anyone heal her again in the aftermath, and I am certain that you now see why. We were on our way back to get more information about her condition from the Greybeards when this happened. Care to explain your experience with healing her?”

“She only asked me to stop when she realized I was trying to heal her. She said that she was still weak, but she...” He blushed, ashamed at the memory of how gentle and forgiving she had been of him, even after he had caused her such pain.

“Yeah.” An uncomfortable silence grew between the two men as they stood there on the landing. “I’ll take first watch over her.” Bishop announced. He turned on his heel and strode back to Hildr’s bed, kicking off his boots and lounging beside her on the bed instead of kneeling in front of her as he had previously. Casavir watched as Bishop gently brushed the hair from his lady’s face.

“C’mon, Princess, come back to us. Back to me.” Casavir could hear the ranger whisper to her silent form, as Karnwyr curled up at the foot of the bed. “C’mon, Princess. Please.” Bishop was leaning dangerously close to Hildr, and would have been able to kiss her if he had moved any further down towards her. Bishop pulled her left hand across her chest, and played with the ring on her finger.

Casavir loudly cleared his throat, uncomfortable with such an intimate display happening before him as if he were not there, to say nothing of it happening to an unconscious woman he cared for and would have wanted as his own. Bishop shot him a dirty glare.

“Lydia’s room is on the other side of the stairs if you are looking for a warm bed. Or else you can make use of a chair or bench downstairs if he would rather.”

Once Casavir finally understood what Bishop was implying, he could feel the blush rising in his cheeks, but he was unwilling to leave the ranger alone in a bed with his lady, especially in this state. He looked around at the landing he was on, and melted into one of the chairs there, finally conscious of how exhausted he was.

Bishop shot him another dirty look before returning his attentive gaze to the woman next to him on the bed. “ **Please, Princess. Please come back to me** . I will do anything for you. Anything.” He attempted to get as comfortable as he possibly could with that prude of a Paladin watching him from the landing. They had never gotten along before, but for his princess, he would consider trying at the very least. He resolved to plait her bronze hair when she awoke and add any flowers that she wished to her long tresses, even if he had to climb the Throat of the World to get them for her. He would do whatever he could to make her happy again. _I wish I had another ring or some other jewelry of mine to give her._ He would even consider being friends with the Paladin for her, no matter how much he hated the idea.

Lydia returned later that afternoon with reports that she had spoken with the Jarl, and his men were on the way to reinforce the small town in the shadow of the mountain. She also had brought plenty of food and ale, since now there would be some real company in Breezehome for the first time, well ever, she admitted reluctantly. She offered Casavir her room, letting him know that she still had a place up at Dragonsreach, and would be staying there until her Thane recovered. After Lydia left, Casavir could hear Bishop laughing gently, having correctly called that Lydia would make herself scarce while Hildr was here with not one, but two male visitors, while still trying to play the good hostess.

After a few more hours, Bishop finally left Hildr’s side, if reluctantly. He needed to go out for air, he said. Casavir raced to her side, hoping it meant that she was awake. To his dismay she was still asleep, but he dropped to his knees by her side nonetheless, and gently brushed her hair away from her face, curling it behind her ear. _What was it Bishop had said before?_ “My lady, come back to us.” _Come back to me. Akatosh, Stendarr, Arkay, Mara…please let her come back to me_. He lost track of how many times he repeated his silent prayer while he knelt there, each time growing more and more desperate. As if the Gods finally had answered him, he heard her stir gently as she awoke.

“Cas?” She cooed gently, while reaching out to rub his tawny cheek. He took her hand in his before she could reach him. He kissed the back of her hand and tried to place it back on the bed, but she persisted. 

“I am here, my Lady, and here I will remain as long as you will have me.” He took a deep breath as he looked in her eyes and the smile lines at their corners. “Please forgive me, my lady, I did not mean to hurt you earlier. If I had known, I…”

“Shhh.” Her fingers were on his lips silencing him. “None of that now. What is done is done, and with the best of intentions, I am sure.” She stared into his crystal blue eyes, too bright in his tawny face, as she gently rubbed her thumb along his cheek, from the high strong cheekbone the corner of his plump mouth. After a moment it hit her that he was kneeling on the floor beside her in the bed. He was not as forward as Bishop undoubtedly was in waiting for her to awake by lying next to her in bed. Not that she minded Bishop’s incredibly forward attitude, but she was sure it had scandalized more than one of the Jarl’s household to find them like that while she was afflicted with this reaction for the first time. She was sure that Casavir had been scandalized as well.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather…?” her question trailed off as she looked over to the space beside her in bed. “I am not asking anything of you, and would not take advantage of you, but I fear that-” she motioned to him kneeling in all his armor on the bare floor “-cannot be comfortable.” She could see a deep crimson blush start to overtake him as he quickly looked away. He couldn’t believe she had offered that and was abashed that she had made such an audacious, if appreciated, offer to him.

“Consider it my penance, my lady. After not listening to the Ranger and hurting you, I feel that this would only be right.” He may have blushed, but inwardly, his heart swelled and leapt _. Could she have really known that this was what I have desired since I held her close at the ball? No, there was no way that she could have known about that. Even if she did, my vows prevent it._

“If you are sure. Would you help me up then? Or would you rather watch over me?” She tried to sit up, leaning heavily into him. Suddenly, lying next to her did not seem like that bad of an option. In her bed next to her he could have at least controlled how close he was to her. He was only too aware of her delicate form leaning in to him, and the view of her loosened and half open shirt was not helping him keep his vows. It took a great deal of restraint to stop from reaching out and pulling her as tight as he could against himself.

“My lady, I think it would be better if you stayed in your bed. The Ranger and I can take care of you until you are stronger.” He managed to stop her from standing, and she seemed happy enough to sit on her bed with his one hand on her hip, and his other supporting her back. She stopped suddenly and tensed against his touch.

“Wait! You brought me to Whiterun!? Was this Bishop’s idea? Who all knows that I am here!?” Her grogginess fled her in a rush. She was panicked and wild-eyed now. 

Casavir held up his hand in a defensive motion, partially trying to stem the flow of questions that barreled out of her, and also because he did not want his time with Hildr to be over just yet. Thankfully she did not move from where he had held her just a moment ago. He also did not feel like facing Bishop at this moment, certain that the ranger would be upset he was not there for Hildr to wake up. He glanced to the door, and glanced back, relieved that Bishop was not there waiting just yet.

“Yes, we are in Whiterun, my lady. Yes, it was the ranger’s idea. The other woman, Lydia, knows that we are here and spoke with the Jarl for reinforcements for Riverwood.” He responded in a half-whisper so that his voice would carry to her alone.

Hildr groaned from her position on the bed, and turned slightly to face him. “Can we just run away now? Just you and I, Cas. I am certain that I could walk, and if you could carry me out of the gates, we may be able to make better time. Please? I so do not want to deal with this right now.” She struggled to get out from under Casavir’s repositioned grip and to stand, but he would not budge. She fought desperately with him to get up. _What has her so afraid of being in her own home? Was it something that I should fear as well? No, I will be strong for her, and I will not let whatever it was that she fears harm her_.

“My lady, what is wrong? Whatever it is, I swear I will protect you.” He tried with all of his might to get her to relax under his grasp, but she did not seem to even notice him rubbing her back. She continued to fight with his hand on her hip holding her to the bed.

“It’s nothing wrong. Well, not wrong per se.” Bishop was leaning in the doorway, smirking at the both of them. “She just knows that her shield-brothers are in the city, and will want to catch up. You feeling up for a real party, Paladin, not some sissy ball? It should be a roaring good time.” He guffawed at his own joke, as Hildr groaned.

“I am guessing you are partially responsible for this?” She had relaxed slightly, seemingly in defeat.

“Yeah, maybe.” He straightened from his position in the doorway and shrugged. “But you know how I enjoy teasing those little puppies up there.”

 _Dear Hircine, please tell me he doesn’t know yet._ Lucky for Hildr it seemed that Bishop was only making a joke about how the members of the Companions dressed, in their distinctive wolf armor, as well as how they moved like a pack. She would not be the one who let their secret out. She had promised Farkas when she found out at her trial.

“Very well.” She looked at Casavir questioningly, and rubbed his hand that was still on her hip. “Did you fill your whole turn in watching me? I fear I may need some help getting ready for tonight. And from the look of it, so do you. You, however,” she pointed at Bishop, “need to wait on the other side of the door.”

“As you wish, princess. May I suggest a dress for tonight? With the mead and ale that will be flowing tonight, you are going to need to be able to relax and move freely.” Bishop had a wicked grin on his face right before the doors to her room clicked shut.

Hildr took the meaning behind the words, as well as the innuendo, and reluctantly agreed. She knew that her shield-brothers and shield-sisters would be in high spirits tonight, and they would want to hear all of the feats that she had done since last she feasted with them. _Considering that it involves two dragon fights, I am sure that we are going to have more than enough to feast about. And knowing how Bishop feels about me, he is going to want to try and bed me again tonight._

“How much do you know about the companions, Casavir? I guess we should start there, to get you ready for tonight.” She swung her feet off the side of the bed, and sat with Casavir kneeling almost between her knees. She gave him a devious smirk and wiggled her eyebrows. She enjoyed watching the deep crimson blush overtake him. He shuffled back on his knees as far as he was able, and Hildr cheekily used his shoulder to pull herself up to her feet. She swayed as she stood, but fell before she could take more than one step.

She woke a moment later, cradled in Casavir’s arms, looking up into his terrified eyes. “Good thing it was you in here. Bishop wouldn’t have swept me off my feet like that.” She giggled at the comment, and wiggled her toes. She reached her hand up to his face in an attempt to wipe the worried furrow from his brows. She cleared her throat. “As much as I would love to stay like this for a bit, I think I should get ready.”

Casavir blushed an even darker red, if that was possible, but the look in his eyes relaxed and he helped her back up onto the bed in front of him. “Are you sure that you would not rather dress in privacy, my lady? It would be inappropriate for me to stay here. My vows…”

She rolled across the bed, and stood on the other side. She rummaged through the chest at her feet for any of her dresses. The green one from the ball wouldn’t do for tonight.

“Given that you have already saved me from hurting myself in my own home, I think it would be a strong enough reason to have you here with me. As for your vows, you don’t have to watch if you don’t wish, but I won’t tell if you do.” She gave him a wink over her shoulder, wondering if he knew how much she enjoyed watching him blush. Bishop would have no qualms about watching her, and would probably be more brazen about helping her out of her clothes. _If anything, him being reserved is very sweet, and the blushes only make it more fun. Depending on how tonight plays out, I am sure we could have a very good time_. She hoped that he did not see the blush on her face as she turned away with the idea of having that kind of fun with Casavir.

“Do you have a favorite color? Either one that you like, or for women to wear?” She asked him innocently enough. She did want to know, but teasing him was also fun. She gestured to the dresses that she had laid out on her bed. 

“I do not have a favorite color, my lady. As for your dress for tonight, I would not even know where to start.” That last part was true. He had never had time to worry that much about the color of his own clothing, and would have even less of an idea about women’s clothing. He stood there stoically watching her, in case he needed to rush and catch her again. 

Hildr held up the dress that Bishop probably had in mind for her to wear, and it would not work for tonight. True there was nothing wrong with it, but it was exceedingly low cut. While her shield-brothers wouldn’t be shy tonight, especially given how Aela always dressed, it wouldn’t be appropriate to dress like that in front of Casavir. She chose a more modest blue dress, and a clean shift. She got ready to strip off her clothes without a second thought, before she remembered her company.

“You may want to sit on the bed, and look at the other wall, unless you do intend to watch me.” She swayed her hips as she hooked her thumbs in her waistband and moved to slide her pants off.

He closed his eyes, and quickly sat on the bed facing the wall before opening his eyes again. He cleared his throat so that he could not hear all of the rustling of her removing her clothing. “So, what should I expect tonight, my lady? You seemed to know what was coming, if the ranger was correct.” He was doing his best to relax and be conversational, given the circumstances.

“Bishop,” she said softly. She had stopped moving while she corrected him, and the silence was heavy in the small bedroom. “His name is Bishop.” Casavir could hear the soft rustle of clothing falling to the floor and her gentle movements resumed as she freed herself from her dirty and soiled clothes after she corrected him.

Casavir sat in silence before realizing that she was waiting for him to apologize and re-ask the question. “I am sorry, my lady. Bishop had implied that you knew what to expect tonight.” _And you had seemed terrified when you awoke to find you were in Whiterun. Could it really be just from the Companions?_

She sighed and he noticed her clean shift be pulled from his periphery. Were it not for his vows, he would have given anything to get a good look at her in this moment. He was still a man after all, but he knew that he could not, would not, dishonor her in this way. _Not now_.

“Well, there will be a feast. As much as you can eat, roasted there in the hall, and mead and ale will flow like a river. I know that you don’t drink, but you may need to have a few tonight. Water will not be as abundant tonight, and I am sure none of them drink tea or milk.”

He watched the dress receding from his side of the bed as she pulled it towards her, and he gulped. Hopefully she attributed the gulp to what she had just said.

“There will be merrymaking, and knowing some of the companions there may be dancing. Everyone will want to hear stories of battle.” She smiled to herself, it was her name after all. “They may even ask you to tell a story or two as well, since you are with me, as well as a mighty warrior in your own right.”

Casavir was surprised when Hildr fell back onto the bed beside him. His first response was one of worry, but she had her hands above her head and looked relaxed beside him. He relaxed and kept his gaze on her. Her red hair was splayed across the bed underneath her while she laid there next to him. _It would be so easy to just… No!_

She rolled onto her side to get a better look at him. “You may want to leave your sword and armor here.” He opened his mouth to object, but she continued without stopping. “Farkas can be a bit of a prankster. I have seen notes that were left out between him and his brother, Vilkas, about such things as greased sword hilts. Unless you would be up for some playful fun like that, leaving your sword here would be prudent. There will be plenty of other weapons in the hall, so if something should happen, you will not need to worry. I will also be unarmed, as well as Bishop.”

Casavir thought back to the hand to hand practice with Hildr in the early morning light, after his prayers, and found it hard to imagine Hildr completely unarmed at any moment in her life. “I am sorry, my lady, but I do not believe for a moment that you are ever truly unarmed, even if you do not have so much as a dagger on your person.” He gave her a small genuine smile.

It was her turn to blush at such a sweet and sincere compliment. She had never expected to get such a compliment in all of her life, and to hear it from her knight meant it was that much sweeter. “Thank you, Cas. You have no idea how much that means to me.” She could have kissed anyone else who would have said that to her. 

She curled herself up to sit next to him on her bed, still looking at him. “And if I may be so bold, you may want to change and get ready yourself. You can leave your stuff in here. I will let Bishop know to get ready as well.” She left him no chance to argue against staying in her room with her for the night since as soon as she was done talking she slipped out the door and was gone. Casavir let out a deep breath and relaxed for the first time since he rushed in to kneel by her side.

Hildr found Bishop right where she had figured he would be, sitting in one of the chairs on the landing at the top of the stairs. It would not have surprised her in the least to know that he had been waiting for her to wake up from this seat. He seemed to be happily slumped in his seat, and watched her with a hungry grin.

“Are you ready for me, ladyship?” He winked and stood up, waiting for her embrace. She walked past him to Lydia’s room, and pulled him by the hand after her.

Once the door was closed behind them, Bishop pulled her close and kissed her deeply. She figured that this second round of her condition had weighed heavily on him, but hadn’t expected it to be this bad. _But waking up with Casavir at my side probably didn’t help his sour mood_. She wrapped her arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. He finally broke away from her lips, and nuzzled her neck, instead of kissing her again. He was rubbing circles with his thumbs on her hips.

“You had me so worried, wench.” His voice was unsteady, but if it was from the kiss or something else, Hildr couldn’t say. “I almost prayed to the divines to give you back to me. I…I…” _I love you, Princess_.

She twisted the short hairs at the nape of his neck around her finger. “None of that now. You need to get ready. We are heading up to Jorvasker soon. Leave your stuff here.”

“Princess? Don’t you mean in your room?” He pulled back only a little bit to look at her. He was sure he would be the one sleeping next to her. _What could that Paladin do for her that I couldn’t?_

“No, Bishop. Here. I can come to you tonight. Keep your door unlocked.” She winked at him and slowly removed his arms from her, before slipping away from him.

“C’mon boys! Dress nice, and let’s go!” She yelled as she descended the steps. “The Companions and Jorvasker await!”


	6. Of Monsters...

Bishop pulled Hildr down onto his lap, slid a hand up her thigh, and knotted his other hand in her hair, while nipping at her neck. Her rosy scent was more intoxicating than the ale tonight. She wrapped an arm around his neck and gave his temple a quick kiss in response.

Casavir was still chatting happily in a corner with Vilkas, right where he had been since he finished eating it looked like. It warmed her heart to see that he was so relaxed and happy here. 

“Hildr. A word, now, please?” Aela was tense, Hildr could hear it in her voice.

Hildr got up quickly and followed her shield-sister out to the practice yard. She hoped this was not about anything she had done wrong today. She was worried when Aela stopped and turned hard eyes on her in the darkness.

“What are you playing at, pup? Two? You would really keep those two men with you at all times? Even I can tell you that it is a bad idea to do that. I have seen how they fought over you all night, each trying to keep closer to you when you were not telling us of your battles. If you are asking me, and I know that you are not, get rid of the dark one you were just with, and keep the blue-eyed knight. He will not do you wrong, sister.”

Hildr stood there stunned for a few moments, trying to process what the member of the circle had just said to her. She had expected a true reprimand from the woman, not some advice. She thought for a moment.

“Aela, would you like to play a game with Bishop? Well, teasing and giving him a scare may be the better way to phrase it.”

Aela crossed her arms in front of her chest and cocked an eyebrow at Hildr.

“Well, he keeps calling you all puppies in a derisive tone. I think it is based off of the armor that Farkas, Vilkas, and the others wear, or the wolf swords. I didn’t say anything to him or anyone about the blessing from Hircine, so it is not like he would know about that.”

Hildr saw a smile start to crack along Aela’s face.

“Maybe show him the blessing up at the Skyforge? I am sure that we could get him drunk enough to not completely remember what all happened. Or if it even happened. I know I have managed to get him that drunk before recently.” _Bishop has it coming_. He had been so derisive about the Companions since he found out that she was a member, and had brought him around once before. 

“Now that sounds like fun, sister. Let me tell the others, and we can give him a good show. Do you care what I say to lure him out there?” Aela had a devious glint in her eye. _Hopefully Bishop won’t be too badly hurt from all of this_. 

“No. Give me a while to get more ale in him. The only wrinkle in this plan would be Casavir. How should we handle him?” Hildr was only slightly worried, but there would be something that they could do about Casavir. _Maybe just keep him close?_

“I am sure you can find some way to keep him well occupied, sister. You do still have a bed here, in case you forgot. But I will not be needing my room for the night if you would rather.” Thankfully Aela couldn’t see her blush in the darkness, but Aela laughed anyway. “Or we can scare him too, if you feel he may benefit from it.” With that last she was gone back into the hall, no doubt to tell the rest of the circle who were still awake to see if they would want to play along.

Vilkas and Aela would for sure want to give Bishop a good scare. Neither of them had cared for him much the first time that she had brought him with her here when she stopped by after the events in Helgen. Farkas had been accepting, but as he readily admitted he had the strength of Ysgramor, while Vilkas had the smarts.

She took one last deep breath of the cool night air to steel herself before heading back into the hall.

She grinned to herself to see Vilkas and Farkas pushing another drink on a wary Casavir, and Aela pushing a few more ales on Bishop, who was only too happy to try and keep up with her. The other companions were keeping to themselves, or heading downstairs to sleep. _Casavir could probably use my help the most, but first let’s make sure that Bishop has more than enough_ _to drink. This will be a disaster if Bishop remembers anything_. Hildr came up behind Bishop and poured more ale into his tankard to make sure that he didn’t finish it too quickly. She gave his shoulder a squeeze, and nipped the top of his ear. She grabbed another drink for herself, and sauntered over to where Casavir was still trying to fend off the twins. She sat down right next to Casavir and looked at her shield-brothers. Based on the grins that they both gave her in unison, Aela had told one or both of them the plan already.

“Hildr, why won’t your companion drink with us? Would he be that rude at a party?” Farkas was being his usual fun self, trying to prod people to get them to do what he wanted. Casavir had a light rose blush. Hildr had heard him say before that he did not want to be rude to her or the Companions.

“Farkas, don’t be rude to our guest. If he is here with our shield-sister, we should treat him as we would her.” Vilkas, always the reasonable one, trying to talk people into what he wanted. It was obvious that his method was working better, since Casavir had his drink closer to his lips now.

“I am sorry that I did not think to bring any water for you, Cas. Had I known that we would be here this late into the night, I would have brought some. Or let you stay at the house.” It almost felt dishonest, but it was true, she should have done better and been a better hostess. That seemed to be the only encouragement Casavir needed to drink. The tankard was almost at his lips now. 

“My lady, you do not have to worry about me. I will be fine with drinking just a few ales.” He was flattered that she would have gone above and beyond what was necessary to make him feel more comfortable in her company. He tipped his ale up and drank deeply. He did not think that he would ever enjoy the taste of ale, but he was beginning to tolerate it at least.

While Casavir was drinking, Vilkas and Farkas shared a smirk before turning to Hildr and nodding their heads. She waved Farkas over to Bishop, sure that he would be able to talk Bishop into a few more rounds. Both of the brothers excused themselves, and went over to speak with Aela and Bishop.

“Thank you, my lady.” Casavir sighed by her side. He had moved his arm onto the back of the bench they shared, allowing her to move closer to him. “I was worried that those two would continue to push ale on me until you came to my aid. Vilkas was fine until his brother came over and spoke to him. He said something about a demonstration. Do you know what he was talking about?”

Hildr took a sip of her ale before leaning against Casavir on the bench next to her. He stiffened at her touch, but relaxed into her and wrapped his arm around her. _He ought to know some of what was about to happen, but not everything. I will not lie to him_. “Let’s just say that there may be a little… display tonight... mostly at Bishop’s expense, but you may get to see it as well.” She reached over and put her hand on his knee. “Just trust me, please, and stay close.” She gave his knee a tight squeeze.

He gave her a smile, made deeper by his drinking. “I will, my lady, and I will stay close as long as you desire me.” He gave no indication that he understood the innuendo from the fact that he stopped where he did.

Hildr smiled and drank deep. She was going to enjoy keeping him around for sure. He was always entertaining, even more so now that he had been drinking. _This would not be a common state for him, with his vows, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t enjoy it while it lasts_.

“Would you like to come outside? It is a lovely clear night out. It may not be as beautiful as Solitude, but it is still nice to see the stars. Besides, I think the fresh air may do you some good. And it is warmer here, so we can stay out there if you would rather.” She slid out from under his arm, stood up, and reached out a hand to help him to his feet. “Bring your drink. And we should probably grab Bishop, too. He was looking pretty rough last I saw him.”

Casavir pulled heavily on Hildr’s hand as he pulled himself upright, and she almost staggered into him. They were both laughing as they staggered first over to try and find Bishop, and then outside when they realized he was not still sitting at the table where Hildr had left him. It dawned on her that they were the last in the hall, and that the fun was probably about to start. She led him out the rear of the hall and out onto the patio to look out over the fields outside of the city.

Sure enough, she could see Vilkas out in the dark. She was sure that he didn’t always see his other form as the blessing that Aela did, so he probably would be acting as the guard tonight. She nodded her head towards the Skyforge and got a nod from Vilkas in response. Casavir was staring up at the sky, admiring the stars and the slow moving green lights of the aurora. He was so focused on the beauty of the sky above and before him. Hildr stopped and stared at his profile cast against the lights of the aurora and the stars in the night. A hazy backdrop of stars, as well as the green light of the aurora outlined his high sharp cheekbones and wide nose as he looked up at the stars before him. His thick lips were just barely parted, and he seemed to be starting rapturously at the sky. 

“Cas,” She ran her thumb over his cheek, and turned his face to make sure that he was focusing on her, “can you keep a secret? It is very important that it is kept.” She could tell that Vilkas was hesitating on coming over. Casavir was looking at her quizzically. His handsome face was screwed up as if he was trying to work through a puzzle. “You still trust me, right? I will keep you safe. Promise.”

“Yes, my lady. Lead, and I will follow.” There was only a slight slur to his words as well as the smell of ale as he looked at her. “I promise.” He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand as he answered her.

Her heart fluttered in her chest. She couldn’t believe her luck in finding Casavir. He was so sweet and trusting that it was almost too much for her to believe it was happening. If not for those vows of his, he would be hers, and there would be no second thoughts about it, no regrets. A few brisk steps brought them to the stairs for the Skyforge; Vilkas blocking their way.

“Are you sure this is the best idea, shield-sister? Can we trust him?” Vilkas may have liked Casavir, but it was important that none but the circle knew about Hircine’s gift. She was possibly the only exception to this currently, and that was only an accident. And there may be two more exceptions soon if everything did not go perfectly. Casavir being a Knight of the Nine would lead to big problems if he decided to take action tonight. _No, I won’t let him do anything rash. I will do whatever it takes to keep him safe._

“I trust him with my life, Vilkas.” They both turned and looked at Casavir.

“Casavir, we do not question your honor, only if we can stay in your confidence. Can you keep our secret? We know that your woman can keep it. She has for some time.” Vilkas was staring intently at Casavir, and she was grateful that Casavir met Vilkas’ gaze without hesitation or fear. 

Casavir nodded slowly. He was confused as to why there would have to be this much repetition of a single point, but something else tickled the back of his mind. _His woman? Why would Vilkas call Hildr his? Couldn’t he see that she belonged to no man? Wait… She trusts me with her life?_ Casavir looked down to where his lady stood next to him and smiled at her, a large toothy grin. 

“Excellent! C’mon!” Hildr was so excited that she was bouncing on her toes. She turned to go up the stairs, gently guiding Casavir behind her. She placed his hands on her hips, thinking that it would be innocent enough, as well as an easy way to make sure that he didn’t do anything foolish, but was surprised to feel his thumbs start to do small circles on her sides. She felt like her knees would give out if he kept this up for too long, so she placed her hands on his to still or at least slow the enticing movements.

She stopped and looked over into the Skyforge, from a spot better than halfway up the stairs. Bishop was there, staring into the forge, looking lost in thought. Her heart ached for him. He looked so lost and lonely standing there alone in the night. She almost wanted to run to him, and hold him in her arms, but it was too late for that now. She heard some rustling, and pulled Casavir closer against her back, and wrapped his arms tighter around her. She didn’t need him to alert Bishop to the fun that the circle was about to have. She wasn’t completely surprised to hear Casavir breathe deeply and sigh into her hair. Truth be told it was rather endearing. _If only there was time to really enjoy our time out here together tonight._

Casavir was glad that his lady had brought him outside. It was a truly beautiful night out, just as she had said. He was vaguely surprised that she had placed his hands on her sides, and even more so when he felt her soft hands on his. He was worried she might know the effect she had on him when she pulled him tighter against her back. He bit his lip and took a deep breath to try and fight off his lustful thoughts, but he was quickly overcome with the scent of her rose soap. He could feel himself giving in to temptation. He closed his eyes, and he imagined what life would be like with her. _Would she want me? Would she want a family with me? If she did, I will gladly give anything and everything to make it happen._ A snarling growl woke him from his waking dream.

His relaxed stance holding her became possessive immediately. He scanned around looking for the source of the danger to his lady, and immediately he saw Bishop. A moment later, a werewolf was stalking towards Bishop, quickly followed by a second. He had to do something to protect the ranger. _Bishop_. He had to do something to help Bishop, but Hildr held him firmly behind her. The second werewolf stopped just past them at the top of the stairs. He gave her a squeeze, unable to voice his concern for her or for Bishop at that moment. _I will keep her safe at all costs. Was this what she was afraid of back at her home?_

“She won’t hurt him. She only wants to scare him. We already talked about it.” Her words, murmured to him, were an answer to the unspoken question.

 _She? Wait would that mean…?_ His thoughts were still swirling. _I must have had too much to drink._ He felt himself swaying, and braced himself against the stone in front of him, his arm under his lady’s shoulder. He felt his lips gently press into her shoulder before him and he gave her shoulder a long kiss as an apology. His other arm wrapped tighter against her.

“Cas? Let’s get you home. Vilkas, can you help me with him?” Casavir felt another set of hands steady him, before he felt his lady move to loosen his grasp on her. He feebly tried to pull her back to him so that he could protect her, but she slid from his grasp completely. _No! Come back, my lady._ Surprisingly, he felt empty without her tight against him. He heard her talking with someone at the top of the stairs and felt her return to his side. He pulled her close to him, not wanting to let her go again.

Hildr smiled as Casavir wrapped his arm tightly around her, and she held him in return. Vilkas was there at Casavir’s other side, but Casavir only let the other man hold his elbow if he became unsteady. Vilkas chuckled as they walked down the stairs in front of Jorrvaskr. 

“Are you sure that he will be fine?” Hildr was only slightly nervous about what she should do about Bishop, now that Aela was giving him a proper demonstration of her full power.

“We can keep him with the other new bloods. I would have let your companion here stay in my room if you had needed it, but not the other one.” The look that Vilkas shot her around Casavir seemed to imply that he would have permitted her to stay with Casavir as well. “Aela won’t let the other one stay, and I would not let Farkas give up his room if I knew that I could talk him out of it.” 

“I doubt Bishop would be too happy with Ria or Njada mooning over him when he woke up.” _And I would not be happy with either of them thinking that they could take him from me_. She blushed at the thought, remembering how it felt to have Casavir’s hands on her, or to be pressed against his chest. _His arm around me now feels nice as well._

“Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer that?” Vilkas had a questioning look as he peered around Casavir this time. _He knows enough about me and has spent most of the night talking with Casavir. Maybe he also figures that Casavir would make a better companion for me?_

“I will be back to Jorrvaskr tonight for him. I can decide what to do then. If I need to, I will leave him in my bed there with the other new bloods, but I think I would rather have him here, especially if there is any chance that he remembers anything.” Casavir was mercifully silent for the whole walk back to her home. She rubbed his back, thankful to have him close to her. His thumb rubbing her arm in response almost made her stumble a few steps.

When they got to the house, Hildr motioned Vilkas to come in as well. 

“Can you help me get him upstairs and into bed? I am almost certain he would object to me getting him ready for bed. Would you help me, shield-brother?” She waited anxiously for Vilkas’ answer. She couldn’t leave Casavir to sleep in what he was wearing, and he would not appreciate her undressing him, no matter the reason or how closely he had been holding her on the walk back, or at the skyforge.

“Of course, whelp.” She smiled as he called her by that teasing name. It was good to know that there was at least one person in all of Skyrim who did not see her any differently since they had learned she was the Dragonborn.

“C’mon Cas, time for bed.” She cooed sweetly to him as she led him up the stairs, his hands on her hips again. Vilkas followed behind, watching the sweet display as he would a parent and child. He flashed her a knowing smirk when she led Casavir into her room, instead of the room with the smaller single bed. _Maybe Aela’s suggestion of getting rid of Bishop for Casavir was not only her idea. That or he approved of her knight. That appeared more likely, given that they had spent most of the night talking together._ _Or did Casavir confess something to Vilkas while they drank together?_ Vilkas had smiled at the two of them whenever he had seen them together, and Casavir wasn’t used to drinking. 

She left them just inside the doorway to her room. “I will be right back with Bishop. Please make sure that he stays here. If you can get him to sleep, that may be best. Help yourself to anything in the house.” She gave Vilkas a quick hug and kiss on the cheek, and was surprised when she thought that she heard Casavir let out a low growl. With that she was gone, and running back up to the Skyforge with a handful of healing potions.

Bishop was lying face down in front of the Skyforge, roughly where she had seen him last. Farkas was still standing watch, but he was himself, no longer enjoying the extra heightened senses that the beast blood brought him. Aela was gone. Hildr ran to Bishop’s side and emptied a healing potion across his back, watching the slashes knit themselves back together. She rolled him over and cleaned the wounds on his arms, legs, and face.

“My poor ranger. Bishop, what have I done?” She dressed what scratches and cuts she could not dump potions into. Farkas was there when she tried to pick him up and carry him back to her home. She was grateful for the help that her shield-brother, her first friend among the Companions, was willing to provide, but she refused to hear any of the details about what happened.

“Is Aela okay?” The question was flat and obligatory.

“Yeah, she went hunting when she was done.” Farkas sounded quiet and ashamed. He had probably watched most of the display from where he was waiting. _Unless… Farkas had at least tolerated Bishop when I had brought him with me before. Had Farkas defended Bishop at some point?_

“Good.” Hildr did not think she could face Aela right now, and did not know if she would ever want to see the woman again after this. _This was her idea of fun and a little scare was it?_

“Sorry that it got out of hand, but he should be fine, shield-sister.” He answered the questions that she dared not ask. “I did what I could. I chased her away in the end. Before it got worse.” 

“Thank you, Farkas. I hope…” She sighed and shook her head. “Farkas, can you help me get him upstairs? I can get him settled from there. You and Vilkas are welcome to take whatever you would want.”

She got Bishop up to Lydia’s room, leading him as she had Casavir, and dismissed the twins. She carefully undressed Bishop, making sure that there were no other cuts or scrapes that she had missed up at the Skyforge. His shirt was beyond mending due to what Aela had done to him. Mercifully, she seemed to have already gotten all of his wounds already. Sitting on the side of the bed, she eased him down onto his back and kissed him. She was surprised to feel him weakly holding her arms, but did not pull away immediately. His gentle touch made her feel dirty for doing this to him.

“Don’t go yet, angel.” He was pleading with her to stay with him, even after all of this. Pulling herself upright, she refused to look at him. Instead, she began to hum a lullaby to him. She held his hand on the bed, and rubbed it with both of her thumbs. It was one that she at least half remembered. It reminded her of simpler days from before… When she felt his hand go slack against hers, she got up, and let the tears finally fall.

A gentle noise had roused Casavir. It sounded like the most beautiful melody he had ever heard, and he wanted to hear more of it. He clutched his spinning head when he tried to move, but resolved to lay there and listen instead. After a few minutes the captivating humming stopped, and he heard sobbing and footsteps. Snapping his eyes shut, he pretended to still be fast asleep. Too late he had realized where he was, and that he had only his smallclothes. The footsteps stopped on the other side of the bed, and a shifting on the mattress quickly followed. A brief rustling of clothing and moving blankets preceded another series of small movements.

When he was satisfied that she was comfortably beside him, he dared to try and talk to her. “My lady…?” He knew it was just a whisper, but he needed to hear her say she was okay.

“Yeah, Cas?” Her voice was thick with tears behind him.

He rolled over in her bed, and felt her warm breath on his face. She was scrubbing her eyes roughly to get rid of any lingering tears. She looked so sad and broken right then, and Casavir wanted to wrap his arms around her to comfort her in this moment. _No. She does not know what I am…_

“Are you sure that you would not rather I sleep on the floor?” He reached for the edge of the soft blanket to free himself. “This is most improper, my lady, and…”

“I am sure.” A gentle touch of her hand had stopped all of his movements and protests. “Bishop is in Lydia’s room, and is too weak to move him much more right now. Besides,” She pulled his arm down to her, “I wouldn’t trust him to not be excessively handsy with me. You, I trust to just sleep beside me.”

“My lady, I… I am not sure that I would trust myself with that right now.” He could feel his growing excitement, and being this close to her in their current state of undress was not helping him keep his vows. _It would be so easy. I could just kiss her. No. It would be too much like before._

She ran her hand up his arm, pushing on it slightly to force him on his back, before letting her hand settle on his chest. She pretended not to hear him, or to notice the shifting of the blankets further down the bed. She laid her head on the outside of his shoulder, kissing his shoulder as she got comfortable. After a moment of feeling her warm breath, he lifted his arm so that she could slide closer to him. She lightly kissed his chest as he ran his fingers through her long hair. _I could get used to this._ He turned his head to look at her. _I could get far too used to this_. He wanted to hum a lullaby back to her, before he realized that he didn’t know any. He settled instead on murmuring love poems to her until she fell asleep in his arms, and he resigned himself to watching over her for the night.


	7. ... Memories…

When he woke up in the morning, he found himself in a small feather bed, but had no idea how he had gotten there. His head spun and his whole body ached. _I remember… I remember being attacked_. Bishop tried to piece together what all had happened last night, after Hildr had left his lap to talk to Aela. He remembered her slipping out into the night, and then Aela drinking with him before saying that Hildr wanted to talk to him up at the Skyforge.

He had been looking into the fire of the forge, thinking of how to tell her that she had his heart. He didn’t want anyone else and there would be none other for him, not ever again. _I want her. No. I need her. I need her more than I have ever even wanted anyone else_. _I thought I had heard her talking with someone one, then approaching me_. He had turned to tell her, but it wasn’t her.

There was a monster there attacking him. He was scared, and his fear stopped him from fighting back. _I was worried as I lay there bleeding. I was worried I would never see her again, and that I would die there alone. But she came back. She came back to save me. She had found me there and saved me. Again. She was his salvation, but he had hurt her._

He remembered that, even if he didn’t remember how he had hurt her. She was here, humming to him. An angel who had come to him at the Skyforge, and sang him to sleep, here in this bed. It was the best night of sleep that he had had recently, possibly ever in his life, and it was because this angel had saved him. He remembered seeing tears in her eyes before she hummed that lullaby to him. _How had I hurt her? How would I ever make it up to her? I have to, and I will do whatever it takes to make it better to her._ He got up and dressed as quick as he was able.

He walked to her room, and pushed the door open slowly, in case she was still asleep. His heart dropped at what he saw. There she was peacefully asleep with a small tender smile on her angelic oval face, but she wasn’t alone. Her head was resting on the Paladin’s shoulder, an arm across his chest, and it looked he had spent the night in that awkward half seated position with his arm around her. Casavir was watching Hildr, his free hand running through her long hair, a light rosy blush on his cheeks. Bishop slumped against the door, feeling his heart start to break. _This couldn’t be happening_. Casavir caught his eye and blushed darker, and also shook his head no _. It…it didn’t happen?_ Casavir motioned to the sleeping woman in his arms. Bishop thought he understood. _She had just slept like that, nothing else_. He felt his heart finally started beating again, and he settled himself in a chair on the landing. _I will be right here when she wakes_. And with that last thought, he fell asleep.

~~~~~

Hildr tried to wake him up by running her fingers through his hair. She was still surprised after all this time that it still felt like silk. She was glad that Casavir was at the market right now. She wanted some time to make last night up to Bishop, whatever it took to make it up to him. She could only imagine what Aela had done to Bishop to get him relaxed enough to hurt him like that, or what she had said to him to lure him up there. It did not help her sour mood when she heard that Bishop had found her still asleep in Casavir’s arms this morning. It probably didn’t help Bishop’s mood either, and that probably was the reason for him to sleep in the chair here.

“Bishop, time to wake up.” She cooed softly to him. She pressed on his thigh, trying to elicit some response. His eyes opened quickly, and while he was startled at first, his eyes softened when he saw her.

“Princess.” He started, but that was all she let him say.

“It is just you and I, Bishop. Casavir is out at the market getting supplies for our trip to Ivarsted and High Hrothgar. We figured that we would need more furs, supplies, a larger tent, and more bags to get the three of us there in one piece.” She stood up and moved to the chair across the table from him. “We figured you could use more sleep. Casavir told me that you were up this morning and fell asleep out here. I am sorry that we made plans for the three of us without you.” _And I am sorry that you saw that. At least I think I am sorry._

The silence settled around the two of them, neither one wanting to be the one to break it.

“We can move your stuff to my room if you wish, Bishop. I know that you don’t like sleeping alone when you could sleep with me. Cas…” She swallowed hard, Bishop likely had a few more reasons to hate him now, because of her. “Cas said that it was fine with him. He didn’t need to sleep with me, and he would prefer to sleep in Lydia’s room. He...” _He had whispered love poems to me as I fell asleep, and he was in the same position that I fell asleep against him in, so he probably didn’t sleep_. 

Bishop reached out and grabbed her hand across the table. “We don’t have to sleep tonight if you don’t want to, ladyship.” That devilish light was back in his eyes. _Maybe I sized that Paladin up wrong, but that is not enough to entirely redeem him. She is still mine, and I will do whatever it takes to show him that is a fact._

 _“_ Well you must be feeling better if you are going to act and joke like that. Let’s get your things moved, and then get to preparing.”

Casavir returned from the market sometime later. He was happy to see that Bishop was awake again, and preparing for their journey. Hildr had told him of how she had found him at the Skyforge last night, and while he did not like the ranger, he still felt for the poor man. _No one should have to suffer like that. I only hope that whatever scars he has are only physical_. 

Casavir was also relieved to see that they had moved his things to Lydia’s room. He had enjoyed holding Hildr in his arms all night, whispering sweet nothings and love poems to her even after she fell asleep, and stroking her long flowing hair. But he was a Paladin, he could not allow himself to give in to her no matter how badly he would want her to be his woman, or to be her man. He would keep his vows, all of his vows, for as long as he was able.

Over their evening meal, they discussed the plan for their journey. They would leave Whiterun in the morning, travel to Ivarstead, and climb to High Hrothgar after a night in the town at the base of the mountain. Once they were done with the Greybeards, they would cross to Kynesgrove to help Delphine. Casavir was not that familiar with Skyrim, but Hildr was able to reassure him it would not be that hard of travel, or at least not so bad that they couldn’t bring his white stallion, Justice, or her paint mare, Mist. Hildr was grateful that Casavir had thought to save Bishop from watching over her after a third dragon fight, and almost thought she saw a softening between the two of them. _Maybe this will work, maybe they can get along for me. Tonight will test that theory._

Casavir went to Lydia’s room after they were done for the evening. He said that he had wanted to read for a while, since she had a small collection of books, and he did not want to carry any additional weight he did not absolutely need. He selected a few volumes, and excused himself for the night. Once he had gone, and she heard the door to that room partially shut, she turned to Bishop, still sitting next to her.

“Well, Ladyship?” He straddled the bench they were sitting on, and pulled her closer against him. “Do you feel like turning in for the night, too?” He gently pushed her hair across her back and over her far shoulder, and kissed her temple. He moved his fingers from her hair and down her back slowly, and put his other hand on her thigh. She was close to giving in to him. He just had to play his cards right.

“Alright,” she said, leaning into him, “but, get the key and lock my door. I don’t want Cas…”

He turned her face to him with one finger, and kissed her before she could finish her sentence. “Of course, darling. I’ll be right up.” He gave her a playful pinch to get her moving. _Perfect. I know exactly how to make sure that puffed up, self-righteous Paladin knows that Hildr is mine, and he will hear it from her own lips._

He made sure she had climbed the stairs before getting up to get the keys. He slipped silently up the stairs after her, but before he followed her to her room, he turned to the smaller room. He popped his head in to make sure that the Paladin was still awake and reading. Bishop quickly pulled the door shut, and locked it. Casavir was locked in there for the night, and Bishop was going to make sure that Casavir knew what was happening in the other room. An evil grin on his face, Bishop crept to Hildr’s room, wanting to surprise her.

She was pacing around her room before Bishop came in. He pulled the doors shut behind him, and locked them. Before she knew it, he had her in his arms, one hand at the small of her back, holding her close, and the other hand at her neck, his thumb rubbing her jaw. Her hands were both on his chest, and she could feel his strong steady heartbeat.

“Are you nervous, sweetness?” She could feel his lips brush hers as he spoke. “I’m not your first, am I?” His voice sounded thick with concern. Like the thought hadn’t crossed his mind until now.

She shook her head, brushing her nose against his since he was so close.

“Okay.” He seemed to relax a little at that, but if it was because she knew what to expect, or something else, she could not say for sure. His thumb pressed into her jaw and tilted her head back so that he could plant kisses from her lips and down her neck. His hands moved slowly, and with a constant pressure. He began to worry the lacing at the front of her dress, as she undid the buckles on his leather cuirass. She felt her heart racing in her chest, but did her best to move slowly and deliberately. She would not be the reason that his clothes were ripped, and she didn’t want her dress to be ripped in return. She freed him of his cuirass and shirt before he managed to get the lacings on her dress.

She pulled him close before her dress fell from her shoulders. She could feel the warmth of his scarred skin against her bare shoulders. She was ready to be with him, but part of her was still scared that he wouldn’t be there when she woke up.

“What’s wrong, sweetness? Tell me, and I can fix it.” He sounded sincere, and it worried her. She had never heard him this serious before. She felt his warm breath ripple over her collarbone, and a hand back in her hair. His other hand was on her hip, ready to push her away if she wanted to stop. She squeezed him tightly around his ribs.

“Promise you will still be here, even after you get what you want?” She felt the scars along his back, and was sure that her nails would be leaving more scars as she held him like this.

Her words felt like a dagger in his heart. That she would still be worried about him leaving after all this time.

He held her close and gave her a chaste kiss on the forehead. “You can’t get rid of me that easily, Hildr. I will be here for you no matter what, even if you try to chase me away like a dog.”

She giggled slightly at the idea of him running, tail tucked between his legs. But his words had soothed her worries. She ran her hands down to his hips and started working on freeing him from his trousers. She felt his muscles tense and ripple where she brushed against him, and his groans were only encouraging her to take her time.

“Two can play at this game, Princess.” She felt him gently tug her dress down, and begin to cover her chest with kisses.

She managed to undo the laces on his trousers before he slipped away from her grasp.

He reached down and picked her up, his arms wrapped around her knees. Her dress began to slide as he carried her to the bed, but he barely noticed as his eyes were lost in hers. He gently put her on the bed, putting her in a kneeling position in front of him. She batted him away when he tried to pull her dress down further, but before he could protest, she reached down and pulled her dress and shift up and over her head, tossing it lightly on the floor behind her.

She watched as he stopped to openly admire her in her small clothes there before him, his eyes full of lust. He reverently reached out to touch her before he came closer to her. She felt his rough fingers skim lightly over the skin of her abdomen. His hand lingered for a moment only inches from her core. A small moan that escaped her lips seemed to be enough to break him out of his trance.

He hurriedly stripped off his trousers, and threw them solidly at the door, seemingly a deliberate movement, meant to make as much noise as possible. She was confused by his actions, as well as his smirk as he turned back to her.

He had his hands on her in the next instant, pulling her against him. His fingers nimbly removed her breast wrapping, and he tossed it away as well as he kissed her again. His kisses became more insistent and hungrier, like she was all that he craved. He cupped her ass before running his hand down to her knee, gently pulling her knee to his side and around him. He leaned into her harder, making sure that she felt his erection. With only her panties in between them, it was obvious what effect she had on him. She had her hands on his sides, keeping him close against her. He rubbed a thumb over her knee where he still had past his hip, and kept his hand behind her neck, curling hair from the nape of her neck around his fingers.

“Are you sure Princess? Are you sure you want to do this?” He pulled his face back slightly to look in her eyes. “Are you…Are you sure that you want me?”

She decided that showing him would be better than trying to tell him. She pulled his hand from her knee, and towards her core. “What do you think, Ranger?” Her teasing words were not the words he was waiting for, since he didn’t move back into her. “Do you want me to tell you or show you?” He still stood like a statue, not giving into her, not even seeming to breathe. “Yes, Bishop! I want you!” She yelled it at him, almost losing her temper. _Couldn’t he tell how badly she wanted him right now? Couldn’t he feel it?_

A grin split his face before he pushed her down onto her back on the bed, momentarily freeing her from his grasp. “Your wish is my command, ladyship. Don’t be quiet for me. I want to hear you scream.”

Before she could think, he had caged her in his arms. He started to remove her panties gently, but ripped them off and threw them at the door behind him as well.

She gripped his bicep to pull him down on top of her. She could taste his sweat as she leaned up and kissed his neck. It must be a strain on him to have held back this long.

His other hand ran up her thigh, and she felt his index finger gently stroke her pussy. He looked like he was having more fun teasing her than doing anything else. His golden eyes looked straight down into hers.

“Please, Bishop!” She arched her back under his touch. She was happy to scream for him as he kissed down her chest and her breasts. She could feel his grin against her nipple before he gently nipped the sensitive skin. She felt him push his finger deeper into her, and moaned loudly for him.

“Please what, ladyship? You’re going to have to be very specific for me.” His thumb pressed against her.

She felt him position himself between her thighs, and his weight pushed her legs further apart. He positioned himself against her. Once he was positioned, he pulled his finger out of her. She rubbed her hands over the scars on his back and braced herself to take him.

“Please take me. Bishop, please.” She mumbled to him.

“Sorry, Princess. I didn’t hear you, what was that?” He kissed her chest, and nipped playfully at her breast again.

“Please take me, Bishop! I’m yours!” His rumbling laughter told her that was what he had wanted to hear. He pushed himself into her, one finger’s width at a time, groaning at how good it felt. Once he was completely inside her, he stopped. She thought he was making sure that he wasn’t hurting her. She felt good, amazing even. It was like she was full, complete with him in her. She moaned, loud enough that they could hear her at the forge she hoped, and clawed at his back.

“Oh Bishop!” Her moaning and clawing at him seemed to be all of the encouragement that he needed. She felt him moving deeper and faster. His fingers and lips seemed to be leaving sparks where he touched her skin.

His hips pushed against hers more forcefully and deeper. _I need it. She is mine. All mine. I want her. No, I need her_. He was disgusted by the smell of the Paladin in her bed, and was determined to replace it with his own. The smell of her soap and their sex pushed him faster. He loved the sound of her screaming, and could only imagine what it was doing to that Paladin in the next room.

“Bishop! I…I can’t” She was panting and moaning. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard, her calling his name in the throws of ecstasy.

“Let go.” He had both of his hands on her hips now, pulling her tight against his hips. “I have you. You’re safe.”

He was going to make sure that she came at least once more before he did, if he could. Once he felt the waves pass through her, he pulled himself out, and plunged a finger back into her instead. He wanted to taste her. He wanted to be the only man that knew that about her.

He looked her in the eye as he licked her from his finger, taking his time. She tasted better than he could have ever imagined. He fought the urge to have another taste. He had more important things to do right now.

“You are so beautiful, Princess. Let me know how I can make you happy.” He pushed himself back deep inside her. She moaned in response to him. It seemed that he had fucked all the words out of her head. He bucked his hips, and flipped her on top of him on the bed. His hands stroked her sides, and he sat up slightly to nip at her. Feeling her open herself further to him and take him deeper elicited a groan from him. One hand made for her clit and teased it. She threw back her head and moaned loudly, her hands on his shoulders for support.

“Gods, you are perfect, Hildr. You are mine. Say it.”

“I’m yours.” She sighed the words as she rode him hard. His hand left her clit for the inside of her thigh.

“C’mon, sweetness. You know I can’t hear you when you whisper to me.”

“I’m yours, Bishop! By the Gods!” She leaned into him, spent, and he followed her soon after.

He gathered her into his arms and kissed her. He enjoyed the taste of her sweat on her brow and neck. He took the opportunity to kiss every inch of her he could reach from where she laid, content, in his arms beside him. _She was perfect_. She was a warrior and strong enough to hold her own in a battle. He had been at her side as she brought down not one, but two dragons. She was beautiful enough to take to a ball with fancy nobles. Casavir had called that one correctly, and when he crashed the event, Bishop was struck at how well she seemed to belong with the rest of them, even if she was far more radiant. She was even beautiful now as she wore only his ring, even if she still wore the necklace from Casavir as well. She was almost as skilled as he was in survival arts. She could track her prey almost as far as he could. She didn’t need his help to set camp or to start a fire. She was a compliment to him.

She was perfect for him. He only wished that moments like this would last forever. He rubbed her cheek gently, looking at the perfect blush that she still had. Once again, he wanted to braid flowers into her long hair, whatever flowers she wanted. He would do anything to make her happy. _If she would want a family, I will give her one. I will be whatever kind of man she needs._

Bishop never had much use for the gods, but he would worship this woman in his arms like anyone else would any or all of the gods. _She would be the only one that I will pray to ever again._

Hildr got up once Bishop’s attentions slowed, and pulled on a shift. For the first time in a long time feeling completely fulfilled and relaxed. She unwound herself from Bishop’s grasp. She left the room to hear something soft and whispered. It almost sounded like prayers and soft cries coming from Lydia’s room. She tried the door, but it was locked.

She picked the lock quickly and almost wished that she hadn’t done that. What she saw broke her heart into a thousand tiny pieces, and she wasn’t sure there was anything in Nirn that would ever help her pull the pieces back together again.

Casavir was kneeling at the side of the bed, crying and praying. She felt the heat rise in her cheeks. She understood now why Bishop had insisted on her being so vocal for him, and she was ashamed that she had given in to him that quickly. She wanted to run to Casavir, fall to her knees, and let him cry into her as she apologized to him for doing that. _Had I known…_

She would have done it, but it would have shamed him. And if he was crying and praying for the reasons that she thought, he wouldn’t want to be anywhere near her right now. She was not in any condition that he would want to see her in either. Her shift stuck to her where she was still sweaty, and she knew that she was flushed from fucking Bishop. 

“Cas…” Her broken-hearted whisper seemed to rouse him from his tears and prayers.

“My… my Lady. I… I…” But before he was able to finish a full sentence or thought he pushed past her, was down the steps, and out into the night. She couldn’t know for sure, but she had an idea as to where he had gone.

There was no time to worry about where Casavir was, she needed to confront Bishop about what he did to Casavir, much less how he could do something like that to him. _And use me in some petty childish plot for revenge._

Bishop was still sprawled out in her bed, relaxed and enjoying the bliss of having just fucked her. The content and smug grin on his face was what pushed her over the edge.

“What the fuck did you do!?” She was furious at him, and she let the rage overtake her.

“Gave you a great time. Don’t you agree?” He stretched his arms, and then laced his fingers behind his head. “Care for another round?” He popped his hips under the blanket. “I am sure that I can oblige.”

“Why did you do that to Casavir!?”

“Paladin had it coming.” He responded all too calm and self-assured. “You’re mine, Princess. He had to be reminded of that. He even heard it from your own lips." Bishop gave her a smirk before he continued. "Now he should know where he stands, and based on how vocal you were, I doubt he will forget that any time soon.” He sounded too calm, almost as if he were proud of himself for what he had just done. He also looked too comfortable, still laying in her bed like that, with his fingers interlaced and behind his head, not looking at her any longer.

“Petty Brat!” She grabbed a dress, and stormed out of the room.

“Where are you going!?” He yelled at her, not wanting to get out of the bed, even if she was storming out of the house.

“Out!” And she slammed the front door behind her. Out in the night air, she finally took a deep breath and walked to the stables. Brushing down her mare, Mist, always calmed her down. She figured that she could brush out Casavir’s stallion, Justice, as well. She owed him some kindness now. With any luck she would be able to buy another horse so that Bishop wouldn’t have to ride behind her, and wouldn’t be able to fondle her every step of their journey.

Bishop deflated after a minute of laying in Hildr’s bed. He knew he had messed up by making Hildr mad like that, but he would not apologize for what he had done. He had enjoyed himself thoroughly, and she had as well given how vocal she was for him. _Well, there is nothing for it now. I should go after her_.

He quickly got up and dressed in his discarded trousers and shirt. He reached for his dagger, but thought better of it. If he met up with Casavir he would rather it be unarmed. He would enjoy that confrontation if Hildr were not there, and possibly more if she were. _I will fight that pompous Paladin for her if he insists on sticking around. She is mine, completely mine now._

Once out in the night, Bishop hesitated. Hildr probably went after her white knight to apologize for her actions, or more specifically what Bishop had done and looped her into it. The knight would probably be up at the temple, given that he had probably been praying the whole time Bishop fucked his perfect princess.


	8. …and lessons

Casavir slumped forward with his head in his hands. He couldn’t believe what had just happened to him. He knew something was wrong when he heard the door lock, but could not do anything about the door at that point. He should have known better than to relax his guard around that ranger. _Bishop. She had told me that the ranger’s name is Bishop._ He had felt his heart shatter when he heard them and realized what it was he was hearing, and he did not know if or when his heart would ever be whole again. He had prayed that he had been wrong, but it seemed that the gods couldn’t hear him or wouldn’t answer his prayers. He had cried when he realized that, but he continued to pray. It was when he had prayed that he would see her again that she had opened the door to free him. He had prayed to her, since the Gods would not answer him. It was more than he could bear. He would have sworn that she had heard his prayer and delivered him. _If only she had not been in just a shift, and was not still flushed and glowing from what Bishop had done to her._

_Why am I so jealous? I should be happy for her to have such a loving a companion. It was something that I could not give her... not now._

He came here to the temple of Kynareth, but couldn’t bring himself to go into the temple. He could not explain why, but he could not do it. He sat under the Gildergreen in the square and continued to pray, if not as fervently. Some part of him wished that she would come back to him now. It wasn’t just that he had felt abandoned in his time of need. There was a part of him that had wished that it had been his name that she had yelled in ecstasy. That it was in his arms she had been so happy and vocal. That he would be the one she fell asleep against this night, and every night after, once she was spent. He could feel himself starting to chafe under the bonds that his vows made for him. _I should not wish any of that that, but I do. Stendarr forgive me, but I do._

He took a few more deep breaths to steady himself before he got up from the bench under the Gildergreen, and realized that there was someone watching him from the stairs to the market. Someone other than the guards who had eyed him curiously as they made their rounds. Bishop, presumably here to make sure that his victory stung Casavir as much as possible.

“What do you want, Bishop?” _What do I have left that you could take from me now?_ Gods, his voice even sounded like he was as broken as he felt.

“Nothing from you, Paladin.” Bishop spat the words at him. “I expected Hildr to be up here with you. I wanted to talk her into another round if I could, or carry her back to bed if I couldn’t yet convince her.” Bishop’s smirk sickened him.

“So you don’t know where she is tonight? I thought you were the best ranger in Skyrim.” Under normal circumstances, he would have been mad at the venom in his voice, but right now it felt too good.

“And the best lover, in case you hadn’t heard.” Bishop threw his arms open wide, in a mocking position of Mara’s statues. 

“I’m going to go find her, since you apparently cannot.” He refused to let Bishop’s comment get under his skin. He turned away to make a plan to find her.

Casavir was taken aback by a hand on his shoulder. _Had she come up here to find me?_ The strike to his face quickly pushed that thought from his mind. He staggered back a few steps to see Bishop advancing on him again. He held his hands up, palms out to try and dissuade Bishop, but it was no use. He felt kicks and blows rain down on him as he circled around the tree. He didn’t want to have to strike his lady’s companion. He would wear him out if at all possible. Casavir managed to grab Bishop’s leg when he tried to kick him again, and turned Bishop away from him and towards the ground.

“Stop! By order of the Jarl!”

 _Great_. _This was not going to help anything right now._ Casavir said a silent prayer that his lady would be safe tonight since neither of them would be able to watch her back.

He held his hands up before himself so that the guards would see he was cooperating. Bishop took advantage of Casavir’s momentary distraction to kick and hit the Paladin’s ankle, sending Casavir to one knee while the guards approached the two of them. 

Several of the guards had surrounded the two of them in the square, and they were both hauled off to the prison in Whiterun.

~~~~~ 

A short time had passed before Hildr and Lydia arrived at the prison. _Of course Lydia would have gotten her Thane. It made sense that was where she had gone when she saw the two of us being drug up here to the cells_. Casavir groaned to himself. 

Hildr breezed past the both of them sitting there like sullen children, both bruised and beaten, although Casavir looked to have taken the greater share of the beating. She wished that Casavir would look at her, so that she would at least know that he was okay. Bishop was still leering at her, like he had expected her to take him home and back into her bed right then. She had no time for either of them right now.

“How much?” Hildr spoke to the guard captain, without moving her gaze from where the two of them sat.

The guard captain gave her an appraising look. Apparently, she was well known in this city, and this guard knew that she was a Thane. “There is no need to pay their bounties, Thane Hildr. You can take both of them with you now, if you wish.”

“I am sorry, Guard Captain, if I was not clear,” she said, finally turning to look at the guard. “How much to keep both of them here for the night? Preferably in cells across from each other so that they can talk like adults. I find it hard to believe that this,” she motioned back to them as if to take in the general disarray of both of her companions, “was your doing.”

The Guard Captain looked at her, then at the two men sitting in the corner under guard before responding to her. “Very well. 40 septims will do for both of them, and we will make sure that they sit across from each other.”

“Good. I will send my housecarl” -she gestured to Lydia, standing at the door- “for them tomorrow.” She watched as the guards, who had been keeping watch over the both Bishop and Casavir, pulled them to their feet, and led them further into the prison. She felt guilty to be leaving Casavir here for the night. From the way that the two of them looked, Cas had taken a beating from Bishop, and not thrown many, if any, punches in return. Bishop’s injuries seemed to look more self-inflicted, or from falling. She was certain that if she had saved Casavir from a night here that Bishop would not forget it, and make sure to torture her knight the more for it.

She sighed and made her way back to her home. She was not looking forward to sleeping alone tonight, and she still had to tell Lydia all of her plan. _Or maybe Lydia would agree to sleep with me tonight?_

~~~~~ 

The next morning Lydia arrived early to collect the two men from the prison, and escort them back to Breezehome. Casavir had finally realized what could have been part of the reason that Bishop was cowed by this woman. She took on a motherly, lecturing tone the whole way back to Breezehome.

“She cried the whole night, starting as soon as we got back to Breezehome. I could hear her from my room.” She looked from one of them to the other. “I do not believe that it was sadness that brought her tears. My Thane is not one to cry when sad. Her tears were most likely anger and frustration. She was even angry with me when I went to comfort her, but allowed me to stay by her side all night nonetheless.” Lydia was fingering her dagger.

After some time, Lydia continued. “It also may be a good idea to sleep with your armor on tonight and for the next few nights. She is not always the most forgiving woman, and her rage last night made me grateful for my armor when I was sleeping beside her. Being the cause of her anger would only focus any resolve she has, I am sure.”

Lydia had her dagger out and was tossing it in her hand, as if she would take the action for her Thane. She still had a calm and composed demeanor as if this were no special conversation and it had not been rehearsed. Casavir half wished that Lydia would use the dagger on him instead of talking in that manner. Her words hurt him far more than that dagger ever could.

He hoped that Hildr would be able to forgive him for hurting her so. He did not fight the ranger last night, not really. He had done only enough to keep himself safe from Bishop, only turning him to the ground for that one kick before the guards stopped them. But he had hurt her all the same.

The three of them arrived at Breezehome quickly and were stopped by a small note left on the stairs.

Grab your things.

Meet me at the stables.

That was all that was written in a tight even hand.

~~~~~

“There you are. Let’s go.” Hildr was obviously still furious with the both of them, given the way that she bit off the words and spat the command at the two of them. _I hope that I am hiding some of my anger._ She stroked Mist’s neck. Casavir at least had the good grace to look embarrassed.

She had already gotten the three horses saddled, and had her saddlebags and gear situated. She vaulted astride, and when Bishop tried to get on Mist with her, she made her black and white painted mare dance a quick circle and pointed to the third horse, a stocky chestnut mare saddled and loaded almost like a pack horse, between Hildr astride Mist and Casavir’s white stallion. “If I ever let you ride with me again, you will know. Until then, you ride alone.”

Casavir hid a satisfied smile as he checked his saddle girth on his strong white stallion. He tied his gear down and climbed up on his horse as well, letting his stallion frisk a few steps towards Hildr and her mare.

“Hurry up, Bishop. I refuse to wait on either of you.” She turned Mist and trotted off. After a moment, Casavir was trotting off as well while Bishop was scrambling up into the saddle. He never liked riding, especially riding alone. Riding behind Hildr had been the only time he had ever enjoyed himself, and that had less to do with the horse than anything else. He was always unsteady on a horse, and he thought that this horse knew it and was determined to torture him. He set off at a faster pace, trying to catch up with Hildr, Karnwyr joining them from his hunt and running alongside Bishop’s chestnut mare.

Casavir was the first to reach her, his sullen attitude not lifting with the sunlight. He slowed to match her horse’s speed, and blushed as he looked at her. “My lady, I am sorry for our indiscretion last night, as well as the cost to you of such an altercation. It will not happen again.” After a brief moment he took a deep breath and started to pass her.

“Unless you prompted everything that Bishop did yesterday, the blame does not lie with you.” She shot him a weighing look. “I feel that I am to blame. Had I not sought your company the other night, this would not have progressed like it did. You would not have spent the night in that jail cell either.”

“It is not your fault, my lady.” He cleared his throat and looked over his shoulder at Bishop glowering at the two of them. “Forgive me.” He allowed Justice to canter for a short time, leaving Hildr and Bishop with a heavy heart, to give them time to talk together.

~~~~~

That night at the campfire, the tension was palpable. The three of them ate in silence. She had not let Bishop hunt, or Casavir cook. Everyone ate from the provisions that they had brought with them. As much as she hated the taste of the salted meats, stale crackers, and pungent cheese, she preferred it that way, since then neither of them would be competing with each other or pretending to have an upper hand. She had also insisted on spreading out their bed rolls in the new tent when they stopped to set up camp, preferring to not be close to either of them. At least, that is what she wanted them to think. She had a scheme in mind, but she needed to keep up the act before either of them found out what she was up to tonight. 

Casavir volunteered for the first watch, and briskly walked off with his whetstone to perch on a boulder near the road.

Hildr shot Bishop a burning look as he tried to move closer to her, and he moved back to where he had been next to Karnwyr with his hands up. Once she was sure that he would not follow her, she moved off after Casavir.

“Are you sure you should not be with the… with Bishop, my lady?” He didn’t even look up from where he was sharpening his sword. He recognized the sound of her walk, and didn’t need to see her to know it was her for sure.

“I would rather be with you right now, Cas.” She sat on the ground near the boulder, pulling her knees up to her chest. “If I had even imagined that Bishop would do that to you, I would have never…” The tears welled in her eyes, for the first time truly upset over what all had happened, and how badly Casavir had been hurt.

Suddenly she felt a heavy hand on her shoulder. _He must have heard how close I was to breaking. He is nothing if not kind._ Cas had put his sword and whetstone on the ground and was crouched in front of her. 

“None of that now, my lady.” He had removed his gauntlet and his thumb softly wiped the tears from her cheeks.

“I doubt that it will happen again, but if it does, I will make sure that you don’t get hurt.” She leaned into his hand, and brushed the inside of his wrist as she had after the Grand Crystal Ball in Solitude. _I wish that it could be more than just a light touch_.

“Thank you, my lady.” He leaned back on his heels, and reluctantly removed his hand from her cheek. He gave her an appraising look. _If it ever happens again, it will hurt me no matter what. But she deserves to be happy. It is something that I cannot give her_. “Please, go back to the fire and get some rest, my lady. I am sure you will want to be off early in the morning.” _I would rather that you stay with me, but I cannot ask you to do that._ “Do you know who will take the second watch?”

“I will. Wake me up when your watch is done.”

“Of course, my lady.” He held out a hand to help her to her feet. He realized he did not want to let go of her just yet so he kissed her hand before letting her return to the fire. For the first time in a long time he thought he may have been jealous of the ranger. _No, Bishop. She had told him that his name was Bishop._ Some part of him wondered if she had corrected Bishop about his name. He wanted to run to her, and pull her back to him, to split their watches together. He wanted to have her fall asleep in his arms while he kept watch over her, and to stay by his side, and keep watch over him. He found his mind wandering back to his vows. _If not for them_ … If not for them he would never had made his way to Skyrim, and he would never have met his lady. He settled himself back on the boulder and resumed working on his sword.

She brushed past Bishop when she got back to the campfire, and went straight to her furs in the tent, not even bothering to undress for the night. She laid on her back, staring at the canvass above her for a few moments before she heard Bishop coming in to join her. _Well, I guess now is as good of a time as any. My plan is already in motion._

“Listen, ladyship. I’m… sorry about last night.” He was rubbing the back of his neck and couldn’t look at her, even though he was sitting directly across from her. _He probably had never had to apologize before in his life_. “I just… I wanted him to know that you were mine... I wanted him to hear it from your lips.” He dropped his hands into his lap and sighed. “As for the brawl, you should know that I started it. I didn’t want him to be the one to talk to you first after I had claimed you as my own.”

“I’m not the one that needs your apology, ranger.” Her response stung him like a slap. _She never called me ranger, not anymore._

“You’re right, Hildr.” He got up from his seat on his bedroll, and knelt before her. “Will you be here when I get back? I still want to make it up to you as well.” _I need to make it up to you as well._ She still wouldn’t look at him and wouldn’t answer him either.

He left the tent without another word, and wandered over to where the Paladin sat, cleaning and sharpening his stupid sword.

“What do you want, Bishop?” Casavir asked him coldly, not stopping his work. Bishop stopped in his tracks, gathering up all of the strength that it would need to do this. _I have to do this. I need to get back in her good graces_. _This is what I need to do for her_. 

“I came to apologize.” Bishop sighed and crossed his arms, leaning against a nearby tree. He refused to meet Casavir’s eyes, and studied the dirt near the road. 

“Really?” Casavir raised an eyebrow at Bishop. Bishop noticed him put down the whetstone and test the edge of his sword with his thumb. _Cheeky Paladin, does he plan to use that on me?_

“Yeah.” The words were caught in his throat. “I shouldn’t have done that to you.” _Or her_. “I don’t regret it, but I shouldn’t have done it the way that I did. I’m… sorry.” He stood there waiting for some kind of acknowledgement or response. Just when Bishop thought it would never come, Casavir gave him a nod and a grunt.

“I still don’t want you around, and I won’t apologize for the brawl. As soon as I am able to win her little challenge, you are gone.” Bishop spat the words at Casavir and stalked back to the fire. _Back to my woman_ . _That would have to be enough for her, I won’t apologize for things which I am not sorry for doing._

Hildr was still laying on her furs when he got back to the tent, and knelt by her side again. He brushed the hair away from her face. “How can I make it up to you, Princess? I will do anything.” He was only partially disgusted with himself for begging.

“Never do that to Cas, again, for starters.” She said it flatly, seemingly unaffected by his tone. “Keep me out of your schemes to hurt him. I don’t know what happened between the two of you, and right now I don’t really care. If you want to hurt him, do it at the practice ring. Those wounds he can manage to heal.” She finally turned and looked at him, a faint smile on her lips. He always felt lost in her kind green eyes when she looked at him like that.

“As for making it up to me…” She was sitting up on her furs now, holding her hand out to him. She rubbed his cheek gently, until he closed his amber eyes. He was surprised to collide with the furs covering the ground, and was shocked to realize that Hildr had struck his face. Based on the way it felt, she had hit him with his own ring. _Yeah, I probably deserved that_. He sat back on his knees, just out of her range, and watched as she rubbed her hand. She moved towards him and held out her hand to him again. He eyed her suspiciously, but leaned into her hand. Thankfully she didn’t hit him, but moved forward and kissed his cheek where he thought a bruise was already starting to form.

“Wear the bruise until it fades naturally.” At least her tone sounded warmer as she whispered into his ear. She kissed his bruising cheek again before gathering up her bedroll. “You have the third watch. I am going out to join Cas, and take over when it is time for the second watch.”

He felt his heart drop. He had done what she had asked of him, and still she would be slipping through his fingers. _I don’t want to lose her already. I can’t._

“Princess, please… please don’t go.” He was angry with himself that his voice sounded so thick and pathetic.

She placed her bedroll by the opening of the tent, and turned back to him. Her brave strong ranger looked so small and broken sitting there on his bedroll. He had his knees drawn up almost to his chest, as if they were all that was holding his arms up as he braced himself there. He was running his fingers through his short mousy brown hair, making it stick up in odd angles. She couldn’t leave him like this, even if she would make it up to him when his watch came. She crawled back to him, and threw her arms around him. She covered his face in kisses as she pushed him onto his back. His arms wound around her, and pulled her tight against him. He ran his fingers through her long hair, treasuring this moment as he treasured her.

“Go to sleep, Bishop.” With one last kiss she pulled away from him and disappeared into the night.

She found Casavir right where she had left him earlier. He had moved on from sharpening his sword, and was sharpening the dagger that he always carried.

“My lady? You should be sleeping.” He sounded more exasperated than upset with her for being there. 

“I would rather be here, Cas. I can sleep here at your feet until it is my turn to take the watch.” She spread out her bedroll and was beginning to get comfortable. _So far everything was going to plan_.

“No, my lady!” He sounded scandalized by the very thought. “I would never ask that of you.” He had slid off of his perch on the boulder, and was removing his breastplate. He placed it on the ground beside her bedroll, and sat next to her. He blushed after realizing what it must look like he was doing. He hesitantly opened his arms to her, figuring she would rather lean against him, even if he was still wearing his chainmail, instead of the boulder behind them. She giggled at him, and rolled up onto a knee beside him. He felt her hands close to his neck, near the tie on his shirt. He closed his eyes tight; he was worried he would get lost in her kind eyes if he watched her. _Sweet Divines, what is she going to do? Is she going to kiss me? I am not worthy. No, I am just not ready_. He felt her soft lips graze his cheek, before feeling her settle against his chest. He opened his eyes to see her get comfortable. Within moments she was fast asleep against him. He stroked her long red hair, enjoying the feel of silky strands falling between his fingers. She smelled of her horse as well as faintly of roses, even after a long day in the saddle.

He looked up into the sky above him, at the dark sky full off stars beyond count. He had felt like flotsam before when he looked at the stars, but now, since meeting his lady, he had felt more and more like he had a place in this world. Having her curled in his arms, no matter where they were, felt like he was home.

He finished the rest of his watch, and started hers before waking her. He moved her hair over her one shoulder before he rubbed a hand up and down her back firmly to rouse her. _If this doesn’t work, I don’t know what else to do to wake her_. She murmured groggily into his chest as she woke, and he hissed yearningly as he felt her hands slide down his chest and she pushed away from him. He felt himself stir as her hands rested on his hips. She must have forgotten whom she had fallen asleep against, given the blush that colored her face under the impression the chainmail links left on her cheek. _She did not move her hands away from my hips immediately. Is it a sign? Could she… no. It does not matter, I cannot._ His arms were still around her, and stopped her from getting too far from him before he relaxed his grasp on her.

She sat back on her heels and stretched her arms above her head. “My turn then?” She was far too tired at the moment. _I should have let her sleep_. She also didn’t seem to notice what affect her stirring and stretching had on him. He felt himself blush at watching her sinuous movements.

“Yes, my lady. I will return to the campfire if you wish.” He started to move before she fully registered what was happening around her. Her hand seemed to strike directly at his knee to stop him from moving.

“No! I mean… please stay with me? I would feel more comfortable with you here for the rest of my watch.” She kept her hand on his knee to hold him in place, surprised that it didn’t even take a firm touch to hold him still. “We can share my bedroll.” She felt as if her face caught fire as soon as she realized what it was that she had said. “I mean, you can use it. Not…” Her voice felt caught. “Your vows…” she finally squeaked out.

“Of course, my lady. I will stay here if you wish, and would appreciate your bedroll if you would be willing to lend it to me.” He moved towards the bedroll, to give her the spot he was just in so that she could keep watch, but she did not move. She still sat there with her hand on his knee. He leaned back against the boulder again. “My lady?” He was horribly confused at the moment.

She moved the bedroll from underneath her, only hesitantly moving her hand from him as she covered him up so he could sleep. Once she was satisfied with him being at least relatively comfortable, she reached across him for his whetstone. She unbuckled her sword belt, pulled her sword free, and pushed his knees further apart so that she could sit there. Before he could object, she had nestled herself between his legs, and began to work on her sword.

“My lady?” He was grateful beyond belief for her bedroll as well as his armor, hoping that she didn’t notice the effect she had on him.

“Shh. Go to sleep, Cas. I will keep you safe. Promise.” She leaned over and gave his knee a kiss, as if to punctuate her statement.

“Yes, my lady.” He stifled a yawn before leaning back. It took all of his focus to not reach down and pull her against him. _He wanted to wrap his arms around her, to pull her back to his chest, breathe in her floral scent, cup her breast, and run his other hand down to her…_ The feel of himself stirring again made him abandon that thought. He hoped that she hadn’t felt that against her back. If she did feel it, she made no mention of it. He fell asleep to the sound of her working her blades with his whetstone.

She knew that her watch was close to ending when Karnwyr bounded over to her. As always, Bishop was close behind his wolf. If he was upset by their entwined position against the boulder, he made no open mention of it. If not for the slip of his usual smirk, she would not have thought he noticed at all. She was sure that seeing the two of them like this was hurting him, but like the bruise that was blooming across his face even now, this was part of his punishment. She gave Casavir’s knee a squeeze, and then gentle strokes along the inside of his knee, trying to rouse him before Bishop could use a much less pleasant method, but he still slept behind her.

“Go get some sleep, ladyship,” he said, offering her a hand. He helped her to her feet easily, if anything she almost seemed to leap into him in that instant. If he was on better terms with her at the moment, he would have kissed her, so he held her instead.

She wrapped her arms around his neck easily, and rested her forehead against his. Her emerald green eyes seemed to call to him, to relax him. He closed his eyes and was surprised to feel her lips whisper soft against his own. “I will, Bishop.” She whispered the words against his lips, and suddenly she was gone from his grasp.

She knelt back down between Casavir’s knees, and rubbed his face to wake him. “Cas? C’mon. Let’s get you to bed. Our watches are done.” She ran her fingers through his raven black hair as well.

“Yes, my lady.” His answer was groggy. Hildr was pulling the bedroll away from Casavir. He was clearly still half asleep, and didn’t notice how close she was to him. But he got to his feet with her help and followed Hildr like a giant puppy. It only took a gentle lead of her hand to get him back over to the tent.

Bishop looked down to where they had just been and noticed that Casavir’s breastplate and whetstone, as well as Hildr’s bedroll were still there on the ground where they had left them. He sat down on her bedroll, thankful for the warmth, and some small part of him hoped that she would sleep in his bedroll tonight. Even if he were not there with her now, just her scent on the fur would be enough for him to sleep more soundly the next time he needed it. _I must have really messed up if she wanted me to see the two of them like that._

A soft rustling from behind him made him reach for his dagger, before he realized that it could only be Hildr right now. He relaxed, but was still nervous as to why she would be here with him again. He scrambled to his feet, torn between taking her back to the tent and putting her to bed, or pulling her against him and keeping her out on watch with him. She made up his mind for him when she pulled him back down onto her bedroll and curled up beside him, sharing her bedroll with him. After a long moment, he pushed her back from him.

“Not like this, Princess.” He thought he saw hurt in her eyes that he would reject a chance for them to be so close. “This will be better, trust me.” He pulled her between his knees and had her lay on her side before covering them both up again. “See?”

“I see,” she giggled. It felt right to have her leaning against him, her head on his chest, his arms around her.

“Now, go to sleep. You will need your strength tomorrow.” He kissed the top of her head, and ran his finger through her hair as he hummed gently to her. In no time at all she was asleep again, and he was alone with his thoughts, Karnwyr asleep at his side.

She woke shortly after dawn to coos from Bishop, and his hands trailing up and down her back. She rubbed her hand across his chest and then down his side. She only half pushed herself away from his chest once her hands were on his hips. She moaned softly, still better than half asleep, and not that far from him. _She is absolutely perfect, and she is all mine._

“Good dreams, sweetness?” He kissed her forehead and wrapped an arm around her. He didn’t want to let her get up just yet. He cupped her cheek in his other hand, and pulled her close to kiss her again. She slowly slid away from him, before he could kiss her lips. She stretched and rose, holding out a hand to help him as well. He watched her stretch, enjoying the way that she moved when she was still half asleep _. Gods, she is so beautiful_. He was happy to pretend to use her hand to get to his feet.

He stooped and grabbed her bedroll, and she grabbed Casavir’s breastplate and pocketed his whetstone before turning back to their camp. She was grateful for Bishop’s arm around her as she stumbled back to the tent and campfire.

“I’ll wake Cas, and then we can strike camp.” She pulled away from him and went about getting ready for the day.

Shortly, all three horses were saddled, the tent was stowed, and they were ready for another day on the road. The attitude around the three of them was better today. Her plan to split her time with the both of them to keep them both happy was working.

Casavir asked after the fresh bruise that marred the better half of Bishop’s face from below his right eye to his jaw, now all sickly shades of blue and purple. Bishop only muttered something about an accepted apology, and kept his face turned away from them as they finished getting ready. As they started on the road again, Casavir shot Hildr a look, and she made a fist with her left hand, a silver ring prominent on her middle finger. She had broken his nose with the heel of her palm when he first approached her, and he made himself a silent promise that he would not ever anger her enough to hit him like that.


	9. In the cards

Hildr was happy to chat with them again as they rode. That morning they made it to Ivarstead, and worried what the morrow would bring.

Bishop left after they dismounted and went to get rooms at the inn. He was too new to owning a horse, and wasn’t sure how long it would really be his. _Do I really need to bother to learn how to take care of it? I am sure Hildr will take care of her as well. It is her horse after all, even if she does make me ride her. All I ever needed before was Karnwyr. Well, Karnwyr and Hildr._ Bishop had wanted to share a room with her, and still intended to if they had any double rooms. The bruise on his cheek was still too fresh and too tender to let him think he would be able to do much of anything if he did manage to get her in bed with him, but he was still going to try no matter what. _She is worth more than one hundred bruises like this_. He winced as he touched his cheek.

Hildr was happily brushing down her mare in the stables when Bishop rejoined her with the keys to their rooms. He had never cared for horses, and never had to care for one before either. He was happy to lean against the stall door and watch as Hildr brushed Mist, and the chestnut mare he had been riding as well. Karnwyr was sleeping in the corner of the chestnut mare’s stall. He had taken to calling the mare he rode Kara. _The wild, stormy one. The name fit the mare almost too well._ Hildr was so deliberate and methodical in her actions. It was clear that she enjoyed doing this. He thought that he could get used to watching her tend her mares, and absently wondered if she would tend her children with the same care. 

_Fool. Why would I care if she would tend children like this? I have no plans to sire a child with anyone… But if she would want them… and want them with me… No. I am too afraid I would be just the same as my own father, and would never wish that on any child_. He shuddered at the very thought of being the same as that man. For now, he would content himself with just watching her.

Casavir, in the next stall, was chatting away at his proud white stallion, Justice, brushing him all the while. It was something of a tradition with the Paladin. He would talk at his stallion every evening when they made camp. He would whisper sweet nothings some nights, and would recite poems or prayers on other nights. It was something that he had done since before he left Cyrodiil for Skyrim. Of late he found himself telling the stallion more love poems than anything else, especially if he suspected that Hildr was listening to him. More than once Casavir had noticed that she was taking her time on those nights as she brushed out the black and white paint mare she rode, silent behind his back. _She is so calm and steadfast, my lady_. He was blessed by all of the divines to spend every moment that he could with her, and prayed that their time together would not end too soon. _My Order may frown on such prayers, but I find that I could n_ ot deny myself this. And I do not want to deny myself, even if I could. He even suspected that Hildr enjoyed hearing the love poems.

“Well, Princess, they had a double bed, and a single room left.” Bishop announced from the stall door as she finished. He leaned closer and added just to her, “So we can still have some fun if you would want.” Bishop pulled her closer to him, his hand cupping her ass.

She thought about giving him a few gentle pats on his bruised cheek to remind him as to why that probably wouldn’t be happening that night, but thought better of it. He would be much better company while he was still in an agreeable mood. “What all did you have in mind, Bishop? Maybe doing a few jobs here for the locals for some more coins?” She moved closer to him. “Dinner under the stars?”

“Anything for you, Princess.” He placed his other hand on her waist. “Anything, and everything you want.”

She kissed him gently on his bruised cheek. “Good. Let’s get Cas, and get a job or two for some gold.”

Bishop prickled at the idea of having Casavir come with them, but he relented. There was no use arguing with her when she was in a mood like this. Besides, Casavir could always be sent out in front of them to flush out any enemies. _What fun that would be, no matter how upset it made Hildr_.

Casavir was finishing up with his stallion when Hildr and Bishop came to tell him of their plans. He had happily agreed to the idea of doing jobs around the town. _Of course the puffed up Paladin would want to be seen doing good all over Skyrim. But if it means more septims and more drinks, to Oblivion with it._ Bishop would make a way to make it a more enjoyable day. At least Karnwyr would be free to go hunt. 

~~~~~ 

The bartender, Willhelm, was only too obliging on information. He said that there was a haunted barrow just behind the town. He said that it had been an issue for some time, with the townspeople now not interested in even going that close to the barrow. Hildr exchanged looks with both of her companions.

“We’ll take care of it, Willhelm.” Hildr pushed away from the bar and walked towards the door. Bishop and Casavir trailed after her without her needing to tell them to follow. The barrow was easy enough to find, and must have been difficult for the townspeople to avoid. Some of the houses were practically upon the barrow, close enough to hear a conversation from within on their front porches. With readied weapons, Hildr led the charge. She made it clear that she intended to sneak through the catacombs in that barrow, to see what was going on here and hopefully disturb any ghosts as little as possible. _As much as it may upset Casavir that I would go first, he will do the most good in the back of the group, and it will keep him safe from Bishop_. She slunk down the spiral wooden steps, bow held and arrow knocked, ready to draw. She could almost feel Bishop assume the same position directly behind her, and Casavir draw his sword at the back of the party, feeling almost as if he were being left behind. 

“Leave. Leave.” An apparition seemed to appear on the other side of the gate. After a moment it turned and stalked off. 

“Cas. Have you ever seen an apparition walk away before?” She called over her shoulder, never completely looking away from where she had seen the figure. _Well, Wilhelm is right about one thing at least, something was going on in this barrow_. 

“Beg pardon, my lady?” He sounded confused as to why she would ask a question with such an obvious answer. _Maybe he thought that I would tease him since he just started traveling with us?_

“Yeah, that is what I thought as well. There is definitely something going on here.” She was already looking around the chamber that they were in, and moved into one to her left. There were four levers set in the wall. She was soon flipping levers with abandon. 

“Hey Ladyship! What the fuck do you think you are doing?” Bishop sounded more annoyed than concerned from the main room that she had left him in with Casavir. “Aren’t you worried you are going to trigger something back there?”

“Bishop, there are no doors that I can see. No spikes or anything else either. Stay out there and let me know when you can get to that apparition.” Her voice was calculating and commanding as she was still trying to puzzle out the correct order to throw the levers. 

After a few combinations of levers, she managed to get all of the gates up and open. Casavir had taken the lead and was already squaring off with the apparition. At least, it looked like an apparition, it was transparent and had a blue cast to it. _But it looked too… human?_ When Casavir finally cut the apparition down, she was surprised to see that the form was bleeding, and no longer transparent blue. With a strong tug on the nearby chain, the gate went up, and Hildr crossed through the doorway into a small chamber. _Was it… living here?_

Bishop found a notebook on the table and flipped through it before handing it off to Hildr. Once she had read it, she handed it off to Casavir for him to read as well. She was looking through what all was here in the room, Bishop had left to look through the rest of the tomb. Once she had done a quick search of the room, and Casavir had finished reading, she laid a hand on his shoulder and looked into his sky blue eyes. 

“Cas, go take this journal back to Willhelm. Bishop and I will be here. I think there is more going on here than what he wants to admit.”

Casavir took the hint pretty easily. They meant to loot the tomb while he was away. _Hopefully that was all they intended._ There was what looked like a cozy small room cleared out here. _No, this is not an acceptable place for something like that, and I will not let Bishop have that much time_. He took off at a run as soon as he was out of view. Thankfully he did not have far to run, and Wilhelm was happy to see some sort or progress already reported. 

He returned in short order with what looked like a large sapphire dragon claw in hand. Hildr was sitting on the small table in the room, legs crossed at the knee, her weight on her hands behind her, and watching Bishop’s back. She had braided her hair while they waited for him to return. Bishop had an arm on the mantelpiece of the small fireplace in the room, and was ignoring Hildr. Hildr looked over at Casavir when he returned, and gracefully slid from her perch on the table from where she was sitting in what was apparently the small living space. She tugged on her braid, before quickly realizing what she was doing and threw it over her shoulder. Bishop still stood at the fireplace looking into the flames, refusing to look at Casavir as he returned, almost as if ignoring the other man would make him go away. 

“Willhelm gave me this, my lady. Do you know what it is?” Casavir held the claw out so that Hildr could get a better look at it. 

“Yeah.” She sighed deeply. “I guess we need to just get this over with.”

She led the way over to another tunnel, and pushed open an iron door. There was a flash of fire, blocking their way deeper into the room. Casavir flung out an arm to protect Hildr, and blocked either of them from going further. Once the fire stopped, Hildr gently lowered his arm barring her from going further, kissed his pauldron as if to say thank you, and pushed deeper into the room. Mercifully, the next room back was the clawkey room. After a brief explanation for Casavir about what it was, and how the lock worked Hildr made Casavir open the door. With the combination on the other side of the claw, Casavir didn’t see how it was that secure of an arrangement, but was grateful that it meant the haunting would be resolved faster. They were quickly pushing deeper into the barrow, and into the catacombs.

“Remember, loot all of the arrows, gold, and gemstones. Jewelry is good too.” Hildr called back lazily to her two companions who were still following her. She seemed almost to strut whenever the two of them were following her, as if she was enjoying them watching her, and wanted to make sure neither of them would even consider looking away.

Casavir did not respond, not that she had expected him to. She knew that he still disapproved of looting graves, even the ones that were haunted and any relatives were surely long dead as well. She tried to keep the looting to a minimum when she knew he was watching her. 

“You collecting again, ladyship? Anything specific you want?” Bishop however, never had any such reservations to looting graves. He was more than willing to sell anything and everything that he could to make a tidy profit and give him enough gold to drink for a night or two.

“If you can find a golden collar and leash for yourself, Bishop, I think you would make a great pet. If I can housebreak you, of course.” Hildr made it sound like it was a rehearsed line from a common conversation with Bishop. _Was that why she had worn that collar in Solitude?_ “Maybe Karnwyr will even help me teach you how to behave.” Casavir had to bite his lower lip to stop himself from laughing, especially for the affronted look that Bishop shot Hildr. 

They took turns leading the charge into the rooms of the dungeon, that way neither of her companions could complain of being favorite or being left behind. It worked after a fashion. Casavir was happy to rush forward from his position in the back of the group to clear each room when it was asked of him. With rotating the person furthest back to lead the way, it ensured that there were already two people in place to provide cover for whomever was leading. _It would have worked better if Casavir had a bow as well, but this will have to do for now, at least until I can get him a bow._

The one thing that she absolutely could not, would not, stand was Bishop being an ass to Casavir as they pressed further into the barrow and were changing their order. Bishop made a game of seeing how close to Casavir he could get while trying to shoot the draugr and skeletons. More than once, she thought that she could hear the scrape of the arrowhead against Casavir’s armor before the enemy fell. She refused to run to Casavir and check that he was okay, certain that it would only give Bishop a reason to continue such horrendous treatment of her poor knight. 

_I will show him why this is a bad idea_. She fiddled with her braid as if the action gave her the strength and resolve to do what she needed. The next time that Bishop got ready to take the shot, she would take her chance. As Bishop nocked and drew, Hildr braced herself. In the moment that Bishop released the arrow Hildr stepped in the way. She felt the arrow tear through the muscles of her upper arm as it flew past her and clattered to the floor. She knew it was a bad idea, but didn’t realize just how furious Bishop would be until it was too late. A second arrow from Bishop as well as a blow from Casavir took care of the last enemy in the chamber, and before she knew it Bishop was rounding on her. 

Bishop pushed Casavir aside to keep the other man from getting to Hildr. He backed her up against the wall of the cavern, one hand was next to her head, the other next to her chest. “Don’t ever do that again, wench.” He almost yelled it at her. “I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to you.” The second half was much softer, as if meant for her alone. Hildr could tell that he was close to breaking, the worry was plain on his face.

She leaned her forehead against his to try and ease some of the worry. She thought she heard the words that Bishop wasn’t saying. _Bishop didn’t know what he would do if he were the one to ever hurt me_. Hildr was grateful that she didn’t step the whole way in front of Bishop’s arrow. If just the deep gouge on her arm was enough to make Bishop react like this, any more severe wound would cause a real reaction. Having an arrow lodged in her shoulder like the one had been in Bishop’s shoulder when Casavir first joined them would probably break the ranger.

Casavir cleared his throat from where he was standing a few steps away from them, a healing spell forming in his hand as he came closer to Hildr. Bishop tensed, almost as if he didn’t trust Casavir to heal her. Casavir reached out gently to cast it on her lacerated arm. The skin and muscles knitted back together almost instantly. All of the pain was instantly gone. _I will have to mend my shirt later._

“It is a simple enough spell to teach, if you would want to learn.” He was shifting his weight between his feet. “I could teach you if you would want.” He was scratching the back of his neck and looking away. _He must not want to put any of us in danger to teach a spell._ But she had a feeling that he might make an exception if it meant Bishop would be the target, especially now that it was Bishop’s arrow that had hurt her.

“Thank you, Cas. I would appreciate it.” She turned back to face Bishop, still standing in front of her, still caging her in his arms. “Would that help your nerves? Then I can heal you the next time you decide to do something stupid as well.” She rubbed his side lightly to make sure he knew that he was still holding her pushed up against the wall of the cavern. 

“Fine.” He sounded resigned over this development. _I bet that he would be happier to have me just agree to not do anything stupid to protect Casavir from his childish antics_. She rubbed his side again and pushed him away from her gently. 

“We still have to find the treasure that was noted in the journal. Let’s go. It can’t be that much further.” The change of topic should have been enough to change Bishop’s mood, but he still had a look of worry around his golden eyes. 

The next room was the treasure room. Hildr stepped around the chest in the middle of the floor as Bishop started to undo the trap. There was a dragon wall in this barrow as well. She didn’t even notice the yells from Casavir or Bishop as she crossed that narrow bridge. The curved wall called to her, drawing her closer and closer. A whisper light touch of fingertips on her forearm was all that she needed to let her know that Casavir was close behind her. 

“My lady?” _He must not be able to see the blue light or hear the faint music that seems to call to me and draw me to these tall curved dragon walls either._ She stopped when she was close enough to the wall that she could reach out and brace herself against the carved words above the one that seemed to glow with a beautiful blue-white light.

She felt the word fill her, and she understood the word’s meaning. She shook her head, clearing the fog that came with this understanding. _I have to remain myself at these times, I cannot let myself become a dragon_. “Yes, Cas? Is Bishop done?” She pulled her hair over her shoulder and tugged on her braid weekly before twirling it in her fingers. 

She felt one of his hands heavy on her waist, turning her so that she would be facing him. “Are you alright, my lady? We tried to call out to you, but you walked over here, and there was nothing that we could say or do to you that would rouse or dissuade you.” He had his gauntlet off and was stroking her cheek with his other thumb, as if trying to check her temperature. She gave him a weak smile, and kissed the inside of his wrist. 

“Will you teach me how to heal myself first? I think that would make both of you feel better.” She gave him a weak grin, sure that it did not look completely genuine on her right that moment, but it had to be better than nothing. She realized she was playing with her hair again and tossed the braid over her shoulder.

A small grin touched his lips. “If that is what you wish, my lady, consider it done. I would rather not have to hurt anyone to teach you to heal another person, at least not just yet.” His eyes seemed to flicker back to where Bishop was approaching, and any doubt that Casavir would not make Bishop pay for how he had hurt her earlier was gone. There was definitely some anger in his beautiful blue eyes, even if he did have a blank expression back on his face. “But I will not harm you so that you may learn to heal yourself, either.”

Bishop wrapped an arm around Hildr’s waist, forcing Casavir back from where he had been. “Are you ready, ladyship?” He purred the question into her ear, full of innuendo to make Casavir back off. 

“Yeah, let’s go. We have learning to do, Bishop. Do you have a gift for your teacher?” She leaned into Bishop as if to make sure that he knew that she was teasing him, but she did expect him to learn as well as he could. Thankfully, there were no more draugr in the barrow on the way out. It was almost heartbreaking when they were finally out of the deepest parts of the barrow, and found themselves in that small living space again. 

Unfortunately, that good fortune ended when they left the barrow and they were set upon by three bandits. Any advantage that the bandits had in surprise was quickly lost due to their disorganization. Bishop, Casavir, and Hildr took flanking positions, and in short order the bandits were dead. The fight did not even make it out of the curved entryway to the barrow, and Hildr did not bother to try and move the bodies from where they fell. The three of them had only a few scratches to show for the fight. 

As Casavir readied himself to heal Hildr, she held up a hand to stop him. “What do I have to do to heal myself?” Casavir could feel the small smile on his lips as he rummaged in his satchel for the healing scroll for her. He waited for her to read the scroll quickly. When she looked back up at him, he nodded and cast the spell on himself. After a few tries, and a few re-reads of the spell, she managed to heal the scratch that she had received. 

Bishop had drunk a spare health potion by the time that either of them turned to see what condition he was in after the skirmish. He watched the ribbons of healing lights envelope the both of them in turn. He only shrugged as he walked back to the inn. _I know that I cannot do magic, there is no reason to try and fail, only to let that damned Paladin gloat. Time for a drink, or six. I will just sit at the inn and wait for them to come back in for the night. Hildr will be mine tonight. All mine tonight and every night._

Some time later found Hildr sitting on the ground behind the inn, the spell book from Casavir on her lap. Her brow furrowed, and a frown on her face in concentration. She had her braid over her shoulder again, and was playing with the edges, curling them between her fingers.

Casavir didn’t want to stay inside when it was nice out, and with Hildr not at the inn, he had no reason to stay near Bishop any longer than he had to. He joined her on the ground, sitting back on his heels as he knelt behind her.

“Do you need help, my lady?” His hands were on her shoulders, and he was peering down at her. She noticed that his knees were on either side of her hips, even if he did not seem to notice. She leaned back into his chest, certain that he would not push away from her if he thought he was keeping her upright. 

“I think I just need practice. Do you think Bishop would be willing to take one for the team and help out?” She fluttered her lashes at Casavir when she looked back at him and asked, almost certain that he would agree. 

“Only if all you would be healing for him is that bruise, and maybe a hangover.” Casavir muttered darkly. _I guess he doesn’t want to get even with Bishop for hurting me, at least not now. Well, I did step in front of that arrow to protect him, and he knows it_. 

“He wouldn’t ask that. He knows why he got that bruise, and it is meant to be a reminder.” Her voice was icy cold, and while she wasn’t happy that she sounded like that, she needed to make sure that Casavir didn’t try to heal Bishop either. _Not that Bishop would let Casavir that close if he could help it, and Bishop would certainly not accept it._

She closed the spell book with a sigh and shifted onto her side in the long grass behind the inn. It was peaceful and quiet this close to the river in Ivarstead, and they were sure to not be disturbed as long as they were back here. She absently played with the grass, looking back over her shoulder at Casavir. “Should we add healing to the practice games? It may be helpful to practice in real time and in real settings.” She laughed quietly after a moment. “Then I wouldn’t have to hurt either you or Bishop to have a practice subject.” She rolled onto her back and was looking up into the clear sky above her, her hands resting below her breasts.

Casavir only smiled in response to her at first. His nose suddenly itched, remembering how she had hit him. _Maybe teaching her healing would be in all of our best interests after all, even if I do prefer to use it as a reason to be close to her. Maybe one day I will need her to heal me as well. Hopefully not, but if the day ever comes, I will be grateful that I taught her._ He moved to her side, not wanting to be far from her. “As you wish, my lady. But perhaps we should wait until you are more experienced before we move up to actually dueling.” _I doubt you would be much pleased if Bishop or I fill each other with holes and you couldn’t heal us both._ “For our safety, as much as yours.”

She smiled, as if hearing what he was not saying. He didn’t want to have to worry about her not being able to heal the both of them, even if he could heal himself. “Agreed. At least for now.” 

She looked up into Casavir’s eyes above her. In his tawny face, his sky blue eyes probably seemed to glow especially with the clear sky behind him, and with a halo of fading sunlight around his head. He was concerned for a moment before he relaxed and sat back more comfortably to smile at her again. He was certain that he looked like one of the divines to her right then, based on her adoring gaze. 

_If not for my vows… No! But just one kiss… Absolutely not_ . He caught her hand as she raised it up to his cheek. _My dear sweet lady, will you ever know how much being this close to you is testing my vows. And if you would have me without my vows, I would only be too happy to be yours._ He kissed the back of her hand before rising and helping her up as well. “It is starting to get dark, my lady. Shall we?” 

Bishop had ordered food for them when they rejoined him. He knew better than to order dinner for just himself and Hildr, and there were three meals, as well as three ales, waiting on the table he was at when Hildr and Casavir returned, even if he knew full well that Casavir didn’t drink if he could help it. Hildr was also happy to see that he had gotten a deck of cards from Willhelm with their dinners and pocketed the cards as Casavir went to get a tea. Once they were done eating, she started teaching them the rules to a few simple games of cards. She also talked about her desire to split her time between the two of them. 

“I want to avoid any repetition of what happened in Whiterun. Splitting my time between the two of you should help accomplish that, right?” They both nodded in agreement, and seemed to at least accept the arrangement to some degree. Casavir, surprisingly, looked almost as put out at the idea as Bishop did. She continued to deal cards to the both of them for some time. Bishop seemed to relish the gambling that went with the game of cards, and Casavir seemed to play along to make her happy. After a few hands, Casavir seemed to win considerably more often than he lost.

Casavir even seemed to enjoy Bishop’s confusion as to how this saintly Paladin would be so good at something so vulgar and common as cards. Hildr had figured out he was counting cards. Observing an opponent and knowing your surroundings should be something that they were both skilled at, but Casavir seemed to be better at keeping track when it came down to it. 

“So what shall we play for?” Hildr gave each of them a devious grin in turn, as she flicked a card at each of them across the table from each other. “With all of our gear stowed in the stables, why don’t we play for our rooms?” She flicked another card at each of them, “You two can play for who is sleeping with me tonight.” She flicked a third card at each of them, and watched them in the lengthening silence. 

Casavir gave her an unreadable look. Bishop looked as if he would knock the table over at just the idea that Casavir would get to spend the night with her instead. Neither of them were looking at their cards as she dealt them out, but Casavir was bending the corner of his cards with his thumb as he held them flat against the table. He was thinking again, and Hildr could almost see him working through the proposition. 

Bishop started to complain, all indignation at the idea. “Princess, you can’t possibly expect -” 

“Agreed.” Casavir rumbled his answer with a raised eyebrow at Bishop. 

“Excellent.” _Casavir has been counting cards for the past few hands now, there is no other explanation. He knows his odds, and is working through all of this. Will he play to win or to lose?_ She looked at Bishop on her other side. _And Bishop doesn’t realize what is going on yet. This is going to be fun_. 

Hildr passed out another hand to keep the game going. And another. And another. And another. When it almost became apparent what was going on, and Bishop was so far in the lead this game that there would be no way that Casavir would be able to catch up for a few hours, Hildr declared Bishop the winner. Bishop had the audacity to start to gloat, but a look and a tightening of her left fist stopped that immediately when we saw it. Bishop leaned back slightly, as if to make sure that he would be out of reach, not that she would ever hit him again. 

“Go ahead Bishop. I will be there in a moment.” She spoke to Bishop beside her in a soft sultry tone, but never broke eye contact with Casavir. She watched Bishop out of the corner of her eye, and waited until she heard the door close before she leaned across the table and confronted Casavir. “You did that on purpose. I shouldn’t have let you continue to count cards like that.” When he didn’t deny it, but only blushed, she nodded and continued. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell him that you lost intentionally. Bishop won’t say it, but from him… Thank you.” She squeezed Casavir’s hand that was still on the table, and followed Bishop to their room for the night, not once looking back to see the startled and relieved look on Casavir’s face as he grabbed the remaining key and went to his room.


	10. High Hrothgar

They climbed the 7000 steps slowly, still tired from the night before. As much fun as the three of them had playing cards, they probably should have retired earlier and gotten more sleep. It was as cold and miserable of a walk as Hildr had remembered it being the last time she walked the steps. _Back when it was only Bishop and I_. Hildr was happy to let Bishop run ahead of her and Casavir, even if it meant that Bishop would be able to play tricks on the two of them when they caught up with him. She remembered the snowball fight that they had had as well. _It was a better time then. At the very least it was an easier time then_. She absentmindedly fingered the ends of her braid.

“My lady?” His gentle question roused her from her wistful thoughts.

She shook her head as if to dislodge the thoughts and sweet memories she had. “Sorry, Cas. What?”

“No need to apologize, my lady. I was asking if you knew what all we should expect when we get to High Hrothgar.” He was nervous about meeting such infamous peoples as these reclusive Greybeards. “I have read about them, but I am still not sure what I should expect.”

He was so cute when he was nervous and flustered. She rubbed a hand down the inside of his forearm. She felt him go rigid for a second before he relaxed under her touch. She was happy to see that her touch did soothe him somewhat, and was happy to let her hand linger if it would help him stay this calm.

“Don’t worry, Cas.” She cooed to him as she was running her hand up and down his forearm now, slowly but with a firm touch. “They will like you. And if they don’t, I will protect you.” She giggled and looked up at him with a winning smile. “Promise.” She punctuated that last by grabbing his hand and giving it a tight squeeze.

She didn’t care right then if Bishop would be mad at her and Casavir for holding hands. When she didn't feel his fingers intertwine with hers she looked up and saw another blush cover from his neck to his hairline. She was wondering if she had overstepped herself this time, and hesitantly started to remove her hand from his. To her surprise, and relief, he held her hand tight and then squeezed her hand in turn.

“Thank you, my lady. I hope it does not have to come to that, but I shall follow your lead if it does.” He sounded the same as he had in Solitude when he had first agreed to follow her. _Back when Bishop came and crashed the Grand Crystal Ball._ He surprised her by kissing the back of her hand. 

They continued up the path for some time, still holding hands, before they met up with Bishop and Karnwyr, both waiting for them. Bishop was cleaning his dagger, crouched over the remains of a butchered goat, Karnwyr sitting at Bishop's side. One withering look at their clasped hands was all that it took for Casavir to release his grip on her hand, but she gave his hand a squeeze before slowly releasing him.

“Figured the hermits might like some fresh meat, and if they don’t it would be nice to have something hot to eat.” _And he knows how I prefer to eat fresh meat to the salted meats of our provisions_. Bishop gave her a dashing smile, knowing that he meant the meat for just the two of them, and perhaps Karnwyr too.

“Such a sweet idea, Bishop. I didn’t know that you had it in you,” she said, teasing him.

Within two heartbeats he was striding towards her like a predator. “That’s not the only sweet idea that I have had recently, ladyship.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and drew her closer to him. “Would you like me to tell you some more of them?” He almost whispered it in her ear, making her shiver from something other than the cold wind whipping around them. She returned his grasp by wrapping her arm around his back. She turned back to Casavir with a sad smile, but made no effort to pull away from Bishop’s grasp.

Casavir gave her a nod of acceptance before he watched the two of them stride away, arms around each other. He had understood the reasoning of why she was splitting her time between the two of them, but that did not mean that he liked the idea in practice. _Why? She couldn’t be yours. No matter how badly you want it. But I could be hers, for as long as she would want me to be hers._

 _Fool. Like you would let her go once you were hers…You would not have even let go of her hand if not for Bishop… And how do you know for sure she would even want to be yours? What indications has she given you that she is unhappy with her current companion? That night in Whiterun should have shown you the truth in that._ He shuddered remembering hearing the two of them together. With a sigh he trudged on in the snow, not only shivering from the cold and snow. 

Hildr was grateful to make it to High Hrothgar in good time. The cold didn’t bother her or Bishop due to their Nord blood, but she was sure that Casavir was cold, no matter that he had several layers on in addition to his armor. His eyes may betray some Nord blood, but he certainly did not have enough to linger outside as long as either of them could. She suspected he had more Redguard heritage, due to his speed in the practice ring as well as his beautiful rich dark skin. 

Casavir stopped in awe of High Hrothgar as soon as he saw it looming up above him. Reading about such a structure and seeing it were very different things. For such a massive stone structure to be built this far above the snow line spoke of some great purpose for the building, some higher reason to have it here than just to have it here. It was not until Hildr grabbed his hand that he realized that he had stopped. She gave him a smile and led him in after her. They all stopped as soon as they were inside. Even with the fires burning in there, it took time for their eyes to adjust to the dark.

Hildr noticed Aringar moving directly towards her, and she stepped forward quickly to meet him in the center of the hall, the horn she had been sent after in hand. “Master Aringar, I have returned the horn as you have requested. What else do you require of me?” Hildr made a short bow to the man as she addressed him.

“Come, you will be welcomed by all of the Greybeards. Let us see if you can withstand our combined voices.”

Hildr noticed the other masters slowly entering the main hall. They each took up a place at a point of the diamond in the floor of the main hall. She quickly crossed back to where Bishop and Casavir stood, and quickly removed her pack, cloak, and weapons. Bishop gave her a long hug and a chaste kiss on the lips when she had dropped her things onto the floor, while Casavir gave her a quick hug and a kiss on her forehead when she turned and faced him. She motioned them further away from the doors where they had stood before going to stand in the middle of the four Greybeard masters. She fiddled with her braid for a moment before looking back over at her companions. Casavir gave her a smile, and she looked like he had given her some measure of confidence and strength. She tossed her braid back over her shoulder before she drew herself up and squared her shoulders before the Greybeards.

_Gods, she looks so confident. My lady is the most beautiful, confident woman in all of Nirn. I …_

Casavir didn’t get to finish that thought. The floor shook underneath him, and it was all that he could do to hold on to the pillar he was standing next to before he fell. Looking over at Bishop, he was grateful to see that the ranger was no steadier, and was also braced against the wall. He looked up to see how Hildr was fairing, worried that he would have to try and run and save her. To his surprise, Hildr still stood in the middle of the four Greybeards looking for all the world like nothing was happening around her. She was unshaken by their combined voices

Casavir held on as tight as he was able for as long as he could, braced as he was in the entryway. The rough voices of the Greybeards made the entire hall shake, and the only word he understood was ‘Dovahkiin.’ The rumbling felt like it went on for an eternity, but soon it was over and he could relax.

Hildr looked over to make sure that both of her companions were in one piece, if they were not still standing. Mercifully they both seemed to have withstood the shock as it was. Casavir was looking at her with clear admiration, and she thought that she saw awe and worship in Bishop’s eyes. _But which is the more worrying stare?_ Karnwyr seemed to think that it was a game, and looked ready to keep playing.

Hildr bowed to three of the masters as they left the main hall, and approached Aringar. She bowed to him and spoke with him quickly before leading him over to where her companions stood. Aringar gave Bishop a brief welcome before being introduced to Casavir. Hildr gave him profuse praise in front of Aringar, and he felt that not all of it was completely honest. Once all of the introductions were done, Bishop cut back into the conversation.

“So, Master Aringar, what have you learned?” Bishop wrapped an arm around Hildr’s waist and pulled her against him. “What is happening to our sweet savior?”

“We have learned that this is not usually an issue that the Dragonborn suffers from, but it has been recorded in the histories before.” Aringar was nothing if not overly formal, and measured. He seemed to have not made any notice of the display Bishop was putting on, rubbing Hildr’s side with her close against him. “There is no mention of the extent of the reaction. The only note is that it passes. There are plenty of Dragonwalls, where the words of power are, that are rumored to have been guarded by dragons. Seek them out.”

Bishop and Casavir shared a look, Hildr saw. _It only made sense that they should both be worried about this; they were both likely to be at her side for the next few dragon battles. They will be more worried now if I know that there are places that I can be sure to find a dragon there. Eventually I will need to seek those places out, but there are other things to do first_.

“What should we do?” Casavir was, naturally, the one to try and figure out a strategy for what to do. Casavir placed a hand on Hildr’s shoulder as if to steady her, but she was certain that he meant to steady himself instead. 

“Eventually it passes.” With that Aringar bowed, turned, and left them to think about what he had said.

~~~~~

The three of them were in the middle of the floor, where she had stood for her greeting, trying to make a plan of what to do next. Hildr was laying on her stomach in the middle, with Bishop leaning over her possessively as if he was planning to pin her to the ground as soon as they were done. Casavir sat on her other side, his legs crossed in front of him, trying to ignore Bishop’s advances on his lady. Her map unrolled in front of them. They were trying to figure out how to get to the dragon walls when Aringar approached.

“Master Borri says that there is a storm coming. You should stay the night here, and leave in the morning. We have more than enough space for the three of you to remain with us.”

Quick glances between the three of them seemed to show that they were all in agreement that it was the best idea.

Aringar continued after seeing their looks of acceptance. “The only stipulation is that you be split up for the night. You men will sleep with us on one side of High Hrothgar, and Hildr will sleep on the other side alone.”

Hildr accepted before Bishop could disagree with the arrangement. It would be better than trying to climb down in a storm she argued after Aringar had left, and Bishop could eventually only relent, since she had already accepted for them.

~~~~~

Bishop laid on his back, still staring at the ceiling above him. He did not know how long he had laid there, but he knew that no matter what he would not be able to sleep. It had been so long since he had slept alone. _Not since I met Hildr_. He always shared a bed or bedroll with her when he could, except that night he found her abed with Casavir, or when she was on watch for the night when he could not talk her into letting him share her watch. Even on those nights she was never this far away from him. He scratched Karnwyr’s head absently. _It wasn’t the same_. He knew that he wouldn’t sleep until he was next to her. Bishop sighed, finally accepting that he needed her to be able to sleep. He sat up on his small stone cot. Thankfully all of the Greybeards seemed to be fast asleep. At least they were laying down and their breathing was even.

Bishop sighed again. He sat there dejectedly, his knees drawn up to his chest, finally making up his mind. He needed her to be able to sleep, and he was determined to sleep tonight. He swung his feet over the side of the bed, and froze. Casavir had turned his head from looking at the ceiling as well. The Paladin was looking right at him in the darkness. Bishop felt his shoulders slump and revised his plan slightly. In one steady movement he was next to Casavir, kneeling on the floor, a finger on his own lips, and his other hand clamped over Casavir’s mouth. Casavir gave him a nod, and Bishop removed his hand.

“I need her to sleep anymore.” Bishop was whispering to make sure that the Greybeards didn’t hear. He ran his hand through his hair, making it stick up at odd angles. “I am going to her. I figure if we grab all of the furs and bedrolls, we can make a pile and sleep there together.”

“Guessing I am invited, too?” Casavir was surprised to hear the plan, and that it may have included him.

“I figure you would either wake the old men, or you would try to fight me when you found out. I would never hear the end of it from Hildr for leaving you out.” Bishop sounded upset that those were his options.

“Then let’s go.” Casavir was rising and quietly stripping off the furs, blankets, and pillows from his bed before turning and going to the main hall. He was pleased to see that the fire was still burning, and arranged the furs he brought in front of it, before grabbing the furs and their bedrolls from the packs they had left there in the main hall as well. 

Bishop was following Casavir with his wolf close at his master’s heels. Bishop seemed to approve of the location that Casavir had picked, and added his armful of bedding.

Bishop had started to move towards the other wing of High Hrothgar before Casavir caught his arm. Bishop looked affronted at the action, and tried to shrug out of the other man’s grasp.

“Where do you think you are going, Bishop?” Casavir was whispering, afraid that his voice would carry even here and alert the Greybeards to what was going on. 

“To get her. I didn’t move out here to cuddle with you, Paladin.” Bishop sneered at him. _I am so close to having her in my arms again. I won’t let him take this away from me now._

“I’ll get her. It isn’t like she would get the wrong idea from me asking her to come sleep with me… us.” He blushed as he went on in his explanation. He went to find her without another word. Casavir could feel Bishop’s eyes burrowing into his back.

Hildr was laying on her back looking at the ceiling. She didn’t like to sleep alone anymore if she didn’t have to. It was much more pleasurable to spend a night under the covers with another, man or woman, even if nothing happened that would be considered inappropriate. She especially enjoyed the times that she had fallen asleep against Casavir. While he wouldn’t, or couldn’t, be as much fun as Bishop was, it was still nice to have her knight close against her. She knew what effect she had on her poor knight, treating him that way, but he never pushed her away, and never spoke out against it. She rolled over in her makeshift bed. _Maybe Cas even enjoyed it as well?_ He seemed to enjoy it, if how his body reacted was any indication. She tried to get comfortable where she was laying, but it was no use. She heard slow steady footsteps approaching her from the other side of High Hrothgar, and she sat up in her blankets, holding them tight to her chest.

“Cas?” She knew it was him even if he didn’t respond to her.

“Yes, my lady.” He edged closer to where she now sat in her makeshift bed, and knelt down closer than he normally would, she was sure. “Would you care to join me…” He cleared his throat, but still continued in a whisper. “Join us. We have moved to the main hall to be more comfortable, and would be honored to have you join us for the night.” A light rosy blush painted his cheeks. “It seems Bishop cannot sleep without you by his side.”

Hildr reached out and pulled his face closer and he closed his calm blue eyes. “And you?” She released him, surprised to see relief paint Casavir’s face, and what she thought sounded like a groan left his lips. Had Casavir the same manners as Bishop, he would have likely been in her bedroll with her right this second. _That is probably why Casavir was sent and not Bishop, come to think of it._ She felt Casavir’s large hand press into the side of her makeshift bed, as he leaned further towards her. He was close enough now that she could almost feel his warm breath cascading over her skin.

“Me, my lady?” He sounded confused that she would worry about him in this. “I would sleep better knowing that you were comfortable.” It wasn’t exactly a lie, she could tell, but there was much more that he wasn’t saying. _Did he prefer to sleep beside me as well?_

“Bishop can wait a moment. First, I would like a little time with you.” Her arms quickly went around his neck and he froze for a single heartbeat before he relaxed into her and wrapped his arms tight around her as well. She played with the short hairs at the back of his neck and breathed in his clean scent. She ran her hands down his arms, and kissed his shoulder. It felt good to feel his muscles, to feel him as human, as a man, not just some tool of the divines on Nirn. She felt his hands moving against her back in return, and she smiled into his shoulder at some of the effects she was having on him.

“Alright. Shall we? I am sure that Bishop is waiting for us.” She made no real move to let go of him completely, and was happy that he did not immediately either. She kissed his shoulder again, and pushed him slightly away with her hands on his strong biceps. He blushed as if just realizing that he was reluctant to let her go.

They quickly gathered up all of her things and rejoined Bishop in the main hall. Bishop and Casavir quickly added her furs, blankets, pillows, and bedroll to the pile. The three of them almost fell exhausted into the bed that they had made.

Their heads were all towards the fire, Hildr laid on her side between the two men, her long hair in one loose braid and coiled under her head. Casavir, in front of her, laid facing her, his arms wrapped around himself. Bishop, behind her, was also on his side with his arm under her neck and back under her forehead, his other arm around her waist. He was nothing if not possessive, but right now she was happy for his warmth. She wove her fingers through his and pulled his arm tighter around her waist. Bishop shifted closer to her back obligingly, and Hildr thought that she felt his lips graze along her spine. Hildr changed which arm she held onto Bishop with, and grabbed his forearm near his elbow instead. She could feel Bishop’s breath on the back of her neck, and was happy to feel it quickly even out as he fell asleep behind her. Since she could not feel Karnwyr on her legs, she figured that the wolf was asleep against Bishop’s back.

 _Good, that is one happily asleep, now for the other_.

Casavir already had his eyes closed, and for a moment she was worried that he had already fallen asleep. She reached her hand slowly towards Casavir’s chin, and wiggled her fingers to make sure that he felt them in the furs. She ran the pad of her thumb over his soft full lips. At that gentle touch, Casavir’s eyes shot open. She traced the smile on his lips with her thumb again, and was surprised when he planted a gentle kiss against the pad of her calloused thumb. Casavir gently took her hand in his own, before leaning down to kiss each of her fingers in turn, never moving his gaze from her eyes. She squeezed his hand so that he would not remove his hand from hers, and Casavir smiled. He returned the squeeze, and rubbed his thumb along her pinky and side of her hand. His breath was hot on her hand. She sighed into their grasped hands, and fell asleep with a smile on her lips.

That was how the Greybeards found them the next morning, sprawled on the floor in front of the fire in the main hall. The two men with their arms still twined with the Dragonborn, doing their best to keep her safe from everything that they could. The Dragonborn holding tight to something that would ground her to this world.

~~~~~

The next morning, they walked down the 7000 steps, and Hildr hoped that she would be able to count the total number of times she would make this hike on one hand. She had almost wondered a few times why the Greybeards would insist on living up on the side of the tallest mountain. Security and privacy, obviously, but there had to be another way. _Didn’t the College in Winterhold have some sort of a test for all who made their way there? Couldn’t that work for the old men?_ It was of no consequence to her, especially since the Greybeards had given her no quest or reason to return to them anytime too soon. She let her mind wander as she walked. 

Hildr had had one of, if not the best night of sleep in her life last night. She had awoken in much the same position that she had fallen asleep in on the floor. Casavir was awake, based on how he was smiling and rubbing her hand with his thumb, even if his crystal blue eyes were still closed. Just as she had last night, she squeezed his hand, and he had returned the squeeze. It was only after he had squeezed her hand back that he must have realized that meant she was awake as well now. That was when the rosy blush colored his tawny cheeks, and his too bright eyes opened to see her watching him. His smile for her was dazzling, only slightly undercut by that blush on his cheeks, probably since he had woken up with her and still holding her hand tight in his. He slowly and regretfully pulled away from her to let her get up.

As Casavir pulled himself out of the pile of blankets and furs they were in, Hildr felt Bishop stir behind her. His fingers slowly started rubbing small circles first, as if testing that they were still attached before his hand started to move across her hips and belly. His touch was firm and probing. He was obviously awake, and had been waiting for Casavir to get up before he started moving against her.

“Good Morning, Princess.” He moaned the words as he ran his hand down the outside of her thigh. Hildr also thought that she heard him murmur thank you as well. “Do you think the Greybeards will mind if we have some fun? Not like all of them would say anything if they did object.” She felt his teeth as he smiled into her back.

She rolled onto her back, and Bishop was on top of her before she could completely react. He kissed her lips and had his forearms on either side of her face. He was straddling her as well, still under the blankets. She kissed him back and playfully nipped his lower lip to get him to get off of her, and let her get up.

He sat back on his heels, and she slipped her legs gently from underneath him. She looked around, and was relieved to see that Casavir was not in the room with them. The giant bruise that had covered Bishop’s face in sickly colors had already peaked and was finally starting to fade away. A pang of guilt always hit her when she saw that bruise, remembering giving it to him, as well as how it had felt like retribution the very moment that she struck him and marred his cheek when she gave it to him. She didn’t want to have to do something like that ever again, and would do whatever she needed to avoid a confrontation between her two companions again.

In short order, they had cleaned up the giant pile of furs and remade the beds that the Greybeards had made up for all of them. Their bags were packed, and there were some additional provisions left out for them by the Greybeards as well.

Their trip back down the mountain was uneventful for which Hildr was incredibly grateful, and it was a wonder that all three of them walked together. They talked the whole time as they walked down the mountain, making plans for what they would do next and how to do it. When they reached Ivarsted, they collected their horses as well as the supplies that they had left behind on their climb and took off at an easy ground-eating pace. They had agreed that they would start with moving towards Windhelm, before turning to approach Kynesgrove. They had thought that they would be ready when they reached the small town, but they could not have been more wrong.


	11. Blades in the Dark

It was storming as they approached Kynesgrove that morning. The storm had come on them as if out of nowhere, snow blowing to blind them, and wind almost strong enough to knock them off their horses. They pushed their horses to a run as soon as they were close. There were people running everywhere, and they did their best to stay wide of all of them. With the snow blowing in their eyes, and the clouds blocking out the sun, they had to hope for the best as they rode. At the top of the path around the town, and were immediately confronted with the massive black dragon that Hildr had seen at Helgen. She vaulted from Mist, and ran the rest of the way to the dragon and dragon mound. She had her bow out and was quickly loosing multiple arrows at the black dragon that was just seemingly hovering there and bellowing towards the dragon mound. She did not notice Bishop run to her side and join her with his bow until the ground shook. Her head swiveled and she hit him when she flung out her arm to steady herself. Bishop must have grunted when she accidentally hit him, but she only barely noticed when he steadied her. She threw her bow away and grabbed her sword, ripping her hand and a half sword free of the scabbard.  _ If my bow is damaged, I could always get another _ .

There was now another dragon on the ground, materializing around the bones that crawled out of the dragon mound and towards her. She charged. Screaming. Her sword held out. She slashed and shouted. She barely registered Casavir charging and slashing on one side. Delphine doing the same on the other side. Bishop held back and was feathering the dragon from a short distance away. The fight raged around her. She hoped that she did not hurt any of those fighting alongside her when she shouted, but she could not spare the thoughts for any of them right now. She fell into an easy rhythm quickly enough. She would run to the dragon when it landed, and before it looked like the dragon would take off again, she would shout at the dragon trying to stun it and keep it grounded. She, Casavir, and Delphine slashed at every inch they were able when the dragon landed, and trusted Bishop to fill the dragon with arrows when it circled overhead. At some point in their desperate battle the sky had cleared and it was no longer storming around them.

Eventually it seemed that the dragon was tired, since when it did take off and circle, it was never as high as the last circle above them. They were winning this. When the dragon finally fell to the ground and skidded in the dirt, Hildr ran forward to land a killing blow, but Delphine reached the dragon first, and jumped onto the dragon’s head. Delphine hacked and slashed at the dragon with all of her might.

As the dragon stilled, Hildr felt a wave of cold wash over her.  _ This is always the worst part of all of this. _ Even if she did know what to expect after killing a dragon, it did not make it any easier to stomach. She was surprised to feel two strong arms reach around her, one arm around her chest, a hand on her shoulder, and one around her waist. Gauntlet hands held her tight against a solid metal breastplate behind her.  _ Casavir! Mara bless you Casavir. _ She stuck her sword into the ground so that she wouldn’t hurt her protector, or lose it in what was about to happen.

“I have you, my lady. I will keep you safe. Promise.” The voice was strong and confident in her ear before the dragon began to disintegrate. She turned to face him, and wrapped her arms around his neck, so she would be easy to hold when she did eventually collapse. She looked deep into his kind crystal blue eyes, too bright in his beautiful tawny colored face. She could feel Casavir’s strong hands grip her tight, and his fingers started to claw into her as she leaned heavily against him. The lights began to envelop the two of them, and she felt the darkness take her.

Casavir noticed that the dragon was coming in to land, but it didn’t look like it would be a controlled descent. He looked around and located Hildr. He made a mental note of where she was, and where all she could be once the dragon landed. He noticed the other woman, Delphine, run forward and attack. Delphine jumped on the dragon’s head and slashed at it. Instead of rushing to battle to help a comrade, he sheathed his sword and ran to Hildr’s side. He wrapped his arms around her from behind, ready to catch her when she slumped forward and carry her to a safe place to recover.

“I have you, my lady. I will keep you safe. Promise.” He was shocked and elated that she turned in his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck in return. Hildr locked eyes with him, and he felt himself get lost in the depths of her worried green eyes.  _ My lady. I will always protect you _ . He gripped her tighter and felt his fingers move towards claws. She leaned against him heavily, and he thought he felt his heart jump at the idea of her being that close to him, no matter her condition.

He buried his face in her long hair, and kissed the bronze strands that enveloped his face. He would stay here as long as he needed to until she awoke. Bishop came up beside him, and gently placed a hand on Casavir’s arm. Casavir jumped at the touch, and gripped Hildr tighter to himself, as he rubbed her back. He didn’t remember falling to his knees, but here he was, kneeling in the mud, and holding his lady.

“Let’s at least get her somewhere comfortable. Follow me.” Bishop led Casavir over towards the town, and showed him where he had stowed their gear and tied their horses. He apparently made himself useful when the dragon fell out of the sky, as the furs and bedrolls were laid out for Hildr to be put down.

“Why don’t you go get Delphine? I will keep watch over her until you get back.” Bishop crouched down,  wiping the mud from her legs, and  covering Hildr up to her neck in the furs. 

Casavir looked down at Hildr laying there wrapped in all of their furs, seemingly peacefully asleep. He stroked her sun tanned cheek and curled a lock of her long brassy-red hair behind her ear as he nodded to Bishop. They needed to talk to Delphine. Hildr was promised some answers when she agreed to this venture. That was what she had said as they were leaving Riverwood all those days ago.

Casavir gathered up their discarded weapons and found Delphine examining the dragon skeleton where it lay in the clearing. She looked at him quizzically. She must not have seen what happened.

“She is the dragonborn.” Awe and reverence colored her voice. Casavir hoped that most of it was from having just taken down a dragon, and not just the fact that his lady was this mythical hero of all of Tamriel.

Casavir only nodded in answer to the woman. This fight had taken more out of him than he had first realized.  _ Or is it partially worry while she is in this condition? Please come back to me, my lady. _

“Where is she?” The awe and reverence was giving way to concern. Delphine must have finally realized that Hildr was not there, and worried that she was hurt. 

“This way.” Casavir thought he did a good job keeping the weariness out of his voice, and led Delphine back to where Bishop and Hildr were.

If Delphine was surprised to see Hildr unconscious and nestled in a mound of furs, she didn’t say anything about it. Bishop rose from where he had been pulling her hair into a single braid for her, and took Hildr’s bow from Casavir to replace the bowstring. He settled back down by Hildr’s side.

“Alright, ask away. Anything you want to know.” Delphine looked at the two men, a defeated look on her face. She would have rather had this conversation with the dragonborn directly.

“Who are you, and what do you want with her?” Casavir was the first to ask, concerned for the safety of the woman wrapped in all their furs. As with after the last dragon attack, he did not move his gaze from where she was, afraid that she may not be there still when he looked back to her.

“I am one of the last members of the Blades. A very long time ago, the Blades were dragon slayers, and we served the dragonborn, the greatest dragon slayer. For the last 200 years, since the last dragonborn emperor, the Blades have been searching for a purpose. Now that dragons are coming back, our purpose is clear again. We need to stop them.” Delphine stood there in front of the two of them, and was sounding for all of Nirn like she was standing in her own Inn, lecturing Orgnar for not cleaning the tankards thoroughly. 

“Who are the Blades?” It was Bishop who asked, lost in what was happening around them. He had given up on re-stringing Hildr’s bow, and must have decided that it was not worth trying to fix it. Casavir made a mental note to buy Hildr another as soon as he was able.

“Exactly, nobody even remembers our names these days. We used to be known across Tamriel as the protectors of the Septim emperors. Those days are long gone. For the last 200 years, we’ve been searching for the next dragonborn to guide and guard as we are sworn to do, but we never found one, until now.” Delphine gestured with her chin to where Hildr lay between them.

“What do you know about the dragons coming back?” Casavir was certain that if this woman was a member of such an organization, that she would have a decent idea of what was going on now. He settled down next to where his lady was laying.  _ She has to know something. There is no way that she would know this much and not know why these dragons are returning.  _

“Not a damn thing. I was just as surprised as you to find that big black dragon here.” Delphine had a troubled look on her old leathery face.  _ Well, so much for that. _

“Maybe that is the same one that she saw before?” Bishop mused, before noticing that both of them were now staring at him in disbelief. “She said something about seeing a black dragon when she was at the headsman’s block in Helgen. She failed to mention anything about size, but nobody had seen another dragon to compare it to.” Bishop shrugged and looked back down at Hildr wrapped in all of the furs.

“Interesting. Same dragon.” Delphine turned and paced a few steps before turning back to them. “Damnit, we are blundering around in the dark here. We need to figure out who is behind it all. We need to figure out who is behind the dragons. Our best lead is the Thalmor. If they aren’t behind it, they will know who is.”

“What makes you think the Thalmor are bringing dragons back?” Bishop looked thoroughly confused by what Delphine was going on about. Casavir remembered how at home Bishop had seen at the Inn in Riverwood, and wondered what all interactions he had with the innkeeper. This was surely something out of the ordinary for Bishop.

“Nothing solid, yet. But my gut tells me it can’t be anyone else.” Delphine started pacing again. “The empire had captured Ulfric. The war was basically over. Then a dragon attacks, Ulfric escapes, and the war is back on. And now the dragons are attacking everywhere, indiscriminately. Skyrim is weakened. The empire is weakened. Who else gains from that but the Thalmor?” Delphine had listed out each point on a different finger.

It made sense as Casavir figured, but it would have taken years for the Thalmor to have set up something like this to make sure that it worked.  _ If only Morlia were here. Maybe she would finally be of some use to me for once. Unlikely, but maybe. _ There was no way that the Thalmor could have done all of this work with so little heads up, could they?

“So… we need to find out what the Thalmor know about the dragons. Any ideas?” Casavir noticed the sarcasm in Bishop’s voice even if Delphine didn’t.

“If we could get into the Thalmor embassy, the center of their operations in Skyrim… The problem is it locked up tighter than a miser’s purse. They could teach me a few things about paranoia.” Delphine sounded like she was amused by the idea.

“So how do we get into the Thalmor embassy?” Casavir was wondering if this woman had all of her wits. She was talking about infiltrating such a place as if it were just a matter of course.  _ How could she be so calm about this idea? _

“I’m not sure yet. I have a few ideas, but I will need some time to pull things together. Meet me back in Riverwood. If you get there before I do, wait for me. I shouldn’t be too long. Keep an eye on the sky. This is only going to get worse.” She looked at the both of them, waiting for a response.

Bishop and Casavir exchanged a look before Casavir answered her. “Very well. In Riverwood then.”

Delphine looked at Hildr one last time before she set off, back towards Kynesgrove.

~~~~~ 

Once Delphine left, Casavir looked around, finally letting himself feel exhausted from the fight. They had settled themselves between two boulders while they waited there for her, he looked over to Bishop on the other side of Hildr. Neither had wanted to leave her side, and both of them had too much on their minds and too much to process. Delphine had given them answers to all of the questions they had asked. They both sat there for some time. Silent. Thinking. The whole day passed them by before they had realized it.

“Night is close to falling. We need to go.” Bishop rose as he spoke, and brushed himself off.

“Very well. How do you propose we move her? I don’t want to heal her to wake her up, and I doubt she would be able to ride in this condition.” Casavir was not about to suggest that he carry her in front of him on Justice.  _ There is no way that Bishop would agree to that. _

“Agreed. If you hurt her, Paladin…” A fire seemed to flash through Bishop’s eyes. A much clearer threat could not be spoken.

“Do you think there would be space here? Or Windhelm?” Casavir hoped that Bishop would agree to Windhelm. There would be more safety in the city, even if the ranger did hate being confined within city walls. 

Bishop sighed. “Sounds like we may as well go to the city. We can stay there longer, and there will be more supplies there.” After a moment, Bishop looked at Casavir. “You may want to carry her. I doubt that I could ride Kara or Mist with Hildr in my arms.” He shot Casavir a heated look. “I bet that feels good, doesn’t it? You win this round. Go.” Bishop was leaning back over Hildr in the next instant, kissing her forehead, and gathering her in his arms.

Casavir almost ran to Justice, checked his saddle girth, and was astride before Bishop lifted Hildr into his arms. He would do whatever it took to get Hildr back, and comfortable in the meantime.

“C’mon, ladyship. Come back to me _.” I will do anything for you. I just need you to tell me what it is, and you can consider it done. Gods, even marriage or a family if that is what you would want _ . He walked up onto one of the rocks that they had been nestled in while watching over her. Casavir walked his horse over to where Bishop was standing and holding his lady.

Bishop was happy to see Casavir was able to control his stallion with just his knees. He came close to the ledge that Bishop was standing on as he waited. Casavir reached out and was reluctantly passed Hildr. Bishop hated the idea of having to share her.  _ She is my woman _ .  _ I should be the one that took care of her. We had never needed this white knight before now. I could take care of her on my own.  _ But he would do this if it meant that he would get to have her back soon, as long as she was still his. Once he had passed Hildr, still swaddled in furs, off to Casavir he trudged off to ready Kara and Mist to ride after Casavir to Windhelm.

Casavir took Hildr gently, and held her in front of him in his saddle. She was still swaddled in all of their furs to make sure that she would stay warm and dry while they had waited for her to come back to them.  _ Come back to me, my lady. Please. _ Casavir was arranging her in front of him when he heard her let out a quiet moan. Casavir smiled and continued to rearrange Hildr in his arms, and pushed her braid back over her shoulder. He decided to tell her the plan, even if she was not fully awake, and would not remember.

“My lady? Don’t worry, we are taking you to Windhelm. We will shelter there for at least the night, maybe more, and we can make our plans when you are ready.” He paused and looked down into her kind eyes. “Please, go back to sleep. I have you. Bishop will be following us soon with both of your horses.”

Casavir felt her wiggle against him slightly, and clutched her closer to his chest in response. He had felt his cloak move, and figured it could only be Hildr wrapping her arm around him to hold him closer. It warmed his heart that she would want to hold him close in return. “No need for that, my lady. I have you, and I would not want you to get too cold.” He kissed the top of her head, as if in closing of the argument, and squeezed his knees to force his stallion to a trot.

She let go of him, and he tightened the blankets around her to try and prevent her from doing that again. It would do no good for her to get sick on top of whatever reaction she had to the dragon souls.  _ My reckless lady. _ He rode down the hill to Kynesgrove and waited for Bishop to catch up. Bishop was hurrying up next to him, riding Mist and guiding Kara, the mare he usually rode, now weighed down with all of their packs.  _ Mist must not be a trained warhorse then, or comfortable enough with this other rider to permit him alone to ride her _ .  Justice wouldn't let either of his companions near him, only Casavir. Hildr had tried to pat Justice’s nose once, she had told him, only to have the stallion stamp his hooves at her, and try to bite her fingers. The stallion had gotten a talking to for that when they made camp the night he had found out about it.

With a nod they took off towards Windhelm, Bishop leading the way.  _ He wants to get there first so that he can carry her to the inn, once we drop the horses at the stable. Very well. _

All too soon they had left their mounts at the stables. Bishop was waiting at Casavir’s stirrup when he arrived at the stables, his arms out to take Hildr. Casavir passed her down to him, if reluctantly. Bishop looked only too happy to have Hildr back in his arms. 

“Meet me in CandleHearth Hall.” With just those few words, Bishop was striding off, Hildr clutched to his chest in a bridal hold.

Casavir sighed as he dismounted. He handed the reins and a small pouch of septims to the groom that was waiting there. _ I would have run to catch up to Bishop, but that would be unbecoming of me as a Paladin. _ He took off at a brisk pace, and caught up with Bishop as he walked up the steps to the inn.

Casavir was certain that Bishop would have tried to get a room for just himself and Hildr if possible, but Casavir didn’t want to give Bishop that chance. _ I am not going to leave my lady alone with Bishop.  _ _ Not like this. Never like this _ .

“My good lady.” Casavir pulled the bartender’s attention before Bishop could. “A room for all three of us, please? Our companion is injured and needs her rest.” Bishop gave him a cross look, but didn’t say anything else to the bartender.

The bartender gave Casavir a startled look, as if finally registering that the three of them would all be one group. She led the way down the hallway to a room at the end, and motioned them inside after taking the coins from Casavir. There were beds along each of the three walls. Casavir quickly tossed his pack on the bed closest to the door to claim it.

“Put her in that one.” Casavir motioned to the bed on the far wall. “We can keep a better eye on her if she is sleeping in the bed between the two of us.”

“We don’t need you, Paladin. I can keep watch on her myself.” Bishop spat the words over his shoulder.

Casavir ignored the biting comment. He wouldn’t let the ranger’s comments bother him. He had agreed to get along with Bishop for his lady, and that was exactly what he planned on doing, no matter what. Sometimes it was just harder to manage than others.

“Bishop?” Hildr was stirring in the bundle of blankets in Bishop’s arms, before Casavir could even come up with a retort. “Play nice.” She admonished him softly, as if she did not have the energy for a firmer tone.

“Alright, sweetness. If you insist.” Bishop planted a sweet kiss on her temple as he laid her down on the bed that Casavir had indicated, and put his cloak on the remaining bed. “I’ll get us something to eat, and drinks.” Bishop seemed to storm out of the room, the clinking of a coin purse he was tossing in his hands to accompany him.

“How are you feeling, my lady?” Casavir asked, wanting to give her privacy as she got comfortable for the night, but reluctant to leave her side for even a heartbeat longer than was needed.

“Hot.” She chuckled faintly. “Help me?” Casavir looked over to see her squirming in the furs and bedroll they had wrapped her in for the journey.

“Of course, my lady.” He crossed the room to her so that she would not try and wiggle her way off of the bed and onto the floor. He knelt in front of her, and helped her into a seated position. He started to gently unwrap her. Before he knew it, Hildr had her arms around him and had planted a kiss on his tanned neck.

“Thank you, my valiant knight, for catching me. Again.” Her fingers were running through his smooth dark hair.  _ Please do not stop that, my lady. _ She kissed him again, this time on his cheek, before pulling back slightly.

“It was my honor, my lady. I mean. My duty, my lady.” A rosy blush was rising on his tawny cheeks, as he turned his face from her. She was thankful that his hands remained on her bed, to either side of her hips.

At that moment she noticed that she was still in her armor, and began to undress. “Care to help?” She gave Casavir a wicked grin and a playful wink. Casavir blushed a darker crimson, but for a wonder he did hold up his hands to help her. She guided his hands to her armor. His fingers quickly and delicately undid laces and buckles until her armor fell away from her. He took the pieces of armor and piled them on the trunk at the foot of her bed.

When he turned back to her, he found her standing in front of the bed where he had just been. She was swaying precariously where she stood, determined to take off her own boots.

“My lady. Allow me. Please.” Casavir was back in front of her in an instant, delicately pushing her back down onto the bed and the pile of now discarded furs. He kneeled in front of her again. She held up her legs, and he quickly removed her boots.

“Good boy.” She said teasingly as she ruffled his hair. His smile on anyone else would have indicated to her that she would have been in for an excellent time in just a few moments. She had seen that face on countless lovers before, and it always was a sign that she was about to be shown just how good he could be.  _ With Casavir however… _

“As you say, my lady.” He almost kissed the inside of her knee, and ran a finger up the back of her calf before settling back on his feet before her.

Bishop returned to the room just as Casavir settled back to look at her.  _ Damn him and his inconvenient timing. At least he brought food... _

Setting the tray on the table, Bishop turned to serve Hildr first. When Casavir didn’t move from his position in front of her on the floor, Bishop sat on her bed beside her. He was facing her, and began to try and feed her. Casavir went and got his bowl when he saw Bishop’s insistence, settling on his own bed to watch them. Hildr giggled at the attempt and let Bishop feed her for a little while, before finally insisting that he get something to eat as well.

Bishop acquiesced, and brought her a bottle of ale. “Something for what ails you, Princess. And there is far more where that came from.” Bishop settled back on her bed, sitting next to her as he ate as well.

“How long do we plan on staying?” Hildr said into her now empty bowl. She had the braid Bishop had done after the attack over her shoulder, and was starting to loosen it for the night. 

“Until you feel strong enough to carry on.” Casavir answered first.

“Delphine said to meet her back in Riverwood.” Bishop said almost at the same time.

She closed her eyes, and leaned back against the wall behind her. “Can we stay here for a few days? I would rather like to be off the road. We have been moving almost constantly since Solitude. I think I would like to sleep in a real bed tonight, and for a few more nights as well. For as long as we can afford it.”


	12. Wasted in Windhelm

“Whatever you say, ladyship.” Bishop hopped up from her bed, and grabbed another ale for her, as well as one for himself and sat on his own bed.

She stood again, steadier this time, Casavir saw, and rummaged through her bag. She pulled out a clean shift and dress, and pulled her shirt out of her fitted trousers. “Bishop, will you get me some more ale?” She looked over her shoulder at him. “Please?”

Bishop looked frustrated, but agreed and left to go get more for her to drink. “Cas, you may want to look away, but again, I won’t complain if you don’t.” She swayed her hips teasingly, chuckling when Casavir blushed and squeezed his eyes shut before turning away from her. She quickly stripped off her shirt and loosened her trousers before pulling on her clean shift. “I have my shift on if that is decent enough for you, Cas.” She pulled her dress on as well before pulling off her trousers, and then hopped back on her bed. “There. All changed. All safe to open your eyes.”

As if right on cue, Bishop returned with several ales for each of them. Teasingly, he offered one to Casavir, and rolled his eyes when Casavir refused.

“I will get myself a tea, thank you, Bishop.” He said it stiffly and formally. Hildr could almost feel the two of them starting to compete for her again. She didn’t want their tenuous peace to fall apart. She was enjoying both of them as well as their company and was not ready to admit defeat.  _ Not yet _ .

She silently drained another ale. Bishop had a devious grin on his face, and gestured for her to come join him on his bed. She opened another.  _ My third? _ And started on it when Casavir returned.

Casavir removed his armor, stripping down to just his shirt and trousers. He perched back on his bed and began cleaning his heavy armor, starting with his greaves. It was a methodical and precise practice. Hildr was mesmerized and caught herself staring at Casavir, obviously lost in his work. She had seen him be precise and methodical before, when brushing out and tending to his stallion, Justice.  _ When else would he be that precise? That gentle, deliberate hand. Would he use that on me? _

Bishop cleared his throat quietly, grabbing Hildr’s attention. He crooked a finger at her, and leaned back in his bed. She smiled, and got unsteadily to her feet. She hopped up into the bed with Bishop, sitting down by his feet. Bishop laid a calf on her lap, and gently nudged her elbow with his shin. She looked over to him to see that he was drinking again, wiggling his eyebrows at her, and she took another long sip of her ale, draining this bottle as well. She leaned forward to put the bottle on the ground, and it slipped from her fingers. She frowned at it.

“Are you alright down there, ladyship?” Bishop’s tone was mocking and playful. “Why don’t you come here?” He crooked a finger at her again to entice her to come closer.

She moaned slightly, and crawled up the bed next to him. “Yesss, Bishop?” She was slurring her words slightly, he was pleased to see, but she still purred the question at him.

He kissed her forehead as she got close to him, and was happy to have her almost entirely on top of his outstretched body. He looked over at Casavir, sitting across the room from them, and flashed a victorious grin at the Paladin. His grin grew larger as Casavir blushed even darker red and went back to cleaning his gauntlets now.

When he looked back to her, his heart started hammering away and it took him a few moments to completely catch his breath.

She had a tipsy smile on her lips, and even if her eyes were slightly bloodshot, she was still beautiful. The candlelight in the room seemed to make her hair glitter as it cast shadows on half of her face.  _ She is perfect. She was sent to save me. She is mine.  _ His hands were around her in an instant pulling her tight against him. Hildr did not need any more encouragement, and her mouth was on his before he could think. He kissed her back passionately, but knew he had to stop it before he got carried away with her. At least he had to stay in control until he got the knight out of the room.  The way she squirmed when he kissed her, it would have to be sooner rather than later. If his trousers were already unlaced, he would already be inside her.

He groaned as he pushed her away slightly. “Princess, as flattered as I am by your attention, not now. Your Paladin would kill me based on how he usually looks at me, and this is not helping.”

Casavir still was cleaning his armor from the other side of the room, but the look on his face was anything but attentive or thoughtful. It almost looked like he was fighting with himself to stay in the room and pretend that Bishop did not have his lady in his bed, and could claim her with very little effort on Bishop’s part. Casavir’s movements as he continued to clean his breastplate became slightly more erratic. 

Bishop still has a tight hold on her, and was not going to let go of her.  _ Fine, if Casavir didn't want to leave of his own accord, I will make him uncomfortable enough to force him out _ . “Almost looks like your little white knight could spit.” Bishop laughed at the very idea of the proper Paladin spitting. He went back in to kiss her, again, more passionately, before he realized she had tensed in his arms and was pushing away from him.

“Casavir. His name is Casavir.” She may have been slurring her words slightly when she last spoke to him, but her voice was clear and steady now.  She sounded almost dangerous now, like a viper. There also seemed to be a fire that burned in those seductive green eyes of hers. 

Bishop gave her a confused look. “Why does it matter what I call our soon to be ex-companion?” He didn’t understand why it would matter. She had never corrected him before. He tried to kiss her again. Before he knew it, she had moved both of her hands flat against his chest, and was pushing away from his grasp. 

“It matters to me.” Hildr was out of his grasp and half-stumbled out of his bed before he could react.  _ No! _ Too late he realized what she had wanted him to do. 

She crossed the room with unsteady swaying steps, and leaned into Casavir when she reached him. Casavir had quickly set down his armor when he saw her  first moving away from Bishop and towards him.

When she stopped in front of Casavir, he grabbed her hips to steady her. After a moment, he picked her up, still only holding her by her hips, and cradled her against his chest.  _ That may be forward of me, but Bishop deserves a taste of his own medicine right now _ . He was leaning her into him, and Casavir settled her on his lap, her legs draped over his knee. She wrapped her arms around him in response, and shot Bishop a look that could curdle milk.

“Drink this, my lady. It will help.” He was passing her his tankard of tea. A _ fter how quickly she drank those ales, she will need something else in her stomach _ . As she gulped down his tea, Casavir returned Bishop’s victorious grin. If looks could kill, the one that Bishop gave Casavir right then would have done the job. Bishop re-arranged himself in his trousers as he got up, and stormed out, presumably to go drown his sorrows.

When the door closed behind Bishop, Casavir left out a breath that he had not realized that he was holding. He did not believe that he would be so grateful that she stood up for him and corrected Bishop on his name. He pulled her against him as he leaned back against the wall.  _ I am not going to let her go, not yet. Damn my vows, but I will not let her go _ . 

“Thank you, my lady.” He kissed the top of her head gently in thanks. He did not know if he would be able to fully thank her for what she had just done for him.  _ She stood up for me, as well as saving my heart. She is far too good for me.  _ If nothing else, he would be content with just her standing up for him in that moment. He closed his eyes and stroked her hair in thanks.

Casavir felt the bed shift as Hildr repositioned herself straddling his lap, her dress riding up around her knees. She had pushed him further back on his bed so his back was against the wall. Before he knew it, she had a hand on the wall to either side of his neck, effectively holding him in place. He tilted his head up slightly to look into her beautiful, if bloodshot, eyes.

“Let’s play a game.” She purred at him. Casavir could smell the ale on her breath and figured it would be easier to oblige her instead of trying to fight her on this.

“As you wish, my lady. What game?” In her condition, or their current position, he doubted it would be anything too intense, and if it would make her happy, it would be worth it.

“A very fun game.” She giggled and bounced slightly on her knees, across his lap. Somehow, she seemed to move closer to him in a rather predatory way. “I ask a question, you answer, and then you can ask me one in turn.”  _ A game for young lovers to get to know each other better? It couldn’t hurt. _ They were companions if they couldn’t be lovers, and he would like to get to know her better.

“Very well.” Casavir put his hands on her hips to stop her from bouncing or squirming on his lap. He would enjoy it too much if he allowed her to continue like that, and there would be no way to hide his desire for her. He thought he heard a small moan escape her lips, and noticed that her smile had a more mischievous twist to it. Her weight shifted back away from him as she trusted more of her weight to his knees. He looked away so that she would not notice that he had been staring at her with nothing but lust in his eyes.

“Why did you become a Knight of the Nine?”  _ So, she would not be starting with more innocent questions, and went straight for more challenging ones. _

“It was the honorable thing to do, my lady.” She tilted her head as if trying to urge him to go on. He did not want to get into too much of a discussion of what all had happened to lead him to this life, not now. Clearing his throat, he moved on to asking his first question. “Where are you from, my lady?”

“Skyrim. I am a daughter of Skyrim, as Ulfric calls us.” That was not exactly the question that he was asking, or what he wanted to know. He had figured that she was a Nord due to her tolerance for the cold. Her lighter hair and eyes were also not uncommon for Nords, but the colors themselves were not specifically Nordic.  _ If I am right… no, I would not.  _ She swayed her hips, considering him. “And you? Where are you from?”

“Cyrodiil, near Bruma.” He absent-mindedly moved his thumbs, as he usually would while thinking, before he remembered that he had his hands on her hips. He did not want to stop, but forced himself to at least slow down.He looked away, embarrassed that he enjoyed having his hands on her like that. She seemed to be enjoying his touch as well, given that another small moan escaped her lips. “Why do you insist on us calling each other by our names? Bishop and I, I mean.” It had been bothering him for some time, he noticed, and was brought to the surface by her comment earlier defending him.

She smiled sweetly at him before she answered. “Because I know how it feels to be talked down to and labeled by a profession. I wouldn’t want it for anyone else.” He felt her hands on his cheeks, guiding his gaze back to her. “Much less someone that I care about.” His heart leapt in his chest both from her words and her loving gaze.  _ She cares for me? Oh Divines! Stendarr, Arkay, Mara, Dibella! Please let it be that she meant it! _ He was happy enough that he could have thrown his arms around her and pulled her against him. He would have to follow up on this line of questioning when it was his turn again. He braced for her next question. “Why haven’t you asked your favor yet? You earned it back in Solitude, after the ball.”

_ Because what I would ask you for is something that I cannot have, no matter how I want it. No matter how you may want that from me, if you do care for me like that _ ... “I…” He shook his head to clear those thoughts before he could give voice to them. “I believe that I would like to follow your advice you gave me that morning. That I should hold on to my favor and wait until I have earned a second before spending my first.” That would have to work, and hopefully she would believe that was the only reason. He took a deep breath and steadied himself before he could ask his next question. “You care for me my lady? Why? How?” The words left him in a rush. 

“That’s more than one question, Cas. But as you wish.” She ran one hand down to his heart, and she played with his hair with her other hand. “Yes, I care for you, Cas. I care for you greatly. Why? You are strong, and smart, and kind. Not to mention that you are not hard to look at, and a gallant knight who has come to my aid more than once now.” She gave him a dazzling smile, and leaned closer. She looked almost predatory again in that moment. “As for how, I am not sure how anyone comes to care about another person. I only hope that it is enough to say, now, that I do.” She pressed her hand gently into his heart, rubbing her thumb as well. The hand from his hair moved down to his neck, her thumb pressed under his jaw.  _ She is moving her hands to check my heart beat. _ Her question must be one that she was looking for him to hide his reaction over. “Do you care for me as well?”

“Yes.” He gasped out the word, and thought he trembled. He could not lie, and even if he could, he would not. _ Not about this, and never to her _ . He had wanted to tell her just how much he cared for her, but that was not what she had asked. He looked away from her again, ashamed that he had given in to her so easily.  _ Stendarr, Mara, forgive me _ . He felt her lips graze his cheek.

“Do you want me, Cas?” The words were hot in his ear, her voice sultry. He felt his heart hammer away in his chest, and with her hand over his heart she could probably feel it as well, if she could not feel it in his neck. He knew that she was leaning in very close to him, and he felt his arms go around her.

_ Yes. Yes, yes, yes. A thousand times yes!  _ He knew that he was screaming his answer to her in his head, but he couldn’t make the words come out. He felt his mouth go dry. He pulled her close to him and held her tight, as if that would be good enough for an answer. He had been struggling more and more with his vows recently, and he did not know how much longer he would be able to hold to this part of it.

She covered his face in kisses from his ear to the corner of his mouth, waiting all the while for him to answer her. She whispered his name between kisses as if to remind him she was there. The smell of her rose soap was overwhelming. He felt himself twitch in his trousers a few times as he tried to work up moisture in his mouth to answer her. Her kisses were becoming relentless. Her touch alone was intoxicating.  _ How can I answer her? _ He turned his face back to look into her eyes when his lips connected with hers.

He felt whatever string that had held him in place snap with that kiss. His mind went blank. He felt his hands curl as if they were claws and scratch at her back. One hand went behind her head and tangled in her hair. He didn’t want to let her go. He didn’t know if he would be able to, and he didn’t know what kind of man he would be when he did. He didn’t care what kind of man he would be.  _ I would be hers, if she would want me, and that would be enough _ . He was kissing her more passionately now. Hungrily. He didn’t want to stop with just a kiss now, and he wasn’t sure that he would be able to.  _ I want all of her to myself. _ She kissed him back just as enthusiastically and passionately. She felt almost eager in his arms. He felt the hand that was on his neck move up and into his hair, pulling his head back. They were both gasping for breath between kisses. Her hips rocked against him, and she was moving almost frantically under his grasp. Any last restraint he had was fraying.  _ I need her _ . He felt them both fall over onto his bed, her underneath him. His legs were still tangled between hers. He managed to hold himself off of her. He was bracing himself on his elbows so he wouldn’t hurt her.  _ Gods she is beautiful _ . She was laying under him, her hands above her head, flushed and breathless. Her long brassy-red hair pooled on his pillow as if a halo. Her legs were still to either side of him, her soft blue dress pushed up well above her knees. _ I am close enough that I only needed to lean down a few inches to kiss her lips again, or plant kisses down her chest, or... _

She reached up to delicately stroke his cheek with one hand. “Cas…” She sighed his name, as if it were a prayer, or some sacred refrain. Her hand slowly but firmly ran down his arm. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

He blushed a deep red crimson and finally pushed away from her. His arms were straightened, even if each of his hands were on either side of her chest. His mind flooded with what he had just done, and how quickly he had given in to her. He should have gotten out of bed with her, but just having her legs to either side of him held him there more securely than any chains could have. Her hands on his elbows held him still as well. “My lady... I didn’t… I… I shouldn’t have…”  _ I am afraid of what I had almost done. _

“Shhh…” She ran her fingers gently across his lips, outlining them, but that was all it took to silence him and make his mind go blank again. “If you could do it again, would you change what you did?” She tilted her head while looking up at him. He felt as though she was looking into his heart, into his very soul.

Finally, he shook his head.  _ Even if I could go back and change what I had done, I would not. I may be angry at myself for breaking some small part of my vows, but I would kiss her like that again every hour of every day for the rest of his life if I could. If she will let me.  _

_ I love her _ . The thought seemed to roll through him like thunder.  _ I love her _ . His soul soared.

She held out her arms to him and motioned for him to lay back down with her. He tried not to seem too eager for her touch again. He had felt empty since she had fallen onto her back beneath him, but he wasn’t sure that he would be able to stop himself if he let go again.  _ I cannot do that again. Not to her. _

“My lady. Are you sure that would be wise?” His mind raced with what could happen if he gave in to her and only followed his desires. _ She does not know what I am, and I am not sure that I could tell her right now. _

“I trust you not to do anything rash, and I won’t take advantage of you.”  _ And even if you would want to do anything rash, Casavir, I won’t stop you _ . “Here.” She moved her upper body away from the wall, so he would be in charge of how long she was in his bed. “I just want to stay close to you.” She spoke in a throaty whisper.

Casavir let out a slightly exaggerated sigh, gave her a tight smile, and relented to her. She held him close to her heart. Hildr felt him relax under her touch as she played with his hair.

“I have one last question, to counter your three from earlier.” Her fingers were still in his hair, and she was still speaking in that throaty whisper. 

He let out a soft moan in response to her statement. Part of him was worried what else she would want to know at this point, or what would happen after she asked. She tilted his face back to her with just a finger under his chin.

“Cas, why would your order not permit you to love or be intimate? Isn’t love a blessing from Mara, and intimacy a gift from Dibella?”

For a wonder, Casavir could feel her heart racing after asking her last question. Her hands were still slow and steady in his hair and her breath still came in a steady pattern.  _ Was she worried about my response? Why? _

“I am sorry, my lady, but I do not wish to answer that.” He felt as if he had let her down, but right now, while he was in her arms, with his head on her chest, would not be the time for this discussion.

Hildr kissed his forehead lightly before responding to him. “Okay. I will accept that for now, but one day I hope that you can give me an answer.” One hand slipped down to rub his neck and shoulder, and he felt himself melt under her touch.

“Thank you.” He murmured into her chest, but if it was for her touch or her understanding, he couldn’t say.

“Did you have any other questions, Cas?” She asked when he was quiet for some time.

“No, my lady.”  _ My lady _ . “But… Can we stay like this? Please?” He rubbed his thumb nervously before he stopped. He hadn’t realized his hand was that close to her breast.  _ I wish I could stay like this forever, please let it be so _ .

“If you wish, for as long as you wish.” She cooed to him. “But I will want to sleep in my own bed tonight. I don’t want Bishop to have any more reasons to be cross with you.”

She hummed the same lullaby that she had used with Bishop when she brought him home after he was injured at the Skyforge.  _ After I got him hurt at the Skyforge _ . In just a little while Casavir was sound asleep against her chest, his arms still on either side of her. Their legs at least no longer intertwined, and her dress was back down past her knees as well. Bishop came back to the room as Hildr was resigning herself to having to sleep in Casavir’s bed, half underneath him. She inched out from underneath Casavir, and gave him a kiss on his forehead as she got up from his bed. Casavir grumbled quietly before rolling over and facing the wall. She covered him up and turned to Bishop.

Bishop must have drunk the entire time he was out of the room, based on how unsteady he looked. He was still standing in the doorway to their room, and hadn’t moved while Hildr had gotten out of Casavir’s bed. “C’mon, Bishop. You need to get to bed, too.” She swayed over to where Bishop was standing in the doorway, and closed the door behind him.

“Only if we can have some fun, sweetness. We can finish what we started earlier.” His hands were around her almost the moment the door closed.  _ So, he was back to being his flirty drunk self _ . She could smell the ale on his breath, even if it wasn’t as strong as it could be sometimes. He started kissing her jaw and neck before she could resist.

“What kind of fun did you have in mind, Bishop?” She looked over her shoulder at where Casavir was asleep in his own bed. “I wouldn’t want to wake him up. He would not appreciate it, and you wouldn’t appreciate the aftermath.” She moved his hands to her waist and led him over to his bed the same way she had led Casavir in Whiterun.

Bishop quickly stripped off his shirt and boots to sleep in only his trousers. He wobbled a bit, and Hildr held onto him so that he wouldn’t fall. He held out a hand for Hildr to join him under the blankets once he had settled.  _ Maybe he had learned a lesson from the bruise I gave him _ .

“Alright, but not for long,” she said as she nestled in beside him. “I do want to sleep in my own bed tonight.”

“You know you would rather sleep with me.” Bishop’s voice was almost a whine as he wrapped his arms tighter around her, trying to entice her into sleeping all night with him. “Just another night with me won’t hurt, darling.” His touch was becoming more insistent, as if he wanted to beg her.

“Bishop. Please. I can stay with you until you fall asleep, but I want to sleep in my own bed tonight.”  _ Since you freak out when I sleep with Cas, and I am sure Cas would be upset to find me in your bed, given what just happened _ . She smoothed out his hair, and gave him a quick kiss. At least, she meant it to be a quick kiss. When he finally pulled away from her, she hummed the lullaby for him again. She slipped out of the covers when she heard his breathing even out, and his arm that pinned her down to his chest loosened.

Finally, she stripped down to her shift and curled up in her own bed, along the wall between their two beds. It was still mounded with their furs. Her devoted companions had wanted to make sure that she was comfortable. They were both wonderful men to take care of her so well. She would have never have expected anything like this before, not from anyone. She had worked too long as a member of the Thieves Guild, and been a working girl after a fashion. It had been incredibly adventitious to use as a cover. Men were more willing to let innocent looking women into their homes, and it was easier to rob them then. And when they knew better they let their guard down as well. 

But that life was behind her.  _ Well, the robbing afterwards was for sure. _ She was also more selective about her partners now. She looked over to where each of her companions lay in their own beds. They had both done so much for her. They had both saved her from dragon attacks. They had both sat watch over her, and she was sure that they had both prayed over her. Bishop in his own way, at least. She had fallen asleep and woken with each of them. They were her protectors, and at least they didn’t see her as just this mythical hero for all of Nirn. They saw her as a woman, at least part of the time. 

She also still felt like they fought over her like a sweetroll when they could, but it seemed that it had gotten better recently. Splitting her time and attention was working. Bishop hadn’t done anything to openly antagonize Casavir recently either.  _ At least, nothing other than what he had just done tonight before he left Cas and I alone. Maybe this would work after all _ . She fell asleep, content that everything would work out.


	13. Needlework

The next morning, she woke early to the both of them still asleep. She didn’t want to practice in Windhelm, it wouldn’t do for the political climate in the city to have another Nord prowling the street demonstrating prowess in battle.  _ I won't antagonize the poor people of this city. Ulfric and his followers do that enough already _ . She pulled on her dress instead and went to the common room upstairs. She had figured that she would be the only one awake at this hour, but was surprised to see that there were a few women milling about, aside from the serving girls, and a man sitting at the fireplace cradling a lute. He was rather eccentric looking, and must have been a bard, given how bizarrely he was dressed and how he held his lute, gently strumming it. He had his feet propped up on the table in front of him, and his eyes were closed. It almost looked like he was visualizing the music he would be playing as he gently strummed, barely touching the strings.

Hildr got a table near the stairs where she would be able to watch the fellow. When a serving girl came by, she ordered bread, cheese, and tea enough for the three of them. The girl agreed to leave it at the table for her if it was prepared before she returned with her companions.

Hildr was happy to see that Casavir was already awake when she returned to the room. He was sitting on his bed, legs crossed in a butterfly style, eyes closed, and obviously praying. She made an effort to be silent and slip past him to where Bishop still slept. “Good Morning, my lady.” Cas mumbled from his spot on the bed behind her. He did not have his eyes open when she looked at him, but quickly looked away.

“Morning Cas. Table at the top of the stairs when you are done.” She didn’t look to him when she spoke, she wasn’t about to interrupt his prayers.  _ He was probably saying extra ones after last night. _

“Bishop, time to get up.” She bent over him and stroked his hair delicately, twirling small tufts around her fingers. “C’mon sleepyhead. I know you can hear me.” She felt his arms snake around her. This had been an ongoing game with him, at least it was before Casavir joined them. She was pulled down beside him on the bed, and if Bishop had his way, she would be back in bed with him for at least a few hours. A quick kiss on his cheek and promise of ale was all that it took to get him to release her.

She returned to her table without another word, curling back up in the chair she had left earlier. The bard was still sitting there, much the same as when she had left him, only now he had a tankard on his table and two women sitting at a table near him, as if to listen _. Is there any real point in sitting that close to a bard?_ _Surely if and when he was ready to play, everyone in this common room would be able to hear him without straining._ Bishop disturbed her thoughts when he pulled a chair close to her, and fell into it before wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her against him. He kissed her jaw near her ear. She leaned into him, relaxing and waiting for their food. She was happy to see that the food arrived before Casavir did that morning. She was determined to not be as affectionate around Bishop in front of her knight if she could help it. Eating was as good of a reason as any to push away from Bishop and his advances. 

She had finished half of her tankard of tea before Cas arrived, freshly shaven, and wearing a clean shirt. Casavir took one look at how close Bishop was to her, and moved his chair slightly away from the two of them, but still close enough that they could talk quietly among the three of them.

They had agreed on plans for the day when the bard in the common room started singing to no single person in particular. Hildr groaned audibly when he started singing “The Dragonborn Comes” to the whole of the common room. If she never heard that song again, it would be too soon. The fact that Bishop giggled to himself and joked that he knew for sure that she had when the song finished each time did not help that fact. Casavir always blushed and looked away at Bishop’s repeated joke, and Hildr figured that Casavir’s reaction had only ever encouraged Bishop to continue to repeat it.

The bard’s voice was not bad, but her appraisal of his talent was surely shaded by the song that he had chosen. His voice was at least better than his eccentric outfit. His trousers and coat were made of multiple patterns of pink, purple, and blue, and it was topped with a ludicrous hat with a long feather on one side. The bard must have noticed the three of them, or at the very least, her, staring at him. After he was done singing, he came over and introduced himself to Hildr, acting for all the world like her two companions were not sitting to either side of her. She felt both of them go on edge, and was certain that Bishop at least had his hand on his dagger under the table.

“Forgive me, my lady,” the bard said as he settled down into an easy squat with both arms folded on the table in front of him, “have I the honor to speak to the Dragonborn?” He gave her an appraising look. He was talking too loud for her taste, and she was ready to deny that she was the Dragonborn.

“Yes, you have.” Casavir responded curtly. Hildr gave him a look that made a deep crimson blush rise on his cheeks.  _ I need to break the habit of either of them speaking for me _ . Letting everyone know that she was the Dragonborn was one thing that she was not overly thrilled about. She had thought that being coy with Casavir when they had first met had taught him that.

“By the Divines! It is delightful to be in your presence.” If not for the table between them, Hildr was certain that this bard would have knelt and kissed her feet. “Today, we witness a living legend among us, none other than the Dragonborn herself!” The bard’s voice was booming throughout the common room as he stood, still not taking his eyes from her, or acknowledging her companions.

_ Oh, it is going to be a long talk with Casavir about this. He is decidedly not going to enjoy this talk, and hopefully he will never forget it. _

The bard, adding another verse to the end of the song, did not help her temper any. Neither did Bishop when, at the end of the song when the bard intoned “The Dragonborn Came” he added “twice for me” in her ear.  _ I am going to have to knock their heads together later for ruining her morning like this. _ It took a deal of restraint to not deck Bishop right that instant for his crude joke. 

She took a deep breath to calm herself before she addressed the bard. “Thank you! Who is the person to sing me such a lovely song?” She hoped that it wasn’t too obvious that she asked the question through gritted teeth, and with a snarl on her face in place of a genuine smile.

“How foolish of me not to introduce myself! My name is Alec, I am The Prince of Song.” The capitalization was clear in the way that he said his title. “Pleased to make your acquaintance.”  The bow that he made to her had enough flourish to it to be suitable for the High King or the Emperor.  He looked as if he wanted to reach across the table and kiss her hand.

“Likewise. And what would a bard want with the likes of me?” She tried to act coy, but she knew that it wouldn’t work.  _ Not now anyway. Thank you so much, Casavir. _

“I have spent so much time studying your adventures. From the terrors at Helgen to your endless eradication of the Dragon menace. You are our hero. Your strength and humility bring hope to every heart in Skyrim. We bards sing your songs so that our children’s children may remember the glory of the Dragonborn, savior of Tamriel!” At least his voice was no longer booming to fill the whole of the common room. She could feel Bishop relax at her side, and put his arm back around her shoulders, his fingers grazing her collarbone.  _ So he was switching from menacing to possessive now? Alec is not anywhere near that much of a threat. _ Casavir was still stiff, hopefully ashamed of himself for starting all this. “Though, meeting you I see no account of your beauty has ever given you the justice you deserve.” Bishop tensed at the comment, and probably had his dagger in his other hand by now. Hildr knew that the situation was close to getting out of hand, but was annoyed enough not to care right now.  _ The bard is going to get what he deserves if he wants to keep this up _ .

“How kind of you to notice my looks before my brains, Alec.” She thought she heard both Cas and Bishop choke on a laugh.

“Kindness holds no place over honesty. I speak only the truth. You are truly inspiring, a beautiful muse for the beating heart of a musician. Please you must come to a special performance I’m arranging here in Windhelm. I would be delighted for you to be my guest.”  _ Smooth recovery, but you aren’t out of the woods yet, Alec. _

“That sounds wonderful.” Again, she said it with gritted teeth, but it sounded like an appropriate punishment for both of her companions as well. They would both have to sit there and listen as this new admirer, Alec, praised her and her beauty because Casavir couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

“Just you wait, my dear! I am so pleased to share the experience with you. I will see you at the palace, my muse.” With that he finally did reach across the table and kiss the back of her hand. Hildr had to fight to not snatch her hand back across the table after he had grabbed it and kissed it. 

“Alec, before you go, I would like to introduce my traveling companions. This is Bishop,” she motioned to the man with his arm around her, “and that is Casavir.”

“A savage, and a knight, both with you in Windhelm? Are you sane, Dragonborn? I am sorry to have offended you, my lady. I just don’t trust you would be safe with… um… men like that.” She saw Casavir roll his eyes that he should be included in that tally, but she thought she saw him silently agree about Bishop. She gave him a gentle kick under the table, and saw him grimace for it.

“Eh, they both make pretty good pack mules. They seem to need just a bit more training.” Casavir’s blush reached his hairline. He was as red as a snowberry now.  _ Serves him right... _ Bishop’s hand moved to the back of her shoulder, and pinched her for that comment.  _ Apparently Bishop still needs the most training. _

“And there is the compassion I have heard so much about. How very considerate of you. But I’m not sure if they should attend the performance with you, my muse.” Alec was shifting his gaze back and forth between her companions. If Alec were trying to intimidate them into not coming to the concert tonight, he would need to do much better.  She would have bet every last septim she had that Alec was shifting his gaze because both of them individually looked like they would have gladly destroyed him.

“Yeah, I’m not really sure either, but where I go, they go.”  _ What I have to suffer, they will have to suffer as well _ .  _ Casavir got me into this mess, and I don’t mean to let Bishop have any high ground to harass him from. _

“For you, my muse, I would do anything. I don’t suppose there is anything I can say to change your mind?” Alec met her level unblinking stare before relenting.“Very well, if that is your wish, your … friends may join us.” The bard seemed to deflate at the idea of not having Hildr’s total attention, but she was not that worried about what he thought of the matter, and she waited until Alec was out of earshot before rounding on both of them.

“Cas, next time, keep your mouth shut. And Bishop, if you make that lewd joke again, I will stab you with your own dagger.” She glared at both of them in turn as she hissed her warnings at them. “Excellent. Now, since we apparently have plans for this evening, let’s get ready. You both stink and need baths. Do your washing as well. Since we have to go to the palace, you are both going to look nice. Got it?”

“I really need a drink. I think my ears are bleeding.” Bishop was already whining, and it was not going to get any better. 

“Fine. I am going to the market. Bishop, you bathe first. You smell the worst. Cas, come with me.”

“Good. I didn’t want to be in the water after his holiness was in there anyway.” Bishop was muttering under his breath, just loud enough for her to hear.

“By all of the divines, Bishop. Just go get ready. Find us when you are done.” She all but pushed Bishop out of his chair in order to get him moving. She had no time to deal with him right now. She needed to divide and conquer to keep this all going smoothly.

“As for you, Cas…” She was ashamed to see he looked like he wanted to shrink down into his chair and disappear. He wouldn’t look at her, and was certain that he had not looked at her since he told Alec who she was. She stood up and took a short step to stand by his side in his chair.

“Casi…” She said the new nickname in a sing-song manner. “Oh Casi…” He still wouldn’t look at her, but she was sure that she saw him relax a hair at her giving him a nickname. She ran a hand over his cheek and gently led his face to look at her. He still wouldn’t meet her eyes, but this was at least a start.

“I am sorry, my lady.” He addressed his apology to her abdomen, still not raising his gaze to look at her.

“I am not mad at you. Not really. Just please don’t go telling everyone who asks that I am the Dragonborn.” She let out a small sigh. “There are some people, especially in this city, who wouldn’t be too kind to me if they found out who I am. It is for all of our safety now.”

“As you say, my lady.” He finally looked up at her, and she was relieved to see the look of worry and shame was slowly dissipating, giving way to a sad look in his beautiful blue eyes that seemed to stay there.  _ Why would he look so sad? What is wrong, my knight? _ She had to blink a few times to refocus on where she was and what all she needed to do.

“Shall we then?” She held out her hand, not entirely expecting him to take it, but she gave him a huge grin when he did. 

She was content to hold his hand as they walked through the market. She had not really planned to buy anything.  _ Not just yet. _ But she did make a mental note of the things that he stopped and looked at in the market. _ I will have to come back and get him something. _ She still planned to craft him a circlet as a token of her esteem, once he earned it, of course. His would be silver with two sapphires, one set on either side of a large moonstone, to bring out his beautiful blue eyes. Hopefully he would not think it a trifle and would wear it as she wore hers. She had already picked out Bishop’s as well. She knew he would favor a copper circlet with onyx set in it. She had planned to make both of them with her own two hands, even if she was only a fair smith under the best of circumstances. Both of these men were precious to her, and she would make something precious for each of them. Once they had seen everything at the market, they decided to take a walk through the city instead of waiting idly in the cold for Bishop. Casavir escorted her around, and she was only too happy to cling to his arm. She felt like a princess out of a story, instead of the hero for a change. It was overly apparent that there were different districts in the city, and that the Dunmer were living in the slums. Seeing their conditions first hand was almost enough to make Hildr cry.  _ There is no reason that anyone should have to live like this.  _

They met up with Bishop as he was leaving the inn, and Casavir graciously handed her off to him, and went in to take his own bath. This time in the market Hildr bought two new white linen shirts, as well as black leather trousers, one pair for each of her companions. She had noticed recently that all of their shirts had become dingy with wear and sweat. She also picked up some thread to make any adjustments to them that she would need to so they would fit her companions better. And to embroider the shoulders with colored flowers, but she wasn’t going to tell either of them that. She picked up an additional shirt and trousers for herself as well, and picked out some new armor. Her own gear was beginning to show some wear, and she knew that soon it would no longer protect her as it should.

When they had finished exploring the market Hildr insisted on returning to the inn. Bishop wasn’t thrilled with the idea, and he said as much.  It would mean that Casavir got to spend more time with her than he did,  but walked her back to their shared room before leaving again.

She quickly unpacked her purchases, and laid out the shirts she had bought for Casavir and Bishop, measuring them roughly against their own spare shirts from their packs. Once she was satisfied that they were the right sizes, she got to work on the embroidery along the shoulders, neckline, and cuffs. For Casavir she had planned to embroider small blue mountain flowers, and for Bishop, yellow and orange dragon’s tongues. She started with Casavir’s shirt, intending to have it done before he was finished with his bath. Luckily, she was able to finish the shoulders and neckline before he came back into the room.

He was startled to see her sitting on her own bed in the back of the room when he had returned from his bath, at least if his small jump and wild eyes were anything to base it on.

Casavir had spent the better part of an hour in the tub, and he finally felt clean. It had annoyed him that he had to wash after Bishop, and he would have preferred to bathe after Hildr. If he had no other way to smell like his lady available to him, the least he could have would be the faint scent of her soap on him. He sighed, frustrated with himself. He knew that he would not be able to be her lover, not while he was still a Knight of the Nine, and he did not know what that would leave him with if he were to choose her over his vows. He also didn’t know if him no longer being a knight would make any difference to her, and he was too afraid of her response being yes to even dare to ask. 

With a sigh, he got out of the tub, dried himself off, and dressed. He figured he would wait in their room for some time before going out to find Hildr and Bishop in the market. Bishop was turning possessive again, and he had no desire to deal with him in that state. He knew that he should be happy for Hildr to have such a devoted companion, but it still rubbed at him that he was not able to be that companion for her. He resigned himself to some time with his notebook, and with a sigh opened the door to their room at the inn.

Before him sat Hildr, seated with legs crossed near the foot of her bed. She had a large pile of white linen in her lap, and some of it wound in a small wooden circle where she looked to be adding designs in colored thread. He had jumped at the shock of seeing her there, in the last place he would have expected her, working on something he considered completely out of character for her.  _ She is a warrior, not a housewife _ . He had figured that she would be decent with a needle, at least enough to repair any tears in her clothing, but this was something else.

“Ah. You are just a few minutes early. But I think you can appreciate it all the same.” She cut the thread that she was working with, and quickly released the wooden hoop from the linen.

He caught the section of the linen pile that she had thrown at him. She was still beaming at him from the bed, and was motioning for him to hold it up and look at what she had done. He took a moment to figure out which side was up, and was impressed to see that she had embroidered a design of small blue flowers across the shoulders and neckline of her blouse. He wasn’t sure why she was showing it to him, but he was impressed at her handy work.

He hadn’t noticed her getting up from the bed and walking to him until she was right in front of him.

“It is excellent handiwork, my lady.” He held his hands out as if to give her the blouse back.

“You don’t like it?” She had a look of worry on her face. “I stitched blue flowers for you. I figured they would bring out your eyes.” She placed a hand on his, worry screwing up her delicate features. “I can do another design if you would rather. Or another color.”

It finally hit him that his lady had thought enough about him to not only buy him a clean shirt, but to take the time to make something so delicate and beautiful just for him. She had even gone through the trouble of making sure that the work would compliment his features.  _ She is too kind and thoughtful. Especially to someone like me _ . He was ashamed now more than he was earlier this morning for upsetting her.

“My lady, this is too fine of work, and too beautiful by far to be wasted on me.” His voice was hoarse with emotion.

She smiled at him, stepping closer,  placing a hand on his forearm, and looking into his eyes . “No, it will be wasted on Bishop who will complain the whole time that he has to wear something so feminine.”  She giggled at the idea, and he chuckled as well.

He  leaned forward and kissed the golden circlet in her hair .  _ She is too good for me. She is far too good to Bishop _ .  _ How could that man complain of something so thoughtful and beautiful made especially for him? _

“Thank you, my lady. May I wear it tonight?” He did his best to try and cover his mistake earlier. 

“You should, that is why I embroidered them today.” She was practically skipping back to her bed to continue working on the other shirt.

Once she had settled back on her bed, she gave him a predatory grin. “You can change your shirt now if you want. I don’t think I would mind.” She winked at him before resuming her work.

He chuckled, but instead of changing he sat back and wrote in his small notebook. He also tried to sketch her, sitting like that on the bed, bent close to the embroidery she was doing by the light of a candle.

An hour passed before she was finished with the neckline of another shirt. This one had a pattern of orange and yellow dragon’s tongue flowers, no doubt to bring out Bishop’s eyes as well. She laid it out, along with a pair of soft black leather trousers on Bishop’s bed, before gathering up the rest of her clothing and handing another pair of trousers to Casavir as well. With that, she was gone in a rose-scented breeze and a blur of red gold hair.

Not long after Hildr had left, Bishop returned. Casavir was still in no mood to deal with him, but was curious to see how Bishop would react to the gift he was left. To Casavir’s surprise the ranger grinned and practically ripped off his own shirt in excitement to put on the new one Hildr had embroidered for him. Casavir felt his mouth fall open in shock. It was not from the excitement that he had just witnessed from the otherwise stoic ranger, but the sheer number of scars that criss crossed his back. It was a miracle he was still alive to have collected that many, much less that he was still as active as he was. Casavir shut his mouth with a click.  _ What would have, could have, given him that many scars at a relatively young age? _ Had he collected even a third of the scars that Bishop had, he would not be in such good condition.

Bishop was smoothing out the new shirt, running his hands over the fine embroidery when he finally looked over at Casavir, still sitting on his own bed in his old shirt, the newly embroidered shirt where he had left it on the bed next to him. 

“What? Didn’t you like yours? Ladyship is going to be mad at you if you don’t like it.” He paused for a moment. “Well, maybe not mad, but disappointed. And she will embroider everything of yours she can get her hands on until you tell her how much you like it.” He laughed at his own joke. “Trust me when I say everything. She mended more than one pair of my pants with floral designs like these--” he ran his hands over the flowers again-- “before I realized what she was doing. Is she still in her bath?” Bishop was acting like a young boy, in love for the first time. He seemed almost giddy.

“She left just a little while before you returned. Why?” Casavir was startled and curious as to why Bishop would want to know.  _ Surely he would not be so bold as to go to Hildr in her bath. _

“Good. I am going back to the market to get her something… something as beautiful as her.” He was running by the time he reached the door.

Bishop’s departure gave Casavir an idea as well, and he was ashamed that he had not thought of it before, when his lady had given him the shirt. In his defense though, he had never expected to get such a beautiful and heartfelt gift from anyone since he took his vows. He had never expected to owe someone a thoughtful gift in return. He took off for the market at a more measured and easier pace. He had already decided on what he would make for his lady in exchange, and exactly where he would need to go.

Hildr was finally able to relax into the water that she had made them draw up for her bath. After the water sitting for who knows how long, and both of her companions using it, she wanted fresh warm water. After slipping a few coins to a serving girl, she was able to get a fresh hot bath drawn up. It felt so amazing to sit in the water, and she was happy to let her mind wander. She found herself looking back on the past few weeks and everything that had happened recently. She knew that she had feelings for both of her companions, and that they both had feelings for her as well. They were both perfect for her in different ways, and she loved them both.  _ We’ll see how tonight goes then. I am not sure that either of them will take too kindly to being subjected to a concert performed by a bard we had all just met this morning, and who insisted on calling me his muse. _ If this Alec, Prince of Song had any illusions about her being a major patroness for him, he had another thing coming.

She held her breath and dipped completely below the surface of the water, in a vain attempt to wash the bard out of her mind.  _ One thing was for sure. He would not be coming with them. _ Their party was already stressed to the limit with just her two companions, and the addition of anyone else, much less a bard, would be disastrous, much less expensive. There would be no way that they could afford all of the healing potions required to keep the bard in one piece if Bishop and Cas got their hands on him. They may not like each other, but she was sure that they would dislike anyone else meddling with her that much more than they disliked each other. She sat back up in the bath with a laugh at the very idea of Alec tagging along, being worried by her two protectors at every step.

She scrubbed herself with her rose soap and got out of the tub. She braided her long red hair into two loose braids to get some wave in it as it dried and toweled off. She donned her new armor, and eyed herself in the mirror. She had bought a new pair of soft black leather trousers for herself as well. She was pleased to see that they fit her perfectly, seeming to accentuate her every curve, and they seemed to follow her muscles when she flexed. She wound her chest wrapping around herself, and pulled on her new shirt. She finally donned her new wine-red robe. It had been the color that had originally drawn her to the robe, realizing that it was quilted to provide extra protection had only solidified her decision to buy it. It was slit on either side well up her thigh, so she would be able to sneak and run in it, and the sections that fell in front and behind her seemed to accentuate her swaying hips when she walked. The sleeves were cut away from her forearms so that she would still be able to draw her bow or wield her sword in battle. Black leather bracers and new short leather boots completed her outfit. She looked forward to embroidering her new robe when she got a chance, preferably in gold or black thread to make it her own.

She played with the two items of jewelry that she still wore. A necklace of gold with an emerald studded pendant, a gift from Casavir, and a silver ring with a wolf’s head worked into it, given to her by Bishop at the same time. She took a deep breath, inhaling her own rose scent to give her strength before she walked back to the room the three of them shared.

She was surprised to find that the room was empty, but Casavir returned shortly after she had, clutching a small satchel that clinked gently when he moved it. She must have startled him again, based on the way that he jumped slightly when he returned to the room. His reactions to her had been half of the fun of having him around. 

“Excuse me, my lady. I had not anticipated you to have already returned.” She saw that he was blushing and wondered what he would have bought that would have him so on edge.

Bishop breezed into the room after Casavir had carefully deposited his delicate package on his bed, and shuffled through the contents with his back to her.

Bishop also had a small package as well, she noticed wryly. It must be Bishop teasing Casavir, no doubt over the embroidery that she had done to their shirts for them. Bishop was already wearing the one she had done for him, and she was relieved that he had not gotten it dirty yet.

“Just a little something to say thank you, Princess.” He handed her what he held. The package contained a corset that had sections of chainmail for reinforcement and protection, as well as a long black silk scarf that she could use to cover the chainmail to help her sneak up on her target. She left the corset on her bed, she wouldn’t need it tonight, and began to wind the scarf around her waist several times instead. When she was happy with the lengths that dangled in front of her, she tied it off as a belt and stuck her ebony dagger in the wrapping. A little protection wouldn’t be amiss in this city.

Casavir had finally stored whatever it was that he had purchased, and turned back to her as well. “I am sorry that I do not have anything to say thank you, my lady.” He gestured to where his shirt was still laying on his bed.

“You don’t owe me anything, Casi.” She looked into his eyes as she stepped closer. “It was my pleasure to do something like that for you. Just change, and we will get something to eat before heading over to the palace.”

She walked out of the room, Bishop following her closely. He was grinning like he had won some major victory in the war for his lady.


	14. Old Friends and New Enemies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge shout out to Jay'all, author of the amazing Northbound Pilgrimage, for reinforcing the idea to add one certain song to the concert.

Once both of them had changed into their new clothes, and they had all eaten, they finally went to the Palace for the concert. Both Bishop and Casavir looked rather dashing in their new embroidered shirts. The colors were perfect complements to their eyes, and they almost seemed to match in their black trousers and coats, even if they could not be more different. They reached the theater easily enough. If it could even be called a theater. It had the feel of a barracks that had quickly been cleared of beds, and had chairs and a stage set up.

An usher led them to their seats in the front of the crowd. Hildr noticed that there were several other dignitaries from around Skyrim there, but that they were all seated on benches. She and her companions had chairs set up front and center for this performance. Well, she would have preferred a chair like the ones that Bishop and Casavir sat in. Her chair was more akin to a throne placed dead center in front of the stage.

“Please take your seats. The show is about to begin.” Alec quickly mounted the stairs and strode to the middle of the platform directly in front of Hildr. He was still wearing the garish outfit he had that morning.

Bishop groaned in the seat on her right, and emptied another bottle of ale. Karnwyr was sitting at Bishop’s feet. On her left, Casavir looked like he was attempting to melt back into his seat, only a water goblet available for protection.

“Good evening, Windhelm! May I thank you all for venturing out on this cold, wintry night to witness the One, the Great, Alec, the Prince of Song!” Alec announced himself. _That did not bode well for the concert._ _This bard couldn’t even get someone to announce his arrival to the stage_. “I wish to dedicate tonight’s performance to someone very special to me. She is the most inspiring, beautiful woman I have ever met, and I have a song in my heart I must sing to her.”

_ If he sings The Dragonborn Comes, I am going to kill him. I should have more than enough to pay off the bounty.  _ Thunderous applause sounded from behind Hildr, and she suspected it was his followers all believing that she was the one he was talking about. They could have him as far as she was concerned. She looked around the balconies, spotting Jarl Ulfric Stormcloak, and his General Galmar Stone-Fist sitting on a lower balcony. Ulfric’s eyes were boring into her.

“Bishop, Ulfric is here. Whatever happens. Follow my lead.” She leant over to Casavir and repeated the same instructions. The music had started, and there was no time to tell them anything else.

Alec sang, directly to her, new songs she had never heard before. His eyes hardly ever left her, and she could feel both of her companions growing tense in their seats to either side of her the whole time Alec was singing.

There were two songs that she thought that she would always remember. At one point, Alec set down his lute, and a morose sounding, swelling music started to sound behind him. It sounded like he had several other musicians behind the curtain at the back of the stage where he was. The music from the back of the stage made the song almost sound like a dirge for the fallen. At least it sounded like that until Alec began to sing. Alec looked like he was singing directly at Ulfric, almost as if this dirge was written in his honor. It was a song of two battling lords, and from the sound of the instruments, it did not sound like there was a peaceful resolution to the confrontation, and would be used as a lesson to anyone else who dared to cross the lord or question his authority.  _ Cheeky bard might be signing his own death warrant if Ulfric disliked your song, or decided you were trying to insult him. _

The second song she would always remember was a slightly more uplifting one. At least it was more upbeat than the previous dirge. It sounded almost like a ballad from a man, heartbroken over the fact that the woman that he loved had led him astray and led him to ruin. The song made it sound like it was the woman’s sweet kiss that was to blame for the man’s unfortunate circumstances, but he still welcomed his destruction with open arms. The man in the ballad repeatedly sang that there were so many signs that the man had ignored in favor of his lovely lady. For some reason Casavir blushed a darker red than she had ever seen before as Alec sang this ballad. 

She sighed in relief once it was over. She did not think she could sit through very much more of that. Mercifully, there did not seem to be many other songs for this concert.  _ What a concert it is then. The whole thing took less time than a nice relaxed dinner.  _

“Watch out, ladyship, here comes your bard.” Bishop was laughing to himself over his own jokes again. Bishop leaned up against the arm of her throne, as if to block Alec from getting too close, or seeing too much of her. 

“So lovely to see you once again, Dragonborn.” He said that a little too loudly for her liking, but gutting him here in the theater would leave too many witnesses.

“Your songs were very beautiful. I’m glad you invited me.” It was not entirely a lie. It would make for a good story later.

“My beautiful muse. I’m so glad you enjoyed them. Please, dine with me tonight, my lady. I wish to sing for you more. I wish to hear all of your wonderful stories from the road. We can spend an unforgettable night together.” He sounded almost as if he were singing in the inn again. Casavir seemed to bristle at her side.  _ He doesn’t like anyone else calling me my lady then? Good to know _ . 

_ Oh, I am sure it would be unforgettable; no amount of ale or wine would let me wash it from my mind.  _ She smiled but shook her head sadly. She turned, ready to leave. 

“My goddess, are you leaving so soon? We’re just having some fun. We wouldn’t want the savage or the knight to get jealous now, would we, my lady?” His whiney voice was not much better than his singing voice as far as she could tell. And this whiney little bard did not seem to know when to shut his mouth if he was not interested in starting trouble.

Casavir was able to let the snide remark roll off of him, but Bishop had to goad the bard further, extending her stay in the palace, and close to Jarl Ulfric. She would have bet every septim she had that he was watching her during the performance.  _ He is one man I do not ever want to see again _ . 

“Hah! Don’t make me laugh. The only thing she will remember of you this night is the sight of you retreating as we leave.” Bishop turned his back to the bard and wrapped his arm around her waist, as if to make good on the idea of dragging her out of the palace.  _ Can we not have these conversations anywhere else? The inn perhaps? Somewhere Ulfric is not watching me. Can Casavir tell that something is wrong? _ She reached out and gently brushed Casavir’s forearm. 

“Think of what we could accomplish if we travelled together. Join me, and your name will be sung from every rooftop in Skyrim until the end of time!” Alec had no idea of what the real world was like if he thought that was what would make a grand adventure for a ballad. He stood there, with his arms above his head, as if his motion was making the people on the rooftops sing louder.

“So we’re playing the ignoring game now?” Bishop spat the words over his shoulder. “Let me tell you something, bard, only a savage wolf can truly appreciate a woman like her.” He wound both arms around her waist, and made as if to bite her neck. She felt his teeth scrape her cheek gently before he kissed her. 

Casavir shifted his weight, looking for all the world like he regretted opening his mouth this morning to talk to Alec. For once it was something other than Bishop’s affectionate displays that upset him the most. She placed a hand more firmly on his arm to steady him. It would not do if he made her nervous right now. She knew that Bishop acting like this was not helping Casavir’s mood either. _ If Ulfric is here, things will take a turn for the worst quickly, even if he never finds out that I have sided with the Empire. Ulfric will probably try and goad Bishop and Casavir into a fight for me.  _

“So, you like wild and free men, my lady? Oh, I can show you a wild and free man right here. We could live, and love, together. Free.” Alec’s voice bordered on pleading. If he was going for bravado and a tough attitude, he had a long way to go still. Casavir had an almost amused look on his face now, but wasn’t saying anything. 

“Wild? Free? You!?” Bishop laughed, leaning into her for support. “What are you going to do if you get attacked by a dragon? Pull out your lute and bore it to sleep?” He tugged on Hildr to try and get her moving. “We’re leaving.” Karnwyr was only too happy to try and lead the way for them. 

“It pains me to see you leave, my beautiful muse. We will meet again. This will not be the last you see of Alec, Prince of Song.” He reached out and kissed her hand again, and if she did not know better, he would have fallen to his knees and kissed the hem of her robe.

She looked up to where she had last seen Jarl Ulfric in the balcony, but he was no longer there.

_ Oh Shit. _

“Casi, Bishop, we need to leave. Right now.” She hurried away, or tried to, dragging both of them behind her.

“You’re the Dragonborn then?” She remembered that voice. The last time she had heard it, she was pressed against his chest for safety, his fingers in her hair, and Helgen was burning around them. He had grabbed her as she had run past into the tower, and held her close against him to keep her from the Dragonfire, and while Ralof and the other Stormcloaks had tried to work out a plan to escape. After they had sat too close to each other in the cart taking them both to face the headsman’s axe, fingers interlaced, and leaning into each other, his hold had not been unexpected, or entirely unwelcome. He had done his best to soothe her both times, even if he had been gagged in the cart. Now he stood before her in the fine clothes of a nobleman. He styled himself as the High King of Skyrim, since he had killed the previous High King.

She stood face to face with him, drawing herself up to meet his gaze. “Yes.” She held her hands slightly out behind her, trying to keep both of her companions from doing anything rash. Karnwyr growled as he stood next to Bishop, but she would not be able to calm the wolf from so far away.

Ulfric stepped closer to her, until he was within easy reach of her. His second, Galmar, right behind him, was glaring at either of her companions in turn.

“You don’t look like that scared little girl who was only too happy to curl against me in the cart to Helgen, or hold me while the tower was being burnt around us.” He was turning her head roughly back and forth with a thumb and finger to get a better look at her face, and to provoke her companions into doing something stupid. No doubt Ulfric would take them away from her if they did anything. It almost looked like he was getting ready to kiss her too. She would almost feel the two of them prickling at how Ulfric was handling her, or even just the fact that he was touching her. 

She pressed a hand back on both of their hips to stop them, before she stepped forward to twist a lock of the Jarl’s blond hair around her finger. She looked up at him through her lashes. “Maybe if you let me taste your Thu’um, I could be scared of you.”

He chuckled at her, but made no move to pull away from her. “I doubt even that would scare you. A shame. I had enjoyed it when you looked to me for safety. But it seems that you have someone else now. Care to introduce us?”

“No.” She spat the word at him. He held her hand in his hair when she tried to remove it, and the lock of his hair as well.

“Ha! Maybe I would enjoy your boldness and fiery temper instead, Hildr. No doubt it is some remnant of the dragon’s souls.” His face came much closer to hers, as if he intended to kiss her, or abduct her in front of her companions and the rest of the people in the theater. It was his palace after all, and she doubted that he would have any second thoughts about something like that.

“Possibly. What is it that you want, Ulfric?” Being flirtatious and coy wasn’t working. Time to be direct.

“You, Dragonborn.” Hildr could feel Bishop and Casavir bristle like Karnwyr at that comment. They had to have their hands on their daggers if they had not yet already drawn them. She turned slightly and held her free hand behind her back once again trying to calm them down.  _ If Ulfric grabs me, this will get ugly _ .  _ Just because we couldn’t cut our way out of here doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t try.  _ This would have to work.

“Me, Jarl Ulfric? What could be so special about me?” She was playing with his hair and facing him again, and was gently pressing herself against him. She was doing her best to be a clueless simpering lass. If he liked scared girls, he should also enjoy that. She let her hand slide from his hair and to his shoulder, before trailing back to stroke his neck. She hadn’t forgotten all of her tricks from her past profession. She also made a note that he wasn’t calling her by her name anymore.

“Yes, you, Dragonborn. You should have joined my ranks long ago. Do you have any idea what we could do TOGETHER? We would be unstoppable. The Empire wouldn’t be able to withstand the two of us, shouting TOGETHER.” His eyes shone with a wild energy, and his hands were tight on her hips.

The emphasis that he had put on the word together made her stomach turn and want to retch. From the gleam in his eyes, she was certain that he didn’t mean for her to just be compatriots on the battlefield. Now that she thought of it, she had never heard him mention a woman when they were in Helgen, or in any stories she had heard of him since then. And to have her, the Dragonborn on his arm, as his woman, with his whelp…  _ No. Not with him. I could have that life with Casavir and Bishop together before I would even consider it with Ulfric. _

“Never.” Her voice had that steel in it again. “Not with how you treat the citizens of your hold. You mistreat anyone who is not a Nord, even if they are a son or daughter of Skyrim, born in these lands or in your hold.” She could feel the anger building in her. I will not give in to fear of him, no matter who he is.

“And why should I let you continue to stay in my city then?” Ulfric was close to rage now, she could tell.  He was not used to being denied what he wanted, especially not in his own hold.  _ Does he want me that badly? Would he try and take me against my wishes, and if he had to fight my companions for me? _

“We killed a dragon that was attacking one of your towns. Kynesgrove would not still be standing if not for the three of us.” Casavir had moved up to her side to defend her. “We have done more for your hold than you have to protect them from the dragons, Jarl.” He spat Ulfric’s title as if it were a curse.

In a flash Galmar was face to face with Casavir, and they were almost as close to each other as she was to Ulfric.

“If you will not aid me, you are not welcome in Windhelm. But for slaying the dragon in Kynesgrove, you may stay this last night before you must leave. My soldiers will make sure that you do depart tomorrow, Dragonborn. You will be treated as an enemy if you stay. If you return and don’t join me you will be hunted down, Dragonborn.” Ulfric turned on his heel and stormed off, Galmar close at his heels.

Hildr did not even start to relax until she heard the door to the theater close. She finally let out a long breath that she had been holding for too long and placed a hand on the arm of either of her companions. “We are going to need a good night’s sleep tonight if we will be packing and hitting the road tomorrow.” She grabbed each of their hands, and cautiously went to the door. She wouldn’t be that timid scared woman any more, even if her heart was racing and she was terrified. 

She made Casavir and Bishop act as scouts on the walk back, Karnwyr close on her heels. She wouldn’t want Ulfric to sneak up on them. She even considered sleeping in bed with one of them so that she wouldn’t be alone. She couldn’t ask that of Casavir, and Bishop would have gotten the wrong idea from that kind of a suggestion. Karnwyr would be the only option, but she wasn’t sure that the wolf would be enough to keep her safe. 

Her nerves must have been infecting the two of them as well. Both of them took pains to reassure her that she was safe with him while they were all in the room packing their bags. Murmurs of “Princess, you’re safe here,” as well as, “You are safe, my lady. We are both right here,” were repeated to her as everything was being packed for their journey. Casavir had even come over to help her pack her bag when he noticed that she was still unsteady and uncertain. He made her sit on her bed as he packed her satchel methodically. Casavir even whispered love poems and reassuring words to her the whole time. _ Did he notice already that I preferred them? _ Bishop, as ever uncomfortable with her emotions, volunteered to go sit at the bar, where he would have a view of the hallway that led to their room.  _ He will naturally be using this as an opportunity to get drunk as well. _ But since Bishop traveled lighter than her or Casavir, she would not make him wait in their room while they packed. 

Once they were alone, she turned to Casavir, still packing her bags for her before going back to his own bags. “Casi. Will you… Will you stay with me tonight?” She meant the question in an innocent way. She wanted to sleep comfortable and safe in his arms, but she didn’t want to tell him that she wanted so much more from him than just that small comfort. 

Casavir nodded his head back towards his bed by the door. “I will be right there, my lady. I will be close enough if you should need me.” He didn’t seem to understand just how close she wanted him to be to her. 

“Of course. Forget I said anything.” She blushed and looked away from him. _ If he did figure out what I meant, I do not want to see the embarrassment on his face.  _

“If you are worried about someone coming to take you in the night, my lady, I could sleep against the door for you.” He sounded concerned for her, and stopped packing her things to kneel in front of her.  _ Maybe he would have agreed to sleep in her bed if not for his vows being in the way. _ He had certainly never seen her like this before. 

“I would rather you in my bed, Cas.” She mumbled, resigned. “I mean, to protect me of course. Nothing more than that.” She added that quickly and felt herself blush a deep crimson from her chest to her hairline. She wanted so much more than just protection from him, but that information would do neither of them any good right now.  _ Not with his vows _ . 

He took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I will do whatever you need, my lady.” He blushed, but his voice was firm and determined. 

“Cas…” She placed her other hand on top of his, and leaned her forehead against his. “I can always ask Bishop if that would make you more comfortable.” She felt him stiffen in front of her, even if his hand never moved from between hers, or his forehead from her own. She knew it was a sore spot after the other night, but she did not want Casavir to feel like she would be taking advantage of him, or trying to tempt him from his vows. “It’s just…” She felt soft fingers on her lips stopping her mid-thought.

“Do not worry, my lady. I would stay by your side tonight, or any night, if you would want it. All you would need to do is ask.” His voice was smooth like velvet, and she felt that he meant every word. If she knew that he would not pull away from it, she would have kissed him right then. She contenteded herself with rubbing his cheek, it usually soothed her to touch him.  _ My sweet knight. _

“Let’s finish packing. We can get Bishop once you are packed. Are the horses alright?” She was trying to distract herself with anything else that she might think that she would need to take care of before they left.

Casavir pulled himself up onto the bed beside her. “My lady?” He held her face gently in his hands, running his fingers delicately over her jaw line. He tilted her head up to look at him. “I will always do whatever it takes to keep you safe. Of that, you have my word.” There was a look of adoration in his soft blue eyes.

“I know Cas. It’s just… Ulfric looking at me like that… has me on edge.” She turned her face away from him. He may have held her face to look at him, but he did not force her to continue to look at him against her will. He did not, however, let go of her face immediately, and ran a finger along her jaw again, as well as over her cheek, before letting his hand drop back down to her knee. She nervously started to pull all of her hair into one thick braid over her left shoulder. 

“I did not care for the way that Ulfric was looking at you either, my lady. It was sickening. Worse than even the hungry way that Bishop looks at you.” Casavir’s voice sounded like steel wrapped in velvet. He may be speaking calmly and softly to her, but there was a definitive edge in his voice. “I would have gutted anyone else for looking at you, or talking to you like that, my lady.” His thumb rubbed against her thigh, lost in thought as he gazed at her. 

“I am glad that we agree on that at least. Now, let’s get you packed and we can go get Bishop.” She noticed that he stopped and stiffened each time that she mentioned Bishop. _ Is he that possessive of me? It could be something to use to my advantage if I would want something from him. No. That life is behind me. I won’t manipulate him.  _ “Cas?” She was still formulating what she was going to do with what she had just puzzled out, when she turned back to face him where he still sat beside her on her bed. 

He was looking at her still, a mixture of concern and determination on his strong face. He looked almost as if carved from dark amber, and his skin seemed to drink up the candle light in the room. His black hair was still perfectly styled, and completely in place. His beautiful blue eyes still had a look of admiration, and she felt that she could drown in them if she would only let herself. Dressed in silks as he still was, he still felt like a person beside her, not a weapon of the Divines. Anything that she had wanted to say to Casavir disappeared when she looked at him. She felt a dreamy grin cover her face as she looked at him. It wasn’t until she saw a blush creep up his cheeks that she realized she was staring at him. She shook her head in an attempt to focus. _What is it about him that always scatters my wits?_ "Do you hate Bishop that much? If you could tell me some of your past, maybe...?"

Casavir leaned his shoulder against the wall, still looking at her. “Maybe another time, my lady. I am not sure that I have the words to be able to tell you now, and I would not wish to worry you.” His thumb rubbed against the side of her knee again. “I am all packed already, my lady. I will stay here and protect you for as long as you will permit it.”

Hildr wrapped an arm around his chest and leaned heavily into him. “Good,” she murmured. She kicked her boots off and onto the floor before curling up against him. “Then you will keep me safe tonight.”  _ And every night hereafter.  _

Too late he realized what he had just gotten himself talked into and smiled at how easily she manipulated him.  _ She is very good at making sure that she gets what she wants, and very good at manipulating me _ .  _ What did she do before I met her that she would be proficient in these skills?  _ “My lady, are you sure this is wise? What if Bishop…”

“Let me worry about Bishop. I just want you to keep me safe tonight.” She was pulling up the blankets from the foot of the bed to cover the both of them. 

“My lady, I… Very well.” If this was to be where he slept tonight, he would at least try to suffer it with a good grace. “I will protect you tonight from anything that may come.” _ And every night that you should desire it, my lady. I am at your disposal _ . He looked down at her. She had already gotten comfortable against his chest in the moments since she had manipulated him into protecting her while she slept in his arms. She had also pushed him against the wall, so that he would have no chance to slip out of her bed once she was asleep.  _ She is almost too good at manipulating me _ . He chuckled at the thought, and tucked her hair back behind her ear. “Someday you will have to tell me how you are so good at manipulating me, my lady. I would hate to have anyone else figure out how you do this to me.” 

Her sleepy smile as she looked up at him was all the answer he was expecting, but something that sounded suspiciously like ‘love’ was also on her lips. She dropped her head against his chest and with only a few small movements was comfortable and dozing. If not for the feel of her warm breath on his chest and pressed tight against him, Casavir would have thought that this was a beautiful nightmare sent to him by a demon to tempt him from his vows. 

Bishop returned later that night, before Casavir fell asleep in the narrow bed with Hildr. It looked like Bishop had formulated a plan and was ready to tell Hildr all of the details before he found the two of them curled up in her bed. It did not seem to matter to Bishop that Casavir was pressed somewhat uncomfortably against the wall, and pinned there by her body.  _ To Oblivion with it, if Bishop is going to retaliate against me for this, I will make it something worth suffering for later. _ Casavir rubbed his hand along her side as if enjoying the fact that she was there before him like that, exposing the curves of her body to him. His other arm, already holding her against his chest, he used to pull her tighter. He kissed her forehead when she let out a small moan in response to his touch. Casavir never broke eye contact with Bishop, and some small part of him enjoyed how furious the whole display made Bishop. If not for Hildr blocking Bishop from him, he would have thought the man would have slit his throat for him by now. Bishop was furious enough that he was shaking, but he marched over to his bed, and acted like there was nothing to see in the other cot. 

Casavir kissed her forehead again, and got comfortable enough to fall asleep, holding his lady like a shield close against him. 

It was some time before Bishop was able to fall asleep, Karnwyr curled against him where Hildr should be, and he didn’t sleep well after what he had just seen.


	15. Going to Ground

Bishop woke to the sunlight streaming in the small window set high in the wall. He looked around the small room and his stomach flipped. It wasn’t from all of the ale that he had drank last night, but from what he saw in the cot along the far wall. There, Hildr and Casavir still slept curled in each other’s arms. Looking content. The sight sickened him more than a meal of entirely soured cheese. As Bishop watched, Casavir awoke, a rosy blush painting his cheeks before he focused his attention on Hildr, still asleep in his arms. Bishop rose, half pushing Karnwyr out of their small cot and dressed quickly, slamming the door on his way out of the room. 

Casavir kissed her forehead again before he cooed to her. “My lady.” He brushed the hair from her face. After a moment, he thought back to the song from the night before. He hummed part of it to her as he blushed, remembering the words to the song.  _ How alike the man from the ballad and I are. Both of us, destroyed by just a sweet kiss. A kiss that she should not have given me, and one that I would give anything to repeat. _ He looked down at his lady in his arms, and had to bite the inside of his lip as he felt himself stir. As if on cue, Hildr moved against him. Casavir groaned to himself knowing that there was nothing that he could do to hide what she did to him. What, as far as he could remember, only she did to him. True it was not uncommon for the members of his order to sleep near each other when out on campaign, but there was no desire involved in doing that, at least not from him.  _ Here on the other hand… _ Casavir tried to flex numb fingers and stroke her back to completely wake her. She moved again, as if determined to torture him. “My lady.” 

“Mmm. Casi. Is it morning already?” She moved her hand up under the silk coat that he still wore from the concert, since she had not given him a chance to change before she pinned him to the wall beside her in the bed to sleep in his arms. As she slipped her hand across his chest and down to his hips, he groaned and stopped her hand from exploring him any more than it already had. He pulled her hand up to his lips and kissed her knuckles. 

“Yes, my lady. It is morning. Bishop has already awoken and left.” _ If not for my past or my vows, I would want to keep you in bed and in my arms for the rest of the morning, my lady _ .

Hildr reluctantly rolled out of Casavir’s arms, surprisingly feeling disappointed at the emptiness she felt as she dressed. She and Casavir were facing opposite corners of the room as they changed. She was still afraid that one of Ulfric’s men would try and take her, and wouldn’t let him leave to give her privacy. They found Bishop at the same table they had eaten breakfast at the previous morning, with bread, cheese, fruit, and tea waiting for all three of them. For once Bishop was not the one leading the way for the three of them to leave either the inn or the city that morning. Hildr was confused by his reluctance to say the least. She knew how much he hated cities and everything about them. There was no way that he would be the one insisting on staying there for another night. He had been there when Ulfric had threatened her, threatened all three of them really, and told them that they were only allowed last night in the city, and that they would be treated as enemies if they were to try to stay an additional night, or return. Bishop acted as if nothing had happened. After she had finished her breakfast, she pulled him aside. “Bishop, what is going on? Why are you trying to stay here?”

“He said we only have to leave before night fell. When we are going to get another good chance to stock up on supplies for the road?” He drew her closer and whispered into her ear. “Beside that point, we are surrounded, sweetness. Several of the patrons at the bar with me last night were complaining of the Stormcloak soldiers that were posted at all the doors. If we leave this inn, we are not going to be getting back in here, no matter what. Make sure that you are ready before we leave.”

She felt her stomach drop at the words.  _ He hadn’t been just drinking last night while Casavir and I were getting ready _ .  _ He was scouting _ . She felt ashamed that all she had been doing was flirting with Casavir and trying to force herself to relax.  _ And in repayment of his scouting, Bishop had found me asleep in Casavir’s arms. _

“So what is the plan then? What do you suggest, darling?” She pushed away from him slightly. Casavir was still sitting with them, even if he was not paying attention to the two of them talking at the table. More likely he was making sure that nobody else was paying attention to them. 

“I would say first we make use of that bed of yours while we still can, especially if you are going to call me darling.” His amber eyes looked predatory above his smirk as if he was gazing into her very soul in that instant. He said it loud enough that Casavir had to have heard him. “At least to get some rest. Get more provisions here, as much as we can manage would be my suggestion. Visit an alchemist, sharpen and prepare our weapons as much as we are able.” She was grateful to have an ex-bandit, especially at Thrice-Banished at her side right then. She was certain that she was not supposed to know that was actually his family, but he occasionally talked in his sleep. She couldn’t help what she overheard. “After that, we may as well check with the armorer and the blacksmith here. Anything that we can get that would help us go to ground would be helpful.” He rubbed a leathery finger over her cheek. “But I am still interested in making use of your bed if you are, ladyship.”

“Bishop…” She moved closer to him as if to kiss his cheek near his ear, but she whispered to him instead. “I thought you said that you would prefer out under the stars?” She ran a hand down his arm starting from his bicep and interlaced her fingers with his as she pulled away from him. She was pleased to see the sparkle in his golden eyes that showed she had said exactly the right thing to him just then. 

“As you wish, Princess. Shall we?” Bishop rose and held out a hand to pull her to her feet as well. 

“Cas. Come on. We have work to do.” Hildr reached out and touched his shoulder to rouse him into following her and Bishop back to the room. She leaned against the wall at the foot of her bed once they were all in the room and the door was closed behind them. She crossed her arms and looked at the both of them.

“Bishop. Tell Casavir what you told me.” She waited until Bishop got through a condensed version of what they had discussed at breakfast. It was only a bit more condensed, and he did not omit the lewd comments that he had made to her, insinuating that it was all her idea. Hildr rolled her eyes at his teasing Casavir even if they had agreed in the end to not do anything while still in Windhelm. 

Casavir saw the right in what Bishop was planning. He produced a small coin purse and tossed it lightly in his hand. “Is there anything special that you would want me to purchase here, my lady?” 

Hildr shook her head, but Bishop piped up in response. “Could use an ale or four if you are offering, your holiness.” _ It would be a sight to see, watching this prissy little Paladin order a few rounds of ale _ . 

“Bishop.” Casavir’s admonition was almost palpable. 

“I need you to be sober, Bishop.” Hildr ran her hands down his chest as she slid between the two of them to stop them from coming to blows.

“That was why I only asked for one, ladyship. It won’t inhibit me at all.” Bishop pulled her against him with that last comment and made as if to bite her neck, but stopped with his lips only a few inches from her throat. “Don’t you have somewhere to be, Casavir?” Bishop spoke to Casavir without looking up, and he rocked his hips against Hildr to encourage Casavir to get moving.

Casavir sniffed and left without another comment. Bishop focused all of his attention on the woman still in his arms. He bent and kissed her neck once they were alone. “Well, ladyship? I would still be interested in using your bed if you are. Even if you would just want me to hold you. I am at your disposal.” _ Completely and totally at your disposal. Feel free to use me however you would want. _ He tucked a lock of her long hair behind her ear. “Princess?”

Hildr was still just standing against Bishop. She was not looking at him directly, and not pulling away from him either. Her emerald green eyes were unfocused, and she was absently braiding a section of her hair.  _ I have not seen her this nervous since…  _ it seemed like almost a lifetime ago. It was back before Casavir had joined them. Bishop reached over and gently brushed the hair over her shoulder, and out of her hands. He cupped the side of her neck and ran his thumb along her jaw. 

She finally looked over at him after that touch, and she leaned into him more solidly. “Alright, Bishop. You need to just behave.” She playfully rubbed his side as she led him over to her bed. She pushed him back onto her bed, and tumbled in beside him. She crawled across him and nestled in between Bishop and the wall, using his chest as a pillow and letting him pull her tighter against him under the covers. She drifted off into a light sleep while she was still able. 

Bishop was only too happy to have his ladyship curled up in his arms. _ If only I had enough time to fuck her before letting her sleep _ . She needed to keep her strength up, but he could have used a chance to relax as well. He felt himself twitch and start to grow hard at just the idea of fucking her again. If there was even a chance of that righteous Paladin walking in, and catching Hildr moaning his name in pleasure, it would have done much more to drive home the idea that Hildr was his and his alone. It may even send the Paladin packing for sure. That would be too much to hope for, and as far as he could tell, Hildr at least enjoyed having the other man around.  _ It may hurt like salt in a fresh wound, but if it made her happy to have Casavir there as well, I will suffer for her _ . 

“Ladyship, if you had any idea what you do to me…” He was running his hands through her hair as he spoke to her.  _ If only I could braid her hair while she slept like this _ . 

He felt her hand slide down his chest and cup him firmly for an instant before rubbing his cock lightly with her thumb. “I think I know what I do to you, Bishop.” She kissed his chest as he let out a soft groan. “I thought you wanted to just sleep?”

“I will always want you, Hildr.” Bishop ran his fingers through her hair, before turning her face up to kiss her. 

Casavir returned right then, as if on a cue, and disturbed the perfect moment for Bishop. He groaned as Hildr broke away from his grasp, and settled back against his chest. They were still under the covers together, so it was not like he would have seen anything.  _ Damned Paladin ruined everything. _ Bishop laid there, still enjoying the feel of her against him before he helped her get back up. 

Casavir kept his eyes away from the two of them, and was talking to himself as he went through all of the provisions he had purchased for all of them. 

“Alright, Princess, let’s make sure that we have everything that we need before we get ready to leave.” Bishop stood close against her, helping her pack and make sure that they were ready for anything that would be coming their way. 

~~~~~

When they finally left the inn later that day, they were met with several squads of armed Stormcloaks, just as Bishop had predicted. Hildr noticed one of the guards running back towards the palace.  _ Hopefully the others noticed as well, since it means we will probably have company _ . Casavir led the way towards the market, as arranged, at a leisurely pace. Hildr was at his side, holding on to his arm, partially so that she did not slip on the ice that seemed to coat the streets this far north, and partially to calm her nerves.  _ Being enveloped by his fresh clean scent alone is helping. It is also nice to hold Casavir this tight, now that I know he cares for me, as well as more than just that. _ She sighed to herself, as she watched the soldier running back to the palace. _ If that soldier is going where I suspect, we are going to be grateful we spent the morning preparing, but there is nothing for it now _ . 

Bishop stayed alert, following the both of them, Karnwyr close on his heels.  _ It is always nice to watch her hips sway as she walks _ . Bishop watched the soldier run to the palace, and only rested his hand on his dagger at his waist.  _ As if this day could not possibly get any worse. I barely slept last night after finding her in that damned Paladin’s arms, after we were all threatened by the upjumped pompous Jarl who styles himself as the new High King of Skyrim. I had her in my arms earlier today, and his holiness the knight in shining armor interrupted us. And now that pretentious bastard is probably going to try and take her from me, again, as well. I will not let it happen. She is mine, no matter what anyone else thinks. She wears my ring, and maybe one day she will carry my child as well. No, I would not force that on her. But if she would want to… _ He found himself standing by her side as they traded weapons and sold furs at the blacksmith. He knew that he should be keeping an eye out for the soldiers, but he did not want to tear his gaze away from her. Not even Karnwyr biting at his pant leg could tear him away from watching her.

Extra weapons and pieces or armor quickly traded hands for sacks of coin. The Blacksmith didn’t have enough coins for all of the gems that they also carried. They made their way around the market and sold everything that they were able as long as the merchants had the coin for fair prices. 

When they were emerging from the Alchemist’s shop, they were finally confronted with what they feared. “One last chance, Dragonborn. Join me! Think of what all we can do TOGETHER. We would be UNSTOPPABLE.” The Jarl was dressed like the great general that he pretended to be, wearing heavy plate armor and a blue sash to match his soldiers’ armor, complete with the bear motifs that were everywhere in the city. He did not look like the nobleman he had been at that stupid concert the night before in fine silks. _ If anything, he almost looks like a want-to-be Paladin. Just as annoying and frustrating too. Hildr is mine, and I will not let either of you take her from me _ . 

The way that Ulfric looked at her turned his stomach more than even when the Paladin looked at her like that. Bishop knew that look in another man’s eyes when he saw it. _ I will not let him take her. I would share her with that damnable Paladin before I let Ulfric have her, and I will never share her.  _

“Never Ulfric. I will show you why.” Hildr stomped past Casavir and Bishop to stop in front of Ulfric. 

_ So much for trying to keep her quiet and hidden, or away from him. _ She had trudged past the two of them and grabbed the Jarl’s arm in front of everyone there, townspeople and soldiers alike. For a wonder the Jarl allowed her to grab him by the arm and lead him around the city. The Jarl almost seemed to be enjoying this, being so close to her. He held her close as she led him around his city, arm in arm. The Jarl would give Bishop and Casavir cheeky grins when they would take a turn. It almost looked like Ulfric was pretending that he led her through the streets instead of the other way around. 

_ If he tries to take her… _ The streets would run red with blood. Bishop would not leave a single Stormcloak alive for their Jarl’s impertinence. 

Ulfric was taking his time walking with her, she noticed. All the while, he was still trying to sway Hildr to join the Stormcloaks. Telling her of all of the power that she could have, the prestige. Honeyed words instead of force this afternoon to woo her. He promised her not only a high ranking position in his army, but a position at his side. She was almost certain that was supposed to be the more enticing part of the arrangement. None of what he was offering was appetizing, and she hoped that showing him the Dark Quarter would drive home the reason that she had refused him and always would, no matter how many times he would ask her.  _ I have already sided with the Empire, maybe not officially, and even if he doesn’t know it. This rebellion only weakens all of the Empire. Not to mention how I view the honor of being his brood mare, used up and tossed aside after I gave him an heir or two. _ The very thought of him in her bed made her want to wretch.  _ Even if I had wanted it in Helgen. That was so long ago. Before Bishop and helping him in Riverwood. Before I even knew there were Paladins in Skyrim, much less that one of them would be waiting to travel with me and help me to fight off the dragons. _

There were several small dunmer children playing in the filthy street as they approached. She stopped and had Ulfric make his soldiers stop as well. It would not do to have all of the soldiers scare the children in the street. Once she was satisfied that the soldiers would all stay there, she motioned to Bishop and Casavir to stay as well. _ I don’t need Ulfric feeling threatened right now, by either of them _ . They both cocked an eyebrow at her, almost in mirror of each other, but Casavir eventually nodded ascent, after rubbing his nose, and put a hand on Bishop’s shoulder to stop him from doing anything rash. Bishop shrugged out of Casavir’s grasp, and shot Casavir a look that could have cured leather, but did relent and waited there as she had motioned. Bishop got Karnwyr to sit at his feet and wait.

She walked down the stairs at an easy pace and edged closer to where the children played, Ulfric in tow. “Hello sweetheart, would you be able to answer a few questions for me?” The little girl turned her large red eyes on Hildr in surprise before she grinned. If the little girl was surprised from seeing the Jarl and another adult Nord that close to her or something else, Hildr couldn’t say. “Where were you born, sweetheart?” Hildr was crouched down to talk to the little dunmer girl on her own level. “Was it here?” 

_ She would be great with children, and any man who had the chance to have a family with her would be the luckiest man alive. No, she is mine. It will be my family that she has if she wants one _ . Bishop bristled at the thought of her in another man’s arms.  _ I will not let another man have her. _ The wild, feral gaze that Ulfric gave her sickened Bishop. _ I wish I could pluck out his eyes for looking at her like that. I don’t care what they shared that day in Helgen. She is mine! _

_ My lady, what an excellent mother you will make one day. I hope to be there to see it, if it is not my children you have. _ Casavir was almost upset that he was not close enough to hear what was said, standing at the top of the stairs, but just the actions were enough for him right then.  _ Blessed Mara, she is perfect. _ The look that Ulfric turned on his lady was enough to make his blood boil.  _ It was bad enough that Bishop looked at her like that. Do I look at her like that as well? _

The small Dunmer girl nodded her head enthusiastically. “I am a daughter of Skyrim.” The little girl said just what Hildr was expecting, and it warmed her heart that this little girl would use the phrase from the Nord’s propaganda to describe herself. She was young enough to not notice that her family lived in poverty and squalor in the city, or if she did notice, she did not completely understand what all it meant. “And my little brother is a son of Skyrim as well.” 

“Thank you, sweetheart.” She pulled out a sweet from her pack and gave it to the small girl. Her red eyes widened in surprise. “Run along home, little one. I am sure that your parents want to see you right now.”  _ If they saw you out in the street with the Jarl, they are probably worried sick about you right now.  _ Hildr watched the little girl go with a smile on her face.

She rounded on the Jarl as the little girl scurried home. “And this is not even the worst. The Argonians live outside the walls of your city, with even fewer protections than the Elves.” Ulfric seemed not to have heard her or what she was trying to say. _ Blessed Talos the man had a thick skull. He probably didn’t even need a helm in battle with a skull that thick. No wonder he tried to treat me and my dragonborn status as tools for his army. _

“You could be the bound woman to the High King. Wouldn’t you want the power that would come with that? The prestige? Anything that you would ever desire, you could have.” He stepped closer to her, and put his hands on her hips possessively. The wide grin on his lips proved that he was enjoying touching her like that.

She had enjoyed his touch once, so very very long ago. It had felt good after escaping the headsman’s axe. Now it was possessive, demanding, and even threatening. Now it made her stomach turn and she worried as to what her companions would do if they were not currently watching and getting ready to kill the Jarl and all of his men. “Anything?”  _ I have to end this now, before Ulfric starts anything in the streets _ . It would be a massacre, and there was no guarantee that either Casavir or Bishop would survive.  _ I will not lose them. Neither of them _ . Another thought flashed through her then.  _ Would the Jarl hold them both as prisoners to force my cooperation? No. He is not cunning enough for that. He would not be able to stand the thought of me wanting another man while I am with him. Ulfric would kill them and be done with it. He would enjoy my tears more than my defiance and longing.  _

“Anything!” He squeezed her hips tightly, and pulled her hips flush against his. It was clear even in his armor that he was aroused, and in this state with the fire in his eyes, she knew that she was almost out of time. In a moment he would either kiss her or try to claim her right there in the street. She could feel his warm breath on her face. It smelled heavily of spiced wine. 

“Freedom? Love? Choice?” Hildr threw her arm back to gesture back to Bishop and Casavir. They were still at the top of the stairs, she could see them out of the corner of her eye. “Them!?” 

Bishop and Casavir watched what was happening with revulsion. The Jarl of Windhelm, the infamous, pompous Ulfric Stormcloak, was holding Hildr close against himself, in a filthy street, as she tried to lean out of his grasp. While neither of them could hear what was being said in the street below, it was enough for them to know that neither the participants, nor the onlookers, were enjoying the conversation, Hildr least of all. She was starting to gesture wildly, and at once pointing back to both of them at the top of the stairs. “Them!?” That word was clear enough to them both. 

Ulfric laughed at her. 

It was almost the sound of a whip cracking as Hildr slapped the pretentious Jarl full across the face. Hildr struck the Jarl so hard on the jaw that Bishop was surprised that it didn’t unhinge his jaw. Ulfric staggered a few steps, mostly in shock of being hit so hard by the woman he had comforted while Helgen burned, and who had denied him twice already in his own hold. Beside him, Casavir rubbed his nose again, and Bishop winced in sympathy. He remembered when Hildr had punched him in the face and knocked him to the ground. For her to have struck anyone else in any other city, he might not have minded so much, but right here and now, in the middle of the Jarl’s own hold with his soldiers all around them, probably wasn’t the best time. He would have sighed if he didn’t need to keep his wits about him right then.  _ It was a good hit, all things considered _ .

All around the top of the stairs swords could be heard coming out of sheathes, and bow strings being pulled tight. Bishop looked over to Casavir, relieved to see that the other man only had a hand on the hilt of his sword, and that it was still sheathed. It only took a shake of Bishop’s head to dissuade the Paladin from drawing his weapon completely. Even if the two of them could cut their way free, neither of them would be able to make it to her before an arrow took her, and if by some miracle one of them did, they would not leave the city alive. 

If Ulfric’s eyes were wild before, there was no restraint on the monster there now. More than one archer had an arrow trained on her. Hildr could feel them even if she could not see them.  _ Of course I had to act out and hit the Jarl, even if he did deserve it. Blessed Akatosh, I am such an idiot sometimes. Could I have at least waited until we were not in an as heavily patrolled area of the city? _

A red handprint was already blooming across the Jarl’s face as he released his hold on her and covered his face. Ulfric was rubbing his face and working his jaw in shock. Hildr was surprised that she did not completely unhinge his jaw. “Get. Out.” His voice was low and dangerous. He flung out a hand to his soldiers and slowly lowered it. The soldiers lowered their weapons at the command. “And if I see you again, Dragonborn, I will kill you myself.” His tone was proof enough that he would do it, and that she would probably beg for death once he got his hands on her. 

“Then I will seek you out on the battlefield, Ulfric. And I will not hold back when the time comes.” The challenge blazed in her emerald eyes. 

She turned and strolled up the stairs to where Bishop and Casavir waited for her. They each put an arm around her, Bishop’s arm went around her shoulder, and Casavir’s arm was around her waist. She wrapped an arm around each of their backs, holding them close to her in response. They both had hands on their daggers, and strutted around like Saber Cats. Karnwyr growled behind them when he thought anyone got too close. She slowed their pace as they turned to leave the city. They had already traded what they were able to, and the remaining furs that they had would come in handy if they were going to be sleeping under the stars for the next few nights. 

She did not release her hold on either of them until they were at the stables and were taking their mounts from the stable master. The three of them sat their horses side by side, not certain which way to take off to leave the city. Bishop took the lead and led them south, down towards Riften, with a sly smirk on his lips. 


	16. In hot water

Bishop finally made it clear why else he was so reluctant to leave Windhelm, especially since he had no great love of cities. There were hot springs just outside of Windhelm, and they would make for a great location for a camp. He insisted on camping in the small grassy field that was on the other side of the road. After they had picked a location and were setting camp for the night, Bishop pulled Hildr aside.

“If you would like to see how great the hot springs can be, sweetness, pick one out of view of our camp, and I will be only too happy to show you.” He purred the suggestion in her ear, and Hildr felt desire rising in her with his touch.

“Please. Just warn Cas, make sure that he knows to stay in the camp so…” Bishop’s kiss cut her off. It was becoming an annoying, if somewhat endearing, habit with Bishop that he would cut her off with a kiss when she brought up Casavir.

“Of course, ladyship. If you want to hurry off now, I will join you soon.” Bishop turned and went back to setting up camp and making a fire as soon as he was done giving her instructions.

Hildr led her two mares over to where Casavir was grooming his stallion, Justice. He was reciting more poems to the stallion tonight, she noticed. It was love poems again, he must have noticed that she took her time brushing out her mares when she heard him reciting love poems. She stopped behind his back and screwed up her courage.

“Cas, would you do me a favor?” She wondered why she was sounding so shy. It wasn’t like she was doing anything wrong.  _ Aren’t I? I know now how Cas feels about me, and have confessed my feelings as well. _ Still she was going to slip away with Bishop for some fun.

“Always, my lady. You have only to ask.” His answer was as measured as it always was, and given without hesitation, as it had been in Solitude.

“Would you take care of my horses for me? And…” She sighed, unsure how to continue now that it was time to ask. “Can you stay in the camp tonight?”

He turned to give her a measuring look. She thought she saw the heartbreak in his eyes as he realized why she was asking him to stay here.“Yes, my lady. As you wish.” He took her horses, and started to tend to Mist.

Hildr slipped away out into the gathering dusk, and Casavir watched her go over her horses’ backs. Bishop was watching her discreetly as well over the crackling campfire.

Casavir slipped out of the camp once he had finished with Hildr’s mares. He was stripping off his clothing as he moved off towards the hot spring that he had seen her walking towards. He was in his small clothes when he finally found her in the hot water up to her neck, two lit torches on the ground casting a flickering light around her. She was serenely beautiful, her eyes closed, and her red hair pooling behind her on the rocks.

Casavir silently set the bundle of his clothing in the dirt and slipped into the warm, cloudy water near her.

“What took you so long, handsome?” Her eyes were still closed. Casavir could have snuck up and stolen a kiss or two if he had wanted, or had been braver. His past stood in his way more than his vows did.

“I had to finish your horses, my lady.” He murmured, moving closer to her. He felt at least a little bolder. She had called him handsome after all, even if she meant it for another.

Her eyes shot open. She had not been expecting him at all, but she did not pull away from him in the hot spring.

“Cas… are you sure that you want to be here? Do you know what you are asking for by being here right now?” Her voice was still calm and even, like him being here was some ill-thought idea. She had slipped away from the edge of the spring, and her hair spread out around her in the water. 

She looked like a siren from the stories. She was calling to him as the stories said, and she would be his undoing. He was like a ship being led to the rocky shore. He could almost feel himself drowning in her clear emerald eyes. What danger there was here was one he would gladly embrace, and one that he heard her calling him towards almost certain obliteration. 

He didn’t know how to answer her, or what exactly she was implying. He didn’t answer her at all. She must have felt his confusion or uncertainty.

She swam the short distance to where Casavir was in the hot spring. When she got close enough, she reached out to him. She pushed him into a more crouched position, his back against the rock wall, the water up to his neck. The next instant he felt her wrap her arms around him and pull herself close to him. His arms went around her, and he froze. Now he understood what she had been talking about a moment ago. She was already naked except for the necklace that he had bought her for the Crystal Ball, and a ring that she had gotten at the same time.

He felt her legs on his sides as she nestled herself onto his lap, and suddenly he was grateful that he had kept his smallclothes on before getting into the water. She had him pinned up against the side of the hot spring, and his mouth went dry. He was worried that he would give in completely if he looked at her right now, as close as he was to her, and her already naked. He closed his eyes tightly and turned his face away.

“You aren’t ready, Cas.” She gently pulled his face back to look at her. He felt her legs leave his sides, and she moved to his side instead of keeping him pinned against the wall of the spring. “I won’t take advantage of you. If you would want this, you will be in charge of it. Both when and how it happens.”

Casavir was dumbstruck, and blinked his eyes in disbelief. His lady had every opportunity to kiss him or more, and had decided that she would not force herself on him, even if she had wanted him. “My lady?”

“I will not ask you to give up your vows or hold to them, Cas. That is your decision to make. Yours and yours alone. But know that whatever you choose, I will still care for you. Your vows are not what make you my knight, and you will still be my knight even without your vows.” She reached out and rubbed his side under that water. “But you are not going to make that decision here and now. I need you to think about it, really think about it, and what it would mean to you. I will hold with any decision you choose to make, no matter what it is.” She kissed his shoulder. “Now go, Casi. Go get some sleep. I will wake you up when I get back to the camp.”

He felt his heart hammer in his chest, and with every word she told him he felt his heart beat harder and faster.  _ How could she know that what she had said to him was exactly what he was worried about, what he had prayed about? Had she heard him praying? Did she know just how many worries she had just put at ease?  _ She turned and swam away from him to give him privacy as he left. Watching her move away from him may have stung, even if he did enjoy watching her, but he was not going to push his luck right then. And she had given him more than enough to think about for tonight. 

He got out of the water, gathered his clothing and a torch, and left without another word. 

Bishop told Karnwyr to stay and guard the tent. He wasn’t about to leave the camp completely abandoned, now that he noticed that Casavir had left as well. If that Paladin messed this up for him, he would challenge him to a fist fight for her, fighting over her as he did back in Whiterun. He was running off to the hot springs in the near darkness. He had watched her walk off earlier and had a general idea where he was going. Bishop was unbuckling his cuirass before skidding to a halt. In front of him, he saw what would have made his knees buckle. Hildr had pinned Casavir against the edge of one of the hot springs, close enough that if the Paladin’s vows didn’t hold him, she would no longer be Bishop’s woman.

Bishop stepped back, closer to the shadows of the falling night. He watched them, even if he could not hear what was happening before him.

Relief flooded through him when he saw Hildr release Casavir and move to his side in the water. She kissed his shoulder, and then swam to the other side of the hot spring. Bishop waited until Casavir had gotten out of the water, collected his clothing and slowly walked off back to the camp with one of the torches before Bishop removed the rest of his own clothes. Bishop was confused as to why Casavir would keep his small clothes on, but relieved all the same.  _ That Paladin had not even had the guts to try and take what was rightfully mine, even if he had wanted to _ .

Once Bishop was sure that Casavir had gone, and wouldn’t be able to hear him, he placed his clothing, all of his clothing, in a pile and slipped in the water quietly behind Hildr.

“Cas, we already talked about this. Not tonight.” She sounded resigned.  _ What had they talked about? _

Bishop found himself annoyed that the white knight had ruined this night, but he would make the best of this so that she was still happy. He wrapped his hands around her, happy to feel no resistance from clothing under the water. “Guess again, darling.” He kissed her neck from where he stood behind her, and ran his hands down her muscular body, enjoying her slight curves and smooth skin. He could even still faintly smell her rose soap over the smell of the springs. Bishop did not believe that he could get any more aroused, but the deep breath that he took proved him wrong. She leaned back into his naked and scared body, and he felt himself lose his footing, floating back into the spring, and pulling her with him. He pressed himself back against the far wall of the spring, and beckoned her the rest of the way to him, a playful grin on his lips. When she flowed the rest of the way to him, Bishop rested his arms on the lip of the spring and gave her an appraising look.

“Sweetness? What do you want of me? Tell me, and you shall have it.” His voice sounded oddly serious.

“Bishop…” She wound her arms around his neck, and he could feel her knees on his thighs. He rolled his hips in response so that she could feel how badly he wanted her already.

“Anything, Princess.” He turned her face to him so that he could look into her eyes, even in the dark. “Anything.” He placed his hand back on the lip of the spring.  _ You already have my heart, and anything else would be just a trifle _ .

“Do you not want to touch me, Bishop?” She sounded upset that his arms were not around her.

“Princess, tonight is all about you. You can feel free to use me as you wish. I am yours alone.”  _ I am totally and utterly yours _ .

Bishop pushed his hips forward to give Hildr more access to him. He felt her rub against him, and he threw his head back and groaned. He was probably going to regret telling Hildr she was in charge and to use him as she wished.  _ No. Not really. I am totally hers _ . She was rolling her hips more roughly against him now, and he felt himself grow harder with each movement she made. “Please,” he groaned. Her movements were driving him crazy, and he could feel his restraint fraying like a half cut rope.

“Please what, Bishop? Remember, you have to be very specific for me.” She moaned the words to him. She kissed his ear, and nibbled on his earlobe.

“Let me please you, sweetness. Let me please you out here in the hot water under the stars.” He wanted nothing more than to take control and show her exactly how much she meant to him. “I have to have you. Here and now.” He held the back of her neck with one hand, still not moving his back or his other arm from the rock behind him, and kissed her. She was panting when he broke off the kiss. “Am I stirring something inside of you, princess? Desire? Passion? I’ll gladly stir it some more until you give into it.” She ran her hands down his chest to his hips, reaching between her legs, and kissing his neck. She palmed him and felt him shudder. She firmed her grasp, and ran a tight circle made with her thumb and index finger down the length of his erection. He moaned and tensed his arms. He was fighting with himself to keep his arms on the ledge behind him.

“Now, now, ranger.” She said it in a mocking tone, kissing his shoulder. “Hands behind you for now.” She nipped at his neck, as if she meant to leave a mark on him. 

“Damn you, woman. Don’t make me beg.” He was getting desperate for her. He wouldn’t be able to withstand this forever. “I need you.”

She kissed his neck again, feeling his racing pulse under her lips, and rocked her hips closer against him. “Need me, Bishop? Didn’t know you were a man for needing things.”

“The only thing I need…” He leaned his head back over the lip of the hot spring, enjoying everything that she did to him.

“Is me?” She answered for him. She clawed down his sides, letting him feel the scrape of her nails on his skin.

His resolve snapped at that. His arms snaked around her, and pulled her close against him. Pulled her in closer by her hips. He kissed every inch of her that he could reach above the water. He left one arm tight around her waist as he rolled her nipple between his fingers with his other hand. “Will you scream for me, sweetness?” He bit her earlobe after he whispered his question in her ear. She was his, and he would make her his again. Her touch seemed to light his skin on fire. And he burned with a desire for her that consumed him. He thrust deep into her and felt her tighten around him. With a careful steady rhythm he made sure that she enjoyed every moment of this. Every roll of his hips, every thrust. “I just need you to know that I will never stop wanting you Hildr.” He said between panted breaths. It was a struggle to keep himself in hand and not rush with her. He ached with his need for her, and wanted nothing more than to make sure that he would fulfill her. He heard her gasp and moan as she came, and after a few minutes he followed her with a groan. 

“Don’t you dare try and leave me, Bishop. Not now.” She ran her fingers through his tousled hair as she pulled him closer to herself. Kissing him as if in thanks.

Once they were both completely spent, they enjoyed the warm water together. The heat from the springs relieved tensions in her muscles that he didn’t completely know were there. He would have prayed to be able to stay there in the hot water for the rest of the night if she would not shrivel like an overripe fruit. 

“Thank you Bishop. You were right, the hot springs are great.” She was rubbing the muscles across his shoulders. 

“Only with great company sweetness. And that you most certainly are.” Bishop was gathering her hair over her shoulder, and into a loose braid. The lingering touches across her chest were not entirely accidental. “Do you want to return to the campsite and sleep under the stars?”

“Of course Bishop. Let’s go, and sleep together under the stars. Together.” She slowly unwound her grasp on him and floated away in the warm water, a playful grin on her face, as if daring him to follow her. “Will you help me dress?”

“I prefer to help you undress, sweetness, but I think I could try, for you.” He smiled at her, but didn’t move to swim after her in the spring.  _ My skin is getting too puckered to stay like this much longer. As much fun as it would be to keep her out here, away from her stupid Paladin for the rest of the night, it won’t be worth it if either of us would get sick. _

They hurriedly pulled their clothing on, or tried to anyway. Bishop was too intent on keeping her clothing off her to be of much help to her while she tried to dress, and he was in no mood to get his clothing back on either. Every moment we delay is another moment that she is still all mine. By the light of the single torch that was left, they scurried back to their camp, in the dark. 

Hildr tried to leave Bishop’s side to let Casavir know she was back, as she had promised. “Let his vows keep him warm tonight. You are mine, Princess.” Bishop was pulling her down beside him in the grass next to the campfire. He was determined to hold her all night, like he had wanted to back in Whiterun, and this time she found it easier to just relent to him and his touch in the moonlight.

~~~~~

Casavir woke shortly after dawn.  _ She never woke me. Did she ever return last night? _ He looked over to the empty bedrolls around him.  _ Neither of them returned? I will find her, together we could find Bishop, if she wanted to find the ranger. Bishop. If she wanted to even find Bishop _ . 

He almost flung himself out of the tent, but he stopped and found himself kneeling in the early morning sun. They were both there, laying next to the dying embers of the campfire. Bishop was laying on his side, one arm under her head so that she could use him as a pillow. His lips were almost touching her ear as if he had spoken to her all night until she fell asleep in his arms. Bishop’s other hand rested just below her breast under the hand that wore that silver ring. She was lying on her back, her arms wrapped around herself. Her hair was pooled behind her head, making it look like a halo. A content smile was still on her lips. They must have had each other last night. It made sense.  _ She was not waiting for me in that hot spring. Fool. I had thought myself clever last night to slip away after her. But she had put my troubled mind to rest last night with her words. She would not force my decisions, and she would not force herself on me.  _

Casavir felt a pain stabbing in his chest as he looked at them.  _ Was he jealous of Bishop? Surely not. _ He had not envied another man in so long.  _ Not since _ … He shook his head, pushing the thought away. But Bishop was not just another man. Bishop was the companion of his gentle lady, and her lover. The thought stung him like a slap. It was worse than any of the blows he had taken from the ranger back in Whiterun. Casavir settled himself on the ground opposite the two of them, determined to wait for them to wake on their own. He did not know what if anything he could say to either of them right now. He prayed and waited. 

Hildr was the first to wake, thank Mara. Casavir noticed her gentle stirring movements, and waited for her eyes to flutter open before he softly cleared his throat. She lazily turned her head to look at him. The weak smile she gave him almost made him come undone. She was beautiful in the rosy dawn light, laying there still half asleep. She rubbed Bishop’s arm that held her to the ground, and rolled onto her side before getting up. Casavir hoped that she would come sit by him until Bishop fully woke up, but she leaned against Bishop instead, and rubbed his side and back until her companion awoke. 

“C’mon, Bishop. Time to wake up, sleeping beauty.” She was talking to Bishop, but she never turned her face from Casavir.

“Maybe for a kiss, ladyship.” Bishop still had his eyes closed, but a smirk was forming on his face. 

“Guess you will be sleeping for a long time. Do you think beauty sleep will help him any, Casavir?” Hildr had a devious grin on her face as she asked him. Casavir choked back a laugh at the suggestion, hoping that Bishop would think he was just clearing his throat. Bishop sat up wearily, tense when he realized that they were no longer alone. He pulled Hildr back against him, and buried his face in her hair. 

“My lady, would you be up for training this morning?” Casavir thought winning another round of Hildr’s game would make him feel better about the events of the previous night, as well as watching Bishop right now.  _ It would also give me a chance to be close to my lady, and show off in front of Bishop. And if I can win another round again today, I would end up with another request. _

She moaned slightly as she stretched, and Bishop’s hands moved in open exploration of her. “An excellent idea, Cas. Can you help me pace out a practice area? Bishop, get up. You’re up first.”

She sprung to her feet, and was off. She still wore the dress that she had changed into when they were in Windhelm, even if it was rumpled and soiled now. Casavir was certain that even in a dress that Hildr would be a force to be reckoned with. They quickly paced out a practice area that would work not far from the camp. Casavir found a spot to sit and watch while he waited for his turn. These exercises may take some time out of their day to travel, but it would be good for all of them to be in their best fighting shape while they were traveling together, and that meant that they would need to practice. It would also give Delphine more time to come up with a plan for what to do. Last but by no means least important to Casavir, it meant he could also work on healing spells with her afterwards. She was becoming more adept at healing each time they practiced, and soon should be able to heal as well as he did. 

Bishop was sauntering into the practice ring. He was obviously not a fan of these games, based on what Casavir knew. Hildr said that Bishop never bested her, and from the sound of the conversation after he had bested her on his first attempt in Solitude, Bishop had never come close either. Casavir caught a look from Bishop that would have soured milk still in a cow’s udder.  _ Of course he would not want me to be here to watch. He probably thinks that I will relish his failure. I just want to see what I would be up against if I were to face him again, and who it is that I am fighting beside _ . 

“C’mon Bishie. I’m waiting.” Hildr crooned to him, slowly starting to circle Bishop like a predator. Her steps were slow and deliberate in a wide arc around Bishop. It was much the same way that she had usually started when she was sparring with Casavir. Bishop prickled at her. If it was because of the name or how she had said it, Casavir could not say. “What is it, Bishie. Don’t like an audience?” She lunged forward before she had finished her question, and had meant to tackle him. He dodged just out of her reach at the last second. 

“No, but it is going to take a lot more than that to distract me, ladyship.” He was circling her in return now, much as a wolf would circle before going in for the kill. He circled closer to her, until he had her almost in reach, before he tried to swipe her legs out from under her. “Do you need me to sweep you off your feet?” She jumped as he moved and kicked his shoulder, knocking him to the ground. 

“Really, darling, you are going to have to be more creative than that.” She had pulled him to his feet, and when he went in for a kiss, Hildr twisted his arm behind him and kissed the back of his neck. “Give up yet?”

“Never Princess.” Hildr thought he added “Never for you.” under his breath, but she couldn’t be sure. 

“Charge me then,” she called, stepping away from him quickly. Bishop was backing up as well, and sprinted towards where Hildr was bracing herself, waiting for him. 

Casavir recognized what she was doing from their training session, down to her impish grin. This had been the easiest part of that training.  _ How had Bishop not managed to best her when she did this? _ He quickly understood why. Hildr had crouched down, and when Bishop came closer, she clipped him with one shoulder, turning him and throwing him off balance. The ranger collapsed in the grass with an audible thud. Hildr was kneeling over Bishop’s hips the next instant, pinning both his hands to the ground with one of hers, her other index finger under his chin. 

“I win.” She whispered to him, rubbing under his chin, and up his jaw. She wasn’t surprised when Bishop rolled his hips underneath her.  _ Blessed Akatosh, he never played fair _ . He had done this the first time she had pinned him as well, to show her he was interested in being more than just her travelling companion. Now, she was certain that he was doing it to torment Casavir, and prove that she wasn’t the only winner here. 

“As you say, Princess, but I think I could get used to this view.” He stole a kiss before she leaned up and out of his reach. “Are you going to make your request of me, sweetness, or are you going to make me wait?”  _ Please make the request now, and let it be something to make you happy and our audience blush. Anything for you Hildr. _

“I think I know what I am going to request, Bishop, but I am going to wait a little bit before I ask.” She had a healing spell glowing on her fingers as she offered him a hand up. He took her hand, and the spell, gratefully. She had at the very least knocked the air out of his lungs, and bruised him when she knocked him into the dirt. 

“Cas, your turn. Are you ready?” She pushed Bishop back gently so that he was back outside of the practice area. 

“Of course, my lady. Are you?” Casavir rose to his feet and entered the practice area. 

Hildr watched Casavir as she circled him like she did Bishop. There was something that she had begun to notice when she watched Casavir. He favored keeping his right side towards his opponent. He was careful to always present only his right side, and part of his chest towards whomever he was sparring with, or even whom he was speaking with sometimes. He had the careful steps of one who had trained with a sword for some great time. Based on the way he favored the hand and half sword he wore, she guessed that he had trained with both greatsword and riding sword. 

She made note of his habits, but would not bring it up to him.  _ Not yet _ . She wasn’t absolutely certain what he would do if she brought it up in combat. She wanted to make sure that she had a good grasp on his fighting style before she played her hand and revealed how she would easily beat him every time they sparred. Bishop had presented her no such opportunities to study him. Casavir charged at her, going in for a blow, but was easily pushed aside.  _ That is not like him _ . She realized that he had grabbed her wrist, and was pulling her down with him as he was falling. She would use this to her advantage. She turned to face Casavir as he fell, readying herself to pin him down as easily as she just had with Bishop. 

She had not hardly pinned him down before she felt him buck his hips and flip her down under him. He pinned one arm under her as he flipped her onto her back, and held the other above her head, the arm holding that hand pressed into the grass beside her head. His other hand held her neck, while his thumb was gently rolling the necklace chain against her neck. 

“Have I won again, my lady?” He almost purred the words into her ear. It sent a shiver up her spine and she moaned. 

“Oh, Casi, you are not the only winner here.” She whispered back into his ear. She squeezed his hand, and gave him a wink when he squeezed hers back. “Although, if we stay like this much longer, Bishop may slit your throat for you.”

A crimson blush covered his tawny skin from his neck to his hair when he realized what she meant. When he had first pinned her down under him, he hadn’t realized that his hips were pressed against hers, or that he was practically laying on her. She gently rocked her hips under him to emphasize their present position. He quickly released her hand, and sat back on his feet. He inched back further when he noticed that his knee was now pressed up against her, between her legs. He ignored the gentle groan that she let out when he moved his knee, and looked around for Bishop. Bishop was sitting in the grass at the edge of the ring, glaring at Casavir and tossing his dagger in his hand. He looked ready to use it. 

“Did I hurt you, my lady?” Casavir was starting to cast a healing spell as he offered to help her up. 

“No, Cas. And you may want to save your healing spell. I think I know what I wish to request from Bishop for this morning’s game.” An evil grin was covering her face now. She was still laying on her back in the grass.  _ Whatever it was, it was not going to be pleasant _ . 

“Oi! Bishie! I know what my request is.” Bishop looked over at her, the annoyed look on his face for her calling him that again. “I want to watch the two of you spar. If Casavir will agree, of course.” Bishop almost looked excited now as he tossed his dagger. It was definitely a devilish grin and an evil glimmer in her eye as she said that. She wiggled her eyebrows at him, as if to encourage Bishop to rise to it. 

“Very well, my lady. If Bishop will agree as well, and if it is your wish.” He tried to keep the reluctance out of his voice.  _ She is going to be the death of me, getting me into sparring matches with her lover. Didn’t she remember what happened in Whiterun?  _

She quickly sat just outside the practice ring. “Bishop, no weapons allowed. You know the rules. Either drop it there or give it to me.” She held her hand out to take his dagger. 

“Fine. I will enjoy a rematch from Whiterun anyway.” Bishop handed his dagger over to Hildr as he circled closer to Casavir. He cracked his knuckles and circled Casavir, sizing him up. From just watching the Paladin, Bishop knew that he would not want to be too far away from the other man. Casavir was surprisingly fast for his size, and had gotten Hildr on the ground from charging at her. He wouldn’t make that same mistake. 

_ Clever, Bishop seemed to want to keep in close range, where he would have less of a head start on any attack. _ Casavir kept circling the other man. Neither of them were getting any closer to the other now. There was only enough space between them that they would not hit each other if they both swung at that moment.  _ I need to get him to make the first move. He is easy enough to throw off balance _ . 

As if on cue, Bishop darted for Casavir, winding up a punch for the paladin’s face. Casavir had figured that it would be easy enough to predict the attack, and easily brushed Bishop aside. They were both surprised, however, that Bishop followed where his fist was redirected, and landed face first with a sickening thud in the grass. Hildr was on Bishop almost the instant he fell, ready to heal him of all his injuries. Casavir was close on her heels ready to heal Bishop if there were any injuries that Hildr could not manage.  _ It should not have been that easy to get him to fall…  _

“Alright. Nevermind. Let’s get back on the road.” She pulled Bishop back to his feet, and led the way back to the camp, their arms around each other. 

They struck camp quickly, and were back in their saddles in record time. Hildr insisted that they ride for the full day, and when night fell, she pressed on at a slower pace, not even stopping to sleep. The evening meal was hard cheese and tough meat from saddle bags. She had told the both of them that the plan was to rest in Riverwood, and that was just what she intended to do. 

“My lady, may we talk?” Casavir had rode up beside her in the morning. “Alone.” It was the first time that they had been close to one another since he had pinned her down in training.

“Go on ahead. I will catch up with you. We don’t need Bishop riding up on us if you want to talk.” She pulled up on her reins, letting Casavir go. 

She turned Mist and waited for Bishop to ride up to her. “Bishop. I need to talk with Casavir. Can you hold back for a little while? I will cheer so that you know we are done talking.” 

“Fine, ladyship.” Bishop pulled Kara to a full stop. “Can you make it quick? I will miss you if you are gone too long.” Hildr couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic, or jealous and hurt that she would leave him to talk to Casavir.  _ Being knocked down into the dirt face first was probably not helping either _ .

“I will be back shortly, handsome. Promise.” She kicked Mist up to a gallop and passed Casavir. 

Casavir forced Justice to a gallop as well. When she slowed her horse to a walk, he did as well. “My lady. Have I done something wrong?”

Hildr was confused.  _ Why would he think that he had done something wrong? Was he upset that I had been distant? _ She was determined to not tempt him on his decision on his vows. “No, Cas. You didn’t do anything wrong.”  _ If anything, I did something wrong. I should not have kissed you that night _ . “I do not want to tempt your decision on your vows is all.”

“I would like to make my first request then, if I may, my lady.” His request may have been hesitant, but he sounded relieved that he had not done anything wrong.

“Yes, Casi?” She could hear the strain in her voice, and reached for her waterskin. Drinking would also give her a chance to collect her thoughts, and delay her response if needed.

“If we are able, in Riverwood, I would like to spend the evening and all night with you. By your side.” He blushed, realizing what it must sound like he was implying. “Not that, I... My lady. I would not ask that of you. It is just...” He turned an even darker shade of crimson as he trailed off and tried to regain his thoughts. Hildr coughed from her saddle, as she had choked on the gulp of water when he had asked to spend the night by her side. 

She rode close enough next to him now that she could place her hand on his thigh, and cleared her throat to make sure that she would not cough any more. “Cas, I meant what I said in the hot springs. I want you to make that decision for yourself. It is not something that I can decide for you.” She let out a long breath. “And I am not sure you really understand why I want you to be sure. But if this is your request, may I add some conditions to it?”

He gave her a slow but confused nod. He would trust anything that she told him to do without a second thought, if traveling together had been any indication. He had trusted every decision she had made since the ball in Solitude, and never regretted a single decision. She waited a few long minutes to collect her thoughts, and for his blush to fade. 

“I will tell Bishop about this. I won’t let him torture you again over something like this, and I don’t want to have to collect the two of you from the guards again. With any luck, hearing it from me will stop any of that from happening. If I can get him settled, we should be left undisturbed for the night. That is what you would want, right?” 

Casavir was blushing again. The scarlet blush on his cheeks was the most endearing answer that he could have given her. He looked away quickly. 

“So that is a yes, even if you won’t say it.” She nodded, not expecting any response from him. 

“Yes, my lady.” He sounded embarrassed that she would phrase it like that. 

“If we are sharing a bed tonight, we are sharing it for the whole night. I am not waking up to find you sleeping on the floor in the morning, or Bishop in my bed instead of you. I can sleep in my bedroll as well if it will give you extra peace of mind that I won’t be taking advantage of you.”

She didn’t think it was possible, but his cheeks seemed to turn a darker red.  _ Did he really think that I would be so inconsiderate of his vows? I had told him I would follow what he decided, and I mean to not sway him at all. Maybe he didn’t even really think about how we would be sleeping _ ? 

“And Bishop will need some of my time so that his ego is not entirely bruised. Will you be fine with that in response?” Casavir’s blush had not gone away, and if possible she thought it might become permanent on the Paladin’s face. 

Casavir had figured that this would be part of the response to his request. Bishop was her lover, and would be wroth to let her spend all of her time with any other man. “Of course, my lady.” It sounded like the acknowledgement hurt Casavir physically, but there was no time for that now. 

“Are there any considerations that you would want?” She tilted her head as she looked over at Casavir.

“Only to spend my time with you, my lady. And if it is agreeable, would we be able to have another evening like it?” He sounded that he was nervous for either response she would give him. 

She giggled at him after a moment. “If I didn’t know any better, I would say that Bishop is starting to wear off on you, Cas. It almost sounds like you are asking if I would be interested in courtship.” Hildr let Mist frisk a few sideways steps. “Yes.” She wasn’t sure if she was answering his request for more than one evening with her, or her own question as to if she would consider any request from Casavir for a chance at courtship. She galloped off, cheering at the sky, before either of them could change their mind. 


	17. Wishing on Falling Stars

They arrived at Riverwood only some time past midday. As soon as they were in the inn, Bishop again ran to Orgnar as if to a long lost lover. Hildr met with Delphine, and started sweet-talking the innkeeper to get the use of her finer room for the night. She wouldn’t tell the woman more information than was needed, but Delphine was sure to have figured something out by how Hildr was acting. Hildr took her bag, as well as Casavir’s, to be stowed in their room. Hildr had tasked Casavir with going through the supplies to decide what needed to be sold while she spoke with Delphine. Hildr and Delphine stepped into the hallway through the closet to go over what the plan would be to get more information from the Thalmor. The best way that Delphine could come up with was to get Hildr into the embassy. That was the last that Casavir had heard before the false back of the closet slid back into place. 

To say that Casavir was nervous for that evening would have been a gross understatement. It had been so long since he had even been physically close with a woman, and he had never had such feelings for anyone before.  _ Not that we will be intimate tonight. Not like that. Mara have mercy, if she asked me to, I wouldn’t say no. _ He couldn’t stay in their room right now. He sorted through the items in their bags, and took the items that he knew would not make a difference to their journey to be sold at the shops in town. 

His first stop was to the blacksmith. Hildr had damaged her bow when she threw it aside while fighting the dragon in Kynesgrove. She had tried using Bishop’s bow to bring down game while they traveled, but repeatedly missed her shot, blaming the bow. Alvor was at his forge, and was accommodating to Casavir’s request for a case for the new bow, as well as arrows and a quiver. The weapons that they had collected were more than enough to pay for the bow, and Casavir went off to see the rest of the things at The Riverwood Trader. Camilla and her brother were always kind to Casavir when he was there, especially once he made it known that he traveled with Hildr. Hildr had done them a favor before Casavir had joined the merry band, and returned the golden claw that sat on the counter. He had not intended to purchase anything from them today, but relented when he saw the collection of spell tomes they had, especially the healing ones. He sold off the rest of what he had brought with him before going back to the forge for the bow, case, and arrows, and then the inn to prepare for the evening. 

Hildr was not in their room yet, and the false panel of the closet was still closed. He carefully arranged the bow, case, and quiver full of arrows on her side of the bed for her, as well as the notebook he had bought for her in Windhelm. He had filled several of the earlier pages with poems as well as some sketches of her.  _ I hope she likes it. She is a beautiful subject.  _ Several of the sketches were copies of the ones that he had made in his own notebook of her. She inspired more than one of the poems written in the pages of her book, as well as his. Again it was the better poems that made it into her notebook. He had thought to leave the small leather bound notebook open for her to one of his favorite poems, but with Delphine there as well, he did not want to embarrass his lady. He left a single blue mountain flower he had picked on her pillow as well. Satisfied with how everything was arranged, he slipped back out of the inn. 

Bishop eyed Casavir as he left the inn again. It was clear that Casavir was nervous about something, he was practically pacing back and forth through the inn. Bishop turned back to the empty tankard in front of him.  _ What did it matter to me what Casavir did? She is mine. I love her, and I will tell her tonight _ . 

As if his thoughts summoned her, she appeared next to him at the bar, no longer in her armor from the road, but in a dress. “Ladyship. Where is our room? I think I would want to relax, with you of course.” He rubbed his hand up and down her side. _ I want her, right now.  _

“C’mon Bishop. Your room is over here.” She took his hand and led him to the room across the inn from where she had just appeared from. 

“My room, sweetness?”  _ No. She had to be joking _ . _ I need her by my side tonight and every night. _

“You heard me Bishop.” Her voice was soft, but firm.

“But, darling...” He was whining now. He hated when she heard him whine like that. 

She pinned him against the door as soon as it was closed behind them. “Bishop.” She murmured his name into his ear, and bit his ear lobe. “Casavir asked for his favor. And I will be giving him his request.” Bishop stiffened and tried to push her away.  _ I will tear Casavir limb from limb. She is mine, and he will not make a claim on her. _

“It’s not that Bishop. He just wants my time. The evening and all night.” Hildr was trying to sound soothing right now.  _ No. She is mine this night and every night. I will not let him have her. _

“Princess...” Bishop still struggled under her grasp. He wouldn’t put it past the Paladin to try and take her from him as well. 

“But until then, we can have some fun. And a few ales before this evening with Casavir sounds fine with me.” Hildr ran her hands down Bishop’s side, and pushed closer to him. “Would you want to spend some quality time with me, Bishop?” She kissed his neck, toying with him. It may hurt Casavir for her to come to him smelling of Bishop, but it was hurting Bishop to know that she would be with Casavir tonight, even if they were not doing anything intimate. 

“Always, ladyship. I….” her kiss cut him off. She stepped back, pulling him with her into the room and away from the door. When she felt the bed frame pressed up against her calves, she pulled him onto the bed with her. It was only a single cot in this room so the best arrangement was for him to pin her down to the bed. She did not care, and he seemed almost too happy to have her under him. His fingers quickly undid the neckline of her dress, and pulled it down. He covered her neck, shoulders, and the tops of her breasts in kisses and gentle nips.  _ She is perfect and she is mine _ . 

He did his best to leave a bunch of small bruises all over her neck and chest in a random pattern of spots. _ Let Casavir think of that what he would want. And maybe these small marks would give that knight pause.  _ He pushed his erection against her, silently pleading with her. When she threw her head back to moan, he took it as an invitation. Bishop pulled her dress up around her waist. He ran his hands up and down her strong thighs.  _ Mine. She is all mine. _

“I need you, Princess. Please.”

He felt her fumbling with the ties of his trousers and ripping his shirt off of him. She pushed his leather trousers down off his hips before pulling him closer against her again. He was only too happy to oblige.  _ She cannot leave my bed for his if she cannot walk. I will not surrender her, and he doesn't have the guts to take her from me _ .

Hildr seemed frantic in her need for him. She was the one doing most of the movement for the two of them, and Bishop was happy to relax and enjoy it.  _ Whomever she was with before me is definitely missing out now. I will not give her up for anything. There will never be another woman for me if she is this good _ . He pinned her hands above her head as he pushed against her again and came inside her. He collapsed on top of her and kissed her neck and chest again, making sure that she took everything he had to give her.

He felt like he was home when he was done. Hildr was curled up against his chest, asleep in his arms.  _ Gods she is beautiful, and she is mine, no matter what that damned Paladin thinks _ . He drew a deep breath, steeling himself for how unbearable this evening would be, not only for having her away from him, but knowing that Casavir was making moves on his woman. Her floral scent was so intoxicating, as was the smell of sex that still hung heavy on both of them.  _ Good. Casavir should recognize that and what it means, and it should stop him from having any ideas of who she belongs to _ . He untied her intricate braids, and ran his fingers through them, breaking them up. The small bruises he had left were starting to darken on her creamy skin. 

If he believed that the gods were real or that they would listen if he prayed to them, he would have prayed that this moment of bliss would last forever. 

Casavir was still nervously pacing around their room for the night. He had already changed into clean clothes, and had stored his weapons and armor in the corner of their room with her belongings. It was not long after that when he had taken to pacing back and forth in the small room.  _ It may be a bad habit of mine when I get nervous, but right now, it seems to help some. Relax, Casavir, it is only spending time with her. It is what you have wanted since you first spoke to her. No, since I first laid eyes on her. Without anyone around, it will be so easy to… No! I will not behave like Bishop would. I do not even know for sure if she cares for me as I care for her. She deserves romance, and to be swept off her feet. Blessed Akatosh, if I would be able to do that… If I would be able to do that, I would turn back time to find her sooner and live a longer life with her. _ Casavir took one last deep breath and walked out of the room that Hildr had rented them for the night, and into the common room. Unsurprisingly, Bishop was at the bar, and was pawing at Hildr as she sat beside him. 

“I have everything outside, my lady, if you would care to join me.” Casavir helped her up from the bar where she had been sitting and drinking with Bishop.  _ I would not put it past him to try and stay with her. She must have told him about the arrangement for tonight by now.  _ She also kept her hair down now, while this morning she had kept it in intricate braids that not even Bishop could have managed. She had also changed into a light dress, when this morning she had worn her new quilted armor over a heavier dress.

He led her out of The Sleeping Giant Inn and across one small stream to the mill. The owners had not minded him poking around earlier, and had almost seemed excited when he said he planned to have dinner with his lady there under the stars. Ruefully Casavir remembered that he had said she was the Dragonborn. Ralof had told them about what had happened at Helgen, and they were relieved when the soldiers came back to protect Riverwood. They remarked that a red-haired woman had been seen leading the troops back, Ralof had pointed her out as a compatriot, even if she had left the ruins of Helgen with an Imperial. When Casavir told them that woman was his lady, they had offered to lay out as many furs as he would want for the two of them, as well as anything he would need for a meal for them both. They had even offered to clean up the next morning so the two of them wouldn't have to worry about a thing.

Traveling with his lady did hold surprises, but he was very grateful for their hospitality and kindness. It would make everything easier to manage, and would be one less thing for him to have to worry about tonight.  _ I already have too much on my mind. Too much to worry about. _ A gentle squeeze on his arm brought him back to the moment. 

He led her over to where everything had been prepared, at the very edge of the small island looking out towards the river and Whiterun. With the tree to their backs, they were able to nestle in comfortably and be able to stay hidden from any prying eyes. Casavir helped her settle herself before he went back to where he had left everything out there on the nearby stump. He insisted on serving her. She happily sipped the honey sweetened berry tea as he dished up the thick fragrant stew.

“Do you like spicy foods, my lady?” He sounded nervous as he handed her a bowl, as if he should have asked her long before then. 

“I love spicy foods, Cas. The hotter the better.” His shoulders relaxed at that. “Should I be worried?” She swirled the bowl in her hands, looking up at him through her lashes.

“No, my lady. It is not that bad.” He handed her a chunk of crusty bread anyway before serving himself. 

He sat down gingerly on the blanket near her. She inched towards him until she was close enough to him to lean into him if she wanted. Thankfully he didn’t move.  _ I don’t think I could take it if he wanted to play tag out here _ . They ate in a comfortable silence, Hildr only remarking on the excellent stew he had made for them. When Hildr was done eating, she set her bowl to the side and leaned into him. She felt his arm move around her shoulders so that she could lean more comfortably against his shoulder, or his chest instead of the tree. She heard him take a deep breath.

“Is rose your favorite scent, my lady?” He sounded like he had relaxed as he asked her that, a smile on his face. 

“Yes, but I do like all floral scents. Why, do you like how I smell?” She shook her head gently so that her scent would float up to him. 

“It suits you.” He gave her an appreciative chuckle as if it were the most natural thing in the world for them to be talking about. He looked down at her then, and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. He was startled to see so many small bruises all over her neck and chest when he did that. “My lady, what happened?” His fingers ran lightly over the marks on her neck and to her chest above the neckline of her dress. 

A deep crimson blush covered all of her face and neck, almost obscuring the marks. “Nothing that you need to worry about, Cas. Bishop…” Her hands were on his. He hadn’t noticed that he had clenched the front of her dress in his fist until she gently prying his fingers open. He let go of her dress, and let her hold his hand in both of hers.  _ That damn Ranger. Is he that possessive of her? That worried that something would happen between her and I? Well, I have been taunting him when she is in my arms, and her being here with me now is not helping my cause any. I would not do that to her unless she would want it of me. She deserves more than what I can do for her right now _ . She was holding his hand up to hers, as if to compare the sizes. She had a look of deep concentration on her face as she was examining his hand. He smiled, and interlaced his fingers with hers. She kissed his chest, and rested their joined hands on her hip as she relaxed into his shoulder. 

“Thank you for the journal, Cas. And the bow, case, and arrows as well I suspect.” She ran her free hand behind his back, pulling herself slowly closer to him.  _ Thankfully he is not trying to pull away, or he doesn’t notice what I am trying to do.  _

“Do you like the journal, my lady? It was all I could do in return for the beautifully embroidered shirt.” She edged ever closer to him, now almost hip to hip with him out under the stars.  _ So that was what Casavir bought when Bishop bought me the silk wrap and chainmail corset _ .

“Yes. The drawings are beautiful.” She paused looking up at him. “Did you write those poems yourself?”

She thought she saw him blush slightly in the gathering twilight. “Yes.”  _ His one word answers are the most endearing. _

“You don’t have to answer, but were they about me?”

He cleared his throat.  _ So that is a yes then _ . She was not surprised to hear him indirectly confirm it, but it was still a small shock given what she had read from the journal so far.  _ For an order that forbids intimacy, some of those poems come across as rather incredibly intimate _ . 

“Do you enjoy reading, my lady?” Hildr could feel his thumb moving across her hip bone, and she almost melted at the touch. If he was going to keep this up, it would be very hard to give him any kind of answers in a little bit. _ Just don’t moan from his touch. Not yet. Not until he tells me about his vows, but blessed Dibella if he keeps this up, he better answer now.  _

“If those poems written in my journal are by your hand, I shall endeavor to enjoy it more.” She did her best to purr the answer up at him in her best sultry voice.

“If you wish it, I will add more poems when I can for you.”

“I would like that. Very much.” Casavir was also an excellent artist. She thought that the drawings of her in the journal were not the original sketches of herself, but that he had copied them out of his own journal that she had seen. She was also finally close enough to wrap an arm around his strong chest, leaving his hand on her hip, and she leaned into him so that his shoulders and back were firmly pressed against the tree behind the two of them.  _ I have you pinned in place now Casavir. And there is no chance that I will let you go anytime soon. You are mine Casavir. All mine. I do not know if I will even give you back to your Order, even if they try and demand you return to them.  _

With his arm that was already behind her, he pulled her closer and his hand went over the other one already on her hip. His arms were now the whole way around her, and he pulled her against him in the darkness. It was not cold this far south in Skyrim, but the nights were still cooler than what he was used to in Cyrodiil. He was grateful to have her warmth.

This was becoming too common the pattern with her time with Casavir. Close together, looking up at the stars.  _ It will do for now, but soon I will want more from him. _ “Casi, have you ever made a wish on a falling star?” 

“If I have, my lady, it has been a very long time since I did.” He chuckled again at the suggestion, sending a rumble through her.  _ How I enjoy the sound of his laughter, even if it is not a common thing _ . 

As if on cue, a star shot across the sky. “Did you make a wish, Casi?” She giggled and rubbed her cheek against his strong chest. “Now what would a man like you wish for?”  _ Please let it be for me _ . She put a fist to her mouth as she yawned, and leaned more heavily into him.  _ My knight, and my protector. I could sleep out here under the stars with him, and I would not even fear a dragon. I would gladly do much more than sleep beside him if he would let me _ .

“Shall we go back to our room, my lady?" She could almost feel him blush beside her. He cleared his throat. “My lady, I…”  _ Yes, I guess it is our room, isn’t it?  _ She quickly brushed her fingers over his lips to silence him.

She curled up onto her knees and sat back on her heels looking at him as she yawned again into her fist and stretched. “I know. Let’s go.” He watched her sinuous movements and would not look away no matter how she tried to make it obvious that she was flaunting her slight curves for him. She grinned to herself, noticing that he seemed more content to sit there and just watch her instead of getting back to the privacy of the inn.  _ Maybe Bishop isn’t the only one who wants to have some fun out under the stars _ . 

She pulled herself up to her feet, and wrapped an arm around his strong back once he was on his feet as well. She refused to let him pull away from her, no matter how hard he had tried to escape her grasp.  _ Even if it is only to open the door for me, there is no guarantee that I will be able to get my arms back around him if he lets me go. I also wouldn’t put it past Bishop to still be up, waiting for Casavir to back down, or for me to change my mind about all of this. And that is only if he is not lying in wait to steal me away from Casavir.  _ It was not until they were in their room that she let go of him. She was at her side of the bed before she noticed that he had not followed her into the room, and was still standing just inside the door. Every time she had gotten close to him before it had been she who approached him. She had been worried that he would react like this. Frozen in his tracks, fear in his eyes, any bravery he had outside under the stars gone from him now. She slowly went back to where he was and stood before him. 

“Cas.” She called to him, quietly, trying to rouse him without startling him. She ghosted her fingers down his forearm. “Cas. You are safe here with me.”

Casavir froze when he entered their room and felt the door close behind him. He watched as Hildr crossed over to the bed. His mind raced.  _ What have I gotten myself into? I was much braver only a few minutes ago. Before I was in here with just her. What will she ask of me tonight? Blessed Dibella, I will give her anything she asks _ . He didn’t notice her come back to stand in front of him. He only distantly heard her call his name, and felt her delicately touch his forearm. 

“Cas. You are safe here with me.”

“Of course, my lady. I would not doubt it for a second.” He gave her a nervous smile. “It is just…”

“Relax, I am not going to take advantage of you, Cas. If there is anything that you want from me, you have only to ask it of me tonight.” Her one hand was on his face, the other in his hair, he realized, and he was not sure that he wanted to have her release him. “It’s time to get ready for bed.” 

He went to his side of the bed, and loosened his trousers. He was going to remove them, but thought better of it. He did not want to seem too forward with her, and if he could have slept comfortably, he would have considered sleeping in his armor to keep himself safe.  _ No, I just need to keep her safe from me, from the monster that I am _ . He satisfied himself with just taking off his shirt.  _ The shirt she embroidered for me _ . He rubbed the embroidery under his thumb as he waited. He sat on the bed, his forearms resting on his knees, looking down at the floor in front of him, and at the blue mountain flowers she had embroidered for him as she got ready as well. Some part of him had wanted to look over at her as she got ready for bed, but couldn’t bring himself to look. _ My vows will not survive even a look. _

It was with a small surprise that he felt the bed shift behind him, and her knees slide to either side of his hips, her dress against his lower back. Her hands were on his back, and rubbing away his worries with the knots in his muscles. He found himself relaxing, and moaning appreciatively under her touch. 

She kissed his neck as he moaned when muscles loosened. She was apparently enjoying this as much as he was. “Casi.” She purred his name in his ear, and he had to stop from shivering. 

“Yes, my lady?” He all but groaned in response. She was dangerously good with her hands, and he was sure that she knew it. Whatever she had done before he had met her, this had to be part of it. 

“Will you tell me now why your order denies intimacy?” She was still rubbing down his back and loosening what muscles she was able to reach. 

He had stiffened immediately at her question. “No.” All of the work she had done on his muscles was already wasted, but she seemed not to notice his reluctance. 

“You know that there are many forms of intimacy, right? Our conversations, this-” she pressed harder on a knot in his shoulder, releasing it as he groaned enjoying the feeling of her skilled hands - “even your poems.” She whispered that last bit directly into his ear. “Are they all forbidden?” She kissed his neck again. 

“No, my lady. Only…” he stopped, unsure how to tell her. He had felt his control chip away with every kiss and every released knot. “Only those that would threaten our sense of restraint, or our dedication to serve others before we indulge our own desires.” It was not a lie, but there was much more to it than what he told her. “My lady, I must go. I will trade rooms with Bishop and send him in here. I should not be here. I cannot…” He started to rise and found he had to struggle from her grasp. Her arms were around his chest and shoulder pulling him back into her and keeping him on the bed in front of her. 

“No, Casi. This was one of my conditions, remember. We are sharing the bed for the whole night.”  _ She had been expecting this then? _ He stopped struggling as he realized it was futile to try and resist her and get away. 

“Yes, my lady.” He sighed. “As you wish of me.” He was ashamed to admit he sounded like a man going to the headsman’s axe.  _ Her touch felt too good, and felt like her fingers left sparks trailing under his skin. He almost felt like he was on fire the way that she held him right now. It was almost too perfect. Please do not ever let go, my lady. I will be nothing but an empty shell without you. Blessed Akatosh forgive me, but I wish to stay with her for all time. Blessed Mara, please let it be so.  _

“Don’t sound so glum, Casavir. I thought this was your request.” He felt her hands gently rubbing his back again, hesitantly this time as if she was worried he would ever reject her touch.  _ There is no reason to be shy or afraid, my lady. Not in this. _ She was not still kissing his neck and shoulders, however. She continued when he didn't answer her. “I am sorry that I asked again so soon, Cas. I had hoped that you would tell me by now.” She was done rubbing at his back and moved out towards his sides. “I doubt you would want to play our little game again either.” Casavir thought he felt dampness when she touched her cheek to his shoulder again. He rubbed the back of her hand to stop her tears. 

“You do not need to apologize to me.” He rubbed his thumb along her knuckles as he thought for a moment. “Do you know any other games, my lady?”

“Would you want to play a kissing game?” She kissed the side of his neck after she asked, wanting to make sure he knew she was interested in that. He chuckled at that like she had expected, but she noticed that he also did not say no. 

“C’mon Casi, is that a yes?” She was leading him gently onto his back on his side of the bed, and his arms went around her. She nestled in next to him, her hands on either side of his chest. “All you need to do is say stop, or push me away. We can stop whenever you want, my dear sweet knight.”

“Yes, my lady.” His eyes were closing as Hildr leaned into him. Her lips were still sweet from the tea. They were soft when they touched his. He didn’t feel anything snap this time when she kissed him.  _ This felt natural. Right _ . He felt complete for the first time in too long. His fingers ghosted along her jawline before gently grabbing a handful of her hair at the back of her head, and he pulled her closer to himself. His other hand slid down her side until it rested on her hip. _ I have been denying myself too long, and I do not want to any longer _ . He knew that they were in a bed at the inn together, and that Bishop was not far from them.  _ If there will be retribution for this, so be it. I will pay any price for this night, and every other one like it that she will give me _ . 

He felt himself shift under her and he pushed her down into the bed beside him, holding her underneath him with only a kiss. He felt her curves under his fingers as one hand ran down her side.  _ Gods, she is perfect. Dibella could not be half so beautiful as her, even if my lady is not half so voluptuous as Dibella _ . His lips left hers, and began to hesitantly kiss down her throat. His hands finally stopped on her hips. Casavir was adding to the marks that Bishop left earlier.  _ I will show Bishop. She is not only his. Some part of her, no matter how small a part, is mine. She managed to slip past my defenses and made a place for herself in my heart. My soul is more beautiful for having her in my life _ . He could feel his heart racing, as well as hers in her neck and chest when he had kissed her there. 

He looked back up at her then. Her loose red hair which she had used to hide the marks on her neck that Bishop had left earlier was spread out on the pillows now. She was breathless, flushed, and looked like she was eager for more from him. Casavir was ashamed of himself at that moment. He knew that he could not do more than what he had already, and he did not want to disappoint her. _ I have already done too much. _ “My lady. I… I shouldn’t…” She drew him back up to kiss her lips again. He almost crawled back up to her, and if not for his vows he would have not listened to her beckon in favor of doing more for her. If she was upset that he would not be able to do anything else tonight, she did not show it, and she did not say anything to him. He ran his fingers through her loose hair as he kissed her again.  _ She is too good to me if she is worried about me keeping my vows, even after what I just did _ . 

She finally broke the kiss, pushed him down on his back beside her, and snuggled against him. “I trust you, Casi. No matter what. And I will always care for you. Deeply.” She ran a hand across his bare chest leaving a trail of sparks and nestled into the crook of his arm to sleep. He closed his eyes, finally relaxing for the first time in much too long, and ran his hand along her back tenderly. 

He felt her turn in his arms, and he followed her onto his side as well. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back, tight against his chest. “And I will always care for you, my lady. Deeply, as well.” He whispered it into her ear, stroking her belly until she fell asleep in his arms. 

~~~~~

Bishop was still awake, waiting for them to come back into the inn for the night. He had moved from his spot at the bar and was sitting in the deep shadows by the door, Karnwyr sleeping at his feet. Just when he was starting to give up hope of them coming back in for the night, he watched them both try to sneak into the common room before crossing into Delphine’s room. 

Bishop took another swig of his ale. He had lost count of how many he had drank since Hildr left his side for the Paladin’s tonight. It was more than normal, that much was for sure. When he heard the door to Delphine’s room close, he knew that there would be no chance of Hildr changing her mind and wanting him tonight instead. With a resigned sigh, and one last look at the door they had both just gone through, he slowly and unsteadily got to his feet. 

_That damn Paladin had gotten through her defenses faster than I had._ _She is mine, but I am losing her to Casavir. No! I will not lose my woman to that damn Paladin as well!_ Bishop staggered the length of the inn to his room. He knew that he wouldn’t be sleeping that well at the inn, even before he figured in how much he had to drink waiting for the two of them to come in from their romantic time tonight, and to distract himself from the fact that the two of them would be sharing a bed tonight while he had only Karnwyr at his side again.

He awoke to sunlight streaming in the small window set high in the wall of his room. Hildr was seated on the bed at his side, playing with his hair. She was twisting his hair around her fingers. He rolled onto his side and reached for her, pulling her against him. Her hair was braided today and one simple thick braid hung over her shoulder. The silk wrap he had given her was loosely wrapped around her head and neck. He tugged gently at the section that covered her head to loosen it. When the wrap fell away, he saw more than just the bruises he had left on her neck yesterday. Bishop couldn't decide if he wanted to kill the other man or weep.  She blushed and started to turn away from him before she felt his hand on her arm.

"I should have made sure you couldn't leave my bed yesterday, ladyship. Then maybe you would still be mine.” Bishop was angry with himself that he sounded so close to tears. 

"Nothing happened, Bishop.” She hesitantly reached up and re-covered her neck and head with the wrap. “Now come on sleepyhead. It is time to get up. We have a long day ahead of us." She leaned down and kissed his lips as if to tell him to hurry. After a heartbeat, Bishop kissed her back.

Bishop met them out in front of the inn, where they already had the horses saddled and were waiting for him. They had agreed to ride through Whiterun on the way to Solitude, and Bishop was already exhausted by the idea as he walked down the steps towards his mare, Kara. Thankfully she was already saddled, no doubt Hildr’s doing. 

They had barely made it out of Riverwood before Hildr stopped them. “Bishop, you don’t look good. Do you want to ride behind me today?” She was standing at his stirrup, her hand on his knee as she spoke to him.  _ When did she dismount? _ She helped him down from Kara after giving the reins over to Casavir when he rode back to them.  _ Damn Paladin is probably gloating right now, the weak ranger can’t even ride anymore.  _ She got back on Mist, and pulled Bishop back up to his old spot behind her. She pulled his arms tight around her to hold him up in the saddle. Bishop rested his head on her shoulder and moaned softly as he played with the wolf ring still on her finger. 

She controlled Mist with just her knees to make sure that she could hold Bishop behind her while he slept against her back. Apparently he could not sleep at all without her. She would have to remember that for the next time, and make sure that he got enough sleep tonight. 


	18. A fool in need

They set an easy walking pace as they left Riverwood further behind them, Karnwyr close on the horse’s heels. Casavir, who had been riding at her side when they first set out, now led the way, as if he could not stand to watch Bishop paw at her again.  _ Given that for all intents and purposes I was his last night, I am not sure that I exactly blame him on that count. _ She stroked Bishop’s hand again, some small part of her feeling guilty that he was this out of sorts since he hadn’t slept last night.  _ I cannot help how he reacts to things like this. It should not be my responsibility to take care of him. Shouldn’t I? It is something I would do as his wife. Not likely that would ever happen. He said himself, many times when we first started traveling together, that he was not interested in settling down and having a family _ . 

She looked ahead at Casavir sitting straight backed in his saddle astride Justice. The man seemed to gleam in his steel armor, and with his snowy white stallion, he seemed almost to be sent by the Divines themselves to intercede on man’s behalf.  _ Such a proud warrior and tool of the gods. Did he ever dream of another life. Would he want a different life? Would he want one with me? He seemed ready enough to join me and fight by my side when we left Solitude. And last night… _ She felt the fire rise in her cheeks remembering how much she had enjoyed his attention last night.  _ What little he had done was amazing, and felt better than when Bishop had done much the same things. Was it because Casavir was still off limits? Would his kisses taste as sweet or leave the same fire in their wake if he didn’t have his vows? _ Bishop’s hand stroked down her thigh.  _ Thoughts for another time apparently. _

As they rode near the towers that marked the boundaries of Whiterun and the Pale, they came upon a truly eccentric sight. A small man in a red and black jester’s costume, standing behind a broken wagon, the horse along the side of the road, grazing in the green grass. Hildr led the merry band closer to the little man instead of giving the scene a wide berth. She passed Casavir and made sure to ride down the center of the road so that he would not be able to pass her unless he was desperate to do so. 

“Agh! Bother and befuddle! Stuck here. Stuck! My mother, my poor mother. Unmoving. At rest, but too still!” The little man seemed to be cursing and yelling to himself and the crate in the wagon. 

Hildr pulled on her reins, stopping Mist, and forcing Casavir to stop as well. Bishop was still half asleep where she held him behind her on the saddle. “Is there a problem?” The little man in the road looked around before he noticed that she was speaking to him.

“Poor Cicero is stuck. Can’t you see? I was transporting my poor, sweet mother. Well, not her. Her corpse.” Hildr shared a confused look with Casavir, and Casavir only gave her a small shrug in response to her. “She’s quite dead. I’m taking my mother to a new home. A new crypt. But… Aggh! Wagon wheel! Damnedest wagon wheel! It broke! Don’t you see?” Cicero seemed to almost caper as he spoke to the two of them, and ignored Bishop, who was still clutching her waist to hold himself upright. 

Hildr rubbed Bishop’s hands to get him to release her before she pinched his leg to wake him. When Bishop let go of her, she awkwardly got down from Mist and walked over to the peculiar man. 

“Will the kind lady help poor Cicero?” The small man capered in the road behind his laden wagon. He looked bizarre dressed as he was in a jesters red and black costume. The bells on his hat and outfit tinkled as he moved in the middle of the street. He was certainly not dressed warmly enough to be trekking across Skyrim. 

“Where are you heading?” She slowly crossed closer to the small man. Cicero seemed to eye her warily, but with obvious hope and excitement that someone would be there to help him. 

“Princess, this is a bad idea.” Bishop had followed her down off of Mist, but was still leaning against her horse, not wanting to get too close to the strange little man, and not wanting to be any closer to Casavir than was absolutely necessary. Bishop, apparently, was still upset by the bruises that Casavir had left interspersed with his own on her neck, even if he had started it.

“What Bishop?” She crossed back over to him, so that she was standing right in front of Bishop where he was beside Mist. 

“You! Running off to help every poor fool that we pass.” Bishop gestured to where Cicero was capering and talking to Casavir. “None of these people deserve you helping them, so why do you bother? Do you expect us to run into some cave just to find some old dying man’s favorite toy from his childhood?”

“You didn’t object to me running off to help people when it was us running off to save Karnwyr.” She gave the wolf a pat to underline her statement. “So is it just that you object to me helping anyone that is not you?” When Bishop didn’t answer her, she turned and walked back to the jester.

“Is there some way I can help you, Cicero?” She sounded like she was talking to a child, but based on how she had seen the jester acting so far, that may be for the best. 

“Oh. Oh yes! Yes, the kindly lady stranger can certainly help poor Cicero! Go to the farm.” Cicero moved close to her, and Casavir did as well, on her other side. Cicero was pointing up the hill to the small farm just a short way from where they were standing. “The Loreius Farm. Just over there, off the road. Talk to Loreius. The farmer has tools! He can help me, but he won’t! He refuses!” The jester stomped his feet like a small child in anger. He stopped and in a heartbeat was back to a smiling fool. “Convince Loreius to fix my wheel. Do that, and poor Cicero will reward you. With coin! Gleamy, shiny coin!” Cicero was back away from her and capering again and clapping his hands as he danced. 

Bishop stormed off back up the hill towards Whiterun, upset that Hildr would easily offer to help someone in trouble or would need help. Hildr motioned to Casavir to stay there and keep an eye on the little jester. “I will be right back.” Casavir nodded in acceptance, before turning his confused gaze back on the capering man. 

“The farmer is at his farm! Where else would he be? Loreius is his name. Talk to him. Convince him to help poor Cicero.” Hildr could hear Cicero yelling to her, as she walked up to the farm. She could still hear the tinkling of the bells on his outfit, and hoped that Casavir would be safe back there with the crazy little man.  _ If anything, Casavir should be able to take care of himself. He is a trained and anointed knight. He can face whatever will come. _

There was a man standing outside in the garden when she approached the farm at the top of the hill. The man saw her approaching and when she stopped at the fence, he threw his hoe down before lifting his arms skyward. “Oh for the love of Mara. What now?”

“Is something wrong?” Hildr suddenly felt very exposed and uncomfortable standing out there at the small fence. _ Just how friendly was this farmer to strangers? _

“Is something wrong? ‘Is something wrong’ she asks. Yes something is bloody well wrong! Or maybe you missed the demented little man in the jester’s garb down by the road? Goes by the name of Cicero? Crazy fool has asked me to fix his broken wagon wheel five times now. He won’t take no for an answer. Why can’t he just leave us alone?” The Imperial man was gesturing wildly, and Hildr was glad she had decided to stay on her side of the fence for her own safety. 

She twisted the end of her braid nervously in her hand for a moment before realizing what she was doing and throwing it back over her shoulder. Cicero had not mentioned that he had been up that many times to ask for help, and she almost wondered if it was still the right thing to do. “I’m sure he’ll pay you-”

Lorieus cut her off before she could finish. “Pay me? You think this is about money? Have you seen the man? He’s completely out of his head. A jester? Here, in Skyrim? Ain’t been a merryman in these parts for a hundred years. And he is transporting that giant crate full of Arkay knows what. He says it is a coffin, and that he’s going to bury his mother. Mother my eye. He could have anything in there. War contraband. Weapons. Skooma. No way I am getting involved in any of that.” 

"He is a stranger who needs assistance. Please, do the right thing. The fact that he has come up here five times to ask for your help now means that he must be really desperate.” She tried to keep the uncertainty out of her voice, and only hoped that she did not sound too pathetic.

“Look, I… I…” Lorieus heaved a sigh. “You’re right. The man may be crazy, but he also may not. Either way, the fact is that he needs help. If I turn him away what kind of man am I then. Look, um… Thanks.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “And I’m sorry for my unneighborly reaction. If you talk to Cicero, you be sure and tell him I’ll be right down to help soon.” The Imperial man grabbed his hoe from where it had fallen and walked off back to the farmhouse. “I am going to get my tools now. I will see you down there at the wagon in a few moments.”

Hildr turned and walked down the steep hill to where Casavir and Cicero were waiting at the side of the road with the wagon and their horses, a small smile playing on her lips. She knew that she couldn’t help everyone all of the time, but she would do what she could to help whomever she could, whenever she could.  _ Bishop is wrong to think that nothing good comes out of all this. It is only right to do what good you are able to do in life. Life is too short to be miserable to other people _ . She was almost at the road again when she could hear Cicero talking loudly either to himself or Casavir.

“Poor mother… Her new home seems so very far…” The fool seemed to be despondent again, looking at the wagon with the large box in the back, or down at the road in front of his feet. Casavir was still standing there in the road, with his arms crossed over his armored chest, watching the other man with a feigned casual indifference. Hildr couldn’t say for sure, but she thought that Casavir was watching her approach as well and that he approved of her stopping to help someone who was obviously in distress and in need.  _ He is a Paladin, and it is in his nature to want to help people and be seen as a force for good, sent by the Divines themselves. And how lucky I am to have him with me.  _

As she came closer she saw a relieved look bloom across Casavir’s face. If it was for her return or to no longer be stuck with just Cicero, she could not say for sure. “I talked to Loreius. He’s agreed to fix your wagon wheel for you, Cicero. He should be down shortly.” She beamed at the little jester, and enjoyed the look of shock on his face. 

“You… you did? He has? Oh stranger! Oh Kind Lady! You have made Cicero so happy! So jubilant and ecstatic!” Cicero was capering again, and even started to do cartwheels in the road. “But even more! My mother thanks you! Here, here. For your troubles! Shiny, clinky gold! A few coins for a kind deed! Thank you again Kind Lady!” Hildr grabbed a coin purse out of the air as Cicero tossed it to her, and quickly stored it in her pack. She smiled at Casavir, returning the grin that he gave her, most likely for not seeming greedy enough to count the coin right there in the middle of the road. 

“In the meantime, why don’t we get your mother out of the wagon and get ready? Do you need our help Cicero? Many hands make for light work. We would be happy to help.” Hildr was moving closer towards the wagon in the middle of the road, Casavir closing in to stand next to her.  _ His presence is so comforting. What did I do before him? _

Cicero took on a more and more possessive stance with every step they took to the wagon. “Cicero will take care of his mother. The Kind Lady has already helped poor Cicero.” He sounded more menacing than reassuring in that instance, most likely due to the snarl on his face that he might have meant for a smile. Hildr held up her hands in a placating gesture, and quickly walked away from the wagon.

Hildr looked up the hill to the farm to see Loreius coming down the hill from his farm t ools in hand, and looking ashamed that it had taken her intercession for him to help out. She also noticed that Lorieus slowed as he walked towards the wagon, looking back up the hill towards Whiterun. Concern was clear on Loreius’ face, he must have been truly disturbed at what he saw. 

“I will wait for Loreius! Oh yes, mother and I will wait right here, right here until he fixes our wheel.” Cicero was just about capering in the street again with joy over the possibility of being on the move again. Hildr watched the little man as he busied himself getting ready for Loreius to arrive and help him get moving again. 

It was at that time that Hildr also saw what Lorieus had been watching. Bishop was coming back down the hill from the watchtower, with a Whiterun guard in tow.  _ This is the Pale, but I guess that whomever is close enough can take care of this mess. _ Hildr hurried to intercept them, but Bishop and the guard were both running to the wagon. “You there! Fool! Hold fast.” The guard was practically yelling at the poor jester. “You’ve been accused of a crime against the laws of this land. What say you in your defense?”

“Wh...What? A Crime? Me? Preposterous! Poor Cicero is just standing here! Cicero loves order! Oh yes! He would never disrespect the law!” Cicero was switching between quivering with rage and capering as he continued to speak to the guard, and shot looks of pure hate at Bishop. Cicero’s gaze alone could curdle milk, and it was impressive that Bishop decided not to notice. If not for the guard there, Cicero would most likely have a dagger at Bishop’s throat, if not already have him dead. 

“You look like a crazy man to me. And what’s in that coffin, hmm? Maybe some time in a cell will loosen that lying tongue.” The guard sounded confused by the rapid changes in Cicero’s behavior.

Bishop was telling the guard to open the crate and search it, desperately claiming it could be a myriad of different things. _ And that is how he got the guard to follow him into another hold to investigate.  _ “Are you going to stand for that, Guardsman? For all you know, it could be weapons and skooma in that crate. You should open it here and now to make sure. Go on Guardsman, do it.” Cicero looked like he was ready to gouge Bishop’s eyes out at the comments that the other man was making to the guard.  _ If I were in Cicero’s shoes, I am not sure I would feel any differently, even if Bishop is my lover. _

“Unfair! Unjust! Cicero has done nothing wrong! You will pay for your treachery! Oh how he will pay. Your bad friend will pay, Kind Lady!” Hildr was standing between Bishop and Cicero to make sure that the jester did not try to force payment from Bishop just yet. Not that Bishop didn’t deserve to have to pay for his rudeness to a stranger in need, but right now would not be the time, and she could not be certain what the crazy jester would demand in payment.  _ With a guard here right now, it probably wouldn’t be anything too extreme. _

“I’ll take care of it, Cicero.” She said it soothingly over her shoulder, blocking the guard from getting closer to either Cicero or the wagon as well as keeping Cicero away from Bishop still. She had already seen his mood change drastically a few times now, and didn’t feel the need to see it change like that again. “Guardsman, if you will come with me? I would like to talk to you in private for a moment.” She was reaching out to take the guard’s arm and lead him away up the hill. At least as far as out of earshot would do to diffuse the situation before it got any worse.

The guard looked to Bishop first, then to Hildr as if deciding who they should obey. Eventually the guard relented and followed Hildr. “As you wish, Thane Hildr. I would be interested in what you have to say.” They trudged a short way up the hill before she stopped and turned back to the guardsman. 

They were close to the city, and back within Whiterun hold when she had stopped. “I am not sure what my companion told you to get you to follow him, but this never happened. Understood?” She pressed 10 septims into his hand, curling his fingers around the coins to make sure that he understood what she was implying, and that he would agree to it. “It would be unfortunate if we had any misunderstanding on this. I don’t think the Jarl would take kindly to his guardsman confronting someone outside of the hold. Who knows how furious the Jarl would be when he found out that the guardsman in question also threatened a poor man who was broken down on the road.”

“Yes, Thane Hildr. And thank you.” He knuckled his forehead to her, and marched the rest of the way back up the hill to the watchtower. 

_ Bishop, you idiot, that could have ended horribly if I wasn’t able to pay the guard off. And if you have the strength and energy to run for a guard you can ride by yourself as well. Ignorant petty little brat. Was he always like this and I had just never noticed, or was this some new spiteful attitude that he had now that Casavir was with us. Or was it because Casavir is interested in me? _

Hildr began walking back down the hill to where she had left both of her companions with the farmer and the jester. Casavir was doing his best to be helpful with everything that was going on, offering to hold the wagon level as Lorieus worked on it. Bishop was sulking over by the horses, and ignoring the evil looks that Cicero kept giving him as if that would make the little man go away. Karnwyr was lying close to Bishop’s boots, as if to protect Bishop from the jester.

“Oh thank you again Kind Lady. A thousand thank yous for your kindness.” Cicero cartwheeled over to her, and capered around her once he was there. “You have saved Cicero from that mean man you keep with you.” Cicero looked over his shoulder at where Bishop was petting Mist and watching the other two men. “How could Cicero thank the lady for this?” Cicero had a hopeful look on his face as he turned back to Hildr, as if waiting for her to make a request right then. 

“Well, as long as you promise not to kill him for acting like he did, that would go a long way.” Hildr said it with a laugh, intending to lighten the little jester’s mood. “I would appreciate it at least.”

“The Keeper never does such things.” The jester’s voice had gone soft and even, almost like he was a different person in that moment, and he was quoting something to her. “No contracts for The Keeper.”

“What did you say?” Hildr was obviously alarmed by the change in attitude, but the words that he had said had also concerned her.  _ The Keeper? What did that mean? It sounded like some sort of honorific title for a group. Certainly it was not the Thieves Guild. She would have recognized a title like that from the Guild. I had been pretty high ranking before I left them _ . 

“Nothing, Kind Lady.” The capitalization was clear in the way that he spoke to her. “But as you insist. Cicero will not harm the Kind Lady’s mean companion for his insolence and rudeness. No. Not Cicero.” The jester’s voice had returned to that soft and even voice again as he promised her, but before she could follow up on the sudden change in the man again, he was back to capering and clapping his hands. She swore that he was only moments away from doing more cartwheels in the street. 

Hildr shook her head as she followed the fool back to the wagon and her companions. She stopped and talked to Loreius to see how else she could help and if there was anything else she could do. After Loreius assured both her and Casavir that he was done they all hurried about to get ready to move out again. There was no way that they would make it to Solitude tonight now, so they would have to hurry to get to Morthral, or give in and either ride through the night and make it to Solitude, or else make camp along the road in the Pale. Hildr led Cicero's horse back over to the wagon and helped to re-harness the gelding, and with a few pats on the horse’s nose, it was ready to go again. Casavir readied their own horses at her request so that they would be able to move quickly. Hildr was not surprised to see him lead their three horses a little further down the road, with the reins to Kara still tied to Justice's saddle. Once Hildr made sure Cicero was on his way, continuing on towards Whiterun. Once Cicero had ridden out of earshot, she turned on the both of them.

"Cas, can you untie Kara, please? Bishop, if you are strong enough to go run for a guard, you are strong enough to ride on your own." Hildr led Mist frisk a few steps towards Justice after she had mounted, and before Bishop tried to mount behind her. 

Casavir smiled into his saddle as he untied Kara as requested. He had seen Bishop run off to get the guard while Hildr spoke to the farmer.  _ Serves the man right. If he would use sleeplessness as an excuse to ride behind her and paw at her like that, then he can certainly pay the price for finding the energy to go running for a guard. Plus he was the reason that the little jester turned hostile again. Everything was fine until Bishop decided to interfere. Well, based on what the man is and was, it is not that surprising _ . Casavir nodded in agreement with his thoughts.  _ And now I can take up my spot by her side again. My sweet lady _ . 

"As you say, my lady. Bishop." Casavir tugged the reins straight down so Kara would stay until her rider came to take her reins.  _ At least he was happy to know the mare was that well trained _ . He swung up into his own saddle and rode ahead of the others, so that Bishop could mount up away from him. He figured the other man was still stewing over the marks he had left on Hildr’s neck. _ How I would have preferred to leave her more of them, across more of her creamy skin. No. Not unless she would want that. She looked like she wanted it last night. I won’t do that again until I am sure. She is free to use me as she wishes, but I will not force anything on her. I can not.  _

The gentle touch of a small calloused hand roused him from his thoughts. "My lady?"

"Thank you, Cas. For today." She stood in her stirrups and leaned out of her saddle slightly, towards him. "And for last night." Casavir blushed as she played with her braid as if to emphasize that last point. 

“You should keep the wrap up around your head, my lady. I do not think you want your cheeks to burn.”  _ Even if it would hide your face from me, or the marks I should not have left on you _ . “As for earlier today, you are welcome.”

“And for last night, Casi?” She did as he suggested, and loosely re-wrapped the black silk scarf Bishop had given her around her head. She made sure that her braid was still over her shoulder, however.

He blushed again, and cleared his throat, wishing desperately that she would drop the topic, especially since he was not certain how far behind them Bishop was, or if the other man could hear. “My… my lady… I…” He took a deep breath to steady himself. When he looked at her again, and the sweet smile she was giving him, he changed his mind on what he was going to say. _ I do not regret what happened last night, my lady, but you deserve more from a lover than what I could give you. At least, more than what I can give you right now.  _ Her emerald eyes were like deep green pools he could have gotten lost in if he stared too long. “You are only too welcome, my lady. If you would wish for another night like it…” He could feel himself turning a darker red. _ I would be only too happy to oblige, and not stop until you ask me to stop.  _ He took another deep breath to calm his nerves and banish some of his more lustful thoughts. “You only need to ask me.”  _ So much for not giving into my lustful thoughts.  _ Casavir shook his head to banish any more lustful thoughts before they could fully materialize. 

“That sounds like an offer, Casavir. A very tempting offer if I may say so.” She ran two fingers down the inside of his thigh to his knee making my gasp and a shiver run up his spine. “So tempting that I may have to take you up on it. Maybe every night that we stay in a town, or we could have the luxury of not having to keep watch for the night. Would you agree to that, my sweet knight?” 

_ If that is the case, my lady, I hope that we never sleep under the stars again, even if I do enjoy holding you in my arms as we watch the stars together. If only you were mine, my lady. _ He had to pause for a moment so that he would not sound too eager to agree with her proposition. “I would, my lady.” He blushed, realizing what he had agreed to, and not regretting it at all. It was possible that it would even be the best arrangement for the three of them.  _ This way, Bishop would not feel so slighted or lose as much sleep. She would be Bishop’s to sleep beside when they were out under the stars and keeping watch, and when we are warm and safe for the night in a town… she will be all mine _ . He coughed, a realization dawning on him. “Would you be the one to tell Bishop, my lady. I am not sure that he would want to hear it from me.”  _ I am not sure I would survive telling your lover such a thing either. _

Hildr adjusted the section of the wrap that was around her neck, as if thinking about the fading marks that were there this morning. “No I bet he wouldn’t. Very well, I will tell him tonight. I don’t feel like talking to him right now either.” She swung her braid back over her shoulder, and giggled when it pulled the wrap back down off of her head. The playful grin she gave Casavir when the wrap fell away drew his eyes away from the marks on her neck. She wound her braid up intricately and re-wrapped her scarf to hide all of her hair this time. 

They rode on through the night until they reached Solitude. When they requested rooms at the Winking Skeever, the innkeeper was only too happy to offer them the rooms that they had stayed in the last time they were there. When Casavir declined a separate room in favor of a cot in the room Bishop and Hildr rented last time the innkeeper gave him a questioning look up obliged. 

When they got their belongings settled in their room, there was a brief discussion of who would be sleeping where, with Bishop winning the argument to sleep at her side. Casavir relinquished his right to that place by her side since Bishop had already started to get comfortable beside her and he had requested the cot after all. They all quickly settled in for the night, Casavir pulling the cot at least somewhat close to where Hildr slept with Bishop and were soon all fast asleep. 


	19. Burdens

It felt good to be back in Solitude. It reminded her of happier days, of the ball with Casavir, of not knowing what it meant to be the Dragonborn, and not being burdened with so much by people who did not even know her. I cannot waste time on those thoughts. She shook her head. She had to pay attention to what she was doing now. There was too much that was resting on her shoulders for her to lose focus now. 

Hildr spotted a Wood Elf sitting at a table by himself near the fire. Could that really be him? He sounded like more of a warrior the way that Delphine had described him.  _ Well, he does need me to do the mission. But that is only because he has too much to risk if he were to do it himself. Skyrim is not exactly friendly to anyone who is not a Nord… _ She could feel herself arguing in her head. She knew it was stupid to fight with herself over orders, but she had a hard time reconciling the images. 

Hildr motioned Casavir to a table behind her, on the other side of the hallway, and Bishop over to the bar. She wouldn’t want to draw attention to herself by having both of them sit with her while she was talking to Delphine’s contact, and even if they did watch her like hawks, this would be less conspicuous. There were only two chairs at the table Malborn was at anyway. Dragging two more over would have made a scene. 

“Our mutual friend sent me.” She sat, looking at the wood elf. That was what she was supposed to say to introduce herself, right?

“Really? You’re who she picked? I hope she knows what she is doing.” Malborn sighed. “Here’s the deal. I can smuggle some equipment into the Embassy for you. Don’t plan on bringing anything else in with you. The Thalmor take security very seriously. Give me what you can’t live without, and I’ll make sure to get it into the Embassy. The rest is up to you.”

“Hold on. I need to get a few things ready.” She motioned to Bishop to come with her. If either of her companions would have an idea of what to bring, he would. She waved her hand at Casavir to tell him to stay and he only nodded in response. 

“I will give you a few more minutes. I can’t wait here all day. It’s my neck on the line, remember.”

“I doubt very much that me removing my armor in the middle of the inn for everyone to see will keep you under cover for long.” Malborn had the good grace to only blush in response. “I’ll be right back.” 

Bishop followed her back to the room they all shared, not even trying to hide the fact that he was following her without her requesting him.

“I need your help, Bishop-”

“What is it, Princess? Need to relax?” His arms were around her, and he began to kiss her neck.  _ Blessed Arkay, is he drunk already? _

“No. I know that you were a bandit, and not just any bandit at that.” She looked up into his amber eyes, waiting to see if he would deny it. When he didn’t say anything, she continued. “What would you bring with you for a raid like this? A bow, arrows, sword, dagger, lockpicks, my armor… what else do I need?”

“Potions? If you need to heal. Unless you plan to use what Casavir has been teaching you. Maybe food? A pack if you plan to carry anything out with you.” Bishop ran his hands down to her thighs, and one hand back up to her belly. 

“Can I borrow your pack Bishop? You can transfer your things to my bag in the meantime.” 

“Sure thing, sweetness. Is there anything else of mine that I can give you right now?” He pulled her closer back against his chest. “I can think of a few things I would want to give you, sweetness.” He rubbed his hips against her, as if to show her that he was already prepared to make her happy. 

She turned in his arms, loosening his hold on her before she pulled herself flush against him. She grabbed his face and kissed him passionately in answer. She broke off the kiss and pulled off her armor. 

“Not that I am saying no, but are you sure we have enough time, darling? Don’t you have to get back downstairs to drop everything off to the elf?” Bishop had a playful smirk on his lips, and a look that said he didn’t want to take any refusal from her on this. “We could be quick, Princess. I know what it is that you like.”

Hildr was too busy to answer him at the moment, as she was digging through her pack to get what supplies she would need. She quickly made a pile of lockpicks, her dagger, the black silk wrapping and mail covered corset that Bishop had given her in Windhelm, her best arrows, and the bow and case from Casavir. A few more pieces of her armor were the last things that she added to her pile. It should all fit in Bishop’s pack. She turned to Bishop. “Does this look like everything?” 

“Everything but me to watch your back, darling. Here-” he added a few of his own arrows and lockpicks to her pile on the bed as well as his pack- “these should help as well.” He kissed her shoulder, and wrapped an arm around her, resting his hand on her thigh. His other hand ran up and down her side teasingly. “I meant what I said, if you need to relax, I can absolutely help with that. I would be happy to even.”

“I know, Bishop. I have to hurry with this, but maybe later. Or after.” She filled the pack and went back down to where Malborn waited. 

“Are you ready yet? I need to get back before I am missed. Remember, you won’t have anything except what I smuggle in for you.” Malborn still had an anxious twist to his mouth as he was talking to her.

“Yeah, this is what I will need.” She handed the bundled pack she and Bishop had made over to Malborn. “I hope that is all of it, and that there are no surprises once I am in there…” 

“Alright, I will get this stuff into the Embassy for you. I have got to go. I will find you at the party. Don’t worry.” Malborn gave her a long look from head to toe. “Your job is to get into the party without being fingered as a spy. I’ll take care of the rest.”

She collected Casavir from where he sat by himself, drinking his tea. Hildr thought that she heard Casavir choke on his tea as she ran her fingers up the side of his neck. She smiled at how easily he got flustered and blushed whenever she teased him or showed him any interest. Hildr led him by the hand back to their room, where Bishop was still waiting. “Get ready. I don’t intend to stay here much longer.”

Hildr packed her remaining belongings and stopped, leaving her bag on the bed. She brushed the soft leather weathered from so much exposure and movement in the past months. _ I got it when I started traveling with Bishop. Had it really been that long already? _ She sat on the edge of the bed as she puzzled it out, secretly trying to decide if there was a way that she could go without having to do this. She sighed as she realized that she was only prolonging what she needed to do. There is nothing to be done about it now. This was the only option that she had left. Rising from her spot on the bed, she moved to the center of the room. 

“Give me your dagger, Bishop.” She was kneeling in the middle of the floor of their room in the Winking Skeever. The same room she and Bishop had rented so long ago when they were first there to find the horn in Ustengrav. So long ago it almost felt like another life. She turned to where he was sitting behind her. 

“Your dagger, Bishop.” She repeated it over her shoulder in a firmer tone. She was not going to suffer any back talk from him. Not now, not for this. The decision was hard enough to make, suffering backtalk would make it worse.

He approached her carefully, still holding on to the blade as he offered it to her. “Why, sweetness?” 

“I need it. I gave mine to Malborn to smuggle into the embassy.” She looked straight ahead at the door in front of her as she stretched out her hand to him.  _ I need to do this. There is no other way. _ Bishop was standing at her side in the middle of the room. “Trust me.” 

Bishop and Casavir shared a worried look over her head before they both looked back at her. They had both figured that being this mythical hero for all of Nirn was weighing on her, but she surely would not resort to this. Bishop held the hilt of his dagger just above her palm, unsure if he should hand it over to her.

Casavir crossed the small room to crouch in front of her. “My lady, please. There is no need to...” 

“There is every need, Cas.” She reached out her other hand to him, coaxing him onto his knees in front of her. He crouched on one knee before her as she rubbed his cheek, watching his eyes close for a moment as he enjoyed her touch. “Do you still trust me as you once did, Casi?” Her fingers wrapped around the dagger’s hilt, as she gingerly took it from Bishop. 

“I have never stopped trusting you, my lady.” His voice was still even, almost matter of fact.  _ And I never will. But please do not go where I cannot follow. Please my lady, I love you.  _ He was looking deep into her kind green eyes again, as if he would be able to pray hard enough she would hear him. 

“Good.” She held the dagger close to her neck now, and closed her eyes. There would be no going back. She heard a gentle thud of Casavir’s other knee fall and he was now on his knees in front of her. She thought she felt his fingers on hand that held the dagger. She drew one last deep breath.  _ I need to do this _ . 

With one fluid motion she jerked the dagger away from her, cutting her beautiful long red tresses above her shoulder. She gathered her hair over her right shoulder and quickly did the same on that side as well. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she cut her hair. _ I needed to do this. _ There was no other way to make sure that she would not be found out when she was trying to sneak into the embassy. The Thalmor guards would know to expect the Dragonborn, a muscular woman with red hair to her waist. They would not be expecting a woman with short hair that she could probably dye another color. Her disguise would work, she was just not ready for the toll it would take on her to cut her beautiful hair. 

She felt soft thumbs rub her cheeks as the dagger was gently taken out of her hand and dropped on the floor with a dull clatter. Casavir had cupped her face in his hands and was trying to calm her. “You are so brave, my lady. I would not have the strength or courage to do what you have just done.” Casavir’s voice was even and sincere to show that he meant every word he said to her, here kneeling on the floor with her and drying her tears. 

She felt her hair gathered back and heard more cutting. Bishop was endeavoring to make sure that it was all close to the same length, even if it was all cropped much closer to her skull now. The shortened tresses flowed around her head as she sobbed. Bishop sheathed his dagger, and tried his best to kick the cut hair into a pile away from where she was kneeling on the floor. He failed in his attempt and left, either uncomfortable with seeing such a display of emotions from Hildr or what he had just stood by and watched while she cried and Casavir did his best to calm her and dry her tears. 

Casavir gathered her into his arms the moment the door closed behind Bishop. He wanted nothing more than to kiss those tears from her cheeks, but letting her cry into the shirt she had embroidered for him as he ran his fingers through her shortened locks would have to do for now. “My lady, you are still beautiful to me.” He murmured into her ear, and kissed her hair.  _ And you always will be _ . He ran a hand through her shortened hair again. “You would still be perfect without a single hair on your head.” He kissed her forehead as if to punctuate that thought.  _ A joke now would help her mood, right? _ “Although, even without hair, your head would still be red from the sun.”

She giggled weakly from where she was held in his arms. It may have been a bad joke, but he had tried all the same. She pushed back from him, scrubbing at her eyes with the palm of her hand. “Do you… do you think you could help me color it as well? I would think hair as dark as yours would be enough to throw the guards off my scent.”

He grinned at the idea that she would want to compare any part of her beautiful self to him. “Of course, my lady. I am sure that we can come up with something.” He picked her up in his arms and carried her over to the bed, sitting her on his lap. He rubbed her side and pressed his cheek against her forehead until her tears fully stopped. He never moved his hands from her side or her knees. 

As if on cue, once her tears stopped Bishop returned with a tea for each of them, as well as something stronger for himself. Bishop left Casavir’s drink on the table in the room, since Casavir would not take his hands off Hildr. Bishop sat on the bed beside Casavir, and rubbed her back. At least her upper back. Bishop did not want to touch Casavir, not even to comfort his Princess. Under any other circumstances, Casavir would have been happy to fight Bishop away from Hildr so that he could keep her to himself, but right now, in her current state, she would need the both of them. 

She reached a hesitant hand up to her much shorter hair. She took a deep breath before she ran her fingers through what was left. There was no way that Bishop would be able to braid it for some time now. _ I guess it will have to be bridal wreaths in my hair for now. Maybe my Casi will pick me enough flowers for a pair and we can both… no. Even if he doesn’t know what it means, I wouldn't do that. At least not until he decides about his vows. It would be too much to hope for that. And to have him choose his vows after having seen him decked as a groom would be too much for my heart. Seeing him decked as my groom. _

“What can we use to dye it?” She gave a heartless laugh, holding the length of her hair out from her face. “Not that it will take that much right now.”

“Perhaps charcoal, my lady? If you were still considering black hair, that is.” Bishop had shot him a disgusted look.  _ He hadn’t been there to hear that she had suggested hair like mine _ . “I would not know how to make it golden blonde, if you would rather. Tea may turn it brown, like Bishop’s hair.” Bishop’s look did not soften, but just that his hair color would be considered seemed to have helped. 

“Black hair.” She reached up and ran her fingers through Casavir’s raven black hair. He tried not to melt under her touch, even if he did draw a deep shuddering breath. “Like yours.” 

“Go take a bath, ladyship, and we can dye your hair when you get back. Besides, if you are going to be hanging out with all those fancy nobles, you are going to want to smell better.” He leaned forward and kissed her shoulder with that. “Casavir and I can get everything for the dye while you bathe, and we will be right back. Or I can stay and scrub your back while Casavir gets everything.” He purred the suggestion in her ear as he tried to gently pull her out of Casavir’s arms. Hildr leaned against Casavir to try and stop Bishop, but he didn’t seem to notice. 

“Casi, do you know what all you would need to get?” Her voice was gentle, still sounding thick from her tears even as she sipped her tea. 

“Yeah, Casi, do you know what all you need to get?” Bishop’s voice was mocking, more than it usually was. 

“Don’t call me that, Bishop!” He would have jumped up and struck the man if not for his lady on his lap and in his arms.  _ When had I first developed such a temper? This wasn’t like me. Maybe Bishop is rubbing off on me after all. _ Hildr gripped his arm, and leaned heavily back into his chest. He ran a hand up her thigh before he could stop himself, and clutched her closer to him.  _ Her touch always calms me _ . He let out a deep breath, and inhaled her rose scent, tinged with the smell of anxious sweat, and tears. 

“Yes, my lady. I know what I would need to get for a dye for you.” He rubbed his thumb on her thigh.  _ Why am I so nervous? She has shown that she trusts me completely, and is willing to protect me from Bishop as well as she is able _ .

“Could you make a list for Bishop? I think even he should be able to manage with a list.” Her voice was determined and defiant, even if it was not as strong and self assured as usual. “And… could you clean up that?” Her voice was much weaker as she motioned to the hair she had cut still scattered about the floor. 

Casavir smirked at Bishop. “Yes, my lady.” He blushed realizing that he was still holding her tightly to him, and Bishop was not about to accommodate him with paper and ink. Casavir cleared his throat as he released his hold on her. In an effort to appease Bishop, he silently offered to hand her off to him if she wanted Bishop’s touch instead. Bishop usually wanted to hold her whenever he was able, but she did not seem to respond to the idea at all. Casavir sat Hildr on the bed where he had just been. If Bishop was going to hold her on his lap as well, he would have to pick her up himself. 

He quickly wrote the list of what all would be needed before turning back to the two of them. A tightness around the eyes betrayed Bishop’s feelings, but he still had both arms around Hildr and was holding her as close as he was able without pulling her onto his lap, his cheek in her short hair. While such open acts of affection from Bishop usually made him uncomfortable, this one didn’t.  _ I feel bad for him _ . Bishop had always enjoyed braiding her hair whenever she had asked him, and when she had episodes after killing a dragon. He may have even felt it was a tether to her in some way, something that he could do for her to show her… to show her he loved her. Casavir swallowed a lump in his throat.  _ Bishop should have this time with her. He needs it more than I do right now. I should go pray and leave a message for my Order as well.  _

“Bishop, I can go get these supplies if you would rather wait here with her. It is no problem at all, my lady.” He took her hand from where it rested on her knee and kissed her palm, followed by the back of her hand. “I will be back soon.” He squeezed her hand before setting it back on her lap.

After Casavir left, Bishop kissed her. “Come on, Princess, time for your bath.” His lips whispered the words against hers. He scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bath. Any other time she would have objected to him carrying her like that for so far in public, but it felt good. She was still upset about what she had just done, but Bishop would take good care of her, if even for his own selfish reasons. 

“Thank you, Bishop.” She blushed. “For everything. It means a lot to me. That you would do all of this for me. To take care of me. To stay by my side no matter what.” She cleared her throat, trying to stop the tears as she undressed and got into the warm bath water.

“It is my pleasure, Princess.” He stripped off his clothing and joined her in the large tub. “What, didn’t think I would pass up on an opportunity to be alone and naked with you, did you darling?” He folded his legs underneath him and motioned for her to come closer so that he could help her wash. It always startled her to see the sheer number of scars that covered his body, but she climbed into the tub with him anyway.

His touch was surprisingly gentle, even when it was deliberate and probing. She could feel the calluses on his hands from his bow, and the ridges from the scars that crossed his chest. There were also no few number of kisses interspersed in his touch. She was not sure if his hands or his lips did more to clean her neck and shoulders, but if this was some sort of way for him to accept her newly shortened hair, she would accept it. He slid to one side behind her. “Alright, now for your hair.” 

She leaned back and dunked completely under the tepid water. She felt Bishop’s hands ruffling her hair to make sure that all of the cut pieces were knocked free. He lathered up his hands with soap and then ran his hands through her short hair to make sure that it was completely scrubbed clean. His touch made her relax further into him. He had to kiss her shoulder to get her to notice that he was done and she needed to rinse her hair out. That step took a few times to get all of the soap out. 

As he washed her hair, Bishop told her that he had two younger sisters growing up, and he had helped with their hair more than once, when no one else would. It was where he had learned to braid he had told her before, and Hildr felt a strong paternal pull from the man.  _ He would make an excellent father one day. Would he even want to be one? _ She blushed and looked away from Bishop. _ He had never been interested in having a family, he had told her that many times, and she was sure that he would not change his mind on that. I doubt that I would even be able to change his mind very much on the topic even if I told him we should run away tonight and start a little family of our own _ . 

She felt his arms snake around her and pull her against him in the tub. “What’s wrong, sweetness? Something on your mind?” His hands explored every inch of her they could reach, but they never lingered for long. 

“Family.” Hildr sighed the word and relaxed into his arms. He stiffened a little, but he didn’t shy away from the topic. 

“What about family, Princess?” He rested his chin on her shoulder as she leaned back into him. He could feel his heart hammering away in his chest.  _ Please say that you would want a family. A family with me. I would give up everything, even live in a city like Solitude with you. As many children as you would want.  _ He cleared his throat. “Would you want a family?”

“Maybe.” She ran her hand down his thigh. “It would depend on if I found the right man.” She squeezed the underside of his knee. “I wonder where I could find one of those. Or if he would want a family with me when I found him.” 

"He would be a fool not to want a family with you.” Bishop ran a hand down her belly, but didn’t run it between her legs. “He would be a fool to not give you everything you could want, or to give up everything for you.” _ I would. I would be a fool not to give up everything for you _ . 

She sighed as she got out of the tub, and he only felt empty without her against him. Bishop leaned up against the side of the tub and watched her. She may not be considered so by everyone, but to him, she was perfect. She was tall for a woman, not much shorter than he was. She was mostly muscle, and had only a touch of fat on her to give her just the barest of curves. I have seen what she is capable of, and that is what also makes her beautiful. She could hold her own in a battle using a sword, or stalk prey through the brush with a bow. She could run for what felt like a day and a night if she needed to, and she had to body to prove she could do all that and more.  _ She is perfect. I am so lucky that she is mine _ . Her short hair was still startling, but it framed her oval face and delicate features perfectly.  _ How long will it take for it to be long enough for me to braid again? I hope it does not take that long. I will miss braiding it for her. I will miss the extra excuse to hold her close _ . 

“Are you ready to head back upstairs already, ladyship? Do you think we will have the room to ourselves for a little bit before the Pala- Casavir is back?” He saw the look that she shot him when he started to say the paladin, and remembered her walking away from him in Windhelm. He never wanted to see that again.  _ She is mine _ . 

“Yeah, let’s go.” She had toweled off and dressed when he wasn’t looking. Bishop wouldn’t go back to the room immediately. He didn’t want to see her beautiful red hair turn pitch black like Casavir’s hair.  _ She didn’t even consider brown hair like mine, and that stung more than that bruise from her _ . 

Casavir had come back to the room, and mixed up a thick, acrid, black paste of charcoal for her hair. It was easy enough for Casavir to coat her hair with, and it did a good job of turning her hair black even if it did almost overpower the smell of her soap. Casavir worked diligently, and quickly had dyed her hair completely to a rich dark black color. 

“Thank you, Casi. I really appreciate it, and I am glad you knew what to do. Do I look good?” She blushed and looked away, knowing what it must sound like. “I mean…does my hair look good?” 

“Yes, my lady. It suits you. Not as well as the red, but still appropriate.” He gently pulled her face around to look at him, using just his thumb and forefinger. “I will always find you beautiful, my lady. Always.” His words were steady and confident. His lips were almost brushing against hers as he spoke, and she felt her knees go weak. “My lady…” His lips were still close enough that she could feel the words on his lips more than hear them. 

Bishop returned before Casavir could finish whatever he was going to say. “I wasn’t interrupting anything, was I?” He crossed his arms and was giving them both a hateful look. Hildr quickly backed away from Casavir when she realized what Bishop had probably just seen. Casavir had been jealous when she kissed Bishop after they left the ball the last time they were in Solitude, even if he did deny it, and there was no reason that Bishop wouldn’t be jealous of Casavir now. 

“No.” Casavir would have spat the word at Bishop if his lady were not there, and he was not about to jump away from Hildr after having Bishop walk in and disturb them like that.  _ How dare Bishop interrupt us and act like it was more than what liberties he had taken in the bath with her _ . 

“Is it time to go?” She sounded timid and shy, something Casavir had never heard from her before. She refused to look at either of them, and slowly blushed a deeper and deeper crimson red.

“Unless you are busy, ladyship. Wouldn’t want to interrupt anything you were doing to save all of Nirn would we?” Neither Bishop’s tone, nor his position changed. He was still just as angry as if he had caught them in a more passionate embrace.

Hildr blushed even darker if it was possible, but knew what Bishop meant by his attitude. He wanted this for himself, and he would not share her, not with anyone, unless he was forced to do so, and even then he would fight against it. 

~~~~~

Hildr met Delphine at the stables outside of Solitude. Hildr was certain that the other woman did not recognize her at first, and may not have if she were not flanked by her two companions. For anyone who knew who to expect, her two companions marked her as well as any sign might. Hildr knew that she would be on her own while she was in the embassy, but knowing that her two protectors, her two companions were nearby helped to put her mind at ease. 

"Have you given Malborn the gear you want to smuggle into the embassy?" Delphine sounded more annoyed that she had to wait outside at the stables than anything else. 

“Yes, I just hope that it was enough, and everything that I am going to need.” Hildr watched Bishop out of the corner of her eye, but he made no sign that she was anything less than prepared for this. 

"Good. I have your invitation to the party. But the only way you're going to get past the guards is if they really believe you're an invited guest. Which means you need to look the part, and not be armed to the teeth. Here, put this on."  She was surprised when Delphine handed her a change of clothes out in the stables.  "When you're ready, meet me at the carriage. We'll keep the rest of your gear safe there until you get back. You'll only have what Malborn smuggled in for you, plus whatever you can pick up inside." 

Hildr looked down at the clothing that Delphine had thrust into her hands. It was a fancy coat, hat, and fine shoes. _ I am glad that I kept my shirt and trousers on instead of changing into a dress _ . Hildr looked back at Delphine equal parts wary and defiant.

“They won’t let you into the embassy unless you have on the proper clothes.” Delphine made it sound like Hildr should have expected something like that. “And since I doubt either of these two will wait here for you to get back, I brought these for them as well.” Delphine handed each of the men long black hooded cloaks. “Neither of you can go with her, but you can wait with me in the carriage for her to come back out.” Hildr looked around to see if there really was a carriage, but to her chagrin there was only a wagon.  _ Delphine has a rather sick sense of humor if she would call that a carriage. _ Mist and Kara were harnessed to the cart already, and Justice was saddled and tied to the wagon as well. 

Hildr motioned to the both of them to hold their cloaks up to screen her while she changed in the horse stall behind them. Hildr’s clothes and pack were stored in the front of the wagon bed, and her companions both sat with her. If they were going to be coming along, they were going to act like they belonged with her. And they would have to wait with Delphine and the cart near Dragon’s Bridge. 

“Don’t worry, it will all be waiting for you in Dragon’s Bridge when you get out. Just make sure you get back out of there alive with the information we need. Good luck." Delphine jumped back out of the wagon bed after storing Hildr’s gear. Delphine didn’t ride the wagon with the rest of them, and instead walked behind them before she was hidden from view. 

In short order they were ready and at the embassy. Hildr was ready to jump out of the wagon, but before she could, Casavir was on the ground, holding out his arms to gently place her down beside him. He gave her a firm embrace and a quick kiss on her forehead before letting her go. 

“Be safe, my lady. And come back to me.” He murmured to her back as he got back into the wagon and she walked away. 


	20. Dragonbridge

The waiting in Dragon’s Bridge was the worst part of the whole ordeal. As hard as it had been to watch her kneel on the floor and cut her beautiful hair while she cried, this was worse. She would be able to hold her own in combat, he had seen her do it before, more than once. But she was charging into the viper’s nest to get information that may or may not be there.  _ Foolish woman. Risking her neck for people who wouldn’t even notice if anything happened to her _ . _ I should have insisted that we run away together before any of this had happened. I could have taken care of the both of us. _ Bishop looked back up the path again.  _ How long had it been now? _

Bishop jumped down from the cart. Sitting there was making him anxious, and the fact that he was sitting with Casavir was making it much worse, even if they were pointedly ignoring each other. _ Stupid puffed up Paladin _ . This knight had joined their little band and made a claim on Hildr just as sure as Bishop had when he bedded her.  _ She was mine. No, she is mine. Even if he does kiss her, she is mine. _

“Bishop? Where are you going? You know we can’t go after her.” Casavir was kicking his heels against the edge of the bench back of the wagon, looking up towards Solitude. Seated sideways like that on the bench with his feet dangling off the back of the wagon, he almost looked like a child. Casavir patted Justice’s nose when his stallion nuzzled him. The horse whickered from where it was tied to the side of the wagon.

“I can’t just sit here and wait anymore. She is going to be coming this way. We can meet her on the road.” He stopped after a few steps and looked back over his shoulder. “Besides, aren’t you worried about her?”

The clattering of heavy armor behind him proved that he had struck a nerve. Casavir was beside him in just a few strides. “In battle, no.” Casavir heaved a sigh. “She is capable enough to defend herself, but surrounded like she is in this?” 

They let the comment settle between the two of them. Neither of them had approved of the idea of sending her into the Thalmor embassy, but they both saw the need for it. Hildr had made sure they had. Pulling his cloak up over his head, Bishop picked up his pace as we went up the hill towards Solitude. The clanging mess that was the Paladin didn’t sound like he was moving quickly enough to catch up to Bishop’s new pace. 

That was when Bishop saw the two figures. He froze, not realizing who it was approaching him down the hill. 

“My lady,” Casavir gasped as he ran past Bishop towards the two figures. Bishop ran as well then. _ I will not let that steel bucket get to her first _ . Bishop was skidding to a stop, arms around Hildr.  _ She is safe _ . 

“Princess…” He sighed his pet name for her into her hair. Her short dark hair now. He would have kissed her and taken her right there, but there was a chance they were still in danger. The plans did not have an additional escapee in them.  _ Figures that she would have found an abandoned person and brought them with her _ . She was too good for anyone, especially him. He still found himself cursing at himself bitterly for not treating her better when they had first traveled together.  _ Maybe then this Paladin wouldn’t be with us. If Casavir’s presence made her happy, I will bear with him. At least for now _ . 

She was pulling him back down the hill, insistent that they keep moving. The other man that she brought with her was leaning up against Casavir for support now, and wearing Casavir’s cloak instead of just ragged tatters of pants and foot wraps. 

Hildr vaulted into the back of the wagon, for a miracle not stumbling this time. Bishop was right behind her, only just missing crashing into her, as they both reached down to the other man, pulling him into the back of the wagon. Hildr immediately got to tending this stranger, casting what healing spells Casavir had taught her as she had him lay down on the one bench across the back of the wagon. 

Casavir jumped into the driver’s bench at the front, next to Delphine, grabbing the reins from her half asleep woman. He whipped the horses with the reins to get them moving. The cart was rattling out across the bridge and into the countryside before anyone was able to relax. 

Delphine was the first to speak when she was sure they were far enough away to not be overheard, and that there were no Thalmor following them either. “What information did you find?” Her voice was stiff and formal, all business even now. 

“These were all I could find. I checked everywhere in the embassy.” She handed Delphine three slim leather folders of papers that she had hidden in her fancy coat. “I don’t think that the Thalmor have any better idea about what is going on with the dragons coming back.” Delphine only grunted when she looked at the folders that she had been handed. It was too dark to read them now, and she wouldn’t risk it while they were moving, but she would be certain to read them the very instant that she had enough light. 

“And where is Malborn?” She almost spat the question back over her shoulder. For an asset that she had in the embassy, one would have thought that she would sound more concerned about his location and condition. 

“He… He fell. I thought we were free, all three of us.” She swallowed hard. Her gaze lingered on the other man resting on the bench across the wagon bed from her. “But he fell over an icy ledge on the way out, and he was attacked by the frost troll that was waiting for us there. Etienne and I barely made it out alive even after all that.” She sounded close to breaking.

Bishop saw that there were tears in her eyes, and pulled her close. He would endeavor to be a shoulder for her to cry on, no matter how out of character it was for him. _ Casavir would not be the only one that she goes to for comfort. Not anymore _ . He rubbed her back, careful not to run his fingers through her shortened hair stained black with charcoal.  _ I don’t want to cover her in lines and handprints of charcoal. Nobody else needs to know what we are up to back here. _

She gave his knee an appreciative squeeze, before rummaging through her satchel. “This is for you, Bishop. I figured that you would appreciate it.” She held out a small bottle to him. The label read simply Colovian Brandy. 

“Oh, sweetness. I am going to make sure you know  **exactly** how much I appreciate this.” He said it to her, but loud enough that Casavir had to have heard them.  _ That should force the Paladin away from her for a little bit. _ He trailed his rough fingers over her cold soft cheek before kissing her appreciatively. _ I will show you right now if you will let me.  _

“Leave me in Whiterun, and carry on to Riften.” Delphine, talking over her shoulder to them in the back of the wagon, interrupting Bishop’s advances. She was still stiff and formal, even though they should all be celebrating that Hildr had made it back out of the viper’s lair in one piece and with the information that Delphine had told her to find. 

“Riften? Why do you want us to go to the city of the Thieves' Guild?” Bishop was annoyed that they would have to cross all of Skyrim, again, for this member of the Blades.  _ Didn’t she care how much this was weighing on Hildr? _ Not that it was any easier on him. He hadn’t minded staying on the move with his woman, but there was a huge difference between covering the countryside as they wished before she was discovered as the Dragonborn, and this. _ This was starting to get ridiculous.  _

Delphine muttered under her breath, barely loud enough for anyone to hear over the sound of the wagon wheels. “Esbern, our old archivist. If he is anywhere, he is hiding there in Riften.” Delphine turned and looked back at Bishop. “And don’t question me, Ranger. It is not your place.” 

Hildr groaned, leaning her head back so that what was left of her hair dangled over the bench and out of the wagon. “Of course we need to go to Riften. Fine. May as well get it over with then.” She curled up and cuddled with Bishop as much as she could while on the bench of the wagon. She threw her legs over his, and he wrapped her in the cloak he had been wearing. He soon thought better of it, pulling her onto his lap and holding her close, shrouding her completely from prying eyes. 

With a devious grin, Bishop tugged at the ties on her fancy party clothes that she had worn to the embassy. “If you can be quiet, maybe I can show you how grateful I am for your present right now.” He purred the suggestion into her ear as he freed the laces of the coat. He pulled her fine silk shirt free of her trousers, and quickly ran a hand up to her breast. He felt her nipple harden under his calloused thumb. “Would you like that, sweetness?” 

She nodded, already willingly agreeing to his request for her to be quiet.

He moaned, happy that she was so eager for him to please her. “Good girl. You should get an extra reward.” He whispered the suggestion into her ear before biting her earlobe gently. He pulled at the ties on her trousers, loosening them enough to slip his hand in as well, and playfully ran his fingers through the coarse red hair that started below her navel and led further down. “But what reward should you get?” She moaned, apparently unable to hide her excitement.

He chuckled quietly at her. Her reactions were better than he could have ever hoped. "I want to look into your eyes, sweetness. Will you face me?" He moved to tuck her hair behind her ear before he remembered the black dye that still coated her short locks and stopped. He stroked her cheek instead.

She turned to straddle his lap, looking directly into his golden eyes in the dark, her forehead and nose against his. He would have called her look predatory if he could have seen it.  _ Gods she is perfect _ . He kissed her lips as he finished undoing the laces on her trousers. He ran the back of a bent finger down the coarse red hair from her belly and between her now spread legs. He extended his finger as he reached her damp curls, and stroked her pussy. She was already wet and willing for him, and he had to use a delicate touch to not get ahead of himself.

He kissed her as she moaned again. "Your moans are mine, ladyship." _ Everything about you is mine _ .

He was running his finger across her lips teasingly. _ I need to make sure that she enjoys this as much as possible _ . Absently he noticed that Delphine was chatting away with Casavir, to keep his mind off of what was happening in the cart behind them. Bishop pushed gently against her lips, just hard enough to get the pad of his finger inside her. She gasped and shivered at his touch. He nipped her bottom lip as she gasped. “You have to be quiet, sweetness. We don’t need anyone getting jealous, do we?” He crooked his finger inside her and was happy to see her bite her lip and tilt her head back to stop from crying out in pleasure. He pressed a second finger inside her before swirling them around and flexing the both of them. She squirmed in pleasure under his touch.

Bishop put his other hand on her lower back, and pulled her closer to his chest.  _ I don’t want her to try and squirm away from me. This is all for her, I want to make sure she enjoys all of it. _ His fingers were making a slow and complete exploration of all that he could reach in her. _ I have to be slow and careful. I want her to be as happy as she makes me. She deserves that. She deserves that and so much more for how good she is to me.  _ He could feel himself twitch in his trousers, and wished that he could do more for her right now, but this wagon would be no place to show her how much she meant to him.

A sudden jostling of the cart threw Bishop off his careful practiced rhythm of making Hildr happy.  _ That damn Paladin. What does he want now?  _ Casavir was yelling back at the two of them. “I could use some help up here. We have bandits.” Bishop heard a clatter as the Paladin jumped to the ground and ran into battle. Abruptly Hildr was out of his grasp as well, grabbing her sword and running after her knight. 

_ Damn it. Damn it all to Oblivion _ . 

Hildr was lacing up her trousers as she ran, joining the battle. Her shirt was still partially unlaced and showing more than a fair amount of the skin of her chest. _ The Paladin may faint if he saw her fighting like that. _ Bishop smiled as he started to feather the bandits.  _ What a sight that would be, the prudish Paladin fainting like a maiden at the sight of blood for having seen her with her shirt partially unlaced, and favoring everyone with a more than fair amount of creamy white skin _ . 

HIldr was fighting like a force of nature, blades swirling. She had not thought to grab her bow, and instead had run into the heat of battle with her precious white knight. It grated on Bishop that she would not stay in the cart with him to only clear a path through these bandits and keep on their way, but that she had to go rushing in after the Paladin.  _ And now here I am running after her _ . He sighed as he jumped out of the cart and followed the other two up into the camp in front of him. He had taken care of all the bandits he had seen, and the way Delphine had fought when they took down the dragon, she would be able to protect herself and the other escapee from a bandit or two. 

Hildr had her hand and a half sword in one hand, dagger in the other, letting Casavir lead the two of them deeper into the camp. Bishop had to fight to resist the urge to shoot Casavir, and aim only for the bandits that came too close to her.  _ Casavir is my enemy all the same, no matter what Princess thinks. She is mine to protect, even if she can protect herself. I just need to protect her from him. _ He followed them as they fought their way through the camp, and towards a small shack at the far end.

A glint of black streaking through the torch-lit room ahead of him shocked his thoughts back on to where they were. Hildr had thrown her dagger into the other room and caught the bandit chief in the neck with the ebony blade, saving Bishop. He had not even realized that there was a man taking aim at his heart from the window he was standing in until Hildr’s dagger took him in the neck.  _ Well, at least she still wants to keep me around. At least enough to keep me alive.  _

Bishop stalked into the small shack where Hildr and Casavir were. With a nod of dismissal, Hildr sent Casavir back to the cart to check on the others. Bishop would have suggested that they make use of the small bed up here, but with everyone waiting, thought better of it.  _ She deserves somewhere more comfortable anyway, not that the back of the cart had been entirely ideal _ . Besides, there were bodies and chests to loot here, and with the Paladin heading back to the cart, they should move quickly to get her back to safety, and apparently off to Riften as Delphine had essentially commanded them. Bishop sighed as he followed her in checking for valuables in the tiny shack.

Casavir went back to the cart and made sure that Etienne and Delphine were both okay. He had rushed off to protect all of them in the cart without a second thought as soon as he realized that they would soon be under attack. It had been almost too long since he had seen a good fight, aside from fighting the dragons, and on some level he was upset with himself for having run into the fray before thinking about any of his companions.  _ Well, that wasn’t entirely true. I had been thinking about at least one of my companions. _ Delphine had tried to distract him, but he still knew what was going on behind him in the cart. He should have been outraged that Bishop would have the audacity to behave like that with Hildr at such a time and place. If anything though, he was upset that he was not the one making her that happy.  _ Maybe it was for the best? _ When he was out purchasing the things to dye her hair, he had stopped by the temple and prayed, but the gods did not answer him.  _ Maybe if I found their shrines, and prayed to them each in turn? Would they answer me and my prayers then?  _ Casavir rolled his shoulders.  _ It is at least worth a shot _ . 

Casavir talked to his new companion still at the cart before walking ahead to the bridge. Etienne was happily wrapped in furs and spare clothing, getting ready to fall asleep in the back of the cart. He gave the hooded black cloak back to Casavir, in case he would need it tonight. Casavir, in return, cast a few more healing spells on the former prisoner. After Etienne fell asleep in the pile of furs, Casavir moved on to rubbing his stallion’s neck and then talking to Delphine to make sure that she was okay. She only required a little healing and was not in a very conversational mood any longer. She had nervously chattered about nothing the whole time they were waiting at Dragon’s bridge, and it was a miracle that she finally tired herself out enough that he and Bishop could enjoy some silence before Hildr returned. 

Casavir wrapped himself in the cloak as he walked to the bridge to wait for Bishop and Hildr to return from looting. They would need to pass by this way to leave, and he could always join them in the wagon then. Casavir stumbled as he was walking and picked up the bow at his feet.  _ It would not really be looting after the battle if there was not a body there to take it from was it? Besides, it will be helpful if we are attacked again. I can stay closer to Hildr, and will not need to have her running after me as if she were the only one who could protect me.  _ He leaned up against the side of the bridge and looked out over the river, back the way they had come. Absentmindedly, he plucked at the bowstring, and fitted an arrow testing the draw length and weight to make sure that it would fit him. 

Hildr was fumbling with a trapdoor in the floor on the other side of the short wall. Apparently it was locked if her cursing and the sound of breaking lockpicks was any indication. The cold and exhaustion must be getting to her. Before he realized it, she was climbing down before calling for Bishop to follow her. “There is more down here, Bishop, and I think there is more loot under the water.” Bishop had jumped down after her, and landed heavily, almost landing face first. He hopped back up onto his feet, hoping that she didn’t see him fall like that.  _ Her seeing me fall only once face first in the dirt is still one time too many. _ “Take what you can, Bishop. I am going for a swim.” She stripped off her fancy coat and tossed it at him before taking a running start and jumping into the water in the small cavern before swimming out into the river. 

Hildr swam out of the small cavern into the bend in the river. Climbing to the bank she stripped bare before swimming back out into the water. She was content that she got the blood of the bandits off of her, and was enjoying the cold water. She dipped under the water and attempted to scrub her hair as well as she could by herself. She did not much care if she no longer smelled like her rose soap, being clean of blood, gore, and hair dye would be worth it. _ I will miss having beautiful black hair like Casavir. Maybe he will dye it again for me _ . She surfaced, gasping for air and letting off a shower of water from her shortened hair as she shook it. Hildr was content to simply swim for a bit in the darkness, enjoying the cool water and the cold night air. As she was enjoying her night swim, she noticed a figure standing on the bridge.  _ Oh no, not another bandit. If I swim up, maybe I can startle him, and then drown him if he falls in the water.  _ Only once she got closer did she notice the gleam of Casavir’s steel plate armor. Relieved that she would be safe to swim for a bit, she closed her eyes and started to swim away with a splash. It was then that she heard a piercing splash not that far away from her.  _ At some point Cas must have found a bow. I am not sure I blame him for firing at me. He is probably still on edge from the fight. At least Cas had the good sense to fire wide of me instead of trying to hit me _ . 

“Mara’s Mercy! Casavir! What in Oblivion do you think you are doing!?” Hildr’s melodious voice floated up to where he stood on the bridge. Somehow she still sounded beautiful when she was angry. He heard splashing after the question.  _ At least she is still in the water and still okay. _

“My lady!” He ran from his spot on the bridge to the water’s edge frantically searching for her. “My lady? Where are you? Are you okay?” His blood ran cold.  _ I don’t see her in the water. I hadn’t hurt her as Bishop had. I couldn’t have. She has to still be okay.  _

“Look down at where you are standing, Casi.” Her voice sounded like it was coming from the shallows under the bridge. He looked down obediently and understood why she was sticking to the shadow of the bridge and not coming out so that he could make sure that she was okay. Every single stitch of her clothing was lying in a heap at his feet, and they were all soaking wet as far as he could tell. 

“I am sorry, my lady. Are you cold? Would you like my cloak?”  _ That has to be worth something to make up for my mistake in shooting at her, right? I should at least make sure that she is warm.  _

“Will you close your eyes and hold it out for me? If you will throw it around my shoulders, I would be happy to have it.” He smiled sadly to himself. _ She is still considerate of my vows, since I have not had the chance to tell her that I think I would rather have her. I just need to pray to make sure that it is the right choice for the both of us.  _

“Yes, my lady.” He had already swung the cloak off his shoulders, and held it out to her as she was speaking to him. In the instant before he closed his eyes, he thought he saw her milky white form quickly moving towards him in the darkness.  _ Blessed Dibella, forgive me for not being able to enjoy the beautiful sight of her right now, but nothing can come of it. Not yet, not with Bishop still nearby. Not until I know for sure _ … He felt her hands on his as she pulled the cloak around herself. 

“Would you be able to carry me, Casavir? I fear it is going to be hard for me to walk back to the wagon in just this. Every other stitch I was wearing is wet, and I don’t believe you would be able to help me find anything dry enough to try and put back on right now.”

“Of course my lady. But why not wring out what you can from your clothing so that you can have something else on for right now.”  _ Knowing your current condition, it may prove too much for me to hold you in my arms in just that cloak _ . “Please.” 

“Or you could go get me clothing from my pack to change into. It would save us a trip. And yes, I will be safe here until you return.” Her hand was surprisingly warm on his cheek in the cold night. 

“Of course my lady.” Without a second thought he was hurrying back to the cart to get the clothing as she had requested. 

Casavir searched through her pack in the cart, and quickly found the shirt she had discarded for the party clothes as well as another pair of leather trousers. If there was no sense of urgency in getting a change of clothing for her, he would have searched for a dress and small clothes.  _ She is so beautiful in a dress, even if she does prefer to wear armor. Even if the armor suits her better _ . She was waiting by the water’s edge when he returned, wringing water from the party clothes as he had suggested. 

“Will you help me change? Not… not like that. But will you hold everything for me?” Hildr had the cloak pulled tight around herself. If it was to keep herself warm or for modesty’s sake, he could not say.  Casavir obediently held out her shirt and trousers for her, fighting with himself to keep his eyes shut when he felt her take each item from him. Suddenly he felt pressure against his arm, and opened his eyes to see her standing directly in front of him, the cloak still pulled tight around herself. "Will you… will you still carry me?" 

“Gladly, my lady.”  _ I mean it too. I will be only too happy to hold you in my arms any time you would want it. All you would ever need to do is ask it of me. _ He pulled her into his arms and walked back towards the cart. Casavir climbed into the back of the cart, occupying the bench that Bishop and Hildr were on earlier. Hildr was only too happy to curl up against him, especially once Casavir layered a fur over his breastplate for her to be more comfortable. Etienne took in the sweet sight of the two of them with a smile, but Bishop was annoyed that she had been taken from him. He sat next to Delphine on the driver’s bench and sulked as they rode on into the night, back towards Whiterun and Riften. 


	21. Rorikstead

When the wagon stopped in Rorikstead, Bishop was jumping from the driver's bench and running to the inn, determined to get a drink after having to stay sober and talk with the Paladin for that long. He was also studiously avoiding looking in the back of the cart.  _ Damned knight ruined everything. Driving us right into a bandit camp, the fool. She had been only too happy with all of the attention that I had been giving her after the embassy. If I had let her make noise, she would have probably been screaming. And after she had gone for her swim she came back to the cart, cradled in his arms. The damned knight had insisted on staying and sitting with her, forcing me up next to Delphine as she drove the wagon.  _ He had looked back more than once as the cart rattled on in the night to try and see what they were up to, but Casavir’s broad shoulders blocked his view of her.  _ Damn Paladin would have tried to make her as happy as I had tried to if he had been brave enough. I doubt the virgin would have known what to do with her though. I would give my soul to Oblivion if that damn Paladin had even the faintest idea of how to please her. _ He was only too happy to make it to Frostfruit Inn, and ask the bartender for a drink or six. 

Casavir was holding his lady in his arms, her head against the fur layer on his chest when they finally stopped in Rorikstead. She was fast asleep, and he could not find it in his heart to move her just yet. He watched Bishop seemingly dart for the inn, and waited for Delphine to come into the wagon and wake the man on the other bench before he tried to rouse his lady. He ran his hand firmly down her side, but she still slept. After a few moments, he wondered what Bishop would do to wake her, and reached down to pinch her ass. Almost instantly as she let out a small yelp at the small sharp pain. He felt bad, but he still chuckled at how well that worked, and made a note to use it if he ever needed her attention urgently again. “Come my lady, it is time to get you to bed.” He curled a lock of her still sodden dyed hair behind her ear and under the hood of his cloak that she was now wrapped in.  _ Akatosh’s mercy it is not so cold that she would get sick from her wet hair and clothing _ .

“Only if you will be my pillow still.” She shifted slightly in his arms, but sounded like she was about to fall asleep again if he didn’t move quickly. 

“If there is a double bed here in Rorikstead, my lady, and if that is your wish, then so be it.” Casavir rubbed her side again. It would be nice to sleep in a bed with her again, even if all they did was sleep. “Just as you requested, my lady.”

“Rorikstead?” She thrashed slightly in his arms, as if she was trying to fight with someone in her stupor. 

“My lady, you do not need to try and make me into a more comfortable pillow. If you do not wish to sleep against me any more tonight, you only need to say the word.” He grabbed her wrists, and slowly kissed them both as he tried to maintain eye contact with her, hoping that she would understand that he was sincere in that. Especially with her in this state, he wanted to make sure that she believed every word he said to her. “Come. Let us get you to sleep, my lady.” He scooped her up and, gingerly getting out of the cart, followed the others into the inn. 

When the innkeeper said that there was no more space left for him and Hildr, he returned to the cart. Casavir arranged all of the furs around Hildr in the center of the cart bed as best as he could, as well as into a bed for the two of them for the night, before using the tent to cover the top of the wagon to keep them dry as well.  _ My poor stallion will just have to sleep tied to the cart, and the mares as well. _ He slid his armor onto one of the benches before he crawled in next to her, and held her close in their bedrolls. Casavir was hoping that Bishop would not disturb them tonight, and that she would at least get a good night’s sleep. He made sure to murmur some of the new love poems she had inspired to her until he heard her breath even out.

In the morning, Hildr woke with a start. _ Last I remembered I was in Casavir’s arms as he spoke sweet words and love poems to me. He tried to get us a room, didn’t he?  _ She looked again, taking in the benches to either side, and the tent stretched above her. She heard grumbling and movement beside her, before she felt a strong arm around her, and being pulled against someone else. She looked over to see Casavir holding her close even as he still slept.  _ He must still be asleep. He would be blushing if he did this while awake. My sweet knight, protecting me even as we sleep in the back of the cart together _ . She blushed, enjoying the simple touch and the feeling of him close against her. _ If only we could do more out here. Bishop would be certain to kill Casavir if he were able to for such a slight as this. _ She tilted her head up and kissed him sweetly on the lips. 

Casavir’s eyes fluttered open before they closed again, but he didn’t pull away from her. His arm that was around her pulled her more firmly against himself, and his fingers wound into her shortened hair and kept her lips locked against his. He only broke the kiss when he needed to breathe. “My lady,” he kissed the words against her lips as much as spoke them to her. “Did you sleep well?” 

“In your arms, Casi, always.” She curled up closer against him.  _ And I awoke happy as well. _ His warm breath cascaded over her face. “Where are we?” She murmured against his lips in return. With both of their bedrolls between them, she couldn’t get her hands directly on him to pull him closer and fluster him. 

Casavir hesitated before he answered her.  _ Why would he hesitate in telling me? _ His arms tightened around her, pinning her down both to the floor of the cart as well as against him. “Rorikstead, my lady.”

“...Lokir.” She squirmed, trying to get out of Casavir’s grasp. After a minute he released her, and let her scramble out of the cart. When she had crawled out of the cart and sprinted away, he rose cautiously and donned his armor, watching her move away through the fields. 

Casavir followed her away from the cart and into the fields surrounding Rorikstead. He had seen and felt how she reacted when they first arrived in the town, as well as again this morning. He had seen that look on too many of his brothers and sisters in arms.  _ There is something about this place. She should not be alone, not now.  _ Casavir kept his distance as he followed her.  _ There is no need to frighten her further _ . This place scared her enough. Casavir stood back a little way until he saw her stop and sit in the long grasses. He didn’t exactly sneak over to her, but he did slowly approach as quietly as he was able.  _ If she doesn't want me beside her, I will at least watch her back while she is out here _ . 

“Are you alright, my lady?” Hildr had turned, and unsheathed her dagger when he spoke. Casavir stopped in his tracks and held up his hands to dissuade her from taking any further actions. “My apologies, I did not mean to startle you. I wanted to make sure that you were not in any danger out here.” He cast a glance across the open fields around them where he stood, and was happy to see that Hildr had put her dagger away when he looked back at her. Without any real trees or shrubs, there would be no way for anyone to sneak up on her. “You also did not look like you should be left alone right now. Is everything alright?” He dropped down only a pace or so from her, and relaxed onto his side.  _ She still seems on edge, but better now _ . 

Hildr let out a long shuddering breath, and looked out over the fields before she answered him. “There was another with us… in the cart, on the way to Helgen.” She had a distant look in her eyes, absently playing with her much shorter hair. “Ulfric, Ralof, him, and I. We were captives together.” _ I haven’t told him about how I got there, to be at Helgen for the attack. Did he know? He was at Castle Dour when I met him, and he is a Knight, a Paladin. Cas must have some connections to know that there was an execution scheduled that day _ . She stole a glance at him, and saw him playing with a stalk of the long grasses while she spoke. “A topic for a-another time.” She swallowed hard, trying to work moisture into her mouth. He met her gaze and nodded once before looking back at the grass. 

“When we were in Helgen, he got out of the cart before the rest of us. Hadvar only asked him his name, and he ran. The leggate. She… she ordered him shot. He… Lokir was running for his life. His hands were bound. He…” She felt a hand on her back. 

“It is alright, my lady. You do not need to tell me any more.” He stroked her cheek with his thumb, gently. He was kneeling at her side now, and she had not even noticed him moving over towards her. “We should go get breakfast.” Casavir held out a hand and all but hauled her to her feet, before wrapping his arm around her to support her weight. 

Hildr was grateful for Casavir’s arm around her waist as he walked her back to the cart and the inn. Once they were at the door he released her with a blush. She understood. It would be bad enough that Casavir had carried her back to the cart after her swim, but he had also stayed with her after that, forcing Bishop from her side. To then sleep in the cart with her would only distill Bishop’s wrath, even if he never learned of that stolen kiss. Hildr felt her cheeks warm as she pushed past Casavir into the Frostfruit Inn. 

Bishop was sitting alone at the bar, where he no doubt spent the whole night if he wasn’t able to sleep. Delphine was sitting at a table in the corner where she could watch everyone, and she was speaking with Etienne while flipping through the leather journals Hildr had stolen from the embassy. No doubt to see if Etienne remembered or overheard anything else from the Thalmor while they tortured him. Hildr grazed her fingers against Casavir’s and led the way over to a table along the far wall. Delphine would not be giving up her perch, but this way, if Bishop wanted to join them he could.

The young nord man who did join them was not whom she was expecting. He looked young enough that he did not have to shave every day if he did not want to, barely old enough to be a man, but with the muscular build of a man used to hard work.  _ One of the local farm boys then. _ "Yes? How can we help you?" Hildr’s tone was light and conversational, even if she was still tired and wanted to go back to sleep.  _ Preferably with Casavir, but Bishop would do as well if Cas didn’t want to sleep with me any more _ . 

"Are you an adventurer? You must be the leader of these people." He nodded over his shoulder at Bishop and motioned to Delphine and Etienne. "Especially given your shadow here." The boy shot an admiring grin at Casavir in his plate and mail who quickly looked away, studying the wall in front of him.

"Maybe. And you are?"  _ At the very least he did not call me the Dragonborn, and Casavir did not seem ready to correct the boy _ . 

"Erik. Son of the innkeeper, and looking to make my fortune somewhere far from Rorikstead. Would you…” Erik looked around the common room before leaning closer to Hildr and half whispering to her. “Would you take me with you? Please. I swear I will not be a burden. I can fight." He sounded hopeful that they would agree and he would get to see more of the wide world at her side. 

Hildr wanted to immediately tell the boy no, but feared what his response would be to that, especially given that he was so close to her, almost pushing her against Casavir on the small bench.  _ How to tell this boy that I have never made kidnapping a priority, and that is certainly what people here would see it as _ .

Casavir took a more measured approach, as he finally turned and addressed the young man sitting on Hildr’s other side. "Have you ever held a weapon before, Erik?"

"Aye. A bow against wolves, I have helped defend the animals." Erik seemed proud that he had done so much in his life, and like it would prove his value to their band. 

Casavir almost snorted. "Against people?"

"No. There has never been a need before. The guards from Whiterun keep us safe. They always chased off the bandits, and never let the rest of us help." Erik seemed a bit shy to admit it, but he said it all the same. He looked like it shouldn’t be that much of a deterrent to his participation in a great adventure. 

"Have you ever left your village before?" Casavir almost sounded like he would give the boy a chance if he answered his questions correctly. Hildr could see Delphine shooting glances at them.  _ How annoyed Bishop would be if Casavir allowed this poor boy to come along as well. He always did accuse me of taking in strays whenever they came running to me. But I can’t let this poor boy come with us. There is no way that he would be able to hold his own if we were attacked. Erik would at least have the heart to fight back, unlike that bard, Alec, who wanted to come with us… Erik at least seems more awestruck and lusting for adventure rather than for me…  _

"Once or twice. It has been a long time since I did. I have to help my da with the inn and the farm and..." Erik trailed off, realizing he was not helping his case any.

"Can you ride, Erik?"

"Yes." Erik puffed up on the bench next to Hildr. "I always win when we hold races at festivals."

"But never longer than for a race?" Casavir cocked an eyebrow at the young man.

"No." Erik deflated at the realization. Casavir turned back to his breakfast, letting the boy think about the answers that he had given to the questions Casavir had asked. Hildr gave the boy a measuring look. “It’s just… you look like you’ve seen your fair share of adventure. I envy you that. But maybe… maybe you can help me with something?”

“What is it that you would need, Erik?” She laid a hand on his shoulder, trying not to completely dissuade the young man out of something that he really wanted in life. 

“I want to be an adventurer like you, but my father says that I can’t. He says he needs me to stay here and work on the farm. One more season he says, but he says that every year. One more season will never be enough, and I don’t want to waste my life away on a farm in the middle of nowhere.” Erik was getting more and more frustrated with every word, but he took a deep breath before he continued. Erik put both of his hands on the table and looked at them for a long time before he continued. “Even if he would let me be an adventurer, we couldn’t afford to buy armor. My father’s name is Mralki. I hope you can change his mind.” 

“Why?” Hildr asked the one word question in an even tone.

"What?" Erik whipped his head over to look at her, almost as if he did not completely understand the question or why she would think to ask him something like that. 

“Why do you want to be an adventurer? Why do you want to leave your peaceful village, your family?" Hildr rubbed Erik’s shoulder before she removed her hand. 

“My father was a soldier. He fought in the Great War and when it was over he retired here to raise a family. My mother died when I was just a babe, so he did the best he could to raise me on his own. It’s not the most exciting place in the world, but the people work hard and don’t cause trouble for anyone. I have told my father so many times that I wish to see the wide world. I don’t want to live here safe from everything. I don’t want to waste my life here.”

Hildr looked over to Casavir sitting next to her, but he was pointedly ignoring the both of them.  _ What horrors has Casavir faced that he would want to discourage another from this type of life? Certainly it is not ideal, and I would give my eye teeth for a peaceful life with my companions, but there are worse ways to live. _ Hildr laid a gentle hand on Casavir’s forearm, just to let him know that she was there for him, and was happily surprised to feel his hand on hers as well, but he did not turn to look at her.  _ If only we could discuss this as well. How much of his past would Casavir be willing to tell me and a stranger? _

Turning back to Erik, still seated beside her, she did her best to sound compassionate. “I will speak with him, but I will not make any promises, Erik.”

“Thank you! I can’t stand the thought of being trapped in this village for the rest of my days.” Erik got up and quickly left the two of them to the rest of their breakfasts. The boy looked and acted like she had told him she would force his father to accept his decision to be an adventurer. 

Once Hildr was sure that Erik was far enough away that he wouldn’t overhear, she turned on Casavir. “What did you mean with your questions, Cas?”  _ Certainly he had a point in asking questions, specifically these questions. _ The questions had sounded purposeful and probing into the boy’s history.

“To make the young man think about what he is asking for, my lady. Is he really ready to leave the comfort of his own home if he had never had to use a weapon to defend his life? Never had to defend another? Never had to ride for a day and a night?” Casavir shook his head sadly. “He is not ready, my lady. He would not be able to hold up in a battle, not even against the bandits we encountered late last night. We should not take him with us.”

“But we should at least help him, Cas.”  _ This didn’t sound like Casavir. _ He would not act so cruelly or be so dismissive, she was certain of it.  _ It would not be like my sweet knight to act like this. The man who asked these questions did not sound like the one who has whispered love poems in my ear _ .

“I did not say that we should not help him, my lady, only that we should not take him with us. Not unless you also plan to train him in combat. I fear that I would not be able to train him alone, and I wouldn’t want such a green swordsman at your side. I would do my best to protect you both, but I cannot promise I would be able to if it came down to that. I doubt Bishop would be of any help with Erik, my lady.” Casavir drank the last of his tea, as if that were the end of the conversation. Casavir’s words helped her to relax slightly. _ He had given great care to the questions he had asked, and there was kindness in his motives. _

Hildr grabbed her tea and crossed to the bar where Bishop still sat and drank. Erik was there talking to his father already, and he seemed in high spirits. 

Mralki was lecturing his son when she got to the bar. “I heard you sneaking around downstairs last night. Were you trying to break into my chest again son? I’ve told you to leave it alone.”

“I just wanted to try on your old armor, from back when you were a soldier. I thought I might be old enough to wear it now, da.”  _ If I didn’t know any better, it sounds like a conversation between a father and his five year old son. This boy is certainly not even close to ready if he is going to talk like that. _

“I’ve told you a hundred times. I lock that chest for a reason. I don’t want you getting a head full of ideas about adventure and glory.” The innkeeper didn’t sound angry as much as he sounded disappointed in his son.

“I’m old enough to decide how to live my life, and I’d be honored to wear your armor, if you’d just let me. I’m strong enough to handle it.” Erik had his arms crossed over his chest, looking like a sullen child, despite his years.

“Strong, yes, but how clever are you?” Mralki sighed and his voice held a note of annoyed resignation. “I’ll tell you what, son, if you can open the lock on my chest, you can have everything in it.”

“I’ll take you challenge, da, but if I win I get to start a new life as an adventurer, and with no objections from you.” Erik seemed to notice her at that point, and vigorously motioned to his father that she should be the one making the case for him to leave. “Here, da. Let this adventurer talk to you about it. I am sure that she will help you see reason on this.” Erik hurried off to get back to work, leaving Hildr to face the young man’s father alone. 

“Umm. Yeah. What is the main concern with not allowing your son to leave Rorikstead?” She snatched her hand down when she noticed she was playing with her hair. 

“He isn’t ready.” Mralki’s voice was firm and even. His arms were crossed over his chest as if to prove that he would not yield on that front. Suddenly he looked every inch the soldier that his son claimed he had been. 

Hildr held up both of her hands up in a defensive position. “Not arguing that point. I don’t mean to take him with us when we leave today, but is there anything else? Erik said something about not being able to afford the armor?”

“Aye. That… has been an issue as well.”

Hildr rummaged through the satchel on her hip, and pulled out a pouch of septims to hand to Mralki. “Here. This should be more than enough for armor for your son. And perhaps some training for him as well. If we had more time, I would offer to train him with sword and shield as well. Perhaps the next time we come through Rorikstead he will be ready and we can take him with us.” 

Bishop finally scoffed from where he was sitting at the bar next to her, and emptied the tankard of what was decidedly not tea. He was obviously drinking even at this hour. She shot him a weighing look, but turned back to the innkeeper with a more reassuring gaze. 

“I am sure that he will be fine, and if he were to come with us one day, I would make sure that he is well trained and watched over.” She pressed the coin purse into his hand without counting it, and would not let him hand her even a part of it back. He was claiming that it was much too generous, but Hildr knew how much some good armor would cost, as well as some training for the boy. “I insist. He should be well outfitted, and well trained. He has the heart and spirit of an adventurer, and this will help him get the training and the equipment of one as well. Consider it a gift to him, as well as an investment in his future.” 

Hildr turned back to Bishop who was again scoffing into his now empty ale. She ran a hand over his shoulders slowly, trying to improve his mood. “Are you coming back to the wagon, Bishop? We should probably head out soon. And you look like you barely slept again.” The deep purple bags under Bishop’s eyes made it look like he hadn’t slept in a few weeks. _ And with him alone in a bed with Karnwyr last night, I am sure that he couldn’t sleep. Karnwyr takes up more of the bed than I ever do. _ “C’mon. Finish your ale and let’s go.” Hildr was ready for Bishop to wrap his arms around her when he stood up, but was only slightly surprised when Bishop pulled her in for a kiss as well. The smile on his lips when he let her go, and the way his eyes darted over to where she had left Casavir confirmed her suspicion. She rolled her eyes as she led him back to the table Casavir still sat at, even if he was now blushing into what was left of his breakfast. 

“Cas, c’mon. Time to go.” She ran a finger across the back of his neck, making him shiver before he got up and followed her out of the inn. 

When they got out to the cart, Hildr had an idea. She whispered her plan to Delphine and Etiene to make sure that they would agree before she turned back to her two companions, both of whom were looking a bit worse for wear. 

“Delphine and Etiene agreed, you two are in the back with me.” She studied their hesitant faces. Either of them would have leapt at the choice to be sitting alone with her, or as alone as they could be, but together was another matter. “Bishop, you first, slide the whole way in and to the front. Go on.” Bishop hesitantly did as he was told. “Good boy.” 

“Cas, you tie a rope across the back, and secure the tent over it.” She stepped closer to him. “And you can fall asleep on the other side of me in the wagon bed.” Casavir blushed, a sure sign that he understood what she meant. Hildr hopped into the back of the wagon and got to work sorting through the pile of furs and bedrolls so that the three of them could ride comfortably in the middle of the wagon. Bishop was only too happy to lean into her chest and wrap his hands around her hips, at least until the tell-tale crack of knuckles against metal armor sounded. 

“What in Oblivion is this, Princess!? You really think that I would want to cuddle with him?” Bishop was exhausted and outraged. The exhaustion was the heavier of the two and it eventually won out. 

“No, I just thought that you wouldn’t be able to sleep without me, and I was giving you that option.” She rubbed his cheek gently with her thumb. “Unless you would rather sleep alone on the other bench?” Hildr pinched his cheek gently in a teasing manner. No matter what, Bishop would not pass up an opportunity to be this close to her, even if Casavir was there too. 

“No. But he can move. You’re mine sweetness.” Bishop mimed biting at her neck. He was too far to reach her, and he knew it was just a show. 

“Bishop, play nice. Don’t pout or else I won’t let you cuddle against me at all. And I know you think I am a comfy pillow.” She held her arms out to him again, and after a heartbeat, he leaned into her chest. Bishop pulled her legs up over his lap so that she was sitting sideways with him, and to give him a better hold around her waist. She curled her fingers through his hair as he got comfortable against her. 

The smile that Hildr craned her neck to give Casavir was apologetic at best, but he smiled and blushed all the same in response as he moved to make her more comfortable as well.  _ Hopefully we do not hit too many bumps, or all three of us are going to be scrambling against each other. Or worse bandits _ . Hildr reached back and stroked Casavir’s hair as well before resting that hand on Casavir’s knee. 

Eventually they were all situated, and happily asleep in the wagon. Bishop curled up with Hildr as if she was some sort of pile of pillows. Casavir with an arm on the bench behind the three of them, his head leaning back against hers as she leaned back into his chest. Hildr with a hand on each of them. 


	22. Homecomings

The cart clattered to a rough stop, shaking all three of them awake. Bishop’s head hit Hildr’s chin, causing her to bite her lip, and jerk back striking Casavir’s nose. It was a remarkably efficient way for all three of them to wake up that Delphine had stumbled upon.  _ And I thought Cas was a rough wagon driver _ . Moans and grumbled curses erupted from everyone’s lips, almost in unison. Even Casavir uttered rough curses to HIldr’s surprise. Hildr sucked on her lip, grateful to not taste blood, and quickly checked on the two men with her. Bishop was rubbing his head as he sat up and reluctantly untangled himself from her, and Casavir was rubbing his nose, but it did not look like it was bleeding or broken.  _ Blessed Akatosh, I don’t think I would be up to healing either of them, even if Cas can heal himself. _ She stretched from where she sat between the two of them, and ran her fingers through her hair. Casavir and Bishop both watched her stretches with hungry grins, and gentle probing touches where they were able. Casavir had the same hunger in his eyes that Bishop did, but his hands were still gentle and his touches still hesitant across her shoulders and back. 

Delphine appeared over the side of the cart after the three of them had gotten somewhat settled. “It is a good thing we didn’t run into any trouble. You three would have been less than useless sleeping all day like that.” Delphine was apparently standing on one of the wagon wheels and looking into the bed of the cart at the three of them. “But we made it to Whiterun in one piece and without incident, so there is that. You should have a few more hours of daylight left, not that any of you will need to sleep tonight at this rate.” Delphine scoffed at them, apparently not understanding this was the only way for any of the three of them to get any good sleep. “Anyway, safe travels, and I will see you in Riverwood once you have Esbern.” With that she disappeared out of sight with the rattle of weapons and armor. For a while there was the sound of heavy footfalls as she ran back up the hill to her inn in Riverwood.

“Any chance that I could get some rest?” Etienne was still in the driver’s seat, and Hildr felt guilty for leaving him alone with Delphine all day. 

“Yeah, I’ll be right up. Bishop, care to join me?” Bishop looked startled and excited by her suggestion, and Casavir mildly offended. “Will you make sure he is completely healed, Cas? Please? We are going to need all of the good will that we can get when we are in Riften. Once you are sure he is fine, you can always ride alongside. I am sure that Justice would appreciate not trailing alongside the wagon for a change.” Casavir nodded after a moment and she climbed up onto one of the benches and into the driver’s seat beside Etienne, her mending in hand. She helped him back into the back of the wagon before allowing Bishop to join her. After a brief tussle, Bishop snatched the reins out of Hildr’s hands. 

“Give over, Princess. There is no way that you are going to be able to work on that mending of yours and drive the wagon at the same time. And I am not about to take up mending anytime soon if I can help it.” There was a playful lilt in Bishop’s voice. 

Etienne dismissed Casavir’s offer to heal him, claiming all he really needed was some sleep. Casavir grabbed his saddle and climbed out of the wagon, only just managing to untie Justice before Bishop snapped the reins to get the cart moving. Hildr jabbed Bishop in the ribs for trying to leave Casavir behind. Before they had gotten far, Casavir galloped up beside them. He drew rein, making Justice prance a few steps. 

“If you would like to ride as well, my lady, just say the word. I would be happy to let you ride with me.” Casavir said it with a smile to her, but glared at Bishop, the tightness around his eyes betraying his anger. A temper simmered just beneath the surface and she had been starting to notice it more and more. 

“I do appreciate it, Cas. And I will be sure to let you know.” She reached out her hand for his, and gave his hand a squeeze as she winked at him. “But for now, how about you ride behind us? I have my bow, and I can keep a lookout. And if you can shoot from horseback, we should be all set.” She turned as if to look at Bishop before continuing. “Besides, I think I trust your aim better than some others.”

Casavir had to bite the inside of his lip to keep his expression unreadable. He appreciated the comment that she was making about his aim, but the time that Bishop had shot an arrow that hit Hildr it had been from her stepping in the way.  _ She had done it to protect me. And when I recently shot an arrow wide of her, it was only because I was spooked at hearing someone in the water. _ He felt his heart thundering in his chest as he looked at the playful smile that Hildr was giving the both of them. Hildr’s shortened shaggy hair, red-brown now thanks to the washed out dye, flowed around her jaw in loose curls which Casavir had never noticed before. Her emerald eyes glittered just like the golden circlet in her hair did.  _ She is so beautiful. Blessed Dibella, thank you for creating her for me. She is one of your most perfect creations. Blessed Mara how I envy Bishop the chance to make her happy. Maybe… maybe once she knows about my past, she would be willing to give me that same chance. Only if she would want that from me.  _

“One time, ladyship. And it was because you stepped in front of my arrow.”  _ I would never intentionally do anything that would harm a single hair on your head. _ Bishop wrapped a protective arm around Hildr in an attempt to force Casavir away. “Besides, I wouldn’t do anything to you that I am not sure you wouldn’t enjoy.” Bishop kissed her shoulder, and pulled her closer against him. Casavir was still riding by the side of the cart to Bishop’s dismay.  _ If he would not leave on his own, I guess I will have to try and force him away again. _ “Well ladyship, how would you like to see one of the most beautiful views in all of Skyrim?” Bishop gave her a long look, hunger clearly gleaming in his golden eyes. “Well, second only to following you as you walk, of course.” Bishop shot a cheeky grin over at the Paladin, happy to see the other man roll his eyes before drawing rein and waiting to tail the wagon. 

“A sight only second to me, Bishop?” Hildr looked up at him through fluttering lashes, making his heart take off at a run. The sun glittered in her emerald eyes, seemingly deep enough that he could drown in them. Her hair, once a beautiful red, was now closer to the same mousey hair color as his.  _ Dammit woman, how can you still have this effect on me after all this time? _

“Of course. Not even the most beautiful sunset could hold a candle to you, ladyship.”  _ I mean it too. Even the most beautiful, most captivating sunset could not hold my interest like you could, ladyship. _

“Sunset?” Hildr had a playful grin as she tilted her head, causing the loose curls of her hair to bounce. 

“Yes, sunset, sweetness. Because that means that you are about to be under me for the whole night.”  _ If only the Paladin could have been riding alongside to hear that comment. Maybe it would finally chase that other man away once and for all. _ Bishop gave her arm a small pinch, causing her to jump closer to him. 

Etienne coughed loudly as if to remind Bishop that he was still in the back of the cart and that he at least was well within earshot. Hildr blushed in response, and Bishop chuckled at how easily she could be flustered sometimes, even if she wasn’t shy when he did manage to get his hands on her. 

“I doubt we could make it there by sunset tonight, but we should be able to sleep there, and set off again in the morning. And before you ask, yes it is on the way… more or less anyway.” Bishop leaned back against the driver’s seat, pulling Hildr against his chest.

She settled in next to Bishop, apparently enjoying how possessive he could be. “Fine Bishop. Do you know where you are heading?”

“Do you think I would lead you astray, ladyship?” He rubbed her back as he held her next to him.

Hildr curled closer into Bishop’s arms, forcing him to lean back even further in the driver’s seat. She wrapped an arm around his chest, and rested her head on his shoulder. “Never.” 

Bishop shot a glance back behind the cart, pretending that he was making sure that there were no bandits or animals following them, but the purpose of his look was entirely to make sure that Casavir saw Hildr was curled close to him. Casavir was curling his reins around his fist, a blend of anger and envy clear on the other man’s otherwise stoic face.  _ Well, now he knows how I felt last night when he trudged back out of the inn with Hildr in his arms instead of handing her off to me _ . 

“Good. This place is special to me, ladyship.”  _ As special as you are to me. _ Bishop gave the top of Hildr’s head a kiss, and could almost hear the knight fuming behind them. He smiled as the cart rolled on in the late afternoon light, enjoying the feeling of her close against him. Hildr had slid only a hand’s distance away from him and was busy mending and embroidering on the bench beside him, and Bishop had a sneaking suspicion it was not just her clothes that she was working on beside him. 

The route was different from what Bishop remembered. _ At least, I think it is _ . _ I never remember it being uphill pretty much the entire way. In retrospect, I never really approached Nilheim from this direction. Someone else must make this trip, so if they can make it up this hill, so can we _ . Hildr was uttering curses from beside him on the driver’s bench, worried that the horses wouldn't be able to make it. 

"Couldn't have taken us somewhere easier to get to, Bishop?" Hildr was clinging to him to stay on the bench, her mending and embroidery completely forgotten in her fight to stay next to him on the drivers bench. She heard a metallic clatter, and looked behind them to see Casavir had dismounted and was leading Justice up the hill instead of trying to ride up that incline.

“Welcome to Nelhiem, ladyship. A nice quiet slice of Skyrim that by some miracle is, on some level, all mine.” Just like you are, Ladyship. “We should be able to stay here pretty comfortably for the night, and leave in the morning. We aren’t far from Riften now. It is right over there. Somewhere.” Bishop gestured roughly towards the road they had just come up. “In the meantime, how about we set up camp and then slip away for a little bit, Princess.” Bishop curling a lock of hair around his fingers made for a very convincing argument.

“We can set up camp, but I think we could all do with a good night’s sleep.” Hildr pressed herself into Bishop’s arms as if to drive the point home. 

Casavir saw Bishop wrap his arms around Hildr and felt another spike of jealousy. He turned his attention on rubbing down Justice as well as Mist. Bishop could take care of Kara on his own, if the man could ever bother to be that responsible. Casavir grabbed their packs, and threw Bishop’s at him as he walked past the other man and up to the tower. After he had tossed the pack at Bishop did he regret it.  _ My lady will certainly not be pleased with me for such petty behavior. _ It did feel good to give in to his more base instincts from time to time. The tower was not that far away from where the two of them were embracing, but once he was inside the tower he could not see or hear them. There was a small alcove with a window just inside the tower. It provided just enough space that two bedrolls could be laid out next to each other. There was another alcove that was about the same size.  _ Just a question of who will be sleeping where. As long as I don’t have to sleep next to Bishop, I am sure I will be able to sleep just fine _ . Casavir leaned up against the wall, looking out the window at the beautiful landscape before him. 

Hildr grabbed her pack as well as Bishop’s, and followed after Casavir. It was somewhat endearing that he would be so possessive of her. She found him at the lower level of the tower. It was a cramped area, but with a sound ceiling and sturdy walls it would be a good place to sleep. He was there, standing and looking despondently out the window. Hildr silently placed both of the packs on the floor and walked up behind Casavir before wrapping her arms around his chest. She kissed his shoulder, and pulled herself close against him. “Are you alright, Casi? Is there something wrong?”  _ It feels good to have my arms around him again. It would feel better if he were not armored. _

“No, my lady, I…” Casavir sighed, resting a hand on both of hers. “It is nothing, my lady.”

“If you insist.” She released him and looked around the landing where they were. “It doesn’t look like we will be able to all sleep in one group tonight. It doesn’t look like there will be enough space anywhere else that will be warm and dry as well. Would you be opposed to taking the space next to my bedroll?” Hildr gave him a playful wink as he blushed a deep crimson, almost as if she had read his mind. “Bishop isn’t here to claim that spot for himself, so I guess it is first come, first served.” She leaned up on her toes and gave him a gentle kiss on his temple before unrolling her bedroll and placing her pack next to where he stood, still looking out the window at the landscape. The sun had almost completely set, and the clouds were tinged with a beautiful array of dark pinks and purples. Hildr took one last long look out the window, close beside Casavir, before she was off, hurrying back to the others where they were setting up camp below. 

“My lady, I…” But she was already gone before Casavir could get the words out. He quickly unrolled his bedroll as well and hurried after Hildr, back into the little camp that was quickly coming together. Bishop was roughly brushing out Kara, and Etienne was stoking the fire when Hildr and Casavir rejoined them. It was a comforting sound, Etienne stoking the fire and making it crackle. It was warm and comfortable here.  _ I can see why Bishop is so fond of it here. It is almost peaceful here _ . 

They ate from the provisions that they had brought. It was too late and too dark to hunt now. Even if Bishop could catch something, it would be near midnight before it was done cooking. Hildr sat between Bishop and Etienne, as Casavir lounged across the fire from her. She couldn’t confirm it, but she felt that Casavir never looked away from her, and was watching her the entire time they all sat there together. Etienne offered to take watch for the night, as if to repay them for taking him back home. After some brief discussion, Casavir agreed, but only allowed Etienne to take the second watch for the night. Casavir had followed the wagon during the day, and Etienne had not gotten as much sleep as he had thought. Casavir took the first watch, and quickly walked off to start that first watch, perched on one of the steps partway up the hill on which they had made their camp for the night.

Hildr watched Casavir walk away from the fire before she rose and walked to the tower, Bishop in tow. “Your bedroll is over there, Bishop.” Hildr gestured to the alcove away from the window. “I suggest you get a good night sleep Bishop, especially since you will be driving the wagon again on our way out of here.”

“And you will be by my side, right sweetness?” The playful tone in his voice made it clear that sleep was very much not on his mind for tonight.

“Not tonight, darling. You, Etienne, and presumably Karnwyr will be sleeping over there.”

“So you and Casavir will be sleeping together again?” Bishop crossed his arms and gave her a hateful look. He was clearly annoyed at the idea of not having her with him tonight. “I thought the deal was if there was a watch set for the night, you slept at my side, not his. Or did I get that wrong, sweetness?”

“No, that is correct, Bishop.” Hildr shrugged. “But first come, first served, darling.” She slipped out of Bishop’s grasp and walked down to where Casavir sat on watch.

She snuck up on Casavir, thankful for all of the time she spent in the guild, as well as Nocturnal's own luck. Casavir never knew that she was there until she wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. From where she was kneeling behind him she was able to breathe in his clean scent. Hildr kissed the back of his neck, rubbing her nose over the short hairs at the nape of his neck. “I will be waiting for you, Casavir. Remember that you will be sleeping beside me.” She felt him draw a deep shuddering breath, and smiled before she kissed his neck again. “Are you certain that you are going to be warm enough out here alone? Maybe I should grab our bedrolls and we can just sleep together out here tonight. Under the stars and without a care in the world.” She looked up at the stars above them in the night sky. It was so beautiful here in The Rift. With the autumnal colors of the leaves, and the crisp days and cool nights it reminded her of her lost home. 

“My lady, I would not want you to be cold out here with me. You should go to your bedroll. I will be along soon.” He sounded excited to be with her under the stars again, like they were in Riverwood, and a little worried that she would actually grab their bedrolls if he let her.

“But won’t I get cold waiting for you to come warm me up? I know you wouldn’t want Bishop to take that responsibility from you, would you?”

“My lady, that… I would…” 

“I think I know something that would work at least passably well right now." Hildr ran her hands over his breastplate, searching for the knot that held his cloak in place. She quickly undid it, letting it fall against her as she pulled it from his shoulders. 

“But, my lady…”

She undid her cloak as well, not listening to his protests. She wrapped her cloak around his shoulders with a flourish so that he could smell her floral scent on the fur that now enveloped him. “There. That should keep you warm for the night, Casi.”

“Thank you, my lady. You are too kind to me.”

_ If I were too kind to you, Casavir, I would take you as my own, no matter what protests you gave me about your vows. I would make you mine, and make sure that you would never leave me for another, no matter what would happen. No matter how upset you would be at me for making that decision for you _ . “If you say so, my knight.” She gathered up his cloak and wrapped it around her shoulders now that the cold was starting to cut through her dress and pebble her skin. His clean scent enveloped her, and she breathed deeply, feeling herself relax. Hildr gave Casavir one last kiss on his neck before she moved to leave. 

She felt soft fingers wrap around her wrist, stopping her in her tracks. She turned to look back at him, and felt his other hand graze her cheek. “May I, my lady?”

“Yes,” she breathed, barely able to contain her excitement, “you most certainly may.” 

Casavir gave her a quick kiss on the corner of her lips before he released her. “Sweet dreams, my lady.” He turned back out to keep watch as she walked back to the tower. She was glad the night hid her blush.

She hurried back to the tower and her bedroll, pointedly ignoring Bishop, Karnwyr, and Etienne as she snuggled in for the night. She was almost certain that Bishop was watching her, and that Etienne would have been happier to sleep anywhere else for the night, even under the wagon.  _ No, Bishop, I am not dealing with this right now. I have made my choice for tonight. Go to sleep.  _

Hildr woke up in the predawn darkness to a hand clamped over her mouth. Bishop had a finger over his lips, and was gesturing for her to stay silent as she followed him so as not to wake Casavir who was sleeping on his back beside her, one hand under his pillow, no doubt clutching his dagger. She kissed Bishop’s palm before she nodded and let him remove his hand from her mouth. Bishop helped her to her feet, and led her up the stairs in the ruined tower. 

Hildr was rubbing the sleep from her eyes when Bishop suddenly stopped, and was pulling her back against his chest. Bishop’s arms wrapped around her, his hands settling on her hips, and his warm breath was appearing in puffs in the cold morning air. His breath was warm on her neck and cheek, and set her heart to racing. Being this close to Bishop always had this effect on her, and she was made more unsteady by the height that they were at, with his hands being the only thing holding her steady and in place up here. 

“Just wait, Princess. This place was always someplace special to me. It was always one of my own small places in Skyrim. Even after all of these years, I still feel like I own this little tower. But I have never shared it with anyone before. And this view.” He squeezed her hips, and hungrily kissed her neck and shoulder as well as nipping at her ear while they stood there and watched the sun rise together. 

After a few minutes of his relentless touch, he spun her around and kissed her lips passionately. Her arms wound around his neck in an almost automatic reaction, and he kept one arm around her back while he cupped her ass with the other, encouraging her leg to go around his waist. She gave in to his touch gladly and willingly. They were both panting when Bishop finally released her lips. “And now it is the most beautiful view in all of Skyrim, if not all of Nirn.” He kissed her cheek as he still held her against him. “Wouldn’t you agree, Casavir?” 

Hildr scrambled, trying to get out of Bishop’s arms, but he only laughed as he held her more tightly against himself, running his hand greedily over her ass, and over the back of her thigh.

“Bishop.” Casavir spun on his heel and stalked away from the both of them. 

It was only once Casavir’s footsteps completely disappeared did Bishop finally release her, reluctantly. She ran after Casavir as soon as she was free of his grasp. It felt so good to hold her against himself, no matter when it was. Sure it felt great when he was fucking her, but even just to hold her in moments like this was amazing. She had given in and kissed him back as easily as she had when it was just the two of them traveling the countryside of Skyrim without a care in the world. _ I wish I were not looking back on those days with such longing. She is mine. She could have been mine for good. My woman. My wife. The mother of my children. No. Not unless she would want that or ask for it. How happy I would be to give her whatever she would want. Everything and more _ . Bishop sighed, he had messed up in kissing her as he had, and continuing once he heard Casavir approaching. Bringing Hildr’s attention to the Paladin’s presence there watching them in the dawn light was probably the biggest mistake.  _ No doubt Casavir would have just walked away and never mentioned it. The knight was probably just looking for somewhere quiet to pray, and I had to provoke him. To Oblivion with it, I guess I better go get ready to move out.  _

It did not take long to find Casavir, he had not strayed too far from the tower. Hildr was embarrassed that Casavir had seen that, and hoped that he had not seen all of it. Casavir was kneeling, sitting back on his heels, his hands on his thighs, palms up.  _ He is praying then, and I will have to wait. It would not be anything new for Casavir to have seen me kiss Bishop, but this would have been the worst one if he had seen all of it. As long as he didn’t see me give in… And if he did? Then I will have to beg his forgiveness and hope that he will grant me that _ . Hildr crept slowly closer to Casavir, thanking Nocturnal that she still had her thieves’ luck. She sat down with her legs crossed underneath herself as she waited for him to finish his prayers. 

“Why are you here, my lady?” His voice was even and calm, if barely more than a whisper. There was no warmth in it, but he was not distant or cruel as she had feared he would be, given what he had seen. 

“It is where you are, Casi, and that is where I would like to be. For as long as you will permit me to be by your side.” Casavir cocked an eyebrow at her as she was speaking, but did not open his eyes. 

“My lady?” He cracked an eye open and looked at her for a few long moments when she didn’t say anything else. He closed his eyes and sighed. After a few more moments he opened his eyes, and settled into a more comfortable position to sit with her there, apparently accepting that she would not be chased off by his indifference to her presence while he prayed. He patted the ground by his side. “If you wish to be by my side, my lady, I will never chase you away.”

Hildr watched him as it dawned on him that she wasn’t going to settle with sitting beside him right now. Casavir slowly opened his arms to her, and she sprung over to him before settling in his lap. “Promise?” She wrapped her arms around his chest and leaned into his shoulder.

“I promise, my lady.” Hildr heard him take a deep breath before he cradled her against his chest. “Not that I think I could chase a dragon away.” He placed a long kiss on the top of her head. “But we need to get going. I am sure that Bishop is looking for us. Well, for you. And it is looking like it is a bit late to start to practice and train now. If we hope to make it to Riften today, we will need to leave now.” He rubbed her side not willing to let go of her just yet. 

“Alright, Casi. Let’s get ready then.” She unwound her arms from around his chest, and waited for him to stand up as well, offering her hand should he need it. It stung a little that Casavir did not even pretend to need her hand as he stood, and that he did not wrap his arm around her as they walked.  _ Maybe he is upset with me. Nothing I can do about it now. _ Hildr sighed as she followed Casavir to go pack up camp. She was focusing on where she was walking, and walked into Casavir in front of her where he waited for her with a hug and a kiss on her cheek before he went about breaking up camp. She stood there for a moment grinning like an idiot and touching her cheek before she hurried to help.  _ This stubborn knight is going to drive me crazy before much longer if he doesn’t give me an answer on his vows.  _

Since they had been traveling light and they had not really unpacked for the night at Nilheim, there was not much that they had to repack to continue their journey. 

Bishop was again in the driver’s seat, claiming that he was the only one who would know the way to get to Riften. Hildr was in the back of the cart with Etienne, and with only a little insistence managed to talk Casavir into riding beside them again. It had worked better than she had expected if she was being honest. This way, neither of them could claim to have the upper hand when it came to time with her. 

Hildr smiled to herself as she pulled out the mending that she had been working on during their trip to Riften so far. At the very least it was something relaxing and calming that she could do to distract herself. Apparently neither Bishop nor Casavir had noticed that one of their shirts had gone missing, and she hoped that she would be able to finish the designs of snowberries on branches around the necklines before either of them did notice. 


	23. Return to Riften

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since today is Thanksgiving in the United States, I just wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of you lovely readers. I am so incredibly grateful to you for your love and support. I hope that you are enjoying the story so far, and that you will continue to as well.
> 
> If someone had told me a year ago that I would be writing, or that anyone would be reading anything I wrote, I would have laughed at them. Now I wouldn't trade it for the world. 
> 
> I love you all to pieces. Stay safe!

The four of them left the wagon at the stables and they entered the city. The fool at the gate had tried to shake them down, but three men attending one woman, smart enough to know it was a shake down, made the guard think better of pressing the matter. Etienne slipped away as soon as they were in the city with only a whispered “thank you” to note his passage. 

“If anyone is going to know where Esbern is in Riften, it will be the Guild.” Casavir had been reasoning it out for most of the trip while he was riding alone since they left Delphine in Whiterun. He had read a guide to Skyrim while he was traveling here from Cyrodiil, and even the book had mentioned that the guild had more power in the city than the government.  _ Well it wasn’t wrong, we do essentially run this city, and there is not much that the Jarl can do about it. I just wish I remembered the name, so I didn’t have to search out my old guildmates.  _

Hildr groaned at the mention of the Thieves Guild. Casavir only cocked an eyebrow at her, but Bishop grinned at her. “C’mon, ladyship. They are an honest bunch. Well for the most part… Nice people anyway.”

She had endeavored to keep that part of her history a secret at all costs. It was easy enough to explain away lockpicking skills, everyone should be able to sleep somewhere warm and dry for the night, or her skill with a bow or sneaking, hunting to survive. But knowing who the members of the guild were, and them recognizing her as well wouldn’t be something that she could pass off as skills learned from living on her own.

_ And Brynjolf probably wouldn’t be too happy to see me right now _ .  _ Gods, how am I going to deal with that. Hey Bryn, long time no see. Sorry about fucking your brains out, and robbing you blind so that I could run away and go legit _ .  _ Oh, merciful Stendarr, blessed Mara, please don’t let him be the member of the guild out in the market _ . She slunk on behind the two of them as they walked through the city. She was grateful that a dirty look silenced Raven, and forced him to back off without approaching them. Although it could have been her two companions that did that as well. 

Sure enough, it was Brynjolf who was wandering around the Market stalls in Riften. He was in his usual clean blue coat with his hair braided.  _ Blessed Dibella he is still a sight for sore eyes, even if I would never go back to him. _ It was what he always wore when he was coming out of the Ratways and the Cistern to scam people. The guild armor was too distinctive, and everyone in Riften recognized it at a glance. She half hid behind a confused, but acquiescing and protective, Casavir as Brynjolf approached them in the market by the well.

“Bishop, lad, good to see you. Have you reconsidered my offer?” Brynjolf had that same happy lilt in his voice that Hildr remembered. It hurt to hear that happy voice again, but she was grateful that he still had that lilt. She had worried that she would have taken that from him as well when she took everything else.  _ Wait, Bryn knew Bishop as well? This should make for a good story.  _

“No Brynjolf, I am still happy as a Ranger, especially with my new patroness.” Bishop moved to grab Hildr’s wrist and pull her against him. 

“Of course you know the Thieves Guild. Is there any mischievous group that you aren’t neck deep with Bishop!? Are you going to tell me that you were part of the Dark Brotherhood next?” Casavir was obviously flustered, but not exactly surprised by the revelation that Bishop had worked to some degree with the Thieves Guild. When he threw his arms in the air in exasperation, Hildr locked eyes with Brynjolf. 

“And you, lass. You have some nerve showing your face around here again.” Brynjolf stepped closer to her, apparently oblivious to how the two men were trying to prevent that. “After how you left, most of the other members of the guild would want to see your head on a pike as an example. To do that to a guildmate, and a higher ranking one at that.” 

Bishop and Casavir both gave her startled and confused looks as she edged past them, and their protective stances, to stand in front of the red haired man. She wasn’t surprised that her shortened and darker hair didn’t throw him off as it had the Thalmor agents, or most anyone else she had met recently. He had known her only too well and for too long.

“Hey Bryn. Sorry about all that.” She scratched the back of her neck,  curling the short hairs at the nape of her neck around her fingers , trying to look like she had everything under control, but failing miserably. “But, I used what I stole from you while you slept to make an honest life for myself. Just like I had dreamed.” She blushed a deep red crimson.  _ Idiot. He always laughed when you told him that you wanted to go straight one day. Said that you never worked an honest day in your life for all the gold you carried, and he knew it. And what will BIshop and Casavir think of this revelation of my past _ . 

Bishop and Casavir both looked at her as if really just seeing her for the first time. Bishop looked almost proud that she had done something so mischievous as to rob someone that she knew while he slept, even if he didn’t know how she got him to sleep in the first place. Bishop had probably figured out she was a guild member based on her skills. 

Casavir, however, looked appalled that she would do something like that. She could almost hear his thoughts.  _ Robbing a man as he slept? _ If they only knew the half of it, she would be happy to leave it at that. Brynjolf, however, afforded her no such luxury. 

“Just stay away from Sapphire if you see her down to the flagon. She is still mad at you, mostly for afterwards. The others, especially Mercer and Vipir, thought it was a great heist.” He gave her a thoughtful once over. “But if you would be willing to help me out, for old time’s sake, lass, I think I might be able to smooth things over with the other guild members.” He had a mischievous glint in his eyes, and his lips were curled in a predatory grin. 

Hildr shifted her weight, and crossed her arms over her chest, giving Brynjolf a stubborn and weighing look.  “What are we talking about, Bryn?”  _ Too many of his scams never worked. And I have no intention of starting a battle in the streets if I get caught _ . 

“My lady, you cannot be serious. This is not why we came here.” _ My poor knight, this must be a major blow to him _ . For Casavir to see firsthand that she was not this perfect idol he had thought had to be hard.  _ Hopefully he doesn’t think less of me and want to leave now _ .

“Extra hands are paid well, Cas. And a good turn for the guild is sure to be repaid. Why don’t you go pray?” She was proud of herself for that deflection. “I am sure that you have a lot on your mind, right now. You don’t need to hear the details of this conversation with my old guildmaster-”

“-and lover,” Brynjolf added, teasingly. 

She visibly deflated and closed her eyes at that addition. “Yeah. And that.” She let out a deep breath. “Mara’s Temple is right over there.” She rounded on Bishop, who was still looking at her like a proud parent, if upset that he thought Bryn had been her first lover. “Make yourself scarce, Bishop. Sell some of the extra supplies. I will meet you at The Ragged Flagon. I am sure you know the way.” She pushed her pack on him as she was talking to him.  _ I hope he knows what to sell and what not to. Too late to try and tell him now. _ With just those few words she had dismissed her companions and didn’t pay them any more attention. 

She turned back to Brynjolf to see that he still had that look on his face that only ever meant trouble before. And not just us getting caught by the guards, or wrapped up in another scam either. “So, what’s the job, Bryn? Who is the mark?”

~~~

_ She was a member of the Thieves’ Guild? How could I have never seen her before? _ The Flagon had been one of Bishop’s favorite places when he was in Riften. Certainly he would have remembered a beautiful face like hers wandering around that place, even if it was not her face that he was looking at while visiting. Before Hildr, he had never been one for keeping women around once he had his way with them. He never wanted to be tied down or have a family. He was a ranger. He preferred to sleep under the stars.  And that was not a life well suited for many women, and certainly not for children.

He went about selling the extra supplies by rote, not paying attention to the prices, just glad to lighten the load, and get enough for him to enjoy his time in The Flagon again. The blacksmith bought all of the weapons and armor that he could afford. Bishop sold most of the rest of the goods she had given him at The Pawned Prawn. A quick scowl was all it took to get Raven to leave him alone, and let Bishop go about his business.  _ That little punk always followed Brynjolf around like a lost little puppy. And when I would visit the guild to fence some stuff, he would follow me around instead, as if he was doing Dirge’s job _ .

A thought hit him as he wandered through Riften. He had heard of a horse thief, the Red Minx they had been called, from time to time when he was at The Flagon, but nobody had ever claimed the title that he had heard.  _ I should have insisted on being introduced. _ The stories in The Flagon never mentioned so much as even a partial description of who the thief was.  _ Could it have been her? _ He would have to ask if he got a chance, not that it would make too much of a difference now. 

He crept through the tunnel, the Ratway, that led to The Ragged Flagon.  _ She may have been there all along, and I never knew it. What fun we might have had, Princess, If I had known you were right under my nose, and it didn’t take you running from an attack at Helgen for us to meet. _ He shook his head and laughed at himself as he looted the corpses of the men who had tried to block his way.  _ Some things just never do change around here do they?  _

~~~~~

Casavir went to the temple as his lady had suggested. He didn’t realise how great of a blow it had been to him, learning that she had been a member of the Thieves Guild.  _ But she had stolen from her guildmaster to get away. And he was her lover. _ The thought stung him like a slap.  _ That was what the red-haired man, Brynjolf, had called her in front of the both of us. Even Bishop had seemed surprised at that revelation. But she is a beautiful woman, Dibella’s most perfect creation. She had probably had her pick of any man that she had ever wanted. And she cares for me, hopefully as much as I care for her, even if I cannot be her lover. Not right now anyway. Not yet _ . That last was the reason that he was here in the Temple of Mara. 

Praying to the goddess of home, hearth, and love had to be worth something right now. He had so much to sort out, especially now with all of the additional information he had just learned in the market.  _ Did it change anything? No. I still care for her. _ He still thought she was beautiful, and she is not the woman she was when she was living here as a thief. _ If there was any chance that I could be hers, I would do whatever was needed. _ If he was being honest he thought her more beautiful than Dibella, and she could have been Dibella made flesh. _ May Molag Bol himself take my soul if it isn’t true _ . 

He lost track of time for how long he sat there, straight backed in his plate and mail. It could not have been that long before Hildr walked into the temple as well. She walked to the front, and he heard a few septims fall into the offering plate at the shrine before she came to sit at the other end of the bench he was on in the back of the temple. 

“I am sure that you have some questions right now.” She sounded quiet and unsure of herself. Small almost, like she wanted to shrink out of his sight. Her eyes were focused on the statue of Mara at the front of the temple, as if she were praying for the strength to continue right then. 

He turned a flat stare on her, waiting for her to elaborate. _I may not want to be stoic right now, but I am curious to see how she would react if I appeared indifferent to her. Not that I am. I could never be indifferent to her. Never again._

“Well, honesty is the best policy.” She let out a deep breath before turning to him. “Yes, I used Brynjolf. I robbed him when I was done fucking him. I ran away and used the money to lead a better life, a more honorable one. I bought Breezehome with the money that I had, and joined the Companions. I hadn’t been back to Riften since I left. And I had curbed myself towards celibacy after what I did to Bryn. Until Bishop anyway, but he is a long fall from a guildmaster.” 

She leaned her head back over the backrest of the bench, and sighed. Casavir let the silence drag on for a little while, unwilling to say anything right then. She had admitted the darkest part of her past to him, and it did not change his feelings for her at all.  _ What can I say that would console her or let her know that I understand? Or even that it doesn't matter to me who she was, only who she is now.  _

“I have given up robbing my lovers if nothing else. So you don’t have to worry.” She turned a crimson red and sat up as soon as she said it. “I...I mean…” she stammered trying to recover. 

“I am sure that Bishop will be happy to hear it at least.” Casavir responded with a small playful grin. _ I am still in a temple after all.  _ He also had an arm over the back of the bench, and scratched her neck playfully, trying to console her.

Hildr returned his playful grin and slid down the bench towards him, sitting pressed against his side. He rubbed his thumb against her arm. “You are still free if you would ever want to go, Casi. I mean it. I won’t make you stay if you don’t wish to stay with me.” She squeezed his knee. 

“I know, my lady. I wish to stay, as long as you would want me to be your companion.” For a wonder he wasn’t blushing.  _ I don’t know if my heart could take it if I left, my lady. _ He hoped that Hildr thought that there was some deeper meaning to his statement. He was determined to be whatever companion he could be for her.

“Well, Bryn is waiting for us. Unless you have a past life of crime with the guild that you haven’t told any of us about, I will need to let you in.” She offered her hand to pull him to his feet. Mercifully, he took her hand this time, and she laced her fingers through his, not letting go of his hand until they were at the entrance to the Cistern. 

She may have had a fair number or lovers before, but this was one of the first times in her life that she thought she may be in love with someone. Being in the temple of Mara probably stacked the odds in Casavir’s favor, but there was no helping that now. She squeezed his hand a few times, and felt her heart hammer in her chest when he squeezed her hand in return. She endeavored to squeeze a pattern next time to see if he would return the pattern to her. 

She looked around to make sure that they were alone. “Cas, can you close your eyes for a minute? I will tell you when to open them.” He closed his eyes obediently, without any protest. _ Gods he is perfect, so willing to listen and obey without complaint _ . The diffused sunlight glittered across the tawny skin of his face. His raven black hair seemed to drink up the light. He had a serene look on his face, as if this was all that he would want to do right now, here, with her. She quickly pressed the button to open the secret entrance to the Cistern, and turned back to look at him again. He had cocked an eyebrow when he heard the scrape of the stone opening, but didn’t open his eyes.  _ Just one little kiss won’t hurt right? That couldn’t possibly be enough to tempt him from his vows. _ She planted a quick kiss by his ear as she grabbed his hand again. “Alright, you can open your eyes. Hurry.” 

Once they were at the bottom of the few stairs, she pulled the chain, and the stone slid back into place. She felt Casavir move closer to her in the dark.  _ He is so close, and there is no one else here. It would be so easy to just… No.  _

“My lady, are you sure this is safe?” His apprehension was palpable.  _ He will do whatever he needs to to protect me, but he is worried about me all the same _ . 

“As safe as any reunion can be with an ex-lover and his best friends.” She was nervous, and tried to keep it out of her voice. “At least I only stole from Bryn when I left. And none of them are really good friends with the Dark Brotherhood, besides Delvin. Not that I know anyway.” She felt him tense at the mention of the assassins, and an arm went around her waist. _ That was probably too casual of a mention of the Dark Brotherhood and too close of an implication that they may have friends here. _

“I will protect you, my lady. My sword is yours to command.” He swallowed hard, and put his other hand on her hip, turning her slightly in the dark. “Just please do not put yourself in too much danger. If anything…” He trailed off, apparently unable to accept the idea of what he would do if she were hurt. “...Please.”

She ran a hand up his arm and onto his shoulder. “Your sword is the only protection that I need or want, Casi.” She could feel that comment make him swell with pride. If his armor would have allowed him to slump slightly, she would have sworn that he stood straighter now. She even felt his fingers curl slightly against her back, as he pulled her a half step closer to himself. “Just stay close to me while we are in the Cistern, or the Flagon. They don’t always take too kindly to strangers, but being with me should keep you safe.” Hildr bent and kissed his breastplate, over where his heart was most likely hammering away, before leading him to the trapdoor, and starting down the ladder. 

She led Casavir quickly across the center of the Cistern, not stopping for any jeers from her old guildmates. She could feel all of their eyes on her as she strode through the Cistern like she owned the place and went into The Flagon. Some part of her was surprised to not see Brynjolf down here yet. _ He left the market before I did. I didn’t think he went back to his house. Did he think I would come back to the guild or that I would leave everything, even these two, behind for his arms and his bed again? Well, he doesn’t know that I am the Dragonborn, and I am in no hurry to tell him either.  _

She relaxed a hair when she crossed into the bar of the Ragged Flagon. Bishop was there, just as she had anticipated, and it looked like he wasn’t on his first round either. She was surprised to see him chatting away happily with Thrynn, but given their shared pasts as bandits, it stood to reason. Vex was the one that she had really not expected to be there with Bishop.

Vex was doing her best to get Bishop’s attention. She had braced herself by her elbows against the bar, and was leaning to make the most of her almost non-existent curves in her guild armor.  _ She would have been the woman that he had picked in all of the guild. _ Vex was the third in command down here, and had just about every other member of the guild wrapped around her finger if she had wanted it. 

Hildr remembered more than one run in with Vex. Vex had accused Hildr of poaching members of the guild for her own fun. Nothing could have been further from the truth. If men were more interested in Hildr, how was that her fault? The only man she had been interested in while she was a guild member was Brynjolf. Her other lovers were only as she needed them, or as jobs required. 

Vex also was the one that gave the nickname to her exploits. The Red Minx, Vex had called her, a bad play on The Grey Fox. The other woman had meant for it to get under her skin, but it was an apt description for how she was known to operate. It also made it safe to use another name while she took on the role of a simple prostitute.  _ Sapphire was always the one with the more crude names for me, even if they never got under my skin either.  _

Hildr dropped Casavir’s hand, leaving him near the doorway, and slid up behind Bishop at the bar, running her hands down from his shoulders to his hips. “Hey handsome. What is a good looking ranger like you doing in a place like this.” She nipped at his ear. “We have work to do, let’s go.” She was sure to be laying it on thick in front of Vex. 

Bishop leaned back into her, and ran his hand down her thigh. “Alright ladyship, if you insist. Lead the way.” He clapped Thrynn on the back as he got up. 

He kissed Hildr’s shoulder as he stood up behind her to follow. Vex looked annoyed at the open affection between the two, almost as if it were a slap in the face to her personally. If Vex had wanted to turn to Casavir and toy with him in retaliation, his longing and almost jealous gaze at Hildr and her little display of affection for Bishop would have been enough to dissuade her of that. 

“Let’s go. Bryn said we should head down this way to find Esbern. Bishop, you take the lead, I will follow you. Cas, I want you to take up the rear.” She saw the hurt look on Casavir’s face, and she cupped his cheek. “You are the best healer of the three of us. When Bishop does something stupid and gets hurt, I will need you to heal him… If he asks nicely of course.” She rubbed her thumb over Casavir’s clean shaven cheek a few times, until he gave her a nod and a weak smile in acceptance. Bishop still had a cross look on his face when Hildr turned back to him. “What? If you don’t want to be used as an example, don’t act like one.”

They had only taken a few steps into the Ratway Warrens before they were set upon by the Thalmor.  _ It only made sense that they were there ahead of them. They had a dossier on Esbern already, and Delphine had said that they may run into the Thalmor at some point. But did it have to be this soon? _

Bishop circled them first, and sheltered in a niche in the wall as he feathered them with arrows. Hildr charged in with her sword, finishing off one of the soldiers as Bishop took care of the other. She didn’t see the Thalmor wizard approach her, and after a bolt of lightning was shot at her, she fell into a boneless heap in the refuse on the floor. Casavir finished the wizard off with Bishop’s help. He dropped to his knees then and cradled Hildr in his arms. She smelled like whatever the refuse was down there, and burnt flesh. Her whole arm was covered in scars where the lightning had hit her. She did not even smell like the sweat of battle. He cast a series of powerful healing spells on her, crying into her short hair all the while.  _ Not my lady. She cannot be gone. Not now. I need her. _

He felt Bishop’s hand on his shoulder. “Let her go, Casavir.” 

“No. Never.” Casavir tightened his grasp on his lady. He felt tears start to slip from his eyes and into her shortened red hair.  _ This couldn’t be how her story ended. She was the Dragonborn. The world needs her. I need her. _

Bishop sighed loudly, as if he was annoyed that Casavir would be mourning her here, where she had fallen. “Well, she is going to need to breathe pretty soon there, Paladin. It will be easier if you let go of her so that she can.” Bishop said it with an even tone, and Casavir almost dropped Hildr as he loosened his hold on her in his shock, realizing only now that she was moving in his grasp. She panted trying to get her breath back. He was so glad that she was okay that he could have kissed her even with Bishop watching as he was.

“Thanks, Cas. Looks like you saved me again.” She rubbed his cheek again and slowly rose. “We need to get Esbern. Hopefully that was all of the Thalmor down here.” 

She got unsteadily to her feet, using Casavir to brace herself, and he steadied her as she got to her feet in turn. Bishop led the way with Hildr at his side as they took off through the Warrens again. They were on the door to Esbern’s room in no time, thankfully with no other Thalmor in their way. Only some of the other denizens were making noise, taunting the three of them as they slunk through the halls.

Hildr had to knock on his door and explain who they were and why they were there before Esbern would even agree to let them in to talk to him.  _ Delphine was right, talk about paranoid _ . Hildr heard at least a dozen locks turning, in addition to several lock chains moving, and a door bar or two before the door opened to admit them. That was only after an almost endless series of questions, as if the questions would weed out any Thalmor spies. Esbern ushered the three of them quickly into the room. 

Casavir pushed the furthest in, and kept out of the way of the door. He was chewing slowly on something from his pack.  _ His magicka must be low after healing me like that _ . She ran a hand over her arm where the lightning had hit her.  _ Not even a scar. He is such an asset to the group. I will have to thank him properly for this later. Once he is no longer exhausted, and he relaxes a bit. He had cried over me after he healed me as if I were already dead _ . 

Bishop, in an effort to humor Esbern, took up a position by the door, an arrow knocked in his bow. He gave her a small shrug when she caught his eye. 

“You… Dragonborn? Is it really true?”

“Yes. Delphine seemed to think it was important.” C _ asavir is probably eating so that he won’t announce who I was immediately. At least he is learning.  _

“Important? Far more than even she realizes! If you are Dragonborn, then…Then… there is hope after all. For so long, all I could do was watch our doom approach, helplessly.” Esbern’s demeanor towards her changed almost in a heartbeat. He had gone from suspicious to elated that she would be there so quickly she thought her head would spin. 

“Doom? You mean the return of the dragons?” Hildr was confused. _ Yes the dragons were a problem, but they still could be dealt with in due time.  _

“Dragons? They can be killed. The Blades killed many in their early days as dragon-slayers. No, the dragons are merely the final portent of the End of Days.” _ The What!? Oh Fuck me.  _

“You’re talking about… the literal end of the world?” Bishop sounded incredulous from his spot by the doorway. Casavir swallowed loudly behind her. 

“Oh, yes! The prophecies make clear the signs that will precede the end times. One by one, I have seen them fulfilled.” Hildr did not like how calm this man sounded about all of this. “Alduin has returned, just like the prophecy said. The Dragon from the dawn of time, who devours the souls of the dead! No one can escape his hunger, here or in the afterlife! Alduin will devour all things and the world will end. Nothing can stop him!” 

Hildr jumped when she felt Casavir’s hands on her biceps, and was going to reprimand him for scaring her when she realized that he had not moved since Esbern started talking. She had moved away from him and backed into Casavir.

“Not all hope is lost, Esbern.” Casavir spoke over her shoulder. “She is the Dragonborn. I have seen it.” She felt him squeeze her arms protectively, and she pulled his arms tighter around her. He froze for an instant before giving in and holding her tighter in his arms.

“You’re right, I forget myself. I’ve lived without hope for so long… Take me to Delphine, we have much to discuss.” Esbern hurried over to a trunk by his bed and pulled on his armor. 

After he was ready, Hildr placed a hand on his arm. “Esbern, if there is anything extra that you would want to bring with you, you can. I bought a pack for you just in case, and we can sell whatever valuables you don’t need. A few extra coins would be appreciated if it means a soft bed and a hot meal at night.” Esbern nodded and filled the pack she handed him with essentials. He gathered up other valuable items, books mostly, and what he was willing to sell he split between the two men. 

“Cas, sell what you can at the Pawned Prawn. Bishop, sell your stuff at The Flagon. We will meet you out at the wagon in the stables.” She rounded on the older man waiting with her. “We just need to make it to the stables, and we should be safe. Do you need any help with anything?” Both of her companions quickly left after they were given their items to sell. Esbern shook his head, dismissing the idea of needing any other help, and took her arm. It seemed that he was interested in playing an act of an elderly father and his grown daughter, leaning on her for help and support as they walked along.

_ It seemed that the nine Divines were merciful _ . Hildr and Esbern made the walk the whole way to the cart without any incident, not even a conversation from the guards slowed them down.  Raven was nowhere to be seen, thank every one of the gods and the daedra too.  _ That man, well boy really, had tried a few times to sway me from Bryn. The fool boy _ . It had to be one of the most relaxing walks from the small graveyard that served as the exit from the Cistern in her entire memory of the guild.  _ Maybe it is peaceful because it may be the last? _ If not for Esbern, chatting away in his almost cheerful tone the whole way about things that sounded far too fatalistic to her, Hildr may have even enjoyed the walk. Thankfully she was able to get him settled in the wagon with little conversation, and she was able to climb into the driver’s seat and wait in peace and quiet. She did not have to wait too long. 

Casavir was the next to join them, easily climbing into Justice’s saddle and walking his stallion over to Hildr so he could more easily talk to her. Calm and unflappable as ever, he gave the coin that he had gotten to Esbern. It was his books that were sold after all, so he should get the coin for them. 

Bishop finally arrived, looking for all the world like his lower lip had been cut or bitten.  _ Vex, probably trying to get his attention. I am glad to see that it failed. _ He jumped into the wagon, and scrambled up to a spot directly behind her. He kissed her cheek, and she felt the warmth of a small trickle of his blood that he left behind run down her cheek. “May not hurt to hurry, Princess.” 

“Now what did you do, Bishop? You know what, no, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.” Hildr snapped the reins to get Mist and Kara moving, and hurried them along as they reached the road leading out of Riften. She didn’t care which direction they were headed at first, she just wanted to get as far as she could from RIften before whatever Bishop did caught up with them. Casavir stayed riding behind the wagon to dissuade or intercept anyone who would try to follow them. 

“That should do it, Princess. Unless they sent Vipir out after us, we should be far in the clear.” Bishop laughed. He knew the story of how the man had gotten his nickname, most of the members of the guild had been willing to tell anyone who asked. Hildr drew rein, slowing the cart and letting Casavir catch up with them. His steel armor seemed to cast a golden aura all around him as he rode up to them. 

“Care to tell us what that was about?” Hildr rounded on him as she tied off the reins. The horses continued as they had, still plotting along down the road through the constant thick Autumn all around them. 

“Nothing that we couldn’t have handled, Princess. Brynjolf was only a little upset that you didn’t say goodbye again. I didn’t like the implication that it would be a pattern from you.” He gave her a devious grin, only slightly undercut by his bloodied lip. He winced as it started to bleed again. “Sapphire says hello, as you can tell. Always the softie that one. And Vex tried to talk me into staying and joining the guild again.” The look he gave her spoke volumes. He would not leave her side for anything or anyone. 

Bishop leaned closer and lowered his voice so that only she would be able to hear him. “You should have told me that you were the Red Minx, Princess.” He ran a finger up her neck to make her shiver. 


	24. Alduin’s Wall

Delphine was there with only a tight look for them when they returned. If Hildr didn’t know better she would have thought that the look was because Bishop had just spit on her floors, but the look was more likely something to do with all four of them standing in the doorway to her inn. Hildr nudged Esbern forward.  _ Surely if Delphine is mad she won’t take it out on her friend, right? _

“It’s good to see you, Esbern. It’s been too long, old friend. Too long.” Her eyes took in the rest of them standing there in her inn just then. “Well, then. You made it, safe and sound. Good. Come on, I have a place we can talk.” For a miracle it seemed that all of them would be joining in the conversation in the small basement there in the inn. 

Hildr kept a firm hand on Bishop as they came closer to the bar. “You treat Orgnar like a long lost lover, Bishop. Should I be worried?” She used her most seductive tones, not that she was trying to imply anything, just make him think about his actions.

“Orgnar never denied me something I was willing to pay for, ladyship.” He grabbed her ass and pinched, content that Casavir would not have missed that, or the small squeal she let out. 

Delphine motioned them all into her room, the room that Hildr had shared with Casavir the last time they stayed the night in Riverwood. Hildr caught a blush climbing on his cheeks as the memory must have come back to him too. A rosy blush was rising in her own cheeks as well. Casavir closed the door to the rest of the inn as Hildr opened the closet and the false back, leading the group down the stairs. 

Hildr and Bishop ended up on one side of the large table down there, Esbern on the other as they waited for Casavir and Delphine. Hildr had her hands on the table in front of her, looking at a large map of all of Skyrim. Bishop was leaning against the table, acting indifferent to everything happening around him, and watching the wall instead. If she knew the man, he was actually wound like a spring no matter how relaxed he looked. Esbern was looking around the room, what may have been the last vestige of the Blades as an organization if he and Delphine were all that was left. Casavir came down the stairs and leisurely strode to Hildr’s other side looking ready to follow wherever she would choose to lead them. 

Delphine broke the silence as soon as she was at the bottom of the stairs. “Well then. I assume you know about…”

“He knows as much as he needs to.” Bishop answered over his shoulder, still not changing his stance. 

“Patience. Give me a moment and I will explain everything.” Esbern sounded more composed and ready than his absent observation of his surrounding implied. 

“Esbern. What…?” Delphine sounded confused at how her old companion was acting. 

“This changes everything of course. There is no time to lose. We must locate… let me show you. I know I had it here somewhere…” Esbern searched through the pack that Hildr had given him in Riften, and produced a thick volume with Annuals of the Dragon Guard written in large golden letters on the cover and spine. He flipped the book open to a spread with a map on one page. Hildr leaned closer over the table towards it, and saw a gauntleted fist to show that Casavir had leaned in as well. “You see right here. Sky Haven Temple, constructed around one of the main Akaviri military camps in the Reach, during their conquest of Skyrim.”

“Do you know what he is talking about, my lady?” The words were warm in her ear. He was leaning a lot closer than she had though he was.  _ If he were just a little closer… no. I can’t be distracted like that. Not here. Not right now. There are more important things to do right now _ . 

“Shh! This is where they built Alduin’s Wall to set down in stone all their accumulated dragonlore. A hedge against the forgetfulness of centuries.” Esbern had taken on a lecturing tone, surprised that none of them in the room with him had any idea what he was talking about. 

Bishop scoffed beside her, and she had to fight the urge to poke him in the ribs for that. Reprimanding him in front of Esbern wouldn’t work, not with Esbern scolding any of them for making any noise. 

“A wise and foresighted policy, in the event.” The glare that Esbern shot at the back of Bishop’s head made her feel like she may not be alone in that desire. “Despite the far-reaching fame of Alduin’s Wall at the time - one of the wonders of the ancient world - it’s location was lost.”

“Esbern, what are you getting at?” Delphine was starting to sound as frustrated with her old friend as the rest of them were right then. 

He turned a startled look on her. “You mean… You don’t mean to say you haven’t heard of Alduin’s Wall? None of you?” He looked around to all of them shaking their heads. 

“Let’s pretend that we haven’t.” Delphine decided to be the most tactful, and found the best way to have Esbern explain it for everyone. “What’s Alduin’s Wall and what does it have to do with stopping the dragons?”

“Alduin’s Wall… one of the lost secrets of the Blades. Where they recorded all that they knew of Alduin and his return. Part history, part prophecy. It’s location has been lost for centuries. Or well, it was lost but I’ve found it. Well, maybe not lost per se, just forgotten. The Blades archives held so many secrets… I was only able to save a few scraps…” Esbern’s lecturing tone was only slightly better than the even tone he used for fatalistic topics. 

“So you think that Alduin’s Wall will tell us how to defeat Alduin?” Casavir sounded like he was mulling things over and weighing options. 

“Well yes, but there is no guarantee of course.” Esbern sounded reluctant to admit that it may not work. 

“It sounds like the best lead that we have so far.” Hildr settled back to her original position at the table, pressing gently against Casavir. Bishop scoffed again next to her, but she ignored him this time. “So… shall we?”

Delphine shot a weighing look over all of them. “Shall we set off together, or would you rather meet us there? It is your choice, Dragonborn.”

“I think we should go together.” She heard Bishop groan. “There is safety in numbers on the road these days, and we would all make better time riding. Bishop can ride behind me, on my mare, and you and Esbern can ride Kara.” She thought she saw Bishop’s head turn out of the corner of her eye, as well as his eyebrow arch.  _ It figures that he would be interested in them agreeing to those conditions. He enjoyed riding with me again that morning after my night with Casavir, even if he mostly slept behind me _ . 

Casavir nodded beside her, apparently impressed at how well she had handled the situation and how well thought out her plans were. She had a mind for strategy, as well as a comfort with command now. Apparently she had picked up more than she had realized while she was reading through the notes of commanders and nobles as they slept. No matter how she had come about it, she was grateful for it right now. 

A nod from Delphine that she accepted the arrangement was all that was needed to start the group to move around the room and collect what they would need. Delphine stopped and grabbed a sword from the wall before turning back to present it to Hildr. “Dragonborn. I want you to have this. It is a Blades sword. I prefer my own steel, and I hope that it serves you better than it has served me down here collecting dust.” Delphine held the sword and scabbard out horizontally in front of her, and bowed her head slightly as she extended the sword to Hildr. 

Hesitantly Hildr reached out to take it. She had done pretty well so far with her own sword, but if the woman was willing to offer her another one that she did not have to do anything extra to earn, we would gladly take it. Hildr grasped the hilt with one hand, and the scabbard with her other and slowly took the sword from Delphine. She tied it onto her sword belt to balance the other sword, at least until she got to Mist. “Thank you, Delphine. I hope that I am able to wield it honorably.” She bowed in return. Bishop was looking at her questioningly and almost scornfully, but Casavir looked proud of her. Apparently she had handled that well enough for him to approve of it. “Shall we?” Hildr motioned up the stairs behind Delphine, and let Delphine and Esbern lead the way out to the road. 

Bishop bumped into Hildr’s shoulder as he edged around the table at her.  _ Maybe I will make him walk to Karthspire after all if he wants to act like that. Or ride behind Casavir instead. That would show Bishop _ . She shook her head ruefully. Casavir was watching Bishop ascend the stairs, frowning after him, no doubt because of how he had just behaved. Hildr looped her pinky around Casavir’s index finger, and his eyebrows shot up in wonder. Apparently he was not expecting her to still be there or to pull him along behind her. He quickly blushed and followed her back up the stairs and into the room they had once shared. 

“Orgnar, this is it. The inn is yours.” Delphine was standing across the bar from him. “I’m probably never coming back here.” There was a heaviness in her voice. Hildr guessed Delphine was battling with the idea that it was most likely that she would never see him again, and all of the happy memories seemed to come flooding back at once. 

“Well, now. That’s something to think about.” Orgnar was doing his best to keep his voice even and calm. This must be just as hard for him to accept. As far as Hildr knew, they had been keeping up an act of being a married couple for such a long time that they were married as far as anyone knew. 

“Take care of yourself, Orgnar. Goodbye.” Delphine was turning and walking away quickly, not sparing another moment for this man she had been treating as a husband for such a long time. 

“Yeah… sure. You, too, Delphine. You be safe.” Orgnar was speaking to Delphine’s back as she walked away from him. Hildr recognized the pain in Orgnar’s voice, and squeezed Casavir’s hand. She hadn’t realized she was still holding on to him, but was grateful that Casavir returned her squeeze. Bishop would probably be comforting Orgnar if not for their need to keep moving.  _ Or commiserating _ . That realization hurt. 

They quickly mounted the three horses as Hildr had suggested and took off towards Markarth. As she had guessed, Bishop was happy to be behind her in the saddle again, and was doing his best to make sure that everyone knew how much he enjoyed his spot there. They left the cart with Ralof’s sister, who ran the mill, at Casavir’s suggestion. Bishop whistled for Karnwyr to come back and join them as they left. The wolf obediently followed after his master as they rode.

The ride out of Riverwood and towards Falkreath was an easy one, and they made good time, arranged as they were between the three horses. Casavir volunteered to scout for the party, since Justice was used to his weight and would not balk at the faster speed required. It would also give Hildr more time to talk with the two members of the Blades, and get a slightly better idea from Esbern as to what they faced ahead. 

Casavir riding ahead would also give Hildr and Bishop some measure of privacy as Bishop started to paw her again as he rode behind her on Mist. _ I forgot how much I used to enjoy this once upon a time _ . Bishop’s hands happily roamed over her hips and thighs as they rode. It was a welcome change from riding alone, even if it would not be a long term arrangement.  _ If only Casavir had not looked so upset when Bishop had climbed up behind me _ .

The ride out of Riverwood was an easy one, and it reminded her of that first walk out of the town with both Bishop and Casavir.  _ Hopefully we will make it further without any dragons interrupting us. With any luck we may be able to get the whole way to Sky Haven Temple without any incident at all.  _ Bishop must have sensed her mood, and was running his hands up and down her belly, and getting dangerously close to her breast with two other riders nearby.  _ Not that I am going to dissuade him from this. It will make it easier to tell him what might have happened if he is still this interested in being close to me. _

They passed a few hours riding in silence as they left Riverwood moving swiftly along the road to Falkreath. Casavir rode in front as the scout for the whole trip, as Hildr and Bishop rode side by side with Delphine and Esbern. As luck would have it, they made it the whole way to Falkreath without any incident. 

_ By all nine divines, not again. _

The sound of flapping leathery wings was becoming all too common, and filled the three of them with dread. They sprang from their horses ran into the streets, weapons readied, and they marshalled what guards they had found. Bishop was organizing the men with bows, getting them all into the places that they should be so that they can aim at the dragon no matter where the dragon should land. Bishop was not comfortable giving orders to the guards. He had always fought his own battles and never had to convince anyone else to stay and fight.  He had never really cared for guards, in any hold. _ Probably because they never cared for me either. _ He was no commander, but was happy that Casavir saw the right of it, and listened as well, responding as if he was being ordered by Bishop as well. Bishop was the better archer of the two of them. 

Casavir took charge of the guards with swords, and fought by his lady’s side in the street. Delphine was leading another contingent of soldiers with swords, and they were attacking from the dragon’s other side when it landed. Hildr would shout at the dragon when it looked like it was getting ready to take off again, stalling it so that their merry group in the street could continue to attack. Esbern had run up onto a balcony of one of the homes, and was casting spells at the dragon as well to stop or at least hinder it from taking off again. 

In a coordinated effort, they made remarkably quick work of the dragon. Hildr leaned into the skeleton of the dragon, since she landed the killing blow up under the dragon’s wing. Bishop made it to Hildr first, trying to make it look like he was holding her up off her feet as he kissed her, before holding her in his arms in relief that she was alright. This would not be the place to make it known that the Dragonborn had this affliction after each fight. Casavir had the same idea apparently, as he helped to get more of the soldiers to disperse before coming over to take her away to rest. Bishop gave her one last kiss before he handed her over to Casavir to take in a bridal hold. 

“Is it getting any better at least?” The question came from behind him, and Bishop turned from where he was watching Casavir carry Hildr off and away from the dragon’s skeleton to see a nervous Delphine. She was not comfortable asking about the state of the Dragonborn. 

“Yes. But it is still hard to wait, not knowing. Not having her here.” Bishop had figured that Delphine would be more comfortable talking to him. He had known her for some time before he joined up with the Dragonborn, back before even she knew who she was. And it is easier than trying to talk about her while she was unconscious in front of them. 

“We will meet you at Karthspire. Make haste once she is better.” With that Delphine handed Kara’s reins to Bishop and led Esbern away afoot, on towards their destination, even if the old man had wanted to stay and talk to the others. 

Bishop and Karnwyr walked back to where Casavir was setting up a small camp to wait out Hildr’s episode. Bishop was grateful that it was on the far side of town, outside of the walls closer to Riverwood than to Markarth. Bishop slipped under where Hildr was laying so that his lap would be her pillow. “Nice choice of campsite, but we shouldn’t be here too long.” Bishop gave Casavir a long look. “Thorn, a bandit and a real son of a bitch, is in the area. As soon as she is awake, we need to go.” He pulled her left hand onto her chest, and played with his ring on her finger as he stroked her cheek. 

Casavir nodded and looked away. He may be uncomfortable with Bishop being so forward and affectionate with Hildr while she was out like this, but she needed all of the protection that the two of them could give her right now. Casavir laid a hand on her thigh, looking at her closed eyes, as if he could will them back open if he prayed hard enough.  _ Come back to me, my lady. I would rather have you than my vows. _

“Would you care if I go to the inn for something for all of us to eat?” He did not move his eyes from her closed ones. She looked so peaceful, and if he did not know better he would think she was asleep. 

“Yes, I would care. I will not let Thorn take her. We can hunt when we are out of this hold.” Bishop’s anger was almost a physical thing that hit Casavir. 

“Very well. Do you want anything, Bishop?” He hefted his pack, looking at the other companion, Bishop was still fiddling nervously with the ring on Hildr’s finger. “She should be awake sooner than the last time. Her recoveries have been coming faster each time.” He could tell that Bishop was on edge, and he was desperately trying to do everything possible to de-escalate the situation. He did not want his lady to awake to them both tense, even if they never told her the reason for it. 

Her eyes fluttered, but she was not yet awake. Even if she did wake soon, Casavir remembered how weak she was when she first awoke on the way to Windhelm, as he held her in the saddle. 

“We could hold her in the saddle and ride out of Falkreath.” Bishop shot Casavir a weighing look. “We can hold her up in her saddle and on Mist. Walk beside her to keep her steady, and help keep her in the saddle. If Thorn is that big of a threat, it will keep us on the move. We can make camp later when we are in a different hold, and safer.” 

Bishop let out a defeated sigh. He hated when Casavir had good ideas, and this was certainly a good idea. “Fine. At least she won’t be riding with you.” Bishop looked down into her sleeping face, stroking her cheek again, and ran his thumb over the silver ring he had given her. “Come back to me, Princess. Come back to me.”

Casavir got up and prepared the three horses. In short order Mist and Justice were ready for their riders, and Kara was not long from it. Eventually, Casavir would teach Bishop how to ready his own horse so that he would not need someone to help him every time they stopped and made camp for the night, but he suspected that it was not lack of knowledge that was the reason he did not ready Kara himself. In truth, if Hildr would have been willing to help Casavir ready his stallion, he would have happily taken it, or if Justice, a trained warhorse, would have allowed anyone other than his rider that close.  _ Maybe once she is better I will get Justice to accept her as well.  _

Some small mercy was given to them that Hildr had worn her armor that day. She was much easier to get into the saddle that way. They each tied a leg to her stirrup to steady her in the saddle and keep her there. When they were happy that she would not fall to either side, they stepped back to make sure that she looked like she was awake. Casavir noticed that she was still mostly slumped forward. Taking the bedroll that he had wrapped her in, he rolled it and placed it in front of her across her lap. Resting her forearms on the bedroll made it look like she was leaning forward and talking to them as they led her. It wasn’t perfect, but anything that they could do to make themselves look less like easy targets for bandits on the road would be worth the effort.

Bishop may not have thought that it was the best idea when he was looking at his ladyship perched up on the saddle, but it was too late for second thoughts now. He wished that he still had the hooded cloak that Delphine had given him while they waited for Hildr while she was in the Thalmor Embassy. It would have been perfect to cover her face and keep her from view. But this would have to do.  _ We will have to move quickly. _

They started through the town quickly enough. Most of the locals were too captivated by the dragon skeleton that was in the middle of the street to pay too much attention to a woman riding as well as two men leading their own horses. Once they had passed through Falkreath, Casavir and Bishop agreed to pass the reins to Hildr’s mare between the two of them, as well as lead their own mounts. They would both be right there with her this way. They could both keep an eye on her, and would both be able to help her when she finally woke up. Together they could keep her safe. Once they had traveled an hour out of Falkreath, Bishop began to relax.  _ We would have passed Thorn’s hideout by now anyway. He never did like to be that far from a town _ . 

“Why don’t you scout ahead, Bishop. It looks like it is going to rain, and we should find cover for the night. Besides, you can scout more quietly and faster without us or the horses.” Casavir blushed.  _ Bishop would be able to scout without me making noise in my armor _ . True, the horses were not the most quiet way to move, but it had been mostly himself that he had meant. Casavir had forced a stop so that Kara’s lead could be tied to Mist’s saddle. 

“Fine. Stick to the road, and I will catch back up with you.” Bishop whistled for Karnwyr and set off ahead. Bishop’s bow was already drawn and he was loping out of sight. 

Casavir was suddenly aware of just how alone he was after Bishop rounded a corner out of sight. All that he could hear was his own footsteps down the stone road, as well as the clatter of the horses’ hooves. He moved slowly in that humid green landscape. There was not really any other option for him. If he were to try and keep up with Bishop’s pace, he would be sweating and rusting under his heavy plate and mail. He would also not move that quickly as he would not risk disturbing his lady in her saddle.  _ I am not sure I would be able to live with myself if I was the reason anything happened to her. I still do not know how Bishop lives with himself after having put an arrow in her. Even if that arrow was meant for me. _ He felt his heart start hammering in his chest again.  _ She had stepped in front of Bishop’s arrow to protect me, and to make him stop antagonizing me. It was a foolish gesture, but brave and greatly appreciated. _ Casavir drew in a deep breath, savoring the musty smell of the forest around him, and the clean smell of oncoming rain. 

Casavir looked back over his shoulder to where Hildr was astride Mist.  _ My lady. I would have preferred to hold her in my arms again as I did on the ride to Windhelm, but there was no way that Bishop would have permitted that. This was the best I could have hoped for under the circumstances. Please, my lady, come back to me. _ He turned back to where he was going, and was determined to get her somewhere safe and dry for the night. A gentle misting rain began to fall not long after. It was a warm rain, but Casavir still shivered as it ran down his back and soaked his shirt. A gentle stirring noise roused him from his thoughts, and he smiled to hear that his lady had awoken. 

She felt herself swaying, a slow steady rocking movement, and gentle spray on her face.  _ A boat? When were we near the river? We were too far from the ocean the last I remember _ . She felt stiff and sore, as if she had been asleep for weeks, but too weak to stretch or move at all. She started with moving her fingers and toes slowly, probingly.  _ All still attached and working, and it feels like there is fur under my fingers. Good _ . She flexed the muscles in her legs, and was surprised to feel some resistance on either side of her thighs and calves.  _ Where am I? Who has me? _ Her stomach flipped.  _ Where are Cas and Bishop? I can’t hear them. Am I alone? Oh Mara, Stendarr, please don’t let me be alone _ .  _ Please don’t let Cas and Bishop be alone or in danger either _ . She rolled her shoulders, happy to not feel any resistance behind her. She was apparently not stuck in a dungeon, even if it smelled musty around her. Steeling herself for the worst, she opened her eyes. 

A beautiful lush green landscape greeted her. If the Rift was known for the rich shades of autumn it had year round, this hold must be known for the ripeness of summer. She was happy to see that she was astride Mist, and she patted the mare’s neck appreciatively. It was then that she looked down to see Casavir with Mist’s reins in one hand, and Justice’s reins in the other. She leaned down to tousle his perfectly coiffed hair when she felt that resistance against her legs again. “You tied me to my saddle?” 

“It seemed the best way to keep us moving. Delphine and Esbern went on ahead.” He turned back to look at her from where he led her mares and Justice. “Bishop wouldn’t let me hold you in my saddle, my lady.” There was a blush starting on his cheeks she could see, and she could feel one in her own as well. 

“I see… Would you help me untie myself? I think I should be able to ride if we do not go too fast.” She blushed a darker crimson as Casavir gave Justice’s reins a tug to stop him where he was before removing his gauntlets. 

He smiled up at her from her knee as if happy that he would be the one to assist her, as well as the one that she first awoke for, again. The rain had made the cord they had used to tie her in place thicker, and even with his gauntlets off he was having no luck with them. He made quick work of the ties once he chose to cut them instead of trying to untie them. Casavir cut the ties that held her one leg, and then passed her his dagger so that she could cut the other side. Her hand almost slipped when she felt his thumb rub the inside of her knee, and she was glad that she did not have to cut another tie. He had what would almost be a devious grin on his face when she handed him the dagger back. She leaned down close to him, almost close enough to kiss him if she would have wanted to.  _ What will he do? Will he lean into me in return? _ She could feel his breath on her face, and she gave him a quick kiss at the corner of his mouth when he didn’t make the first move. “Thank you, Casi. How will I ever be able to repay you for coming to my rescue so often?”  _ I know how I would like to repay you, but your vows are a very inconvenient barrier to that. _

Casavir started to blush, but turned away and was astride Justice before he could turn a deep crimson red.  _ Maybe he had the same thought I did? _

After a few minutes on the road, they caught up with Bishop. His mood had also apparently been soured by the rain, and not being there when she awoke again. He had found a suitable place for a campsite, and had already started to prepare it before he came back for them. 


	25. Taken in the Night

It was a cave this time. One with a shaded entrance, large enough for the three of them, Karnwyr, and the three horses. Firewood was already laid out against the side of one of the cave’s walls, and it would be easy enough to bank it so that a small, dim fire would keep them warm all night without attracting much if any attention from the road.

Hildr rolled out the furs as Casavir got to brushing out the horses. Casavir insisted on brushing out Kara, and only barely allowed her to curry Mist. Casavir was also keeping an eye on the meat that was roasting on a small fire that was already roaring. Bishop was crouched to one side at the entrance and kept watch at the mouth of the cave. Karnwyr was asleep beside him. 

Hildr joined him when she was done, sitting by his side, sharpening her ebony dagger. “Septim for your thoughts?” 

He sat and wrapped his arm around her in response, pulling her against his chest. “Nothing that I know how to say to your ladyship.”  _ Nothing that I think you would want to hear from my lips _ . 

“Why are we stopping here?” They were outside of the town, but they could not be that far away yet. When she and Casavir were riding it was a very slow walk that they kept the horses at. She slid her dagger back in the sheath at her hip.

“There is someone here in Falkreath that I don't want you to meet, Princess.”  _ That bastard. I will not let him touch her, or even look at her if I could help it _ . Bishop felt her press both of her hands on his chest before he realized that he had pulled her so close to him that she probably couldn’t breathe. He released her just enough so that she could nestle in comfortably beside him. Bishop cleared his throat and went on. “His name’s Thorn and he is nothing but a vicious son of a bitch that needs to be put down like the rabid dog he is.” Bishop looked down into her soft emerald green eyes, trying to think of the best way to tell her what Thorn would do if he managed to get his hands on her. “Let’s just say he’ll take you by force, if he can.”

“Bishop...” She rubbed a hand across his chest, trying to calm him. He was upset having to recount this to her, she could tell.

“Every time I hear his name mentioned it comes with another sad story of a wench being raped. Look, I was a bandit too, but he is somethin’ else. I never liked him. We were pretty much on opposite sides.” He took a deep breath, preparing to tell her the next part. “In fact, he still wants me dead.” He ran his fingers through her short hair.  _ If laying down my life would keep you safe, Princess, I would do it.  _

“You? A bandit?” She asked in mock surprise. 

“What? I, no, forget I said that. I don’t want to talk about it. Not now.” Bishop half turned his head as if to motion to where Casavir was still brushing out the horses. 

“He sounds positively charming. Shall I bring wine?”

“Joke as you like, but he’s a raping son of a bitch. He’s not just rough Ladyship, he’s sick. The things he’d do to you if he got his hands on you… No, that won’t happen. He’ll die before he gets the chance.” Bishop had to fight off the desire to wrap his arms around her and hold her as tight as possible. “He belongs in the pits of Oblivion for what he’s done. We’ll send him there after I’ve snapped every single bone in his body. I’ll mark his hovel on your map. Whether we avoid it or hunt him down on the way back through Falkreath is up to you. But I won’t lie that I’d like to see his head rolling.”

“ And you are sure it is safe to stay here for the night, Bishop?” She sounded anxious, almost as if she would have wanted him to hold her too close to him.  _ She would doubt my protection now? Well, given what I just told her about someone who has started a base out here, I guess that would stand to reason _ . 

“Safer than being out on the road in the dark. Riders with torches will draw attention to themselves. Here we will be able to stay out of sight, and we can defend ourselves.” He kissed the top of her head as he pulled her closer.  _ Here I can defend you better _ . 

The smell of roasted meat wafted over to them where they were sitting at the cave’s entrance. Casavir seemed almost able to work miracles with whatever Bishop was able to hunt. Everything always tasted delicious. “Come on, ladyship. Go get us something to eat.” Bishop had released her from his grasp and was rubbing his hand across her shoulders. 

Hildr got up and sauntered over to where Casavir was cooking. Hildr ran a finger around the back neckline of the breastplate that Casavir was still wearing. He shuddered slightly as he was still dishing up food for her and Bishop. Hildr chuckled at how good it was to pay Casavir back for earlier, and she kissed the back of his head as well. “Care to join us?” Hildr sauntered back to where Bishop was sitting and handed him his plate before nestling back against him. Casavir joined them after a moment, and sat on Hildr’s other side. Hildr felt safe and content sitting there between the two of them with Karnwyr at her feet as she ate. After she was done eating she curled up between the two of them, her back to Casavir, and her knees over Bishop’s knees. Bishop was happy to see that she was starting to fall asleep between them. It would make it easier to protect her if she was asleep and in one place. He rubbed her calves and ankles to encourage her to relax further. It hurt that she was leaning against Casavir while he did this for her, but he needed her to sleep. 

“Go to sleep Princess. I will wake you in the morning.” Bishop leaned over and kissed her shoulder. Too much more open affection would twist the paladin’s little halo into a knot. 

“You mean when it is my turn to keep watch.” Hildr sounded upset with the idea. 

“No.” They both said it, almost in unison. Bishop shot Casavir a look, but he would need the other man’s help to keep her safe. Casavir wrapped an arm back around Hildr’s shoulders and gently pulled her against him. She yawned against him. Today had taken a toll on her. Every dragon fight did if she was honest, and she was grateful that they had made camp for the night instead of pushing on to Sky HavenTemple. Casavir carried her over to where she had piled their furs and bedrolls. 

Casavir returned to Bishop’s side, giving her time to get ready for bed. “I can take the second watch. I am sure you would want time with her as well.” 

“Yeah.” Bishop sighed. “I will wake you up when it is your turn. Go.” Bishop turned back out to the woods to keep watch. 

Casavir walked back to where Hildr had made herself comfortable in the bed out of all of their furs and bedrolls. He quickly took off his armor and stripped off his still rain soaked shirt. “My lady? May I?” He hesitated and waited for her to open her arms to him and welcome him before he moved in under the furs next to her. Casavir held her close and whispered to her until she fell asleep in his arms. The feeling of her warm breath on his bare chest excited him more than he would have thought possible. Once she was asleep, he fell asleep with her, happy to have her in his arms again. 

Bishop started throwing small stones at Casavir to wake him and change shifts. Luckily he had good aim when shooting arrows with his bow as well as throwing things, and managed to only hit Casavir and not Hildr, even if they were holding each other.

“Casi… Don't…” But her words were downed out in the gentle rustle of his movements as he got up and went to keep watch.

Bishop waited until Casavir was awake and armored before he let the other man come over to take up the watch. They shared a moment of scanning the forest that they could both see to make sure that all was as it had been while Bishop watched. Casavir sat down on the furs that Bishop had just left, and refused to look back at where Bishop was certainly pawing at his lady.

Bishop came over and quickly nestled in next to Hildr in the furs. 

“Cas,” she murmured into his chest. 

“Guess again, Princess.” He whispered his response into her ear and kissed her as he pulled her under him. He kissed her neck and trailed his hands down to her hips, holding her tight. After a moment, Hildr rolled to face where Casavir went before falling asleep. Bishop sighed and curled up against her back, holding her tight against him and kissing her shoulder until she fell asleep in his arms as well. 

She had been afraid, no doubt from what Bishop had said about Thorn. Casavir did his best to calm her with just the touch that he could offer her. What touch she was certain to accept. He whispered sweet words to her, confirming his protection of her while she slept and he held her close. It felt so good to hold her like that. It always did. If only he had been able to do more than hold her right then. She had curled up against him to sleep, with her head on his chest and her arm around him as well. She had fallen asleep in his arms as he stroked her hair and her back. If he had known these feelings before he had taken his vows, he would never have agreed to them. He would have never sought out these conditions if he knew what kind of happiness he could have without them. Not that he would have met her, but without these vows he could have been anything that she would have wanted or needed him to be for her. 

Casavir was thankful that they had agreed that she would not be allowed to split the watch with either of them as she had on the way to High Hrothgar. Hopefully it would also not be like that night in Whiterun when Bishop had made sure Casavir heard Hildr say that she was Bishop’s. Thankfully, it would probably also not be how Bishop had acted in that cart after the Embassy, and even if it was, Casavir should be too far away to hear anything, even in the heavy silence of Falkreath. Again, Casavir thought about his desire to have Hildr moaning his name in ecstasy, or her falling asleep in his arms after she was spent.  _ My lady. My love. Hopefully one day soon you will be mine. _

~~~~~

Their pace was still slow and relaxed after they left Falkreath hold and they were in the Reach after their night in the cave. Casavir had even dismounted for a while to walk at her knee before she jumped down and joined him in the road as well. He had claimed it was only a desire to stretch his legs, but based on how he made sure to never stray too far from either her stirrup as she rode or her side while she walked as well, she figured it was just to be closer to her. The most startling part was when Bishop willingly went on ahead, riding Kara, with Karnwyr chasing after the mare, saying that he was going to go look for a good campsite again.  _ Could this all really be working out so well? It almost seems too perfect that they would get along like this. _

Casavir started picking flowers less discreetly this time for her. “Are there any flowers you would want, my lady?” He had an adoring gleam in his eyes again, Hildr saw. If she had told him then that she would only want rare flowers that grew only at the top of the Throat of the World, he would have climbed the mountain to get them for her. 

“Mountain Flowers. Blue and Purple if you can find them.”  _ You will look so handsome in a bridal wreath of blue and purple on your dark brows. Lavender would be too hard to weave, and I would not want you to scratch yourself for thistles. _ “And Tundra cotton? If you can find any here that is.”

Casavir smiled at her and bowed to her before he hurried off to pick the flowers she had requested. She took Justice’s reins as Casavir walked on to pick the flowers. He returned shortly with two fistfulls of mountain flowers for her. 

“Will you mix them together?” She traded Justice’s reins for some flowers, and swung up into her own saddle before Casavir did as well. She quickly began to weave a crown of flowers for him. She rode close enough to rub her knee against his from her saddle, as she braided the flowers together. She let Mist frisk a few steps away and tossed the flowers over to Casavir. He stood in his stirrups to make sure that he caught the crown with a laugh, and flashed her a winning smile.  _ By all Nine Divines he is perfect, and he looks so handsome as a groom. Blessed Dibella, Blessed Mara let him be mine _ . 

She blushed and took part of the other fistful of flowers.  _ Now for my own crown to match. Should I tell him what it means? No. He is too happy not knowing what it means, and I would not want him to think that I have made his decision for him.  _ She slowly wove a crown for herself, under Casavir’s watchful eye. She put the matching crown on and turned to face Casavir. 

_ Blessed Mara, she is the most beautiful woman in all of Nirn. Blessed Akatosh, if you could only allow me to turn back time that I might meet her without having these vows, I would give you anything that you would ask of me. _ Casavir blushed a deep crimson at just his thoughts, and handed her the rest of the flowers he had picked. Praying to Mara in Riften had only strengthened his resolve to be whatever she desired him to be. Anything, even her husband if she would want him. “You look stunning, my lady.”  _ I have found myself regretting my vows more and more by the day when I am with you _ . “As you always do.” He cleared his throat and looked away. He could feel himself blushing after he said that.

After a moment of awkward silence as she worked on another crown for Bishop, Casavir spoke again. “Do these crowns have any special meanings, my lady?”

“Well… they do. Often…”  _ Shit. How to tell him? _ She took a deep breath. “Often they are made for… weddings or betrothals.”  _ Well there is no going back now. _ “Brides and grooms wear matching garlands to show that they are committed to each other, that they are a couple in truth.”  _ Please don’t take off your crown and throw it to the ground now. My heart could not take it _ .

Casavir felt the heat rising in his cheeks as he blushed again.  _ She would want to deck me as a groom, and look like my bride? Could I really be so lucky that she would want me? She does not know who I am. She does not know that I am a monster, but still she would want to be seen as my bride _ . “Thank you, my lady.” He straightened it on his brow, and smiled at her again, even if he still was blushing. “How do I look?” He straightened in his saddle and squared his shoulders, not that he had slumped in his saddle before.  _ He looked at her, confused as to why she would be blushing at his preening for her. _

_ Unavailable. Handsome. Perfect. _ “Dashing.” She said it quietly into her lap, before looking over at him again. _ It isn’t even close to how you look, my knight, but it is all that I can give you right now. If only you were my groom in truth _ . She looked back down at the garland she was working on.  _ One for Bishop. Would he want it as well? Would he want to be seen as my groom as well? _

Bishop was riding back to them now, and giving them suspicious looks, or rather the flowers around their brows. “Bishop. I have something for you!” She held up the last garland that she had been working on, and moved to toss it on him as well. 

Bishop raised an eyebrow at her and stopped just out of range. “Do I look like the kind of sissy noble who would wear flowers, Princess?” 

Hildr flinched as if struck, but she looked away, still holding onto the flower crown. Casavir moved next to her and placed his hand on her thigh before he leaned closer to her from his saddle for the other crown. He glared at Bishop, annoyed that the other man had insulted her handiwork, especially if there was any chance he knew what the crowns meant. “May I have it as well then, my lady?” Casavir straightened and grinned after Hildr placed the second crown on his head, crossing the first. He placed a gentle kiss on the back of her hand in thanks.  _ If only there was more that I could do for her right now for this _ . He puffed out his chest, and placed his fists on his hips. “Does this make me twice the groom, my lady? Yours for at least two lifetimes?” _ I would gladly be yours for every lifetime, my lady _ . The annoyed and affronted look that Bishop shot Casavir only made Casavir more determined. _ So, Bishop didn’t know what the flowers meant. _ The grin that Casavir wore threatened to split his face completely in two. 

Hildr laughed at Casavir preening and his grinning like a fool for her. “If two of these crowns would be inappropriate, my lady, perhaps Justice could use one.” She laughed harder at the idea of one of the crowns going around Justice’s ears when Casavir mentioned it. 

“Even if it was, I think I would want you to have both of them, my Knight of the Flowers.” She gave him a teasing grin, but the way he looked right now, it suited him.  _ Maybe if he chooses me over his vows, he will be my Knight of the Flowers instead _ . 

Bishop scoffed at the two of them. _ Is he that annoyed at the two of us laughing and joking? He should not have scorned my offer for his crown of flowers then _ . Hildr ignored him and concentrated on Casavir riding at her side. 

Bishop felt bad after he realized how Hildr laughed and smiled at the stupid Paladin wearing the two crowns now.  _ Once we make it to the camp, I will go back out and pick my own flowers. I hope that she will make me one later if I ask.  _

Bishop returned to the spot he had shown them would be a good camp with a bouquet of red mountain flowers, as well as some dragon tongues. “Princess, would you still…?”

“I wondered how long it would take you to come around. Come here.” She tugged him down into the sweet grass behind her. She leaned into him as she worked on his garland while Karnwyr settled at her feet. She tossed it backwards onto his head when she was done with it. It may have landed askew, but it was still around his brows.  _ By the Nine Divines, he would make a dashing husband as well. No. He had said so many times before that he would not want that. Why should he change his mind now? I do not think even I could change his mind to talk him into marriage or a family. _ She turned and looked out after where Casavir had gone. _ I would have better luck talking Casavir into starting a family with me than I would convincing Bishop of the same _ . She clasped her hands over her lower abdomen and relaxed further into her ranger, her protector.  _ A few more days, then I will tell him.  _

~~~~~

As Casavir was out collecting firewood and kindling, he came across something that seemed incredibly out of place in the rough terrain of Skyrim. Here in a small valley surrounded by mountains stood a shrine to Dibella. He took a moment to survey his surroundings, and realized that it made sense for the goddess of love and beauty to have a shrine out here in the beautiful, pristine, and lush countryside.  _ Surely they will understand if I take a moment to pray. It will not take long _ . He laid the wood that he had collected by the road and walked to the shrine. 

“Blessed Dibella, forgive me. What am I doing? I know that love and these emotions are right and good. I just… I can’t give in to her and hurt her. Not with all that has happened. I will not let myself go through that again. I do not want that to happen to her. I would never forgive myself for hurting her like that. I love her too much to hurt her. She is too beautiful for those kinds of scars.” He sighed, adjusting the two crowns of flowers that he still wore. “Would Hildr ever forgive me for that? Could she? She had said that she would not pry into my past… No. I will let her use me as she wants, however she wants. If she would order me to fall on my blade, I would, for her. If she would want me as her husband, I would be happy to be hers.”

Casavir thought he heard footsteps approaching him.  _ Even if it is a remote spot for a shrine, it must be popular with those who knew where to find it. _ Suddenly everything went black. 

Bishop was starting to get annoyed watching Hildr pace back and forth in front of him. Pretty soon she would wear a rut in the road. “He has been gone too long. I am going after him.” She was pacing as she had been for more than an hour now. 

“Fine. Whatever you want to do, ladyship.” Bishop had not even tried to keep the edge out of his voice. He did not care what happened to that stupid paladin, and if Casavir was gone for good, it was for the better as far as he was concerned. He pushed the crown of flowers that she had made him earlier that day further back on his brow. _ If she was happy to make it for me, and toss it on my head like that, I will not take it off. Not yet. _

The look that Hildr gave him could only be called hateful as she grabbed her dagger and walked away in the same direction that Casavir had earlier. 

She did not have to go far to find him, and she was not sure if she should be relieved for that or not. Casavir was laying on his side in front of the shrine of Dibella. She was grateful that she had not let him take off his armor before he left the camp. He would be even more hurt then. She saw several people not far from where Casavir was lying, but none of them seemed to be paying him any attention. She crept closer to where he lay at the shrine, and quietly rolled him onto his back. Kneeling at his shoulder, she rubbed his face trying to wake him. When that didn’t work, she rubbed his neck, feeling a pulse, and gently pinched where his neck and shoulder met. Nothing. She laid a hand on his mouth and cast the healing spell he had taught her. She felt him gasp under her hand, and she silenced him with a finger held to her lips. When he nodded, she took her hand from his mouth and helped him sit upright.

“What happened?” She was speaking almost directly into his ear. She had pulled him into a seated position and had braced him upright with one knee behind his shoulder, and that hand by her hip. She had her arms around him as well holding him close. 

“I was praying and…” His hand went to the back of his head. She may have healed him, but there was still blood in his black hair. “They snuck up on me.” He had a rueful grin on his lips. 

“Shh. I need to get you out of here.” She kissed his ear to stop him from fighting back on that point. Before she could get more of a plan together than just the fact that they needed to get away, she heard voices. Presumably the figures that she had seen earlier were coming back to check on Casavir.  _ They probably figured he would be dead by now _ . 

The voices were close enough now that she could make out what they were saying “He had the eyes of a Nord.” The first voice belonged to a woman. These others were not far from her and Casavir now. She pulled Casavir tighter to her. 

“Well well, that one certainly is a Nord. Look at her.” Someone else was speaking. A man this time. She tensed, weighing her options.  _ If only I had grabbed my sword and not just my dagger _ . One look at Casavir’s attackers told her who they were. 

“Greetings Forsworn.”

“An intriguing woman kneeling here, at the Goddess of Beauty’s shrine, without her weapon drawn. Do you by chance have a death wish? Has your life treated you so poorly that you would make your friend watch as we tear you apart? Or perhaps this is a clever trap? Capitalizing on my weakness for attractive women to put me in a false sense of security. If so… I approve.” The voice was low and almost threatening. A third voice, another man. His voice was soft. 

Hildr only eyed the Forsworn as he came closer and crouched down to her level, looking directly into her eyes. Casavir still had his back to the three Forsworn, and Hildr was holding him almost like a shield. He had tensed when the Forsworn started talking. This Forsworn had light colored hair, and two golden streaks of warpaint coming from his eyes and down his neck. 

“Perhaps you’re a priestess of Dibella here to pray at her shrine. It would not surprise me that a beauty like you would be picked to serve her.” The Forsworn twisted a section of her short red-brown hair around his fingers as he spoke to her. He had an easy grin on his face. It was sickening. This Forsworn and his friends had almost killed Casavir. 

“I just want to talk. There is no need for bloodshed, at least no more bloodshed.” She rubbed Casavir’s shoulder possessively, trying to warn them that any more blood that must be spilled would be theirs and done in retaliation for hurting him. 

“Forgive me my impertinence, but I never thought to meet someone so open minded in Skyrim. But you aren’t just a curious traveller are you, you pretty little thing?” He reached out to turn her face in the dim light, but she shied away before he got close enough.  _ My hair is more than enough for this dirty savage to be touching _ . 

“No.” She looked back at him defiantly. “I am the Dragonborn.” She clutched Casavir to her chest and ran a hand over the back of his neck possessively. 

“Your eyes captivated me with their fire, but now it makes sense. So Skyrim’s savior has wit. Admirable, considering the weight on your shoulders. I have heard of your beauty, but the fact that you are speaking to me, and trying to protect your friend here, also shows your compassion. If I had known who you were, I would have introduced myself sooner.” He went down to one knee as he inched even closer to her. “I am Cael, but like you, I am known by other names. The Raven of the Reach. Chieftain of the Rudahan tribe. And you are coming with us Dragonborn.”

Casavir wrapped both of his arms around her tightly, and pulled her out of Cael’s reach, almost across himself. “Never. I won’t let you take her.” He growled at them, and would have pulled his sword had he not been more worried about keeping her safe. 

Cael and the two warriors ignored Casavir’s comment and only addressed Hildr. “Your strength will turn the tide in any battle, Dragonborn. Will you come with us willingly, or shall we have to carry you?” 

Hildr pushed Casavir away gently. “My lady?” 

“Trust me.” She kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear. “Bishop.” She could only hope Casavir heard and understood. She looked back to Cael in front of her. “But Casavir is free to go.” 

“Very well, Sparrow. Your friend is free to leave, but you will be coming back to my tribe with us.”  _ A bit quick with the pet names there, Forsworn _ . Hildr nuzzled Casavir’s neck and kissed his throat, feeling his pulse, and deeply breathing in his clean scent, hopefully not for the last time, as she held out her hands to Cael. Her hands were bound as she was pulled away from where Casavir still sat. His arm was still around her as they pulled her away, and she felt it slip away across her hips and down her leg. She shuddered at the touch, or potentially the loss of it. 

She allowed Cael and his compatriots to lead her away from the shrine and Casavir. She kept him in view as long as she could. He looked like a broken toy, sitting there alone in front of the shrine, his head in his hands. His crowns of flowers still lay where they had fallen when he was attacked. Her heart broke, and she hoped that it would not be the last time that she would see him. 

~~~~~

“So, sweet Sparrow, what brings you to this part of Skyrim?” Cael still held the lead to the bindings on her wrists, and had been trying to talk to her the whole time that they had been walking along. She held her head high as she looked straight ahead. _ I will not give in to this savage, or any of them in the group. No person who would sneak up and attempt to kill a man while he prayed at a shrine was deserving of conversation, at least not willing conversation.  _

Cael brought the whole group to a halt from where he was leading. “Sparrow. Will you not answer me? Am I that repulsive to you?” He hesitantly reached out a hand to stroke her cheek. She pretended not to notice and stared back the way that they had come.  _ Casavir is back there somewhere _ . She blinked back the tears that started to form in her eyes. _ Hurry Cas, come back for me _ . 

“No.” She felt almost as if the word was choking her, but she still did not look at Cael, the Raven of the Reach. 

His fingers were on her jaw, forcing her to turn her face back to him. “And why are you here, Sparrow? I am sure you did not come to join me.”

“We were on our way to Karthspire. Both of my companions and I, as well as two others. There is something there that will help us to fight the dragons.” She finally looked Cael in the eye, defiant even when bound. “I won’t fight for you, but if you free me I can fight the dragons. With them gone you would have one less enemy to fight for control of the Reach.” 

Cael looked at her consideringly for a moment. He circled her, studying every inch of her, as if he was about to strike before she would be able to do anything about it. Hildr ignored his hungry gaze, and looked back down the road towards Casavir and the camp.  _ They had to be coming to save me by now. How far behind me are they?  _

“Is that all you would give me, sweet sparrow, in exchange for your freedom?”

~~~~~

Casavir was panting and out of breath when he reached the camp again. It may not be becoming for a Paladin to run, but Hildr was in danger, and he needed to save her. At the very least it was a bad idea to run in his heavy plate armor. Hands on knees, and head hung, he gasped through an explanation of what had just happened when he reached Bishop. If the ranger was on edge when she didn’t return with him, he became more upset the further Casavir got in his explanation before finally turning resigned.

“We need to go after her.”  _ I need her. _

“To what end? If the forsworn have her, what makes you think we would be able to get her back so easily?” Bishop removed the crown of flowers he was wearing then as well, starting to crumple it in his hands out of despair. “Even if we do go after her, do you really think that we would be able to find her in the dark like this?”

“I thought you loved her, Bishop.”

“You would question that?” 

“Well, I am going after her. I love her.” Bishop looked at him in shock. Casavir realized what he had just confessed to Bishop. He had said it to another man before he even told Hildr.  _ I love her _ . He had blushed then, but took off before Bishop could say anything to him. Casavir heard Bishop approaching behind him before he had covered that much ground. 

Bishop grabbed Casavir by the arm and turned him back around mid stride. Casavir braced himself for the blow to the face that would certainly be about to land, but was surprised to see Bishop giving him an even and level gaze in the darkness. 

“If we are going after her, we may as well strike what we made of camp and follow after them. We can make a new camp somewhere safer once we have her again. I doubt you would be able to track them in this, so you are going to need me to help you.” Bishop was walking back to where they had tied the horses. “That is if you still meant to save her.” 

Before he knew it, Casavir was running back to where the horses were tied, determined to have Mist ready for Hildr, and be off riding after the Forsworn as soon as he was able. 

In short order they were off after Hildr. Bishop astride Kara, leaning half out of his saddle, Karnwyr running ahead of them, and Casavir leading Mist as he rode Justice. Karnwyr had picked up Hildr’s scent starting at the shrine, and had led them some distance up the path. Abruptly Karnwyr sat on the road, and no amount of coaxing would make the wolf go any further. 

Suddenly there was a large elk walking towards them. There were two riders astride the elk. Casavir thought his eyes were playing tricks on him.  _ Certainly we could not have found her so soon, nor would the Forsworn have given her up so quickly _ . Casavir shared a disgusted look with Bishop on seeing Hildr and a Forsworn riding the way they were. The savage was pawing Hildr in a way that would have put Bishop to shame had it been a contest. Cael was leading the elk with his knees, as both of his hands were busy tightly holding on to his lady where she sat in front of the other man. 

The Forsworn’s touch seemed to become more insistent as they drew closer to each other, but he still let her slip easily from her place in front of him before he addressed her. “Remember what I have said, Dragonborn. There is another clan that camps at Karthspire, and I would not weep to hear that they are no more. But if you linger here in the Reach, or cross through my lands again, I will not hesitate to take you. Next time I will keep you for myself, and your companions will need to find another woman. I will make you mine next time, no matter what it takes.” Cael stared at both Casavir and Bishop making sure that they both knew that he meant what he said. “We will be watching your progress, Sparrow. Do not disappoint us.” He turned the elk, and they silently disappeared into the night. 

Hildr turned to walk to her mare when she felt a solid form crash into her. Bishop had dismounted and run to her when Cael was leaving. She felt him kiss her neck and face, as his hands touched every inch of her. “He didn’t hurt you did he? I swear I will kill him if he even dreamed of harming you, darling.” 

“I am fine Bishop, but I don’t want to stay here right now. I thought I saw an inn or a building of some sort as Cael brought me back to you both. Let’s sleep there tonight. I don’t know if I would feel safe sleeping at the side of the road even if you both spent the night awake and keeping watch over me.” She led him by the hand back to where the horses and Casavir were waiting. She was happy to take the reins from Casavir, and to feel his fingers brush against hers. She had tried to plant an inconspicuous kiss on his hand, but she missed in the darkness. She swung into her saddle and they were off to the Old Hroldan Inn for the night. 


	26. Karthspire

All of them were crowded into the small room that they rented for the night. Bishop had insisted on sleeping in her bed with her, since Casavir had politely refused. Casaivr slept in the other small bed in the room and Karnwyr slept against the door. If anyone had thought to try and take her in the night, they would be hard pressed to actually get to her. She at least slept soundly where she was, pressed up against Bishop, and comfortable in his arms in Tiber Septim's room at the Old Hroldan Inn.  _ From the feeling of it is the original bed as well. At least Bishop is comfortable enough to sleep against.  _

Casavir heard a scream, and sat upright, pulling his dagger out of the sheath under his pillow. 

"My lady." Two figures were still peacefully asleep in the other bed. As much as it hurt to see her asleep in Bishop’s arms, it was reassuring to see her still peacefully asleep. _ It wasn't her. Then who was it? _ Casavir slipped out of his single bed, grabbing his dagger sheath, and padded barefoot across the stone floor and out into the common room of the inn. 

The innkeeper was cowering behind the bar, her hands covering her eyes, and he scanned the whole of the common room, before he saw a figure sitting in a chair near the door. Casavir tucked the dagger back into the sheath and into the waistband of his trousers. He moved closer to the apparition. Taking a chair across from the apparition, they talked for a few minutes. 

The ghost seemed to be able to speak to him and they had a short if pleasant conversation. Hjalti, the ghost had called him, and asked if he remembered. After conversing with the ghost for a few minutes, Casavir had resolved to help the spirit, and would ask his lady for permission to fulfill his promise to the specter.  _ If she will not come with me, of course. But that is not something to worry about now. I will ask her later, once we are done here.  _

Hildr woke to find her head over Bishop’s heart, the gentle rhythm of his heartbeats soothing her worried mind. Her left hand was on the mattress on the other side of Bishop, holding him close against her. His hands were clasped around her, holding her close against his bare chest, and not completely allowing her to get up once she awoke. 

“Good Morning, Princess.” He kissed her as she started to stir against his chest, but not letting her pull away from him. Her hand clutched his side, and he felt himself stirring at the idea of having her again. He had been awake for a long part of the night, not able to completely relax for worry of what had almost happened to her, or what could happen when they left.  _ Would that savage forsworn really try to take her away from me again? No. I will not even give him the chance to do that. She is mine _ .

She moaned into his chest. “Good Morning, Bishop. I am glad to see you’re up.” She ran her hand down to his hip in an almost agonizingly slow motion. He had to bite his lip to stop from crying out in pleasure as her hand slipped down his body. She called to the other man in the room. “Casi… are you awake?” 

Before Casavir could answer, Karnwyr came bounding across the floor to them, as if upset he was not asked if he was awake, and jumped into bed with Hildr and Bishop. Hildr giggled and petted the wolf as he licked her face.  _ I may be jealous that he is giving her attention, but that means that he has completely accepted her into the pack _ . Bishop laid there as long as he was able and enjoyed the feeling of her in his arms.

Hildr would not let them leave Old Hroldan until later in the day. She did not want to take any chance that they may run into Cael’s band in the dark again, and when they did leave the inn, Hildr insisted on galloping the rest of the way, until they were almost at Karthspire. 

Delphine and Esbern were waiting on the road above the forsworn encampment. Hildr and Casavir tied the three horses to a bush, and made their way over. Bishop had leapt from Kara and joined the other two in their scouting. Hildr, Bishop, and Casavir all took up positions to take out Forsworn with bows. On the way to Karthspire, Hildr remarked on hearing bird calls to Bishop, and she had just started hearing them again when they stopped.  _ It must be Cael’s tribe watching us and reporting our movements. How close to us are they? Cael said that they wouldn’t help, and they certainly couldn’t mean to try and abduct me from here, could they? _ Delphine and Esbern were already running into battle, short sword and magic mowing down all in their path. 

Bishop, Hildr, and Casavir provided cover as Delphine and Esbern rushed lower into the camp. There were forsworn milling about everywhere, almost as if they were bees coming out a smashed hive. Bishop and Hildr were happy to take out enemies for target practice. Casavir eventually switched back to using his sword, and joined the fray below. Hildr kept an eye on Casavir and made sure to aim for the forsworn in his path. She was also able to push Bishop away from taking any close shots at her knight. 

Once the Forsworn were all killed, Bishop and Hildr followed down into the camp, hand in hand. She reluctantly dropped his hand as they neared the others. “We should loot what we can from down here, and take it with us. Who knows what all would be up in the temple when we get there, or how long we will need to stay there.” Bishop finally seemed interested in taking charge of the situation and ordering them around.

Casavir did not seem to object as much to looting the forsworn camp for food. “Many forsworn worship Daedra, not the Nine. And I have known hunger in my travels. It would be considered just to not let it go to waste.” He had whispered it to her, as if he saw the confusion in her eyes that he would be okay with looting now. He rubbed her arm as he spoke, to reassure her.  _ That was probably another reason that Casavir had been unwilling to let me go with the forsworn. _ There was a chance that they were going to be there for a little while, especially if there was anything that they could learn in the temple. 

After they had looted what food they could find, the merry band made their way up into the temple. Bishop and Hildr were leading the way using their bows, as well as Esbern wielding magic. Ca savir took up the rear again as they climbed the mountain out of the camp. He may dislike not being at her side, but he could watch her better from back here. Bishop had made many rude comments before about how he enjoyed the view of her swaying hips as she led the way. As much as it grated on Casavir, Bishop had a point.  _ She is not only a beautiful subject to draw, but she is a work of art to watch as she moves as well _ . Casavir thought back to the ball and how he had enjoyed watching her dance with the other man that night.  _ She is always beautiful. Queenly even. How did I get so lucky for her to choose me to travel at her side? _ He was almost too distracted watching her walk to notice that they had been set upon by three additional forsworn in the first room of the cavern. Thankfully, the three forsworn were easily dispatched, and there was no need to heal any of his companions. 

Deeper in the mountain they finally found the first signs that they were on the right track. In the first open cavern there were platforms built up to either side, with large slabs of stone for bridges held up to deny them further entrance to the temple. Esbern was looking closely at three pillars that stood on the far end of the stone platform they were all standing on. There were patterns carved into the pillars, Hildr noticed, and turning all of them to show two mirrored dragons and an arrow between them allowed the stone bridge to lower. 

“How about that, beauty and brains.” She mumbled under her breath as she sauntered past Casavir and Bishop to cross the lowered bridge. 

“And so much more, my lady.” Casavir had whispered it into her ear as she passed him. She blushed and stumbled a few steps. Casavir grinned at her back.  _ So very much more, my lady _ .

After crossing the first bridge, there was another empty room, with a doorway that looked to lead back to where they had just been, only further through the room, and higher up. “Blessed Akatosh, someone definitely had a theme in mind when they were designing this place.” Hildr stood at the edge of a room covered in engraved tiles of several different styles as she ran her hands over her face. “Again with the mirrored dragons… Casavir, can you stand by with a healing spell?” 

“As you wish, my lady. I will wait here.” Casavir took his gauntlet off, and got ready to cast the spell on her the very instant she would need it. 

“Well, here goes nothing.” She stepped hesitantly out onto the first tile with the two dragons. Apparently that was the correct tile. There was a path across the whole floor of the chamber. Her foot only slipped for a moment about half way across, and she felt the rush of flames that told her she was right to only stand on the dragon carved tiles. She had to hold up a hand to stop Casavir from trying to run to her and heal her.  _ I can’t let him get hurt trying to help me _ . She regained her footing and stepped only on the dragon tiles until she crossed the room to a single pull chain suspended on a pillar. Casavir gingerly tested one of the tiles before hurrying to her side to heal the small singe she had on her hand.  Casavir stood there rubbing her hand once he was done. Bishop sauntered over to where she stood with Casavir. Esbern and Delphine were more concerned with rushing into the temple to see how she had fared. 

“And nimble on her feet, too.” Bishop whispered in her ear as he crossed to the second bridge that was now lowered. He had grabbed and squeezed her ass as he passed her to make sure she caught his statement and meaning. He also chuckled at the sharp sniff that Casavir gave him as he passed. If it were for the rude joke, or pawing her like that, Hildr could not say, but she suspected that it was both. Casavir followed her across the second bridge, and collided into her when she stopped suddenly.  He wrapped his arms around her protectively to try and cover up what he had just done, and to steady her so that she did not fall due to his carelessness.

The room that they had come to was a truly impressive cavern for where they were located. It seemed that it covered the entire side of the mountain that they were in, and looked to have been hewn from the mountain, half of the room exposed to the sky above. On the far side of the cavernous room stood a large face, the empty eye sockets seemed to glare at her menacingly, but at the same time it felt like it called to her just the same as the curved walls did. She pushed past Bishop and Delphine and walked past the large chest that sat in the middle of the floor near them barely paying it any attention. Esbern was already more than halfway to the face on the opposite wall. 

“Amazing, eh? To be standing on the very entrance to Sky Haven Temple itself!” Esbern was just staring ahead at the face, not seeming to notice that it was a solid wall that stood before them. 

“How do we find the entrance to Sky Haven Temple?”  _ This can’t be right. There is no doorway here. We have come to a dead end. And Esbern is excited about it all the same? The time alone in the ratway warrens must have really done a number on the old man. _

“Ah… Here’s the blood seal. Another of the lost Akaviri arts. The Akaviri blood seal can only be opened with the right kind of blood. Your blood, Dragonborn.” Hildr once again wished that he would stop talking about such fatalistic topics in such an even, almost cheery tone. He turned and looked around the room as if really seeing it for the first time. He also continued as if he just did not say that her blood was needed to let them further into the temple. “This whole place appears to be a shrine to Reman. He ended the Akaviri invasion under mysterious circumstances, you recall.” 

“If you need help drawing some blood, let me know.” Delphine called from further back in the space. She sounded like she would enjoy the prospect of spilling blood for the end that she wanted. 

_ So this was it? They only brought me with them to be used as a lamb at slaughter? _ Hildr felt a wave of cold flash over her and her stomach fell.  _ No. I want to live. This isn’t right. _

“How much blood do you need to open the seal?” Bishop’s voice was suddenly right at her shoulder, and while he held her in his arms, it was only the possessive hold of a man who would not let anything happen to her. “I won’t let them hurt you, sweetness.” He kissed the unruly lock of hair at her temple. “Do you trust me?”

“Always, Bishop.” She felt her heart pounding in her chest. It was the truth, but she never had admitted it to either herself or to him before. 

“Then trust me now.” He drew her over to the center of the blood seal and knelt down with her. “Give me your hand.” She obediently gave him her hand, and he took it in both of his. Bishop kissed each of her fingers, as well as the back of her hand gently. His touch felt only too comforting right then. She wished that they were alone, and that she could get completely lost in this attention from him. He was kissing her wrist and into her palm now. Suddenly the cold of his dagger replaced his warm breath and rough lips. She winced, but his hand held hers firm. Blood flowed from the cut onto the seal beneath them. 

“That’s done it! Look, it’s coming to life!” Delphine’s voice was nothing short of rapturous. 

Bishop hurriedly led her back off of the seal as it moved beneath them, to get her back out of danger. He seemed ready to protect her from anything again, and she only hoped now that he would be able to protect her from himself as well. Casavir appeared by her side as if summoned and took her cut hand in his, healing it with just a delicate touch, but she refused to let go of his hand once she had it. She squeezed his hand quickly three times, and was delighted to see him smile back at her before squeezing the same pattern back to her in response. 

When Hildr looked back to the face she was surprised to see that it had swung backwards, and revealed a stairwell. 

“After you, Dragonborn. You should have the honor of being the first to set foot in Sky Haven Temple.” If Delphine still sounded rapturous, there was also now an edge of reverence to her words. 

Casavir motioned for her to lead and tried to drop her hand, but she held firm.  _ He is not going to flee my grasp that easily _ . Casavir pushed one of the large dragon doors open for her, and allowed her to lead him into the darkness beyond, and further into the heart of the mountain. 

Bishop appeared at her other shoulder with a torch that he must have scavenged at some point on the climb. He was holding it for her as he braced her from the other side.  It was surprising that Bishop would be kind enough to let the light show them the way. There was also a chance that Bishop was intentionally trying to blind Casavir, but she would worry about that later if it even was the case. 

A ceiling loomed far above them, ornately carved pillars ringing a large room with a stone table in the center of it. Carvings along all of the walls showed that this place was important to the temple. Along one wall, on a short platform there was a large carving, almost as if it was meant to be the main focus of the whole room. Hildr felt the call from the wall almost the same as the call of the curved dragon walls again. _ Or was this what was calling me, not that face. _ She kept her hand in Casavir’s, and tried to make it look like she was not fighting with herself to not run to that carving.  _ This is it. It has to be _ . She stood in the small patch of sunlight that was streaming in from a hole over the wall. 

“Shor’s bones! Here it is! Alduin’s Wall… so well preserved… I’ve never seen a finer example of early second era Akaviri sculptural relief…” Esbern slowly and calmly walked past her and her companions to the wall that she was staring at, his torch raised high. He walked the whole way to the far left before he leaned closer to the wall, as if reading the sculptures that were carved there. “Isn’t it amazing? Let me see if I can find the right panel…” Delphine was approaching as well by now, her torch held high, and blaring. They were lighting the braziers as they were approaching as well, Bishop was even helping. The flickering flames almost made it look as if the reliefs were moving before her eyes. 

“Look, here is Alduin. This panel goes back to the beginning of time, when Alduin and the Dragon Cult ruled over Skyrim.” He took a step to the right, moving down the wall slightly. “Here, the humans rebel against their dragon overlords - the legendary Dragon War. Alduin’s defeat is the centerpiece of the Wall. You see, here he is falling from the sky. The Nord Tongues -- masters of the voice -- are arrayed against him.” Esbern had moved on to a lecturing tone, as if training all of them as apprentices. 

“So, does it show how they defeated him? Isn’t that why we’re here?” Delphine was sounding more anxious than rapturous. It was a nice change after how she had been speaking in the previous room. 

“Patience, my dear. The Akaviri were not a straightforward people. Everything is couched in allegory and mythic symbolism.” He looked back over the section of the wall in front of him. “Yes, yes. This here, coming from the mouths of the Nord heroes -- this is the Akaviri symbol for Shout.” He ran his fingers lightly over a section of the wall. “But … there’s no way to know what Shout is meant.”

“You mean they used a Shout to defeat Alduin? You’re sure?” Delphine was slowly starting to sound more anxious now. It seemed that every revelation that Esbern made had complicated her task as a Blade. 

“Oh, yes. Presumably something rather specific to dragons, or even Alduin himself. Remember, this -” he motioned with his torch to the wall- “is where they recorded all they knew of Alduin and his return.”

“So we’re looking for a Shout, then? Damn it.” Delphine drew a deep breath before rounding on Hildr. “Have you ever heard of such a thing? A Shout that can knock a dragon out of the sky?”

“No, I haven’t. But if there is a Shout like that, the Greybeards might know.” _ They knew everything about the dragonborn and shouting. Maybe I should have gone there first _ . 

“You’re probably right. I was hoping to avoid having to involve them in this, but it seems we have no choice.” Delphine seemed almost dejected at the idea of having to involve them. 

“What do you have against the Greybeards?” Casavir gave voice to the question before she could ask herself. 

“If they had their way, she’d do nothing but sit up on their mountain with them and talk to the sky, or whatever it is they do.” Bishop sniggered behind her. He had made much the same comment to her after they had visited the first time. “The Greybeards are so afraid of power that they won’t use it. Think about it. Have they tried to stop the civil war, or done anything about Alduin? No. And they’re afraid of her, of her power. Trust me, there’s no need to be afraid. Think of Tiber Septim. Do you think he’d have founded the Empire if he’s listened to the Greybeards?”

“They have a point, Delphine. Power can be dangerous. Look at Ulfric.” She instantly wished that she had not mentioned his name. Memories of Helgen came flooding back to her immediately. Even Casavir and Bishop tensed at the mention of his name, no doubt thinking back to how close it came to a bloodbath in the streets of Windhelm. 

“Only if you don’t know how to use it. All the great heroes have had to learn to use their power. Those that shrank from their destiny… well you’ve never heard of them, have you? And there are the villains - those that misused their power. There’s always a choice, and there’s always a risk. But if you live in fear of what might go wrong, you’ll end up doing nothing. Like the Greybeards up on their mountain.”

“I’d better go see what Arngeir knows about this Shout.”

“Right. Good thing they’ve already let you into their little cult. Not likely they’d help Esbern or me if we came calling.” _ If anything, Delphine, they would Shout either of you off of the mountain for fun. I will do it myself if you give me another reason, maybe then we will see if your conviction still holds.  _ “We’ll look around Sky Haven Temple and see what else the old Blades might have left for us. It’s a better hideout than I could have hoped for. Talos guard you.”

“We are staying here for the night before we move on. I am not crossing back through territory held by the forsworn at night.”  _ Not now that I know the one forsworn intends to keep me if he sees me again… _

Before Delphine could say anything, Esbern was talking about the wall again. “Look, here. In the third panel. The prophecy which brought the Akaviri to Tamriel in the first place, in search of the Dragonborn. Here are the Akaviri - the Blades - you see their distinctive longswords...” Hildr had had enough of Delphine and her unreasonable commands, as well as Esbern and his lecturing tone. She stormed away from the wall and towards one of several doorways that surrounded the great room they were in. She didn’t even check to see if Bishop and Casavir were following her. 

"Loot. Loot everything." She turned to both of them behind her, as she leaned against a stone table, taking a slim sword with a flame on the tip of the pommel to match her words. "I am the Dragonborn, and it is about time they learn that.” She drew the blade with a flourish, and examined it as she spoke. “I will not be ordered around like a tavern wench. I will take what I want." Had she been more dragon, she would have sprayed fire around the room. "I am no toy or doll to be used and discarded when someone is done with me." Her voice was hard and sharp as steel. 

Bishop was looking at her with pride in his amber eyes, happy to see that she was standing up for herself and what she wanted. The look that Casavir gave her was stoic and unreadable.  _ This is the first he has seen of my wrath _ .

"Loot the Forsworn again as well. Leave nothing that we can use." She gestured with the sword towards Esbern and Delphine. "Leave nothing for them." Her words had the hard ring of command in them, she was happy to hear, and Casavir seemed to agree with her decision finally. 

"And we are staying here tonight. As I told Delphine, we are not walking or riding back through forsworn territory tonight. Not if Cael will keep me if he sees me again.” She resheathed her sword, and then tied it onto her belt. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself before she continued. “Let's find a place to sleep before we start gathering supplies. I don't want to sleep near that wall if I don't have to." She looked at each of them. "And I doubt either of you will let me out of your sight if you could sleep with your eyes open." Bishop gave her an open grin, while Casavir answered with a shy smile and bowed his head.

“Lead the way, my lady.” Casavir was stepping out of her way so that he could follow at her heels, and tailed her as she went room to room looking for anything that they would need or want for the journey. As she had predicted, neither of them were willing to let her out of their sight, even when they were still in the temple. She smiled to herself, with how protective they were both being with her. It was a nice change to have them both agreeing to protect her instead of fighting over her. 

They walked through another room at the top of a flight of steps. There were beds along the walls there, and it looked like at one time it would have been the barracks for the Blades.  _ Perfect, more than enough mattresses to make a comfortable place to sleep _ . A glimmer caught her eye, and she saw a set of decorative plate armor. She nudged Casavir and pointed to it.  _ If he would be interested in a new set of armor, maybe it would fit him? _ He shook his head with a sad smile on his lips. She shrugged and continued up the hallway quietly. _ Is that a sign that he will choose his vows? Blessed Mara, please let that not be the case _ . 

Three large sets of double doors stood to her left as she came down the hall. The sunlight streaming in overhead cast soft shadows over the landing she was on, above Alduin’s wall. Esbern’s voice drifted up to her. He was still speaking in that too cheerful tone about fatalistic topics.  _ Was there really so much information stored in carvings on one wall? _ Hildr turned and opened the doors. She was surprised to see such a beautiful scene just outside of the temple. Apparently it was a training ground of sorts up here, with some covered areas to sit out of the midday sun, or rain.

“Put the bedding over there? We can sleep under the cover tonight, in case it would rain.” She leaned into Bishop. “Unless you would rather sleep under the stars.” Bishop drew a shuddering breath, and his eyes had an excited lust-filled gleam to them. “But I think we should all sleep together. It should put both your minds at rest. Up here we shouldn’t need to keep watch, and we can all get a good night’s rest.” She looked at both of them. Bishop’s gaze was jealous and possessive, while Casavir looked almost longingly at her. Bishop shot an angry look at Casavir, apparently unwilling to share her, even when she wanted that.  _ Wasn’t it his idea that first time at High Hrothgar? _

“Alright Princess. As you command.” Bishop gave her a cheeky bow, sweeping his arms back before he turned and walked back into the temple. 

Hildr crossed to Casavir as soon as the door closed behind Bishop, and felt his arms go around her. “My lady, are you okay? Not just with crossing that floor, but being taken by that daedra-worshipping savage.” Casavir pulled her tight against his chest, enjoying having a quiet moment with her for the first time in what felt like too long. “I am sorry that I was not able to protect you from them, my lady. I hope that you will be able to forgive me, and not ask me to leave your side.” He brushed her short hair back from her face. 

“I am fine, Cas. Are you still sore?” She ran her fingers through his thick black hair. “I was worried that I didn’t find you in time.” She could hear the tears coming in her voice. “And I will not let you go. Never.”

“None of that now, my lady.” He rubbed her cheeks and kissed her forehead tenderly. “We should get everything ready for tonight. Shall we?” He held out a hand to her, and she took it, letting him lead her back into the temple, and to the room where Bishop was already gathering up all of the bedding that he could carry to drag outside. 

Bishop and Casavir layered three mattresses one on top of the other before carrying them outside. Hildr carried the blankets and followed them back out onto the patio. The three of them dropped everything in one pile before Casavir volunteered to go back down the mountain to the forsworn camp. 

Casavir left to go back down to the forsworn camp below. Hildr had given him a list of things to look for, mostly furs, bedrolls, and any food that was left after they cleared the camp earlier. She turned back to Bishop after Casavir had left, ready to ask him to help her get everything arranged out there. 

“Your screams will probably echo, Princess. I want to find out, do you?” Bishop was dangerously close to her, and was slowly stalking closer to her, backing her up against a boulder along the edge of the training yard.

“Yes.” She breathed into him in response, and was surprised that he had unlaced her trousers and had them down past her knees almost the instant that she answered him. He freed himself from his own trousers, and had turned and braced her against one of the boulders in one flowing movement. He was deep inside her by her next heartbeat. Bishop was taking her like a hound takes a bitch.  _ I am claiming her for real now _ . 

He pulled her back against him with a hand under her shirt and on her breast, and the other clutching her hip.  _ She is mine. She will always be mine. I will not lose her, not to that damn Paladin, an accursed Forsworn, or any other man who would think to take her from me _ . He was fast and rough this time, and he made sure to finish inside her. If she was screaming, or if it echoed, he never noticed in his need to claim her. 

The moment he stopped moving Hildr pushed him away from her and pulled her trousers back up, before turning and lacing him back into his trousers as well. “No need for Casavir to find out, is there?” She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him flush against herself. “Besides, if we do that again later, you can act like it is the first time today.” She kissed his throat, enjoying the feel of his racing pulse under her lips.  "Thank you, Bishop. Was there an echo? I wasn't listening."

She felt him chuckle. “I wasn’t listening either. I guess we will have to try again later.” He rubbed his cheek against her forehead. 

“Bishop. I know that you aren’t one for family, but you need to know…” She was watching him, staring into his amber eyes for every response. She took a deep breath. “I think I may be pregnant.”

“Wait, what!? Are you saying you’re… No, you’d have told me before now, right?” His eyes were wild. Part of him wanted to flee right then, and he was looking around almost for an exit.  _ No, I am looking around to make sure that Casavir isn’t putting her up to this. This is too good to be true. Please let it be true. _

“I am trying to tell you now, Bishop.” She rubbed his cheek, and ran her fingers through his hair when he didn’t meet her eyes.

“Shit… Are you pulling my leg?” _ No, this can’t be true. This is too good to be true. A family? With her?  _

“Bishop,” she grabbed his hands and placed them on her lower abdomen, “I wouldn’t joke about this.” She rubbed the backs of his hands encouragingly as she held them still against her.

He blinked a few times, still startled at what all she had just told him. “How long…? How long have you known?” He thought back through conversations from the past few weeks. “Solitude, before the embassy… when you asked…”

“I was beginning to think that I might be, but I wasn’t certain. I also wanted to know how you would react to the possibility of us being a family before I said anything about it. If you wouldn’t…”  _ If I hadn’t been receptive to it before the embassy, she would have done something and never told me. She might have even tried to go to that damned Paladin for help. And if that Forsworn had kept her… _

“Sweetness. Don’t even imagine for a moment that I would abandon you. Either of you. I have stuck by your side through all of this so far, haven’t I?” He kissed her forehead above her eye as he wrapped his arms around her as well. “Even with Casavir around, I am still by your side, and I always will be.”

Hildr had gone stiff at the mention of the Paladin. “How are we going to tell him?” She was squeezing his arms where she held him. _ Was she worried about the other man? _

“Who says we need to?” He was stroking her back to try and reassure her. “I am sure that he will be able to figure it out, sweetness.” He kissed her short unruly hair and laughed. “It isn’t like you will be able to hide it forever, no matter what armor you wear.” She looked at him anxiously. Apparently she hadn’t thought about that little detail.  _ Is she relieved or worried?  _

“Bishop. What about…”

He kissed her to stop any argument she might have been trying to start. “My father was a drunk, cheating bastard, Princess, and I… I will never be that. You and our child will never have to doubt my feelings for either of you.”  _ You have my heart, sweetness. I have wanted you since I first laid eyes on you back in Riverwood, and hated the man who would be lucky enough to call you his. Now that I think that man might be me, I could not be any happier, not even if I heard you tell the Paladin to fall on his sword _ . 

“Of course, Bishop.” She leaned into him more solidly, and let Bishop run his hands up and down her back to finally calm her. 

“Come on, Princess. Let’s get the beds put together. Maybe the Palad-Casavir won’t notice that we took some time for ourselves.” Bishop placed one last kiss on her temple before he got to work on arranging everything into beds for the three of them. 


	27. Glancing blows

Casavir returned with an armful of furs and bedrolls to add to the pile that they had started. Bishop volunteered to go back out and hunt for the three of them, and quickly left with Karnwyr in tow. 

“My lady, do you… do you really wish for all of us to sleep together again? I…”  _ I want you to myself, like that night in Rorikstead _ . He hoped that he had not sounded too excited at his question. 

“Yes, Cas. I doubt that either you or Bishop would let me out of your sight or out of arm’s reach if you could help it. Am I wrong in that?”  She stepped closer to him, and ran a hand down his arm, almost leading his hand to her side. She was watching him through her lashes, a playful smile on her lips.

Casavir flushed a deep crimson in response. “No, my lady. I would sleep better…” _ I would sleep better with you in my arms alone _ . Casavir cleared his throat. “Knowing that you are safe.” 

“I will be safe with you to protect me, Casi.” She rubbed his cheek as she spoke, resting her circleted forehead against his for a moment before he pulled away to look into her eyes.  _ She is close enough that she would be able to kiss me if she wishes.  _

“My lady, you honor me too much. I fear that I am not the worthy protector you believe that I am.” He pulled her hand from his cheek. After a moment, he kissed the back of her hand, and then the inside of her wrist. “But I will do whatever you request of me, and I will serve you as best as I can.” After a moment he blushed, realizing what it must sound like he was offering her, not that it was not on his mind. 

“I know. Your vows…”  _ And my current condition, if Casavir knows it or not, also stands in the way _ . She tried not to sigh too deeply, but not hearing what his choice was on his vows was really starting to become inconvenient for her.  _ I will give him all of the time that he needs to make that decision. It is his and his alone. _ She tried to sound more cheerful as she changed the subject. “Will you help me finish getting our little camp together?” 

He nodded to her, and followed her in setting the last few things up. They soon had the mattresses set up for the three of them, complete with a mound of bedrolls and furs, as well as a crackling fire started as they were waiting for Bishop. Hildr snuggled against Casavir on the large bed arranged for all of them, grateful to have him next to her. She fingered one of the clasps on his armor, hoping that he would get the hint without her directly asking him. 

He smiled down at Hildr curled up against him, as if he understood what she meant by that simple action and wanted the same. Casavir quickly stripped down to just his shirt and trousers before sitting back down next to her and pulling her completely into his arms. “Is that what you wanted, my lady?” His voice was husky and almost seductive. _ If only I knew that Bishop would not be back any time soon, I would be happy to melt into his arms here.  _

“Yes. Thank you.” She pushed him down onto his back beside her, and allowed him to pull her down next to him in turn. She kissed his shoulder as she snuggled against his chest and intertwined her fingers with his and held their joined hands on her hip. It felt so good to have his arm pressing her next to him. She ran her free hand across his chest and to his other shoulder. “Is this what you wanted as well Cas?”

“Yes.” He almost gasped the answer to her again like he had when he confessed that he cared for her back in Windhelm. 

“Good.” Her hand slowly and deliberately stroked lower down his chest, feeling his taut muscles through his shirt. 

“My lady?” He sounded curious as to what she was doing in that instance, but he did not sound upset with her for tempting him like this. 

“Bishop won’t be back for a while. We have some time to ourselves, my knight of the flowers.” Her hand continued to move lower down his chest and across his toned abs. She was paying careful attention to how he felt under her fingers.  _ He is almost entirely muscle, and there is barely a scar on him. I remember that from Riverwood, but seeing him in his armor, it doesn’t seem possible that he would feel like this beside me _ . She kissed his shoulder again, enjoying the feeling of him flexing his muscles under her touch. “Is there anything that you would want from me?” Her hand was almost at his waist before he caught it, and pulled it up to his lips to kiss the inside of her wrist again. 

He gently held her hand down on his chest. “My lady. I…” _ I would wish for anything that you would give me right now, but you do not know my past, and it would not be fair to you. I love you, and I am worried that you will not love me in return once you know the truth about me. To hold you in my arms, to have you to myself, to make you totally and completely mine, my lady, it would be my sweetest dream fulfilled. _ He rolled onto his side, pulling her flush against him. His hands roamed over her, not wanting to stop, no matter if he should. “Please.”

“Please what, Cas? Just tell me, and you shall have it. All you need is to ask.” Hildr had one hand on his side, her other hand on his chest over his heart. Her voice was husky and seductive. 

“This is all I need, my lady.”  _ This is all that I want that I can have right now. Sovangarde could not be half so sweet as being here with you in my arms, and your arms around me as well _ . “Please never let go.”

“Never Cas. Never. I would stay with you until the divines take us.” She kissed his neck and ran her hands down his side and chest. “All you need to do is decide about your vows.”

_ I cannot tell her that I have chosen her until she knows my past _ . “Soon, my lady.”  _ We will both know soon _ . “But can we stay like this until then?”

“Yes.” She sounded like she had gasped the answer back to him as well. “Gladly.”  He felt his chest rumble with a chuckle. It was reassuring that she was still off balance from time to time when she was with him. Even if she did manage to keep herself more in line. He ran his fingers through her hair, and hummed to her the song from the concert in Windhelm. _ I am weak, my love, and I am wanting…  _

~~~~~

The sun sank low on the horizon and seemed to be swallowed up by the mountain before Bishop returned with a fresh deer. Karnwyr bounded over to where Hildr and Casavir were curled up together, apparently not understanding that he was interrupting them. Casavir reluctantly got up as Karnwyr attacked Hildr with kisses. Bishop shot disgusted glances over his shoulder as he was finishing cutting up the deer until Casavir finally relented and helped Bishop cook.  Hildr was watching them both from a spot on the makeshift bed next to Karnwyr, the furs tight around her, even if she did not need them. 

They could not be more different from each other, her two protectors. Where Bishop was fair, Casavir was dark. Where Bishop was lithe and lean muscle, Casavir was thick with corded muscles, and looked like he could easily lift his stallion over his head if he would ever need to. Casavir had wide shoulders and the endurance of a man who had trained long years with a sword. If he needed to, he could fight from dawn until dusk. Bishop had the patience of a hunter, at least in most things. He could wait almost as if he was carved from stone for his prey to relax so that he could take his shot.  _ And I want them both, and they both want me in return. Now it is just a matter of making them both accept that. _

When the venison was cooked Casavir brought her over a hunk of meat with some potatoes and leeks as well.  _ Things that we stole from the forsworn camp below. _ When Casavir went back to the fire to get his own food, Bishop nestled next to Hildr as if to make sure to scare off her poor knight. Thankfully, it did not work to dissuade Casavir from her side and he sat on her other side with her. As always, it felt good to have one of them on either side of her. After the events on the road, it was comforting to have them both protect her. 

After they had eaten, they tossed the wooden bowls aside and curled closer together. It was a beautiful clear night at Sky Haven Temple, and they were able to see the stars in the sky above them. Hildr shivered slightly, but was happy to have both of them there to share their warmth. 

“Do you know anything of the stars, my lady?” Casavir was close enough that he could have just whispered that in her ear, but she thought that for Bishop’s presence he had spoken more loudly to her. 

“Not that much unfortunately. Why Cas?” She gave him a playful smile, and ran her hand down his arm. She could almost hear Bishop bristle on her other side, and rolled onto her side so that she was more firmly pressed against him to placate him in turn. “How much do you know?” Bishop’s arm snaked around her, and he held her tight against himself. 

“Quite a bit, my lady. If you would allow me?”

Hildr nodded her head in ascent at Casavir’s question, allowing him to point out different constellations, and tell stories about them. Hildr listened for as long as she was able, before she was lulled to sleep by Casavir’s voice and comfortably warm with Bishop’s arm around her back. 

In the morning, Hildr was the first to wake up, and woke Casavir first with a squeeze of his hand. He smiled when he opened his eyes to see her watching him. Casavir blushed and quickly rolled away from her. Bishop woke as soon as she started to move in the furs. Bishop's arms were still around her, and he had one hand resting on her lower abdomen. _ He is already caressing me like I am far further along in my pregnancy. Had just the possibility that I am going to have his child brought this much of a change in the man already? _

She rolled over to face him once she thought Casavir was far enough away. “Bishop, you know you won’t feel anything.” She knew she was whispering, but was still worried that somehow Casavir would hear her.  _ Not now, not like this. He deserves to know, but I need to tell him, not have him just find out from a conversation with Bishop. _

“Oh? I know I feel something right now, sweetness.” He rubbed her side starting with her shoulder, and trailed down to her hip, before grabbing her ass to pull her flush against him. “Do you feel that too?” He was grinning as he whispered it into her ear. 

She giggled from where he held her flush against himself. “I guess I felt that.” She kissed him sweetly on the lips, already starting to enjoy the idea of having a family and maybe even a peaceful life with Bishop after she was done saving all of Nirn. For some reason that idea hurt.  _ Why? _ She pushed the idea from her mind as she sat up, and rubbed Bishop’s side. “C’mon. Let’s practice.” She was out of Bishop’s grasp and dressing before he fully understood what she meant. 

“Umm… Princess.” Bishop pushed Karnwyr off of his legs before he reached down and picked up his shirt and slid it over his arms, thinking of how to phrase his question.  _ Are you sure that is the best idea in your condition? _ “How about drills instead today?” He gave her a pointed look and a nod to her gut as he placed a hand over his own. 

_ I guess he does have a point _ . “Good idea, Bishop. Who would have thought you would show such initiative.” She gave him a suggestive wink, hoping that he knew it was all in jest. She wrapped an arm around him when he came over and nuzzled her neck and slowly rubbed across her hips. Casavir watched them with a light rosy blush and a raised eyebrow.  _ Hopefully he doesn’t figure it out anytime soon. He would probably leave over something like this _ . 

With an apple in hand she started to direct the two of them through the drills that she had learned from the Companions. Karnwyr was curled happily at her feet. She stood between the two of them as she walked them through the motions.  _ It will be easier to correct them in their stances from here _ . Casavir remembered most of the drills from when they trained back in Solitude. Bishop seemed to intentionally need her attention to correct his poses, not that she minded having her hands on him at the moment. 

After a few rounds of showing them the different stances and how they flowed together, Hildr stepped aside to watch the two of them go through the motions side by side. Bishop made it clear that he at the very least knew what he was doing, and that the steps made sense to him with how they flowed based on how he moved.  _ Casavir on the other hand… _ Casavir looked like he was caught up in a dance. He moved almost seamlessly from one position to the next, every movement liquid and flowing. The only thing that was missing when watching him was the music. Hildr had to take deep breaths when her gaze fixed on Casavir. Her heart felt like a stampede of wild horses. 

“Well, it looks like you both have a pretty good grasp on those forms. How about we add something else?” She tossed them each a short supple branch that she had cut from one of the nearby trees. “It isn’t the same as a proper quarterstaff, but it should do for now.” Hildr grabbed her own branch that she had cut and rejoined them in the line as she showed them the new moves. After several repetitions with the blocks and simple glancing attacks, she squared off with Casavir first. 

“Take it easy, Cas. We don’t need you getting thrown off balance when you go in for an attack. Just go slowly.”

Casavir nodded slowly in response. “As you say, my lady.” 

Hildr was happy to see that he followed her advice. His movements were slow and controlled as he fought his way across the paved square towards her. When she reached the end of the square, she reversed roles, and fought him back into the corner that he had started from. After a few rounds, Bishop insisted that he get a chance as well. Casavir relented and sat on the steps to the temple. 

Bishop was more controlled and a more cautious opponent compared to Casavir with his practice staff at least. In hand to hand he had always been the one rushing in to throw me off balance.  _ Stands to reason, he does prefer to use his bow whenever he is able. And he is probably extra cautious now that he knows. _ Lost in thought as she was, she didn’t notice that Bishop had turned the direction of their sparring match, and she was now backing up towards one of the boulders that was scattered out around the training ring. Hildr’s foot connected with the boulder, and she braced herself, suddenly aware of what Bishop was doing. 

Bishop pushed his practice staff against hers more firmly until her arms started to bend and pulled himself closer to her, with a hand on her hip, until he had her back pressed completely against the boulder. “Does this count as landing a blow on you, ladyship?” He smirked at her for the moment before he kissed her lips. 

“I think I will allow it to count as a blow, Bishop.” She looked into his golden yellow eyes, gleaming like two coins in the sun. “I will need to get to a smith for your token of esteem. A circlet of copper and onyx for you, so that all of Skyrim will know you are mine. Is there anything else that you would ask of me?” 

Bishop threw a cheeky grin over his shoulder towards where Casavir sat watching them, even if he was out of earshot. “Well, if you insist, ladyship.” When Hildr looked over Bishop’s shoulder it looked like Casavir was poised and ready to come rush to her defense.

“Not that Bishop.” She gave his shirt a playful tug. “You didn’t completely best me, so you can’t tell him to leave.” She leaned closer and whispered in Bishop’s ear. “Besides, if you are hinting at what I think you are… Well, I am sure you wouldn’t want to hurt our little pup now would you?” She kissed his ear before she pushed him away. 

“Hey Cas, do you want to try your luck again? We can see if you can land a blow on me as well.” She tried to make her voice light and playful. _ I have everything that I would need for your circlet as well, and it would save me some time _ . 

“If that is what you wish of me, my lady, consider it so.” Casavir gracefully slid from his position on the steps to the temple and rejoined her in the ring. Bishop was hesitantly backing away, but stayed close to the edge of the practice ring. 

Casavir again went through the drills that they had just learned, and did his best to replicate what Bishop had done in backing her up against the rocks along the side of the clearing.  _ If I can kiss her as well… No _ . The quarterstaff was a weapon he had trained with when he was younger, and was still somewhat proficient with it, even if he did prefer his hand and a half sword.  _ If only she were more adept in healing, maybe we could have practiced with swords or more advanced drills with staves. I even look forward to crossing blades with her in the practice ring. I am sure that she would be able to use her sword as well as I wield mine _ . He continued with only the drills that they had just learned, and continued to circle her slowly towards the rocks.  _ I do not want to overplay my hand just yet. Let her get comfortable thinking that she has the upper hand in this for a little while longer. Let us be alone and watching each other for a few more moments before… _ He had her cornered between two rocks. 

Casavir aimed a gentle glancing blow at Hildr’s hip. If he had meant to strike her in combat with his full force he was certain that hit would have completely shattered her hip, and not even he would have been able to heal her so that she would walk again.  _ I would never do that. I would never do anything to harm her. _ What Casavir was not expecting was the kick that landed on the back of his knee, forcing him to the ground away from her. He threw out a hand so that he would not go crashing into the rocks in front of him, and he rolled out of range of any further attack, pulling his makeshift staff back in front of himself to fend off any other blows. When Casavir turned and looked, Bishop was right where Casavir had stood as he had tapped Hildr. 

Hildr’s arms were around Bishop, and she looked like she was almost struggling to keep Bishop away from where Casavir had landed. Mercifully Bishop was not armed, or else Casavir felt he would be dead by now. The heat and anger in Bishop’s eyes alone would be fireballs if the man could wield any magic at all, and certainly Hildr was the only thing stopping Bishop from punching and kicking Casavir right now. 

“Bishop. That’s enough. Start cleaning up camp, and I will be there in a minute.” Hildr’s voice had a soothing, almost motherly tone to it in that moment. After a moment of her stroking Bishop’s hair, it seemed like it finally was registering with Bishop that she wanted him to back down from any attempt to harm Casavir. Bishop grumbled, but did as he was told. After he turned and was moving away, Hildr cast a healing spell and helped Casavir back up to his feet. 

“Are you okay, Casi? I think Bishop was worried that you hit me a little harder than you actually did.” She ran a hand through his hair, before rubbing her thumb over his cheek. “And as for your token of esteem, it will be a silver circlet with sapphires and moonstone. When you wear it, all of Skyrim will know that you are mine.”  _ It may not be a floral wedding crown, and it would not match my own, but it will have to do _ . 

“I will be fine, thanks to you, my lady. And I will be sure to wear your token with pride.” He could feel a fire starting in his cheeks, but he was glad that he did not look away, and his voice did not break.  _ It is more than I could have ever imagined. Would this be a permanent version of the floral crowns she had made on the road? Oh Mara let it be so. She picked silver as well as the rich blue stones for me specifically. She had told Bishop his would be copper and onyx to favor his coloring, and the sapphires would be like the blue mountain flowers for my eyes. Would she be making them herself for both of us? _

His mind raced, but it kept coming back to why Bishop would be so worried about a blow to Hildr, much less a gentle blow that had barely grazed her. 

Hildr walked back over to where Bishop was gathering up their supplies and going about striking camp. Casavir couldn’t help but notice that when she came within reach, Bishop placed his hands on her hips, and rested his forehead against hers. It looked like they were speaking for a little while, before Bishop pulled her chest against his in an embrace, not pressing all of her against himself as he so often did. A realization dawned on Casavir then, and he quickly counted off the months on his fingers.  _ No. If she were pregnant, she would be much further along by now.  _

_ And if she were, I would be happy for her, wouldn’t I?  _

It was Bishop and his rude comments that finally broke Casavir out of his moment of reflection. “Are you finally going to help, Paladin, or should we just leave you and your armor here to rust?” Bishop grinned as if he were especially proud of that mockling question.  _ Have to think on that retort for long, Ranger? I hope it didn’t hurt your little brain to come up with it _ . Casavir only cocked an eyebrow at Bishop as he walked over to where the both of them were gathering their supplies and getting ready to leave. 

Casavir donned his armor silently, occasionally stealing glances at Hildr as she got ready. It was not just usual observation of her this time, as he looked to see if there was anything that she would need his help with packing. Bishop obviously did not know the meaning of chivalry, or if he did, he had actively chosen not to follow that idea. If he was correct, she would need extra help with everything so as not to strain herself.

Casavir grabbed his pack and saddle bags before he descended back through the temple to where he had made a simple and quick stable for their horses. The cavern that led deeper into the temple was less than an ideal place to keep the three horses since there was nothing really resembling stalls, but it was better than leaving the horses out in the open for the forsworn to steal and eat them. He brushed out his stallion and made sure that his horse’s shoes were still well fitted, and free of stones.  _ If we are fleeing back through forsworn territory, we will need to make sure that we are ready and able to ride as fast as we can. It will not do for any of our horses to come up lame. I will not let the forsworn take her _ . Casavir saddled Justice, and turned his attention on Mist. Casavir was able to check Mist’s shoes and saddle her before Hildr appeared with Bishop at her side. 

Hildr smiled at Casavir’s thoughtful gesture to ready her horse, even if she did prefer to do it herself. She hung her saddle bags and made sure that Bishop would be able to ready Kara. Casavir was back over at Justice’s side, stroking the stallion’s nose as they waited for Bishop to get ready. Mist whickered, anxious to be on the road again, or wishing for more attention. Hildr patted Mist’s neck before she walked over to Casavir’s side. “We are going to need to gallop from when we leave. Are you both up to it?” Hildr reached out to rub Justice’s neck, but had to snatch her hand back when the stallion tried to bite her fingers. 

Casavir pulled the stallion’s face back to him as he held out his other hand out to her. “Are you okay, my lady?” He gave the stallion a disapproving look, but turned a kinder gaze on Hildr when he looked at her. She nodded her head sheepishly, and looked away. “Would you still like to pet him, my lady, if he will behave?”

“Yes please.” She tried not to sound too eager at the prospect.  _ Getting Casavir to accept more attention from me is like trying to break a horse to a rider. Small touches, slowly built over time to gain his trust. _

“If you would give me your hand, my lady.”

Hildr held out her hand towards the stallion again, and felt Casavir’s palm on the back of her hand. “She is a friend, Justice.” Casavir held her hand to the stallion’s nose so that he could smell both of their scents together. It felt good to feel Casavir’s hand over her own. The calm constant pressure oh Casavir’s hand was relaxing and reassuring.  _ My sweet knight, doing exactly what I want him to do even when he does not realize it. _ Casavir removed his hand, and thankfully Justice no longer seemed to be wary of her touch, and accepted her attention. She was happy to stroke the stallion’s nose for a few minutes, as Casavir stroked the stallion’s neck and watched her with an openingly adoring look in his eyes.  _ What is he thinking, I wonder. Could he have figured it out? That would make this conversation easier.  _

Bishop loudly cleared his throat behind the two of them, signalling that he was done with the two of them having time with each other, as well as being ready to ride. Hildr spared a smile for Casavir as she turned back to Bishop before mounting Mist and leading the way out of the cavern. Once they were all out on the road, Hildr kicked Mist up to a gallop and refused to slow, even to the shouting of her companions.

Casavir was happy to race, and leaned down over his Stallion’s neck to let his mount run as fast as he wished. Hildr could hear his laughter at letting his horse run, over the complaints of Bishop riding rough behind her. It was not something that Casavir did often, but it was always comforting to hear him laugh. Unfortunately there was no time to stop and check on Bishop.  _ We need to get out of this area, I will not let Cael take me _ . Hildr only looked back over her shoulder at one point. When she did, she could have sworn that she saw the outline of a great elk and what looked like a man sitting on its back atop a hill. 


	28. Making Choices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joyeux Noël!  
> Geseënde Kersfees!  
> Fröhliche Weihnachten!  
> Veselé Vánoce!  
> Gleðileg jól!  
> vrolijk kerstfeest!  
> buon Natale!  
> Feliz Navidad!
> 
> No matter how you say it or celebrate it, I hope that if you are celebrating Christmas this week that it is merry and bright!

After racing out of the Reach, Hildr allowed the three of them to slow down and regroup. Casavir was at her side almost immediately, moving Justice alongside Mist so that he would not have to be far from his lady. With them being safe in Falkreath, they would be able to relax and take their time on the road. 

“My lady, are you feeling well? You haven’t said a word since we left Sky Haven Temple. Is there anything that you need from me, my lady?”  _ Is there anything that you would want from me? I would be only too happy to give you anything you would want and more _ . “I have water, and some hard rolls in my pack, or…” Casavir was silenced by her hand on his upper thigh. Her touch always calmed him, but on occasion she could disarm him with just a touch as well. 

“Thank you, Cas, but I am fine. Having you by my side is all that I need.” She rubbed her finger along the inside of his knee, enjoying the crimson blush covering his face. “Unless you would want to give me something, Casi?” She fluttered her eyelashes at him as she leaned closer to him from her saddle. Hildr giggled when he did not respond to her. “Should I take that as a yes, Casavir? There is something that you want to give me. Are you going to make me guess or will you tell me?” 

“Would you want to guess, my lady?” Casavir sounded hesitant to agree to playing games with her. 

“Will you tell me if I get it right?”

“Yes.” He tried not to sound too eager. Some part of him hoped that she would not be able to guess what he would want to give her. 

Hildr rubbed his thigh. “Hmmmm. It wouldn’t be a hug, since that would be pretty hard to accomplish on horseback. So what else could it be?” She did not break her gaze from Casavir as she thought. Abruptly she stopped, pulling Mist up short, causing Casavir to stop as well. Within a heartbeat she was leaning out of her saddle and towards him again, much closer to him this time, her hand still on his thigh bracing herself as she leaned out of her saddle to him. “Would it be a kiss, my sweet knight of the flowers?” She was suddenly aware of Casavir’s warm breath, and the heat of his skin as she pulled his face back towards her with her other hand. “Is that a yes?”

“Among other things, my lady, yes.” He hoped that his blush was not too deep, as he shyly admitted that she was correct.

At his acknowledgement Hildr leaned the rest of the way out of her saddle towards him and kissed his cheek quickly before settling back in her saddle. 

“Not quite, my lady.” _To my shame I want much more than that, my lady. Much more than just that now._ Casavir reached out and cupped her cheek. As she turned and looked at him, Casavir felt his mouth go dry. _Can I really do this right now? No. No, not completely. But I can not back down completely now either._ He leaned out of his saddle in response and gave her a quick chaste kiss on the corner of her thin lips. He settled back into his saddle with a grin. And felt his heart racing in his chest. When he stole a glance at her as well, he was happy to see that her smile matched his own, as well as her blush.

Too soon afterwards, Bishop rode up to join them, destroying the moment with his presence. They continued the rest of the day towards Falkreath and through the verdant hold in silence. 

“It’s going to be getting dark soon. Bishop, guessing that you would rather get off of the road for the night again?” Hildr did her best to break the tense silence that was starting to settle around the three of them as they rode through Falkreath’s forest.

“With Thorn out here, ladyship, it would be safer.” Karnwyr barked as if in agreement with Bishop’s statement.

“Please not another cave.” She hoped that she did not sound too resigned. “Not that it was not pleasant, but I would prefer somewhere more comfortable to sleep if at all possible. Or at least not as musty.”

“Be careful what you wish for, ladyship. There is a mill nearby on Lake Ilinalta, just…” Bishop paused for a long moment. “Keep your wits about you.” He had an uncertain look about himself, as well as a false sense of bravado to accompany his words of warning. With a sigh, Bishop turned and led the way off of the main road and through the trees. After a few minutes they came to a clearing, and while Bishop did let them stop for a few moments, it was almost as if he was checking to make sure that it would be a good campsite before shaking his head and moving on.

They kept on through the woods of the hold, seemingly without any real purpose, but Bishop was acting like he knew where they were going. Eventually they came upon another section of the road, and followed it for a short time. They stopped when they were on the edge of another clearing, this time there was a small bridge in the middle of the clearing that crossed what would no doubt be a decent sized stream. There were also three buildings in the clearing, one home, a shack, and a lumber mill. “Princess, I give you Half Moon Mill. Like I said, keep your wits about you. This isn’t the type of place that you would want to be stranded or taken off guard if you can help it.”

There was a man and a woman working at the mill, but something seemed wrong with the scene that they were watching. There was an abundance of what looked like good lumber in the river right next to the mill. There were stands of large trees which would have made for excellent lumber still standing, while smaller trees, not far from saplings were cleared but still left tall stumps. When the three of them drew closer, she thought she heard Casavir rummaging through his saddlebags before mumbling something to himself. After a moment he gasped. “My lady, we should turn back. It isn’t safe.” He placed his hand on her thigh, closer to her hip than he would usually if he were paying attention. His eyes were darting around everywhere, as if to watch everything that surrounded them. His face looked almost ashen, as if all of the blood had drained out of him when he cast that spell. “We should have never come here. Those two are vampires.” Casavir motioned to the man and woman as he spoke, and reached to grab the hilt of his sword. 

Hildr pressed her hand firmly on top of Casavir’s hand on her thigh. “Cas. Listen. If we don’t make a scene, maybe they will think that we don’t know and they will let us go on our way. Bishop, do you think they will have some supplies here? I am not interested in any of the meat, so don’t even think of making that joke.”

Bishop sighed and rolled his eyes before he responded to her. “Really Princess, you are going to send me? The fa…”

“I am not interested in your back talk, Bishop.” She took a deep breath, angry with herself for snapping at him like that. She hadn’t had the chance to tell Casavir yet, and she didn’t want it to just be blurted out. Once she felt a little more calm, she continued. “And if anything should happen to you, Casavir and I can heal you and make sure that you don’t turn as well.”

“Fine. I will see what I can find, ladyship.” Bishop heeled his horse over towards the mill while Hildr and Casavir waited at the edge of the clearing. “But if I turn, I am biting you first.” Karnwyr followed behind Bishop and Kara as they crossed the clearing.

After Bishop rode away, Casavir lowered his voice and spoke as if only half to her. “Usually the first victim of a newly turned vampire is killed. They often do not know their strength or how insatiable their bloodlust can be.” He sounded like he was reciting from a book.  _ At least, I hope it is from a book. I don’t think I could bear to know that he has seen it first hand. _ “I will not let you be his first victim, my lady.” Casavir’s hand was still on her thigh, under her own hand, and she felt his thumb begin to move across the inside of her thigh in a slow hesitant motion. He blushed and took his hand off of her when he realized it. “My apologies, my lady.” 

“No worries, Cas. And you didn’t have to move your hand for my sake.” She rubbed his arm after he pulled his hand off of her leg. Hildr was watching Bishop as he moved up closer to the mill, and eventually motioned for them to join him up there. “And maybe…” She trailed off, not wanting to have the conversation with Casavir just yet.  _ I know that I am not showing yet, I still have time.  _

“My lady, there is another person here.” Casavir motioned to a young girl over by the edge of the woods. 

“I’ll go talk to her. You go see what Bishop has found out.”

“My lady, I…” The look that she shot him was enough to make him stop his protests. He sighed before he tried to answer her again. “Very well.” He bowed his head before he followed over to where Bishop was talking with the other two vampires. Casavir clearly looked on edge based on how he walked over, leading Justice, and how he stood stiffly far enough away that he would not be in danger of being attacked. She turned her focus on the little girl, not having time to worry about Casavir right then. 

“Hello sweetie, what is your name?” Hildr was down off her horse and was crouching in front of the girl. She looked like a young breton girl, not yet even a teenager. Her dark brown hair was tied at the nape of her neck with a short red ribbon, and the tips of her slightly pointed ears were visible. Strangely the little girl wouldn’t look Hildr in the eye, no matter how she tilted her head for a better look at the girl. It was almost as if the girl was studying the rocks and dirt at her feet as if Hildr wasn’t there. The girl swung a small basket full of flowers, mushrooms, and medicinal plants at her side.

“My name is Babette, Miss. What is yours?” The girl sounded sweet and demure as she shifted the basket in her hands. 

“My name is Hildr. Do you live here, Babette?” Hildr finally looked into the girl’s eyes, and only barely held back a startled gasp. Babette looked up when Hildr introduced herself. Her eyes were completely red.  _ Vampire. She may be their daughter, either turned young, or born like this. Blessed Mara, who would do something like this to a child? Maybe if I don’t bring it up, she won’t feel threatened to attack. I doubt that Bishop would be able to bear it if anything happened to me, and he would probably blame Casavir for it. _

“No, but I do not live far.” The child sounded oddly calm for standing in the clearing talking to a strange woman without any care in the world. 

“And your parents are alright with you being out here alone?”  _ That doesn’t sound right. What parents would let their young daughter out alone into the woods alone, even if it wasn’t far. These woods are dangerous, even for a little girl, even a little vampire girl. _ “Do you need someone to come with you to make sure that you make it home alright? I am sure that any of us would be willing to help you back home.” Hildr motioned over her shoulder to roughly where Bishop and Casavir would be talking to the couple who ran the mill.  _ Maybe not Bishop, but either Cas or I would do it for sure _ . 

Babette gave Hildr and then her two companions all long weighing looks before something seemed to change in the little girl’s face. The vampire girl’s look changed in that moment, as if she was softening towards Hildr in that moment. "No, Kind Lady." Capitalization was clear in her voice when she answered. “I know the way. I really would not want to be a burden, Kind Lady.”

“Are you sure? Your parents are probably worried sick. I know I would be if you were my daughter.”

"No, Kind Lady. As I said, I know the way. It is not far. Thank you for the offer of your help." Babbette swung her basket in her hand as she turned away and started off. 

Hildr stood there watching Babette leave, watching the little girl walk confidently, almost skipping, through the trees, not a care in the world. She stood there, staying there watching even after Babette was completely gone _. It had to be a coincidence. Just a young girl using it as a compliment for a woman, old enough to be her mother. Don't be so paranoid, Hildr. I would hope that my own child will be so polite. There is no way that it could be related to...  _ She jumped when she felt a heavy hand on her shoulder. She doubled over when she realized it was just Casavir, trying to catch her breath and slow her racing heart. “Blessed Mara, Cas. Don’t scare me like that.”

"My lady? Are you alright? You didn't seem to notice when I called out to you. I am sorry if I frightened you." He was looking down at his feet as he blushed, and was pointedly not making eye contact with her. 

"Don't worry, Cas. I was just lost in thought." She felt bad for worrying him, but he still should not have scared her like that. 

“Are you sure you are not ill, my lady? There is an eerie feeling out here, it makes my skin crawl just standing here. We should move on as soon as possible. Are we certain that this Thorn is as bad as Bishop says?” Casavir sounded doubtful that Bishop would be honest about this, but held his tongue all the same instead of voicing more than just that. 

Hildr sighed, somewhat annoyed that Casavir would doubt information like this from Bishop. “I would rather not find out if I didn't have to.”  _ What could their history have been like if Casavir would question all of Bishop’s decisions? _

“As you say, my lady. Shall we? We still have to finish making camp for the night. There is a lake nearby, my lady, and while the light is fading, there should be enough to fish by still.”

“Lead the way, Cas.” They walked in comfortable silence towards a spot a little ways away on the lake. It almost looked like it would be the perfect place for a camp, as long as they could find a warm and dry place to put the tent for the night.

“My lady, the night after… after you were taken in my place by the forsworn.” His voice broke, as if he was still ashamed that the forsworn had crept up on him while he prayed to Dibella.  _ Was I not supposed to find out that he was praying? He was probably praying about his vows. _ He cleared his throat before he continued. “There was an incident at Old Hroldan Inn.”

She stopped in her tracks in the woods at his admission. “An Incident? I don’t remember an…” She looked up at him in confusion. “Did… did I sleep through it?” Casavir stopped as well and looked back at her. 

“Yes my lady. And I am thankful that you did. You had an exhausting day.” She arched an eyebrow at him. _ As if you didn’t Cas? _ He ignored her look as he continued. “But that is not what I wanted to speak to you about. There was an apparition sitting in the common room of the inn. We conversed for a short time. He called me Hjalti and asked if I remembered him. He asked me if I would make him my brother and give him my sword.” He paused and looked into her eyes. “I would wish to fulfill my promise to the apparition and find this sword for him. Would you permit me to do so, my lady?”

“You would wish to go alone, Cas?” Hildr raised an eyebrow at Casavir again and gave him a long look.

“If you would permit me, I will go alone. But…” He stopped in his tracks and looked into her mesmerizing green eyes. “I would prefer to have you come with me, my lady, if you would be so kind. I would even be willing to spend my second request if that is what it would take for you to allow me to do this and you would permit it. It is your choice of course, my lady.”

_ If Bishop would even let me go with you Cas, especially given my current condition, not that you know at all. I just need to find the right time to tell you. _ “I do not think I would agree to sending you out on your own, Cas.” She gave him a playful smile. “So I guess I will have to come with you then.” She stepped in front of him and placed her hands on his chest. “Did he say  where to find the sword?” 

“I believe that he said that it would be found at Sundered Towers. There should also be another important sword there as well, my lady. There are tales of The Red Eagle being buried somewhere near there. Perhaps we could find his sword as well in our search?”

“Well then. Back in the Reach. What are the chances that we will end up back in Cael’s territory?” She mused half to herself.

“It may be that giving that Forsworn Red Eagle’s Sword would earn us some favor with the tribe, and allow us to pass freely. Either way, I will not let him take you again, my lady.” His voice sounded like steel wrapped in velvet, strong and determined, yet not harsh or uncaring. She felt his arm around her back, as if he meant to pull her against him and protect her from an unseen enemy out here. “Him or any other.” Casavir coughed, as if realizing what he had just said. Surprisingly, he did not say anything else, or try and correct what he had just said. 

“As you say, Cas.” She rubbed his arm reassuringly. “You and Bishop picked a good spot for a camp.” She motioned to where the tent was set up already. 

“That was entirely Bishop’s doing, my lady. I… I decided to make sure that you were alright instead of helping to set up camp.” Hildr saw a blush cover his cheeks before he looked away over the lake. “My apologies, but I thought it would be more important.” 

Hildr looked back to the camp and smiled as she watched Bishop go about getting the camp together. Bishop had gotten the tent up, and furs laid out for all three of them, as well as their bedrolls. A small fire had been started, and Bishop had his attention on the fire as well as the rest of their camp. _ The father of my first born child. A solid and consistent man. Some days I wonder if he is not too good to me. He will make an excellent father, even if he doesn’t realize it yet. _ She realized that she had stopped in her tracks when she saw Casavir helping in the camp as well before heading further down the shoreline. 

Hildr followed after Casavir as he hopped up on a boulder with what looked like a spear, and staring down into the water of the lake. He was standing so still that he looked almost like a statue. Suddenly, he struck down into the water, catching a fish on the end of a spear. He left the fish on the rock at his feet as he looked back down into the clear water of the lake and took up his perfectly still stance. Hildr sprawled on another rock and watched Casavir. He caught fish about half of the time that he struck, but the fish were all smaller. They were the ones that flitted around at the surface. 

“You need better bait.” She sounded absent minded and disinterested in what she was saying. She looked out over the lake for a few moments before she looked back at him.

Casavir relaxed his stance before he turned to look at her. “My lady, what do you mean?”

“If you want a better catch, you need better bait. Or to be more aggressive.” Still she sounded generally disinterested in what she was saying the whole time she was talking with him. She laid still, sprawled comfortably on the large rock on the shore.

“I am not sure I understand.” Casavir had a look of almost defensive puzzlement on his face when he was speaking with her.

“Then watch, and I will show you.” Hildr stood and took off her black silk wrap from across her chest, the mail reinforced corset, her quilted armor, and her short leather boots, leaving them in a pile on the rock she had been sitting on earlier. She stood there in just her trousers and linen shirt, a cheeky grin on her face as Casavir watched her.  _ If it had been Bishop I would have been only too happy to strip completely before jumping into the lake, but my poor knight might just have a heart attack over that. _ She jumped into the lake with her dagger bared. After a minute she surfaced with a large fish on her dagger, and dropped it at Casavir’s feet before she dove back down under the water. After another minute she surfaced again with another fish and dropped it at his feet as well. “Do you think that will be enough for the three of us?” She asked quickly before she ducked back down under the water and eventually swam back to where she had left her armor. “Can you take care of those while I re-dress?” She was still in the water as she asked, trying not to show how her shirt clung to her while soaking wet. 

“O-of course, my lady.” Casavir looked away from her and how her shirt clung to her. He had to shake his head to try and dislodge the lustful thoughts of her he was starting to have. 

Hildr turned away to wring out some of the water from her shirt before she went back to the camp. She gave Casavir one last smile as she slid into her boots and collected her armor. Thankfully it was not that cold out, and the camp was not too far.

Bishop was only too excited to welcome her back to the camp, even if she was soaking wet. “Ladyship, if you need me to help you get out of those wet clothes and into a warm bedroll, let me know. I would be only too happy to help you.” 

“That is a tempting offer, Bishop. Maybe if we are out on watch together, you can show me what you have in mind then.” She leaned in to whisper in her ear. “And we will have more time tonight under the stars if you would want it. We could have all the time in the world, darling.” She kissed his ear before she ducked into the tent to change out of her sodden clothing. She quickly pulled out a plain dress, causing flowers to shower out of her pack from between the dress’s folds and cover her bedroll. 

Casavir returned to the camp with the cleaned fish as Hildr came back out of the tent. They started to grill the fish on an open fire for something to eat as night fell. They quickly divided up the fish between the three of them. At some point after full dark, Karnwyr returned with a bloody snout to prove he had a productive hunt that night. 

“I will take the first watch. Bishop, you take the second. Cas, you sleep tonight.” Hildr did her best to sound relaxed and not worried.  _ We will need Casavir ready to heal either of us if the vampires come after us tonight.  _

“Are you sure, Ladyship? Just two watches tonight?” Bishop sounded only mildly concerned as her relaxed attitude. She had been insisting on three when she was able to, so that they could each get some more sleep. 

“Yes, Bishop. I think it would be better and easier just to have the two to make sure that at least one of us gets a full night's sleep.”  _ Is my bluff working? _

“Are you sure that is wise, my lady? With the… others… nearby, should we really be only set two watches tonight? Will that be enough?” Casavir sounded just as worried as she thought he would at her comment.  _ Just trust me, Cas. Please. Like you promised you would. _

“I am sure it will be, Cas. Please just trust me on this.” After a moment, Casavir bowed his head and gave her a resigned sigh. “If the worst should happen, you would at least be well rested enough to heal either of us before we turned.” She turned a sweet look up into Casavir’s face, and was happy to see that he was looking down into her eyes. 

“As you say, my lady.” He turned and ducked into the tent obediently, quickly falling asleep and leaving Hildr and Bishop together out under the stars. 

Bishop had the second watch that night, right after Hildr, and was silently stalking up to where she sat, facing towards the mill. He slid onto the log next to her, and wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her tight against his chest. After only a moment of hesitation he pulled her onto his lap. “Come here, Ladyship. Your watch is over, and I can keep you warm for the rest of the night if you will let me.” As if to make good on his promise, he wrapped the tail of his cloak around her as well and held her there tight against his chest. The aurora slid through the sky above them, turning the lake into a shimmering green mirror off to their left. She had a beautiful green glow to her, making her seem more ethereal and divine.

“Promise?” She snuggled against him, enjoying his musky wild scent. 

“Always Ladyship. I will always keep you warm, and do whatever it takes to warm you up as well. Just say the word and we can do that now if you want.” Bishop ran his hand up her leg as he held her close on his lap. 

“Bishop.” She squeezed his chest playfully. “Out here? Under the stars? What about our little pup?”

“Anywhere is the perfect place with you, Ladyship. And you know I would never hurt either of you.” He kissed her neck as he held her close, gently rubbing his hand over her belly. “Are you comfortable enough like this, or do you want to move into another position, ladyship?” 

Hildr giggled and looked into his amber eyes. “Could we curl up together like we did on the way to High Hrothgar last time? It was incredibly comfortable and I slept very well.”

“Gladly, Ladyship.” He slid her so that she was on her side between his legs, and her arms were around him. He stroked her back and ran his fingers through her short hair before one hand rested on her belly. He hummed the lullaby she used on him so that she would sleep. “I guess I will need to learn a lullaby or two soon.” 

She hummed at him in response before she curled up against him, leaning heavily into him for warmth. “I can’t wait to hear that Bishop. Will you also sing me to sleep then? And are you going to be able to keep watch with me here like this, Bishop?”

“I will always keep you safe, ladyship. Always.” He kissed her hair as she fell asleep against him. He kept watch, holding her, holding both of them, close against his chest, caressing her back. Dreaming of the life that they would soon have together. 

Casavir woke shortly after dawn, alone in the tent. Bishop had not come into the tent last night, preferring to be closer to Hildr as always, even sleeping outside before his watch. Casavir had laid awake for part of the night only staring at the tent above him. _ She should have long since come back from watch tonight. Bishop did not return in a panic for any reason so he must have found her. _ Casavir felt a tightness in his chest thinking of the two of them alone together out under the stars.  _ I know how Bishop must have felt that night that she was mine in Riverwood, but this would be the second time that she would be his. _ He ran his hand along the handle of his dagger, still in the sheath under his pillow.  _ I should go find her. I should make sure that she is okay.  _ He grabbed his dagger, and sat up, watching the sky lighten and turn pink as dawn broke. He put on his armor slowly and carefully, fighting with himself over what he was about to do. 

He knelt at the mouth of the tent, praying for strength in what he was about to do. When he opened his eyes and rose, he strode over to where he had watched her go to keep watch. _She cannot be far._ _Bishop should have joined her for his watch. They should be here together wherever they are._ As if thinking of her brought her into existence, he stumbled upon the two of them. They were curled up together near the log he had seen her sit on when she stopped to keep watch. Her head was on Bishop’s chest, and their arms and legs were entangled together. They looked peaceful. Blissfully still in their deep sleep, they did not notice that he was there. 

Casavir watched them, his chest hurting.  _ Had she looked that peaceful and blissful last time I found them together? Did she look like that when she woke in my arms in Riverwood? Could I be so lucky that she would want to be with me in the same way? I could love you better than Bishop ever could, my lady. I know that I could. My lady, what I would not give for a chance to show you that I could be better for you. This was our agreement though, when we are out under the stars, she is his.  _ He cleared his throat, hoping that it would be enough. Bishop’s eyes snapped open, studying him in the early morning light. As if Bishop could read Casavir’s thoughts, he clutched Hildr closer to his chest, and ran his fingers through her hair and down her back as he kissed her forehead. 

“Sweetness, it is time to get up.” Hildr buried her face into his chest, as if ignoring his statement would make it false. He chuckled as she groaned and ran her hands down his chest to his hips. “C’mon Sweetness. Don’t give me that. You know it is time to get up.” He leaned down and kissed her temple. “Besides, your Paladin looks upset to have found us like this.” 

Hildr half scrambled away from Bishop, as if in apology for Casavir finding them like that. Her face was crimson red, and she pointedly kept her gaze away from him. “We should go.” That was the only thing that she was able to murmur. Both Bishop and Casavir seemed to take it as an order. Quickly they had all packed their gear and were back in the saddle. 

Before long the gates of Falkreath were in front of them, and Bishop seemed to visibly relax a hair that they were close enough to be somewhat safe. 


	29. Arise

“Have you seen a dog on the road?” What seemed like all of the guards in Falkreath seemed to swarm around the three of them on horseback as soon as they reached the arch.

“What?” Hildr was surprised at how quickly all of the guards seemed to surround the three of them and press in closer and closer around their horses.

“Have you seen a dog out on the road? The blacksmith is looking for it.” The guard in front of the group, who still had the bars on his helm closed was apparently the one speaking to them.

“No, we haven’t seen anything.” Bishop was growing angry and anxious with the guards, and rode around them while Hildr and Casavir both dismounted to talk to them. _ Of course they would want to stop and get more information about what was going on with someone’s missing mutt. It is how she started traveling with me. _ Bishop walked Kara so that he was behind the guards and watching Hildr. He completely zoned out on what they were saying, and he sat in his saddle watching Hildr.  _ She seems to have a glow about her today. Is it her pregnancy showing? No, it should still be too early for that. She is just more beautiful than Dibella herself. It is no wonder that she should glow like an Aedra. One day, Princess, one day soon you are going to make me regret my decision to live out on the fringes of society. Only looking at you makes me regret telling you that I did not want a family. _ Bishop was startled back to reality by Kara moving without his guidance. He looked down to see that Casavir had grabbed her bridle along the cheek and was leading her after Hildr and Mist. They seemed to be heading towards Deadman’s Drink, the inn in town. Hildr quickly got a room for the three of them and went about setting them to their tasks. 

“Cas will you go to the Apothecary and Bishop to the general store?” Casaivr would know what to g et for some healing herbs.  _ My condition would probably make me sick pretty soon, and if I could delay Casavir figuring it out, any lies will all be worth it, even if I do not want to lie to him. This wouldn’t be a lie though, would it? Not really. _ She also remembered that the man who ran the general goods store was a former Stormcloak, and would probably not take kindly to an obvious outsider like Casavir. 

“And where are you going to be, ladyship? I think we should go one at a time, or you should come with me. This town isn’t safe.” The anxiety of having her wander around the town was plain in his voice, and he almost sounded like he was begging her not to leave his side. 

“I will be at the forge with the smith. If there is anywhere safe in this town, it will be there. There will be plenty of weapons around, and someone else nearby if I should have need of someone else to swing a sword without either of you by my side. Not to mention the guards patrolling the streets.” HIldr gave them both her most reassuring smile, hoping that it would be enough for them. 

Bishop grumbled at the idea, but Casavir agreed with her, settling the matter without need of any great debate. All three of them left the remainder of their belongings at the inn before getting to work, and Bishop and Casavir both walked off to take care of the tasks she had given them. 

_ I am at best a fair smith, thank Zenthar, but at least I have enough skill for this.  _ And the Smith, Lod, was kind enough to lend a hand on some of it. He at least lent her two casts that she could use, and that would make the whole process much faster and easier.

She laid out everything that she would need for each of the circlets and got to work. Casavir’s circlet would take longer, given that the silver would be harder to work with than the copper. She took her time working on each of them. Both of the circlets would need to fit just right, and she knew that she would not have too much time to work on fitting either of them.  _ Not with going after Thorn later. _

Bishop almost crashed through the door on his way out of Grey Pine Goods. Solaf’s angry words were just the buzzing of insects to Bishop, he no longer cared what the man thought now that he had the coin that Hildr wanted for their excess supplies.  _ I want to watch her as she works at the forge. I will most likely be the first of the two of us to return to her side today. Casavir always seemed to want to chat when he was sent to run errands for Hildr, as if he would even know what questions to ask to get information that would help us at all. _ Bishop was mostly happy that he did not have that much that he would have to sell to Solaf, the former Stormcloak here in Falkreath. The man disgusted Bishop with his racist ideology.  _ A Skyrim for only the Nords would be a far more depressing and stark place indeed _ . There would be no skooma or moon sugar, not that he ever tried it, and no sujamma. Even the jewelry would be poorer quality without Saxhleel craftsmanship from Black March. Bishop thought again about commissioning something from Madesi, the Argonian jeweler in Riften, for Hildr the next time they were in the city.

_ A ring for Hildr. For when I ask her to spend the rest of her life with me, and me alone. A gold ring, with the largest emerald that I can afford to have set in it. We can be happy together again. If she is willing to have my children, I will be sure that she is mine. We could have a small home, just the two of us. At least at first. We could be away from everything and everyone else in Skyrim. Whichever hold she would want to live in. Just her and I, and our little pups. Once the dragons are gone, we could have a peaceful life together. Casavir would hopefully fuck off around that time as well, if not before. Once we take care of Thorn we could even settle down here in Falkreath. It would be a new life for me. Tied down in one place, with one woman for the rest of my life. No. I wouldn’t be tied down with her. It would be amazing. To have her and only her every night for the rest of my life. It would be a blessing. Almost enough for a man like me to believe that the divines were real _ . 

When Bishop turned the corner to the forge, his heart skipped a few beats before taking off faster. Hildr was standing there at the forge, stripped of her armor, and coated in sweat. Her white linen shirt clung to her back and sides, but was open at the neck, showing off her chest and the tops of her small breasts, depending on how she moved. Luckily her hair was still too short to really hang down into her face as she worked, and what sections did seem long enough were tucked back into her own golden circlet. The gold and emerald necklace fell forward out of the neckline whenever she would lean forward, and Bishop was able to see down her shirt. He grinned hungrily as he watched her work and leaned up against the railing near the entrance to the forge so that he had the best view of her possible. Just watching her work was a test for him, and he had to fight with himself to not drag her back over to the inn to have some fun with her.  _ Gods how I want to kiss every inch of her. _ She would object to doing anything there at the forge, even if it would be a better use of the armor’s workbench. 

"Ladyship, what I said before about..." He trailed off as she glanced up at him, her emerald green eyes sparkling in the light of the forge. There was a decent amount of the skin of her chest that was showing as she looked at him, and his eyes were drawn to her chest immediately. His thoughts scattered every time he looked at her. 

"About Thorn?" She went back to her work at the forge, pumping the bellows slowly and deliberately, and looking out of the corner of her eye at him.

"Yeah." That would be an easier conversation right now.  _ At least compared to trying to convince her that I never meant everything I ever said before about not wanting a family or a wife _ . 

Hildr spared Bishop another long glance as she continued her work at the bellows. 

"What about him?" The way that the forge fire cast a glow over her skin and made her eyes seem brighter was captivating, and he felt his words fly away from him every time he looked at her. _ If we have a daughter, let her be even half as beautiful as her mother. I will be in so much trouble. There will be so many boys after her.  _

When Bishop didn't say anything, Hildr continued for him. "He dies. Simple as that. We will be paying him a visit before we leave Falkreath. Be ready." Her voice sounded like ice, cold and completely unforgiving. 

“Princess…” He uncrossed his arms from where he was leaning against the railing, and made as if he was going to wrap his arms around her. 

“If what you said is true, Bishop, I will not let him live to do that to another woman.” She saw the look that Bishop was giving her then as she was still working. “And I am sure that you will not let me out of your sight, so I do not need to worry about anything.”

“Of course, sweetness.” That seemed to end the conversation as far as she could tell. Bishop crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the railing again. His gaze was openly adoring. It almost looked like her stoic and serious ranger was lovestruck standing there and watching her like that.  _ And perhaps he is at that. Is he planning our lives for us now? At least a life for the two of us without Casavir around. A home for us if he doesn’t want to stay in Whiterun after our pup arrives. Oh my sweet ranger. Where would I be without you by my side?  _ She smiled to herself as she got back to work, and focused on casting the circlets. 

Casavir eventually returned as well, and once he saw that she was still working, he sat down at the grindstone with his sword, and then his dagger as if happy to have real equipment to work on. He tested the edges almost constantly with his thumb before he seemed to be happy with how sharp he had gotten them. After he was done with his weapons he began to work on his armor as well, tempering it, and replacing any leather straps that were beginning to wear. Hildr was watching him out of the corner of her eye, whenever she could spare him the attention, and Bishop was not trying to distract her.  _ Casavir would probably be a better smith than I, but this is my gift to him. My gift to each of them, so that, as I told them, all of Skyrim will know that they are mine.  _

“Cas, would you be able to take a look at my weapons and armor as well? They are over there.” Bishop almost fell out of his pose at the railing. Apparently he never thought to try and be helpful and improve any equipment for her, but only wanted to watch her instead. Casavir was delighted to help. He quickly fished out her swords that she had been using and sharpened both of them as well. Casavir gave her armor a quick once over before deciding that it was still sufficient to keep her safe without any improvement. “Can you sharpen my dagger too, Cas?” 

“Where is it my lady? I did not see it with everything else.” Casavir sounded almost confused, as if he did not think that he really could have missed her dagger in the pile of her belongings.

“It is here.” She leaned her hip out so that Casavir would be able to take it from the scabbard she had tucked in the waistband of her trousers.  _ My sweet knight, if you are going to be brave enough to kiss me while we are out on the road, you will need to be able to help me without getting too flustered by being close to me. Like breaking a horse, I need you to get used to small touches and interactions before you will be ready for anything more serious. If you should even want anything more serious. _

Casavir gulped and tried not to turn and look at Bishop, who was no doubt caressing the hilt of his own dagger as he watched them. Casavir quickly reached over and pulled the dagger out of the scabbard that was nestled in her waistband without disturbing what she was doing at the forge, one hand on her back to make sure that she did not move and end up hurt. Hildr heard him take a deep breath as he leaned in close to her to take her dagger. _ It is always amusing to see him get flustered being this near me with Bishop watching _ . Casavir carefully kept his eyes averted from the both of them as he worked, not wanting to see Bishop’s angry expression. Casavir was also acting like he did not want to think of having to slip the dagger back into the sheath on her hip. Especially since Bishop would still be watching him. 

Casavir considered himself very fortunate then that Hildr announced that she had to let the casting sit for a short time, and that she was hungry. He handed her dagger back to her as she strode past him out of the forge. Hildr led the way back over to Deadman’s Drink and picked a table in the back of the inn, with her back in the corner, and Bishop and Casavir each on a different side. 

“We are killing Thorn while we are here. I will not accept any argument on this point. If what you said is true Bishop, I will not let him harm another woman. I have a plan.” Bishop and Casavir listened attentively as she detailed what all she had in mind for infiltrating Thorn’s hovel and how she had planned to kill him. Bishop corrected her with technical details as needed, but overall agreed with the plan as well as the intent. 

“Are you sure that is wise, my lady?” Casavir sounded obviously concerned by the plan, as if upset that she would want to take on such a reckless act and possibly put herself in danger.

“It is what needs to be done, Cas.” 

Casavir held up his hands as if to defend himself. “I didn’t disagree with that, my lady, but are you sure this plan is wise? What if…” 

“We can’t plan for everything, Casavir.” She laid her hand on his forearm as she spoke, gently leading it back to the table. “This is something that I need to do. I don’t think I will be able to live with myself if I knew that he was still out here in the woods raping and torturing women and I didn’t do anything about it.” She almost sounded sad that she had waited this long to do anything about it, even if she did not know that this kind of monster was out here in the world.

Casavir nodded, finally agreeing with her plan and hopefully understanding the motivations behind it. “As you say, my lady.”

“Now that that is settled, I will be right back.” Hildr rose and walked to the bar, pack in hand before she moved away to the washroom.  _ No doubt she wanted to bathe and change out of the sweat sodden clothing she had been wearing at the forge. _ Bishop carefully kept his gaze away from Casavir. _ No doubt that stupid knight thinks this is still a reckless plan. Admittedly it is reckless, but if this is what she wants to do, there will be no way to dissuade her from it now. I will protect her, and our pup, no matter what we will face. We don’t need Casavir, I can take care of her myself. _ More than once Casavir had tried to start a conversation with him, but Bishop pointedly ignored the other man at the table with him.  _ I only tolerate him for her sake. He should know that by now. _

The meals they had ordered arrived before Hildr had returned, and Bishop was grateful for something else to occupy himself while he pointedly ignored Casavir. Bishop watched Casavir out of the corner of his eye. He knew better than to let his guard down around the knight. He had seen what Casavir was capable of in a fight. He had not expected Casavir to drop his fork and stare transfixed towards the bar, but when Bishop followed his gaze, he immediately understood why. 

Hildr had returned and had changed into a beautiful soft blue dress. It may be a common dress worn by countless other women across Skyrim, but she looked almost divine in it. She had better ones, more revealing ones, but he should have known she wouldn’t bring one of those with his holiness around.  _ You are so beautiful, Princess, and you are all mine. _

“My lady? Why a dress?” Confusion was plain in Casavir’s voice, and it sounded almost like the idea of her trying to ride Mist in a dress would be scandalous. 

“Yeah, ladyship. Why a dress? Not that I’m complaining or anything.” His gaze seemed to drink up every detail of her. “But what gives?”

“Well, I should look more like a captive this way right?” She leaned over the other side of the table as she addressed them, showing a bit of her chest and some cleavage. “And if he is brutalizing women, it would look like I am just a pretty victim that you are delivering for his… enjoyment.” The word seemed to curdle on her tongue as she said it, standing back up. “We should be able to slip in, kill any bandits who stand in our way, and get to Thorn. You seemed to imply that he isn’t the only one who enjoys such disgusting diversions, so maybe we can bluff our way past a few guards to get to Thorn if we should need to as well. Either way, we kill Thorn. In. Out. Simple.”

“I doubt that is going to be that simple, ladyship, but fine.” He laced his fingers between his head and leaned back in his chair, watching her every movement as she circled back around the table before coming to sit next to him again. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close against himself when she did finally sit next to him to eat. 

_ ~~~~~ _

When she had finished shaping and polishing their circlets, she laid them out on a fox fur on the workbench at the forge. 

“Bishop, come here.” He obeyed, and stopped in front of her, his arms winding protectively around her waist. She kissed his ear before she whispered to him. “Kneel.” 

“Gladly, ladyship.” He kissed her hip once he was on both knees in front of her, and held on to the backs of each of her thighs. “Out here? Alright, as you wish.” He winked at her as he ran his tongue over his lips suggestively.

Hildr slipped the copper and onyx circlet onto his head for him, and settled it onto his brow. “A perfect fit.” With two fingers under his chin, Hildr pulled him back up to his feet, and kissed him quickly. She felt his hands linger on her belly, as if her pregnancy was much more pronounced. She pushed him away with both hands on his chest before he could do much more. With a gesture from her to move back, he settled himself against the railing again and watched her with that usual hungry gleam in his eyes again. 

“Casavir, come here.” Casavir walked over obediently, and before she could ask him to, he dropped down to one knee in front of her, his fingers interlaced and braced on his thigh. If Hildr was upset by his position it was only because he was a bit farther away than Bishop had been. 

“My lady, I am not worthy of such an honor.” He bowed his head briefly, before he raised it again to look at her. Casavir had recognized the ceremony that she was using as the basis of this little display when she first laid their circlets on the fur. It was rather similar to what he had gone through when he was made a knight, if with less pomp and a more humble location this time.

“You are most worthy, my sweet Knight.” She nestled the silver circlet in his hair. The moonstone sat in the center of his forehead, with a large sapphire to either side. True, his circlet was much more valuable than Bishop’s but she had also figured that Casavir understood why it was a circlet that she gave each of them instead of a weapon as was traditional for Nords, and there was also no guarantee that Bishop would have worn his circlet. She only needed to make a slight adjustment to his raven black hair so that it would sit properly. She ran her finger under his chin, and smiled as he shivered before he rose. If Bishop wasn’t there, she would have kissed Casavir as well, but settled for kissing his cheek instead. 

Casavir was blushing when she pulled away from him. “Thank you, my lady. You are too kind. You do me too great an honor in this.” 

“As long as I live you will have a place at my hearth and at my table. A bed will always be ready for you should you ever need to rest from your travels. I will ask you to do no task that would ever dishonor you.”  _ That was at least part of the traditional pledges of fealty wasn’t it? _

“As long as I live, you will have my sword.”  _ And my heart, my lady _ . “I will accept no task that would ever bring you shame.” He leaned down in a bow and kissed both of her hands, as if to finish the ceremony.  _ My sweet lady, dare I tell you that I prayed to the Nord goddess Kyne for her wisdom and intercession before I returned to your side at the forge? So far, I have not wavered in my decision, and I  _ _ do not believe that I ever will change my mind or my heart on this matter _ _. _

Too soon any moment to confess his feelings or decision to her was already passed, her hands were out of his, and she had moved from in front of him. She was striding back to where her weapons and armor were still stored by the forge, moving as gracefully as if she flowed through the air. She was packing her armor, every inch a great warrior queen preparing to lead her men to battle, even if she was not wearing a single piece of armor at all. Casavir silently cursed himself for delaying as he followed her lead and pulled on the pieces of his plate as well before tying on his sword. Bishop was still ready for her proposed attack on Thorn, he had never stopped to take care of his weapons at the grindstone or the forge, and Casavir could only remember a handful of times that he had seen Bishop without his curais. 

Bishop was waiting by the horses in the small yard in front of the forge. His bags were already stored on Kara, and he was loading Hildr’s pack to Mist as well. He insisted on leading the horses instead of riding. 

“Don’t worry, ladyship, it won’t be that far. And the walk may do you good as well.” Bishop ran a hand over his own belly as if to include their pup. _ Is he already worried that I would get out of shape with my pregnancy? _

“Fine. Lead on Bishop.” Hildr held out her hand as if to beckon Casavir to her side and to hold his hand when he got there as well.  Casavir remained behind her, not joining her, since Bishop was already there.  _ Bishop must have said something while I was gone to change. Very well. I will not force him to do something he does not wish. There will be time later. I still need to tell him.  _ She rubbed a hand over her belly as they set out.  _ There will be plenty of time to figure out what to say to him.  _

~~~~~

Hildr was crouched between the two of them. For about a half hour now they had been watching the entrance to Thorn’s hovel, trying to get a rough guess of how many bandits they would face. Bishop claimed that they should prepare for at least thirty of Thorn’s followers in there, as well as some captives. The horses and the rest of their gear was hidden in the trees a short way off from where they were, down in a small hollow at the bottom of the hill, where there was a small lake. At the very least, it was far enough away that if there were any bandits acting as sentries, they would escape notice. If they had to run, it would not take them too long to get back to the horses. “Bishop, have you ever seen a bandit in plate and mail before?” Hildr was giving Casavir an apologetic look, but if she was supposed to look like a captive, they had to make it look convincing. 

“Can’t say that I have sweetness. She has a point, Paladin, you will make a racket and draw a lot of attention dressed like that.”

Casavir sighed, and took off his plate as he walked back to that small hollow, storing it in his pack with the horses. He had seen plenty of bandits and thugs in chainmail, and he would not be going into such a den of thieves without at least some protection. Bishop rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh when Casavir returned before Hildr elbowed him in the ribs to quiet him. Casavir had on the cloak from Delphine again, and was trying to look like a menacing figure in just his mail. When he crouched back down behind the log beside her, Hildr pulled the hood a little further to hide his kind eyes and make the disguise at least a touch more convincing. 

Hildr took off the scarf Bishop had given her and wrapped the black silk scarf across Casavir’s chest, from shoulder to hip, and tied it in a simple knot. “To cut back on the glimmer of your mail.” She leaned back against Bishop’s shoulder to get a better look at Casavir, dressed more as a rogue. “There, much better.” She tapped his nose gently as she said it, and gave Casavir a crooked smile. “Maybe you really could pass for a bandit.”

After a few more minutes of watching the entrance, Hildr stood and put a hand on their shoulders. “Come on. Let’s get this over with already.” She took her bow from the case on her back, and fitting an arrow, crept up to the door of the small hideout. 

There were no sentries outside, and she nodded to Bishop to open the door and lead the way. In the room immediately inside there were no guards either.  _ Could they really be this lax at their own hideout? _ Usually bandits had several layers of sentries and guards keeping a lookout for anyone who would think to sneak up on them and take their loot.  _ Could it be that Thorn is that vicious to anyone who crosses him? _

“Bishop,” she hissed at him, not wanting to speak normally and give away their position, “you lead the way. If anyone recognizes you, you should be able to get directions to Thorn right?”

“Yeah, as long as they don’t gut me first, Princess. Why?”

“You may be able to pry the most information from them if you lead the way. I can follow next, and with Casavir coming around last it should look something like an escorted prisoner, right? And if they raise the alarm,” she hefted her bow, “we can silence them. Right, Cas?” Casavir nodded from behind her.  _ Did he not think I had a plan or that much of a strategy earlier today at the inn? He seems to at least approve of being close enough that he can protect me if he should feel the need. And it will be good to be close enough to him that he can pull me out of danger. And if I need to look more of a prisoner later, I can always give Casavir my bow and arrows _ . 

“Fine Princess. Let’s get moving then.”


	30. Vengeance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning/Content Warning - Ramsay Bolton said it best. If you think this (chapter) has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.
> 
> This chapter features trauma that some readers may find disturbing. Reader discretion is advised. (There is a line of bold asterisk as a final warning/mark where it is safe to begin reading again.)

Hildr stopped short when they got to the cells in the hideout. She could hear other prisoners in this place, but did not know if they would be able to help those poor wretches as well. She pulled some leather straps and a piece of rope from one of the tables as they passed. 

“Bishop, if you are going to offer me up as a gift to Thorn, shouldn’t I look the part?” She held both of her hands in front of her, holding onto a length of rope. “And I doubt you would make an overly convincing bandit if you were asked any questions, Cas. No matter how we dressed you.” She leaned her head on his shoulder, and felt his hand on her hip. It was the truth, and she didn’t mean any disrespect by it. The hooded cloak and her black silk wrap may help, but they weren’t going to be enough of a disguise for him. She handed Casavir back the bow and arrows that he had bought for her, and he took them hesitantly.

She looked up into his beautiful soft blue eyes after Bishop had bound her hands. “As you say, my lady.” She had to blink a few times to bring herself back to the moment.

“Bishop, you take the lead rope and one arm. Cas, will you take my other? That should make me look like a captive, right?”

“Would you want me to gag you as well, ladyship?” He leaned in closer. “If it were me, I would want to hear you.” He ran a hand down her side, only pausing for a brief moment a s he spread his hand over her belly. There was no way that she was far enough along for him to have felt a kick from their little pup, but already just the possibility of her carrying his child brought about such a change in Bishop. “Or maybe I should take back my ring?”

She could almost hear Casavir rolling his eyes at Bishop’s comment. For a wonder Casavir didn’t seem offended that Bishop would act that forward with her anymore, just annoyed by the comments that he made occasionally.  _ Or is he jealous? Decide about your vows, Casavir, and maybe you will be able to be as jealous as you want then _ . “Shall we then, my fearless captors?” She bent her arms out so that each of them could grab her biceps.

“I hear footsteps, stay close to me.” Bishop whispered one of his oft-repeated comments to her absently, apparently forgetting the arrangement they had just agreed to, and how he was holding her. 

“Hard to get too far from you when you are gripping my arm like that, Bishop.” Casavir coughed behind her, but she was certain that it was more likely that he was choking back a laugh at her comment. 

“Then the disguise is working perfectly, although maybe you could use a gag.” He winked at her to let her know it was all in jest. Bishop quickly took care of the bandits in front of them with his bow, and Casavir kept a close watch on Hildr making sure that she did not stumble, since she would not be able to catch herself if she slipped on the stairs with her hands bound in front of her like that.

A feeling of dread filled her as they walked deeper and deeper into the hideout.  _ What if Thorn was just as bad as what Bishop had said? Am I ready for that? I will have to be now. There isn’t enough time to come up with a new plan, and none of us know what to expect around the next corner _ . Too soon they came upon what almost looked like an audience chamber. There was a large raised dias on one end of the room, and six men were standing arrayed on it, watching the three of them enter.  _ Were they waiting for us? _

“Well, well. Look who decided to show his face, boys! It seems you come bearing a gift… A peace offering perhaps? Mmm… she is quite the sight. I can’t wait to tear those clothes off her tempting body.” She felt Casavir tighten his grasp on her arm as they moved closer, outraged that anyone, much less someone Bishop knew, would talk about her like that in front of her. It was a tall muscular blond man wearing fur armor that only covered him from the waist down who spoke.  _ He must be Thorn, given that the other five men were arranged behind him _ . 

“So you’re Bishop’s old friend. Figures.” Casavir was grumbling half under his breath, closely mirroring what she was saying. She let her companions lead her closer to where Thorn was waiting for them. Casavir’s thumb was gently rubbing the inside of her arm, up by her armpit, where he was holding her. 

“A friend! Oh no, my little mouse. Far from it in fact.” The look on Thorn’s face was predatory at the very least. His voice was mocking. 

“You’re got it all wrong, Thorn. She’s not a mouse, I’d say she’s much more than that.” Bishop was doing his best not to sound proud of her.  _ Was he trying to sound like she had put up a fight for him to capture her and drag her here? Would that increase the bounty he could get for me? _

“Isn’t she? She is a woman, Bishop. Women are soft and delicate - that’s the purpose they serve. This little mouse here will serve hers. On my furs, tonight. Whether she likes it or not.”  _ Gods, was this where Bishop got some of his attitude toward women? This is sickening _ . _ At least it seems to have changed for the better since he found out I may be pregnant with his child.  _

“I see your powers of observation have not changed, Thorn. Still can’t see past your own image, can you?”

“Well it was my own image that defeated you, was it not?” Hildr was finally starting to notice that Thorn’s five henchmen were starting to fan out slightly, making enough space that they would be able to weird their weapons.  _ They are preparing for what is going to come next. I can only hope that Bishop and Casavir have both noticed as well. _ “You claim to be the best out there, but the truth is, you’re a pathetic, scared little rodent, not unlike the woman or your mute friend here. Anyone can see that.”

“Anyone as vain as you.” Bishop was quick with his retort.

“That, from the man that cares for no one but himself. Very well, let’s take a closer look at our little mouse here.” She could feel Casavir’s grip tighten on her arm again.  _ He doesn’t want Thorn any closer to me than he has to be _ . But Bishop’s tug at the rope around her wrist pulled her forward and out of Casavir’s grasp. She felt empty and completely alone without Casavir’s touch. 

Thorn’s fingers pulling her chin up into the light sickened her. His very touch made her feel dirty. “Oh, ho ho, what have we here? The almighty Dragonborn. Now this, this is certainly a peace offering, Bishop. The stories of how I conquered the Dragonborn will be told for ages to come.” She could feel her stomach turn and almost wished for a gag.  _ That would be enough to stop me from retching everywhere _ . Thorn’s hands were running down her sides and tugging up at the skirt of her dress like he wanted to conquer her right then and there in sight of the seven other men in the room. “And then, once I am finally done with her, I will bring her in and claim the price on her head - the gold will have me, us, set for life.”

“Is that so?” Bishop’s voice was too calm and measured. He crossed his arms and relaxed, shifting his weight onto his right leg, as if he was getting ready to pounce and attack.

“It is. I should thank you for presenting her to me.” Thorns hands were still gathering up her skirt, and she pulled back from him slightly.  _ If only Cas was close enough to pull me out of Thorn’s grasp. _

“And what do I get for this?” Bishop cocked an eyebrow at Thorn.  _ Oh no. He couldn’t really mean to betray me like this? Not now. Not while I may have his child. Could he?  _ She felt her confidence in him slip.  _ I have to mean more to him than just gold, or another night of drinking and not sleeping alone by now _ . Casavir was too far away from her for her to lean back into his comforting touch.  _ Surely Cas won't let Bishop sell me to this monster, right? _

“Oh… Perhaps I will let you have some fun with her as well. After me and my boys are done, of course.”

“You wish, Thorn.” Bishop spat the words at the other man.

“Would that attitude be wise, I wonder? You do remember what happened last time we spoke.” Bishop had told her about what had happened, and she shuddered remembering it. Thorn had left a sickening jagged scar from one shoulder to the opposite hip across Bishop’s back as a reminder that Bishop hadn’t won then, and what the price would be if he should fail again. The sickening jagged scar was at least part of the reason that Bishop had stuck to the wild fringes of Skyrim with only Karnwyr for a companion until she had joined them. It was also part of the reason that Bishop didn’t trust anyone. 

“You don’t want to fight me, Thorn. It’s been years since our last meeting. We fought to a draw that last time, but I've learned a lot since then. On the other hand, you’ve probably stayed hidden in the forest all these years, being the brave warrior you are, fighting bunny rabbits and squirrels.” Bishop’s voice was still too even and measured for her to like the sound of it. Bishop sounded like he was really considering the idea of handing her over to Thorn to be raped and eventually ransomed.  _ He wouldn’t really do that though, would he? _

“Funny you should mock me, Bishop. You know perfectly well how easy it would be for me to simply skin you alive. With your own hunting knife no less.”  _ Blessed Stendarr, are they really getting into a dick-measuring contest right now? _

“Let’s see, six to three, including her, bound as she is? Yeah. I like those odds. I should warn you though, if we are doing this, I am going to carve my name into that face of yours. That ought to tear the heart right out of you, huh?”

“Go ahead and try it.”

“If you are welcoming death today, I am sure that we would be only too happy to oblige.” Casavir had finally spoken even if he had not moved from where he had been when Hildr was tugged from his grasp.

“Kill Bishop and the other one if you must. I am taking the Dragonborn alive.” He reached out to grab a handful of her hair. “Oh the fun we will have together.” He purred the words in her ear, and she almost retched again. 

Thorn had her lead rope out of Bishop’s hands and threw her over his shoulder before she could begin to fight back. He left via a door in the back of the audience chamber they were in.  _ Where is he taking me? Oh, Mara, protect me. Protect us. _ Her prayers became more fervent as she realized that Thorn had taken her into a bedroom, and that there was no other exit from the small room. 

***********************

Thorn took the lead from the rope around her wrists and tied it to a hook above her head in the wall. Her arms were extended, and her shoulders strained under her weight. “Submit to me. Submit, or you will be sure to not enjoy this little mouse.” Hildr felt the tip of a dagger against the base of her throat. The pressure was just short of drawing blood.. Thorn’s other hand was pulling the skirt of her dress up again. Too soon he had a hand between her legs and was forcing her legs apart. She felt the tip of the dagger as it traced down her body and eventually was held against her thigh as Thorn stood between her legs. Bound as she was she could not see any real hope of fighting back.  _ Blessed Stendarr, Blessed Mara, protect me. Don’t let this monster hurt us. Give me strength.  _

_ No! I will not let him take me. Bishop! Casavir!  _ He was standing firmly between her legs now, stopping her from kicking him, and with her hands above her head like that she couldn’t knock him away. _ I don’t even have the strength or leverage to push him away from me.  _

"Yes, squirm like that. It is more fun when they try and fight back." Thorn rubbed her with his other hand as if he was getting her ready for him. His touch was rough and determined as if he could force her to be wet for him and enjoy his touch. Thorn ripped her panties off her and loosened his own trousers before plunging his fingers back into her. She wanted to scream, to fight back, to bite him for treating her like this.  _ Bishop! Cas! Hurry! _

_ If only he will come closer… _ As she thought it, Thorn leaned in closer, as if moving to kiss her neck. She felt her head connect with his before he staggered back. She felt a triumphant grin start to spread across her face before she realized he was not as far from her as she thought, and he was back in front of her. This time his dagger was at her womb instead of her thigh.

“You little bitch! If I can’t have you, little mouse, I won’t let anyone else have you ever again.” Thorn’s voice was too close to her ear. The hand that did not have the dagger in it was tangled in her hair, forcing her head back to look at him. She could feel the heat and hatred coming off of his body in waves. The dagger in his hand pierced through her, slashing her across her hips. 

_ NO! Not like this! Not my child!  _ She felt the blood pulse out of her, and she hung her head in defeat, letting the tears fall. 

Bishop killed the two men that tried to block the way to where Thorn had taken Hildr.  _ I will not let them take my family from me. She is mine, and she carries my child _ . _ Casavir can take care of the other three. I have seen him fight before, and not just a dragon. _ In truth Bishop had seen Casavir carve his way through a whole gang of bandits before, in full armor, barely breaking a sweat. 

Bishop ran into the room he had seen Thorn disappear into with Hildr. He wasn’t ready for what he saw, and didn’t believe that he would have been had he even anticipated it. Thorn had her strung up from a hook higher in the wall. Her hands were still bound, and above her head. Her toes just brushed the floor as she hung there. Thorn was pressing his dagger at the soft flesh between her hips, and had jerked her head back so that she could not look away from him. _ He wants to watch the light leave her eyes as she bleeds out _ . Bishop took a deep breath and aimed an arrow at the man’s throat.  _ I will not let him kill her. He will not take the both of them from me _ . Bishop let the arrow fly only a heartbeat too late. Thorn had rammed the dagger into Hildr, and pulled it from one hip bone to the other as the arrow took him in the throat and he fell. The weight of Thorn falling ripped the gash wider than was probably originally intended.

Bishop had her on the floor the instant he reached her. Thorn had slashed across her womb, and she was bleeding badly. Bishop used what he could of her skirt to try and stem some of the bleeding, pressing it into the wound. 

“CASAVIR!” If it took that man laying hands on her to save the both of them, so be it. “CASAVIR! QUICKLY! SHE’S HURT!”  _ She needs you _ . The thought hurt, but it was true. It was something that he couldn’t do for her. He would not be able to save her.  _ I will not lose her _ . 

Thorn was making gurgling noises where he lay dying on his back on the floor. It almost sounded like he was laughing and choking on his own blood. He doesn’t deserve a quick death.  _ I will carve my name in his face once I know that she is safe _ . 

Mercifully, Casavir rushed into the room where they both were not long after Bishop called for him. 

Casavir was finishing off the last of the bandits, splitting the man in half from shoulder to hip with his hand and a half sword, when he heard Bishop calling for him.

“CASAVIR! QUICKLY! SHE’S HURT!”  _ No, not my lady! It was a stupid idea of Bishop’s to come out here. I should never have let her talk me into agreeing with this. _ He barreled into the room, slamming the door open, and nearly off the hinges, to see the horror there. 

Bishop was kneeling next to her on the cold stone floor. His hands were on her, trying to stop the bleeding using her skirt as a field dressing, but she was still laying in a considerable pool of her own blood. Bishop had blood all over his hands and on his curais as well. Casavir was on his knees at her other side in a flash, casting healing spells on her as quickly as he wasable to say them. 

“Bishop, go get healing and magicka potions. All of them that you can find.” Casavir looked up and stopped healing her briefly to push Bishop away and get him moving. “He cut her deep! HURRY!” Bishop scrambled to his feet and was running out of the room as Casavir yelled after him. 

“Please, my lady. Hold on. You are strong, please just stay with me.” He was certain that she could not hear him, but he could not bear to be silent right now. If there was even a chance that she could hear him and stay with him, he would call her back to him. “I... love you. I need you, my lady. I am not certain that I can do this alone. Please stay with me.” 

Casavir was healing her, and noticed that there was something else that kept pulling at the spells as he cast them. He could feel his heart break, but he had to do it if he was going to save Hildr’s life. He reached in and pulled out a small mass, no larger than his thumb, from her wound before he started healing her again. “I am so sorry, my lady.” The healing went faster this time, and he felt muscles knit back together under his bare fingers.  _ I wish I wasn’t right. Hopefully that won’t hurt her more than the wound. Hildr, I am so  _ _ sorry that I had to make that decision for you, but I am not about to let you die. I am going to have to ask her forgiveness for doing that, if she even knew. If there was any other way…  _ Casavir could feel the tears start down his cheeks, and fall onto her dress. 

************************

He looked down at his work. Where she had been cut open, a thick jagged scar remained. “I am sorry, my lady. Please forgive me, but I could not let you die.” Casavir reached down and rubbed her cheek, smearing blood over her face in a gentle motion. He tried to wipe the blood away, but it only made it worse. Some tears dropped from his eyes and they fell in the blood on her face, leaving clean trails as they slid over her cheeks.  _ She would hurt when she woke up, but she was safe now. No matter what else, she was alive. Even if she hates me now, she can live to hate me, and I can live with that. Does Bishop know? Would he be able to forgive me for this?  _ As if summoned by Casavir’s thoughts, Bishop returned just then with an armful of potions.  Casavir couldn't look up at Bishop.  _ Arkay, Akatsoh, Stendarr, Mara, forgive me for what I have done, but I did it for her. May he understand and forgive me as well. _

“Give her a health potion first, then magicka. I will need a magicka too if you can spare it.” Bishop handed a magicka potion to Casavir. Casavir sat back as he drank the potion quickly. If he needed to heal her again, he needed his magicka back. Bishop ripped the cork out of the health potion bottle with his teeth and spat the cork across the room, towards where Thorn lay dead. Casavir finally managed to look at Bishop as he forced the health potion down Hildr’s throat, stroking her neck to make her swallow. Bishop was cradling her in his arms, holding her close, and not caring about being covered in her blood. "Did you know?" Casavir’s voice was thick, and he was looking at Hildr again, at her laying in a pool of her own blood that soaked into her dress, and at his work across her hips. Her dress was still cut open, showing the twisted scar that had stolen her child and possibly her chance at a peaceful future with Bishop from her. Mercifully the cut had not been as deep as he had first feared, but it had met the target all the same. The thought at what had happened hurt him far more than he had ever expected that something like this ever would. “Did she tell you…”

Bishop ripped the cork out of the magicka bottle, and began to force Hildr to drink that as well. "She only just told me, back at Sky Haven Temple, but she still wasn't sure…” Bishop took a long shaky breath. “Is she still...?"

Casavir swung his head sadly. "Thorn's dagger would have taken them both, but she should be fine.” His voice was still thick and his words did not seem to soothe the other man. “I am sorry Bishop. If there was any way I could have..."

"Leave." Bishop’s voice was low and dangerous. Casavir should have stayed and comforted the man, but Bishop would have fought against it. Bishop didn’t look at Casavir when he said it, he did not even move his eyes from Hildr, as if she would somehow disappear if he didn’t watch her closely. 

"I will keep watch outside. Come get me if she doesn't wake soon." With one final look at Hildr still unconscious in Bishop’s arms, Casavir walked out of the hideout and into the foggy, misty day. 

~~~~~

Bishop was crying over her when she woke back up, stroking her hair, and playing with his ring that she still wore. She remembered her worry when Thorn stabbed her, and she tried to move more upright in his arms. "Take it slow, Hildr. You are still weak, and need to rest and recover. I don't think I would be able to not kill Casavir if I had to look at him right now, even if you did need him to heal you again." 

“Bishop? What happened?” She finally noticed the blood that covered her around her hips, and was soaked in patches along her dress as well as the gash that crossed her dress where she had been sliced open. Bishop’s hands were still covered in blood, as was his curais.  _ My blood _ . “Thorn…” 

“Not just Thorn, Sweetness. That Paladin carries just as much of the blame. He probably didn’t even try to save… save our child.” Bishop sounded like he was about to start sobbing again.

“He did what he could, I am sure.” Hildr cooed at him, trying to reassure him and stop him from crying again.

“Don’t defend him. You can’t be sure…”

“And neither can you, Bishop. But if it was jealousy or hatred or whatever you would want to think it was that was the reason he wouldn’t save our child, he did save me. I am still here. We can still try and have children. We could still start a family. And Casavir is the reason why that is still an option.” She reached up and stroked Bishop’s cheek, covering a tear streak left in her blood. 

“This is the second time Casavir has taken family from me. There will not be a third.” He muttered it to himself, and she was not sure that he had meant for her to hear.  _ Now is not the time to press him for details. _

“He didn’t take me Bishop. We still have a chance.” She smoothed his hair back, adding more flecks of dried blood while removing others. She let him hold her on his lap and held him in return until his tears finally stopped, as well as her own. When she started to feel stronger, she started with her questions. 

“Where is Casavir?”  _ He should get a chance to defend himself against Bishop’s accusations. _ Hildr would not pass or sit in judgement without hearing both sides of the argument. If she had been like that she would have left Bishop behind to sit and rot in a jail cell back in Whiterun.

“Hopefully gone.” Bishop sighed at her challenging look. “He said he was going out to keep watch until you woke up.” Bishop still held her protectively against his chest, and was stroking her hair. He shifted her weight so that her back was against his chest, and pulled his arms back around her, not pressing too hard. He rubbed the scar across her hips lightly and hesitantly. She put her hands on his, pulling his arms tighter around her, and welcoming the idea of being treasured so by her Ranger.  _ I will not fear his touch. Thorn was wrong, Bishop doesn’t care only for himself _ . 

“Will you let me go talk to him?” She leaned further back against Bishop, letting him wrap himself around her and keep her safe. Bishop kissed along her shoulder and neck in response. 

“I don’t think I would be able to stop you if you really wanted to go to him. You may want to do something about this first.” Bishop ran a finger along her still exposed lower abdomen through the slash from Thorn’s dagger. “His holiness may disapprove.” Hildr blushed when she looked down and noticed just how much of her blue dress had been cut open.  _ Casavir would have gotten more than an eye full if he saw me right now. At least there was some urgency when I was hurt so he couldn’t notice _ . 

“Will you help me up, Bishop? I am not going to get any stronger sitting here on the floor with you.” Bishop scooped her up in his arms instead of letting her try and stand on her own. He held her tight to his chest, as if the extra pressure made her more permanent. She leaned into Bishop more heavily in response to his touch, and wrapped an arm around his neck as well. “Let me grab a cloak or a blanket on the way out?” _I will not let the memory of Thorn’s touch make me fear a touch from Bishop. Or Casavir if he would be able to forgive himself and touch me as well_. 

“Yes. And I will take you to where I am sure he is waiting for you, Princess. I just…” 

“You don’t have to come with me, Bishop. I will be fine on my own.”  _ I don’t think he would do anything now that he knows what kind of a claim you had on me. Even if Casavir did save me from following my child _ . 

“No, darling. Where you go, I go.” He gave her a light chaste kiss on the lips. “Now, let’s cover you up, and see what Casavir has to say for himself.” 

~~~~~

Casavir was sitting a little way out in front of Thorn’s cave, as he had told Bishop he would be. He spent the time there alone, praying.  _ Blessed Mara, forgive me for what I have done. Please let Hildr forgive me. Let her understand that I did what I had to to save her life. My sweet lady, forgive me. I pray Bishop will give you another child. Or I will, if you would want me to. If she can even look at me, that is. If she will forgive me, I will do anything to make that up to her. Anything. If she ordered me to pull the stars from the heavens for her, I would go without a second thought. I would run to the embrace of Hermaeus Mora or Molag Bal if it would mean her forgiveness, as well as even a chance to stay by her side. My sweet lady, please forgive me.  _

_ I am supposed to help and protect the innocent, and I had just failed to do what I was sworn to. I took an innocent life. I took her child from her. If I knew that she was pregnant, I would have never agreed to this. If only I had confronted her about it back at Sky Haven Temple, maybe then I wouldn’t have innocent blood on my hands. _

_ No, her child was already dead, and that death was Thorn’s responsibility. I saved her from following her child. I should have tried harder to save both of them. My lady, forgive me.  _

As if his prayers had summoned her, she appeared before him. She had a fur cloak that was not hers wrapped tightly around herself, and she moved as if each step may cause her to fall.  _ At least she can walk _ . Bishop was hovering behind Hildr, an arm extended to catch her in case she were to falter. When Bishop was not looking as if he alone could protect Hildr in that instant, he shot looks that could have killed at Casavir. _ And it is no wonder. Bishop blames me for the loss of their child as much as he would Thorn. I did not land the blow that killed the babe, but Bishop blames me for not saving them both _ . Casavir slowly rose as she came closer to him. _ If she falls on her way to me, I will catch her, if only to give her back to Bishop. I am sure that she does not want my touch right now. Not after what I have done _ . 

Hildr stopped when she was right in front of Casavir. Bishop had stopped a few paces from him, and Casavir looked like he was grateful to be out or range of Bishop’s fist. Casavir shifted his weight, and looked ready to dart forward and grab her if she started to sway.

“My lady, are you sure you should be up? You do not look strong enough yet.” Casavir’s eyes were red rimmed and puffy, and there was blood still smeared on his face, as well as some in his hair.  _ My blood. From when he saved my life _ . He must have been crying just as hard as Bishop had for just as long, only there was no solace for him to find out here.  _ My poor, sweet knight. Please know that I won’t blame you for what someone else stole from me.  _

“I need to speak with you. Alone.” She looked over her shoulder. “Bishop, can you go get me something else to wear. Please?” Bishop hesitated, but must have seen something in her eyes, since he nodded to her before turning back to where they had left their belongings in the woods. 

_ This is it. If she commands me to fall upon my own sword, I will _ . “As you wish, my lady.” He held out his arms to her after Bishop left.  _ I will have to catch her if she falters _ . “Whatever you would wish of me, you only need to say the word and it is yours. I…” He swallowed past a lump in his throat. “I would give anything, even my life, if it meant your forgiveness for what I did.” He didn’t realize that he had closed his eyes and fallen to his knees before her until he felt her calloused fingers brush a tear from his cheek. She cupped his chin in one hand, and delicately turned his face back up so that he would look at her. 

“Casavir. You saved my life. If anything, I owe you for what you have done for me.” She rubbed his cheek softly, smearing more blood on his face. “Will you please stand?” A wry grin twisted her lips. “I may fall if I have to keep looking down at you like this.” That last from her was more than enough for him to rise. 

He still held out his arms for her.  _ If she wishes for my touch, she may have it, but I will not force it on her _ . As if in answer, she leaned into his chest, and rubbed his sides. His arms hesitantly went around her. “I have no right to ask, my lady, but if you could find it in your heart…”

“Thank you,” she murmured into his chest. 

“I will do anything to make this up to you, my lady.”  _ I will do anything to make you happy _ . He was stroking her hair with one hand and held her close to him with the other on her lower back. “If there was anything that I could have done differently, I would have. If I could…” A finger rested on his lips and stopped him from continuing. 

“You did what you could. It looks like you have been taking this as hard as Bishop. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know…”  _ She didn’t know how to make it sound like she wasn’t helping Bishop gloat that she was his. She is too good to me. There is nothing that I could do to ever make me worthy of her _ . 

“None of that now, my lady. If you wish me to go, you need only ask.” He loosened his hold on her, unsure if she would want him to continue to hold her. 

“Never, Casavir.” She turned her head and kissed his neck. His shirt was suddenly damp around the collar. He held her close and kissed her forehead while she stood there and cried. 

When Bishop returned, Hildr had cried out this second round of tears for her loss. She walked back inside, leading Bishop by the hand. Casavir had told her she needed to eat something, and when she stubbornly refused to cooperate with him, he forced a small hard apple from his pack on her. He would not let her give it back to him, and for a wonder even Bishop told her that she should eat it. Between the two of them and their insistence, she had to take a bite before they would let her go get changed in Thorn’s hideout.

“Bishop. About Thorn.” She stopped as she was changing back into her shirt and trousers just inside the hideout. It took some effort since she was still sore, but she couldn’t stay in the blood soaked dress any longer. Bishop wasn’t as handsy as he usually was when she was changing in front of him.  _ He is probably unsure how safe I feel with him right now, given how he found me. Not to mention how he seemed eager to get the gold on my head. Even holding his hands to me earlier didn’t help. _

“That son of a bitch got what he deserved. Had it coming for a long time.” Bishop was looking down a side hallway deeper into the hideout, where Thorn laid dead. Bishop’s name was carved in Thorn’s face, just as he had promised. “Hey… what’s with that look? You alright?” He was suddenly right against her, holding her still between his chest and the wall behind her. 

“That thing you told Thorn. What you would get in return for handing me over…” She swallowed hard. 

“Yeah… about that.” He looked abashed, and on the edge of rubbing the back of his neck. “I was buying us time, woman. Playing along to lower his guard. We were outnumbered if you hadn’t noticed, and you were in no condition to fight.” He leaned his forehead against hers, looking deep into her emerald eyes. “I needed to think of something to keep us all from being killed. Do you really have so little faith in me that you think I would do something like that, or let anything happen to you or…” She rubbed his side from his shoulder to his hip. She could already hear the tears starting to well up in his eyes again. She knew that Bishop’s name wasn’t the only one carved on Thorn’s corpse. He had carved ‘Jalayna’ across Thorn’s chest as well.  _ He had picked a name already _ . 

“I had to be sure, Bishop. I shouldn’t have doubted you.” She had leaned into him, resting her forehead against his and said as much as kissed the words to him. 

“We do make a pretty good team, though, sweetness. I am glad that you can trust me like that.” He pulled her gently against his chest, and kissed the top of her head. _ I love you, Hildr. Not just because you carried my child for the brief time I knew of her, but for so, so much more _ . “The path ahead of us will not be an easy one, but together, we can do anything. I know we can.”  _ As soon as you will want me back in your bed, sweetness, I will make sure that you have another child to replace the one stolen from us, and as many more children as you would want _ . 

“I only need you to do one thing first, Bishop.” She placed her hands on his shoulders as she leaned against him. 

“Name it, and you will have it done, Princess.” He agreed almost instantly, enjoying the warmth of her pressed up against him. He braced himself with one hand on the rough stone wall as he pulled her closer to himself. 

“Forgive Casavir.” 

Bishop sighed. “Princess…” 

“That is all that he wants right now Bishop. He is tearing himself apart over this.” She held his face in her hands, not letting him look away from her. “What if this were to happen again?” Bishop went stiff at the idea. “What if something were to happen to me, and he is too afraid to heal me because of this? Could you live with that?”

Bishop’s mouth worked a while before he could finally answer. He swallowed loudly. “No.” He sighed, accepting that there was no way around this. “Does it have to be right now? Can we wait until it is on the road? I don’t want to be in this place any longer than I have to be.”

“Alright, but before we get to High Hrothgar. The sooner the better.” She took one last look at her ruined dress and threw it in the fire before gliding out of the place, Bishop just behind her. Casavir followed after them at a good distance when they returned from Thorn’s hovel, and continued on their way.


	31. A Dark and Lonely Place

Hildr led the way back down to where they had tied the horses in a small hollow with a shallow pool. She knelt at the edge of the water and washed what blood she could see in her reflection from her face. She fished around in her pack and pulled out a small rag and soaked it in the clear cold water as well. She wiped her face again before she wrung it out, dampened it again, and held it out to Bishop. He took it without protest and cleaned the worst of the blood from his face as well before letting her get what he had missed. He looked as if he had wanted to hold her right then, but with what had just happened to her, he looked worried that he would hurt her somehow.  _ Or he is afraid that I would not want his touch? _ Bishop quickly readied Kara and went to scout the road to make sure that they were safe. 

Casavir arrived shortly after Bishop had left, having re-dressed in his plate armor again. He had taken the black silk wrap off, and shyly held it out to her, not looking her in the eye as he did. “I am sorry, my lady. I fear it is stained now.” She took it, and dropped it in the pool behind her to soak for a few moments without a second thought. _ It is not as precious to me as you are, Casavir. _

“Cas, will you look at me?” She wanted to reach out and turn his face towards her, but was almost afraid of what she would see if she did. She had the rag ready, she just needed a good view of his face to get the blood off. He closed his eyes for a moment before he turned to face her. He looked so sad, and almost broken when she met his eyes. Most of the blood was already gone.  _ He must have already wiped his face clean, or as well as he could.  _ Hildr dabbed at the few spots of blood that remained, gently holding his face towards her as she worked. “Will you still travel with me, Cas?” Casavir didn’t answer her, he only looked away as she still held his face towards her, and ran the rag over his already clean face again. She sighed, understanding that he would not make that commitment, worried about how she felt about keeping him with her. She let her hand run over his cheek before she let go of him. “Very well then. We should head out.” Hildr cleaned out the rag she had used on their faces, as well as the silk wrap, and they both mounted in silence before following after Bishop.

The three of them rode back through Falkreath in silence, at a loss for what to say to one another right now. Each was wrapped in their own grief. Casavir led the way, unable to let himself be close to his lady right then, not after what he had done. Bishop rode at her side, close enough that their knees could touch. Bishop was sparing with his touch, almost as if not sure if she would want it yet. 

When they reached the crossroads, Casavir stopped and waited for the other two to approach. Hildr nudged Mist to a trot to wait for Bishop beside her knight. She reached out and touched his arm as she stopped.  _ He and his order are from Cyrodiil, and I cannot let him slip through my fingers already. _ Casavir turned his head to look at her when she touched him, but dropped his gaze to Justice’s mane immediately after he met her eyes. His eyes were still red and puffy from an almost constant stream of tears. If Justice had not been able to stay on the road by himself, Casavir would surely be in a ditch somewhere right now. Bishop rode up to her other side after a long moment.  _ Bishop probably had stopped to pout for a moment before coming back to my side. _

“To Helgen. We can sleep there tonight.” Hildr made good on her words and started their little band up the road to the ruined fort. Bishop rode on ahead, leaving her with Casavir. 

"Are you sure that is wise, my lady?" Casavir was still intent on Justice's mane in front of him.

"Staying there? Probably not, but I do not want to stay out in the open if I can help it. Besides there should be warm beds somewhere in the keep, and being off the road for a few days will do us all some good. Keeping you with me is certainly a wise choice, and the closer you are to my side to protect me, Cas, the wiser that choice is. Your sword is the only protection I need or want, remember?” She rubbed his arm again, determined to see him smile at her before they got to the keep. "C'mon Casi. Want to race?" She let Mist frisk a few steps as if to encourage him.

He tried to give her a weak smile in response, but failed miserably. She led Mist back to his side, and walked beside him the rest of the way to the gate of the ruined fort. She reached out and squeezed his arm under his pauldron as they rode, making sure to let him know that she did not blame him, and would not let him grieve alone. 

They rode on in silence, riding straight through the small open side gate in the side of Helgen’s wall. Kara was waiting there, just inside the wall, hidden beside one of the few buildings that was still standing. Bishop was dashing out of view around another building, bow readied, and arrow drawn. Once Hildr and Casavir had dismounted, leaving their mounts with Kara, Bishop was already deeper into the ruin. Two dead bandits lay in front of Kara when Hildr and Casavir dismounted. Hildr hurried after Bishop as he snaked through the ruins, and she provided covering fire for him. Bishop was able to take care of most of the bandits in Helgen single-handed. 

Once all of the bandits were cleared out of the ruins, Hildr helped Casavir pile and burn the bodies. “They may be bandits, but they are still people. They deserve their last rights, and the blessings of Arkay.” Casavir had been adamant on that point, and she shot a look at Bishop to stop him from starting an argument on this point. She made sure to loot what was left on the corpses if there was anything worthwhile. Casavir never seemed to notice what she was doing.

As Casavir prayed and the bodies burned, Hildr walked off to take care of the horses. She couldn’t condone leaving such faithful steeds out in the elements, at least not any more than was absolutely necessary. Hildr checked through a few of the abandoned homes until she found a space with enough of a roof that they would stay warm and dry should it rain while they camped there. 

She brushed out all three of them, starting with Mist. Her paint mare was spirited according to most of the grooms that she had left her mare with when she could afford to leave her in the stables, but the mare never danced away from her rider’s touch. Hildr watched over the Mist’s back as Casavir was continuing his prayers over the bodies on the pyre for their last rites. He had decided to do this kindness, and was determined to see it through. Hildr watched him staring into the flames, a determined look on his face. The chance to watch Casavir and make sure he was okay was at least part of the reason that she had picked this location for a stable. 

After she was done brushing out Mist, she turned her attention to Justice. She knew that this would be something the trained warhorse would allow now, even if he would not allow her to ride him. The Stallion seemed to remember her scent from the morning they left Sky Haven Temple. She figured that it would be safest to approach the stallion as Casavir did, and was sure to take her time, and speak to the stallion at length, complimenting him on his coat, and how good he was. If she had remembered some of the love poems that she had heard Casavir recite, she would have said them as well. She noticed the braids that Casavir had done in the stallion’s mane and made sure to praise the horse for that as well.  _ I will have to praise Casavir for them later _ . 

Kara was the last to be brushed out. The little chestnut mare that Hildr had bought for Bishop seemed to love the attention that she got when it was her turn to be brushed out, even if she did seem impatient. This little mare was certainly always a problem for grooms based on how she danced slightly before deciding that she was ready to be brushed out. Once Hildr finally got the mare to cooperate, she got to work.  _ Bishop should be back to do this himself, he needs to bond with Kara outside of just riding her. I did get her specifically for him. Well, at least specifically so that we could have peace in our merry little band as we rode along. No doubt he and Karnwyr are doing a sweep around the fort to make sure that we aren’t going to have any surprises. Maybe they will also get some rabbits for tonight as well _ . Hildr sighed as she realized that she was done with the three horses, and had stored all of the tack in a smaller room off to the side of where the horses were tied. All that was left now was to take their packs and see if the beds were still where she remembered them when she was fleeing for her life. 

After some backtracking, Hildr was able to find the barracks that she had run into with Hadvar when she was running for her life as Helgen burned. There were four beds there, just as she remembered. She threw her pack into one of the middle beds.  _ Let them fight over the other two beds to either side. _ She took a deep breath, thinking of how much had changed in her life since then. Memories of everything that had happened since she was last here flashed through her mind. She shook her head to dispel the memories, as if the movement itself would knock them free of her mind. When she opened her eyes again, three quarterstaffs propped in a corner caught her eye.  _ How kind of the bandits to leave me exactly what I need. Maybe that will help to improve their moods if sleeping here in warm beds for a few nights won’t be enough.  _

After getting their packs and belongings stored, Hildr thought that maybe some more fresh air would help to clear her mind. Hildr decided to walk back around the fort. It would at least be safer there than walking down the road. About half way through her wandering she started remembering when she was first there. She stopped when she saw the block still where it had been that day. Lokir running. The first man going to the headsman. Being called second. Kneeling before the block. Watching Alduin fly over the fort before landing on the tower. She remembered the ground shaking. Fire falling around her. Ralof yelling. Dragging her to her feet. She scrambled to her feet, running to the tower much the same as when Ralof half dragged her. Once she was back in the tower she braced herself against the wall. She hadn’t heard the footsteps behind her, and was surprised to feel the embrace of strong arms. 

“My lady? What is it? What is wrong?” There was a hand in her hair, and another on her back, pulling her against a piece of cold metal. “I am here. I will protect you. I promise.”

Hildr’s arms went around him in turn, pulling Casavir closer. “Cas.” She sounded like she was whimpering in pain as she held him in response.  _ There are too many memories here. Too many ghosts. The little boy who lost his father to dragon’s fire. The look on the boy’s face was still vivid after all this time…  _

He pushed her away from his chest gently, but kept a hand on her for as long as possible to keep her from running again. “Do not worry, my lady.” He hurriedly began to strip off his plate and mail, leaving it all in a pile in the tower in a series of clattering crashes. He pulled her back against his padded surcoat, just as tightly as she had been holding him moments ago. One arm wrapped around her shoulders, while his other hair tangled in her hair again. “I will protect you. I will keep you safe with my dying breath if I must.” He had thought about it many times since he saved her life, and he never wavered in his decision. _ I love you my lady, if you could ever forgive me and love me in return _ . He kissed her hair as he held her, trying to keep himself from crying again over what he had done to save her life.  _ If I could kiss away all your pain and sorrow, my lady, I would. No matter the cost. _

“Cas. I am so sorry.” She pulled him closer to herself, holding him tight.  _ I don’t ever want him to feel like he is not welcome by my side, no matter what Bishop may do to him _ . “Please… Please forgive me.” She sobbed into his padded shoulder, feeling like a small girl in her mother’s embrace.

“There is nothing that you have done to forgive, my lady. I am the one who needs your forgiveness, if you will grant it.” He kissed her hair and forehead again, and his thumb was rubbing nervously back and forth through her hair at the back of her neck. 

Hildr felt the hand in her hair drop down to the side of her neck after a long moment, and his thumb pressed her jaw gently to force her head back so that she would look at him. “I already have, Cas. I never blamed you for what happened. You saved my life when Thorn killed my child.” She buried her face in his neck. “I am sorry that I didn’t make Bishop forgive you as well.” She kissed his neck. “Please don’t ever leave me.”

“Never, my lady. You have my word.” His hand was back in her hair, and he was rubbing his other hand across her back as he held her. “We can stay here, like this, for as long as you need or want.” 

Casavir let her kiss his neck and shoulder as he held her close.  _ How afraid of this place is she if she would act like this? I know that she was a prisoner here, and she told me about the horsethief, Lokir, who was killed when he ran. She was here with Ulfric. But surely there is more to her reaction than just those memories. Bishop said something about her seeing a dragon here. Could that be part of what she feared? Or what she mentioned in Rorikstead?  _ He rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head.  _ If she wants me to know, she will tell me _ . 

He murmured softly to her, still trying to calm her as best he was able. Not even his whispered sweet nothings or love poems seemed to have an effect on her, and usually she fell asleep to them. He tried humming that song from the concert, but that did not rouse her either.  _ Maybe… _ He gently pulled her away from the wall where she had been standing, and moved so that he stood there instead. “You are safe, Hildr. I will keep you safe.” She seemed to relax at his words, and pushed him against the wall. “Always. I promise.” He thought of what Ulfric would do, and hesitantly he leaned forward and gently bit at the top of her ear, rolling it back and forth between his teeth. _ What am I doing? _

Hildr moaned loudly in response and rubbed her hips against his, her hands tight on his sides.  _ Was that the response I wanted? It was certainly not what I had expected _ . He chuckled, figuring that would be Ulfric’s response, but did not make any other move that would have encouraged her to react any further. He simply stood there, biting the inside of his lip very hard to keep his thoughts in hand, and holding her until she relaxed.  _ It may be a losing battle, but I will not give in, not yet. Not until I know that she would want that from me. Then I would be more than willing to give her what she wants _ . 

“It is getting dark, my lady. We should go back to the keep.” He slowly loosened his grasp on her, and waited to see if she would let him go as well. Thankfully she did not immediately jump away from him  but stayed, circled in his arms, still holding him in return, until he decided to kiss her forehead. He picked her up and carried her back to the keep.  _ My armor will just have to wait _ . 

Casavir got turned around once while he was walking through the ruined fort.  _ No wonder, I only made it to her side because I was following her. My poor lady. What a rough day you have had. If only I had a way to make it better for you. If only there was something that I could do for you, that you would accept from me to help soothe this pain _ . At some point as he was walking, and carrying her close to his chest, she fell asleep in his arms, her head resting against his padded shoulder. He pushed the door open with a light kick, not wanting to even partially let go of her.  _ I hope you sleep well, my lady, if only I could let you sleep in my arms tonight. Bishop would kill me if I tried. _

Since he had claimed the bed against the wall, and therefore closest to the door, he gingerly placed her in the bed next to his. He stood over her and admired her for a moment before he took his surcoat off and stored it in the chest at the foot of his bed with his pack. After a moment, he fished around in her pack and to pull out the playing cards that she always had with her these days.  _ I should wait up until Bishop returns, and the cards will help pass the time.  _ They were not in her pack or in her saddle bags.  _ She has them in her pocket then. _ Casavir took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to do. He started by rubbing the back of his hand down her side to see if he could feel the deck of cards through her quilted armor. When he was certain that he did not feel anything, he reached over to her other side and repeated his search. Finally he decided to check and see if there were any pockets across the front of her armor. He undid the ties at her hip and breast before he pulled her armor open to get a look at the lining. He found the deck of cards that he was looking for, and then saw how his lady was laying.

She was asleep on her back, the armor, now unlaced, shirt loose, and her hair splayed out behind her.  _ If not for what I had just done, or what I am, I would be very tempted to join her, and wake in each other’s arms. _ He took the cards, laying them on the table between their beds, before he turned back to her. _ I can not just leave her to sleep in her armor. There is no way that she would be comfortable like that. _ He reached down and undid the other tie at her hip, and slid the robe from her shoulders. He had to slide her sleeves off one at a time as he held her against his chest, and in order to get the robe out from underneath her, he moved her onto his bed before folding her armor to go in the chest with the rest of her belongings. When he turned back to her, he found that she had moved and was curled against the wall, hugging his pillow close to her chest. He reached down and picked her up, careful of where he held her, before he laid her back down in her own bed, and pulled the covers up to her chin. He looked at her as she slept, and rolled back on her side to face him with a quiet moan. “Sweet dreams, my sweet lady.” He leaned down to her, and brushed her hair back from her face before he gave her a quick kiss on her temple. Since he was now without a pillow, he moved to the furthest bed and took the pillow to replace the one she had cuddled with and he had not had the heart to take back from her. He sat back on his bed and started to play a matching game of cards while waiting for Bishop.

Bishop returned later that night, without any fresh kill. Karnwyr bounded into the room as well, and settled himself on the bed at the end of the line, farthest from Casavir. If he did not know any better, he would say that the wolf looked happy to have his own bed for the night, and did not seem to notice the missing pillow. Bishop, however, did not share Karnwyr’s enthusiasm. Bishop had told Casavir before that he was not able to sleep when he did not have Hildr in his arms. The longer that Casavir traveled with the both of them, the more inclined he was to believe it. _ I have seen how he looks in the mornings when she slept with me instead. _ Bishop acted as if it were a personal affront. And perhaps it was.  _ If he had even suspected that she was pregnant with their child… I believe I would act the same way if our roles were reversed. If there was a chance that she carried my child, I would not let her out of my arms for even an hour more than necessary. _

Casavir sighed when Bishop shot him a vicious glare. “We should not have come here. There are too many terrible memories for her here.” 

Bishop scoffed. “Like you would know the meaning of terrible memories, Paladin.” Bishop was at the side of his bed, and taking off his armor for the night, stowing his dagger under his pillow. 

Casavir shook his head, not wanting to have that conversation with Bishop right now. Casavir collected the cards off the bed in front of him and placed them back on the table in a single stack. With one last look at where Hildr laid in the bed next to him, he rolled over, pulling the covers up over himself and tried to get comfortable enough to sleep. 

Casavir hurried down a long dark hallway, passing closed doors as he ran. _She had to be here somewhere._ He had just seen her as she was running down this hallway, her red hair seemingly caught in her wake. He could still smell her rose soap in the air, but he could not see or hear her. _Had she gotten that far ahead of me already?_ _Where are the little ones?_ “Isabella? Luca? Rosa?” None of his children answered him when he called out to them. _Our children._ Both of his daughters were just as beautiful as their mother, and his son was strong like him. He could hear their names echoing down the hallway, and there was a faint ring of their laughter in response, far in the distance. He started running into the darkness towards where he had heard their laughter. They were just here as well. _Had she found them? Was she hiding with them? Why would she be running and hiding?_

_ From me. _ Casavir looked at his hands, surprised that there was enough light to see claws where his nails should be.  _ No!  _ He ran to the single mirror hung on the wall. The reflection before him looked vaguely like himself, but he had horns like a demora, and fangs like a vampire.  _ I am a monster!  _ He sunk his claws into his face, and ribbons of skin curled under his fingers. 

Casavir woke with a start, sitting upright in the bed and panting. He hesitantly raised a hand to his face, and was more relieved than he would have liked to admit that there were no gashes or scars there. He hugged his knees to his chest and hung his head for a few moments while he tried to calm himself. He was relieved to see that both Hildr and Bishop were still asleep in the beds next to him, and while Karnwyr was awake, the wolf only looked at him with a tilted head. Casavir rose, grabbed his surcoat and sword and went out into the predawn darkness to gather his armor, then pray, and practice his sword forms. 

Hildr woke in a bed in the keep, not completely sure how she had gotten there, or why she was curled around a second pillow. The last thing that she had remembered she was with Casavir in Helgen’s keep.  _ He had held me when I was panicking from the memories coming back to the surface. I should not have come back here, and I should not have brought them with me.  _ She looked around, first noticing the empty bed that she was facing.  _ So someone is awake already. _ Rolling over she saw Bishop in the bed on her other side, and Karnwyr in the last bed. The wolf looked rather happy as he was sprawled out on his side as if he were cuddled against her, but enjoying having a whole bed to himself.  _ So it is Casavir who is awake then. Where has he gone?  _ She sat up, seeing that his pack and saddle bags were still in the chest at the foot of the bed.  _ So he hasn’t left my side, thank Mara _ . Suddenly she realized that she was no longer wearing her quilted armor, and found it in the trunk at the foot of her bed as well, folded and carefully put away.  _ He must have not wanted me to sleep in my armor. And was feeling bold enough to undress me after the day that I had yesterday. If only he could pluck up the same courage when I am awake _ . 

She pulled on her armor and sword belt before she walked out of the keep after Casavir. He was practicing out in the open square in front of the keep. Hildr leaned against the wall and watched. Casavir moved from one sword form to the next slowly at first, but his motions became faster as he repeated them several times.  _ It almost looks like he is training his muscles to make these responses that much more automatic _ . After a few minutes of watching him, Hildr noticed that his movements started to become choppier, and less fluid.  _ How long has he been out here? Was he even able to sleep last night? My sweet knight, what can I do to help care for you? _ She waited a little while longer before she carefully approached him, silently drawing her own sword as if to duel him. He did not seem to notice her until she was in range and blocked one of his attacks with her own sword. The clang of metal on metal echoed through the square and seemed to pull Casavir back to his senses.

“My lady. I am sorry that I did not see you there.” Casavir blushed and scratched the back of his neck with his off hand and set the tip of the sword in the dirt in front of him. “Is there anything that you would wish of me this morning?”

“Do you think I would be able to heal any more serious injuries yet?” She batted her lashes at him pretending to look innocent as she asked.  _ There is a great deal I would wish of you, Cas, but that is not why I am here right now.  _

“I am not sure, my lady. But… I will heal you should you need it.” He bowed his head to her to confirm that he meant it.  _ And I will heal you, Cas. I promise _ . 

Hildr took up a dueling position across from Casavir, and saluted with her own sword. Casavir returned the salute with his hand and a half sword, before settling into a defensive posture. Hildr swung her sword in a circle before she gripped it in both hands and lunged forward towards him. Casavir deflected her blow easily, turning to follow where she stepped when she passed him. Hildr kept her footing easily, and her blade was met with his as he defended his legs from her attack. She smiled at him, and slowly side stepped forward to run her blade against his in an almost playful move. Casavir took a hesitant step forward, and swung his blade at her. She easily deflected his swing, and countered him.  _ If you will only come in closer to me, Cas, I can show you what I can really do. _

It took a few more rounds of back and forth poses, but eventually Hildr managed to get well within reach of Casavir. She was able to force Casavir’s sword from him with a punch to the inside of his wrist. With a predatory smile she slid in closer to him. She hooked her fingers in the top of his breastplate and pulled his lips closer to her. “It looks like I won, Casavir. What should I ask for in return?” She held Casavir’s face very close to her own, but he turned his face from her. She kissed his cheek before letting him go. “Come on Cas, we should get breakfast. I am sure Bishop is up by now.” 

She took Casavir by the hand, and quickly healed his wrist where she had punched him. Casavir followed her obediently back into the keep and down to the kitchen for breakfast. They ate in an awkward silence. Hildr was only able to break it by voicing her desire for a training session with true quarterstaffs later.

~~~

Bishop was still standing at the side of the practice ring, refusing to enter and spar with her. “No Princess. I won’t fight you.” He turned to where Casavir was waiting for his turn in the sparring ring. “You. Paladin.” He spat the words. Bishop spun his quarterstaff end over end menacingly, before couching it in an underhand grasp, the quarterstaff sideways across his shoulders. Casavir slowly nodded in acknowledgement to Bishop, before he leaned his quarterstaff against his shoulder, and started to undo the clasps on his breastplate. 

“Bishop…” The warning in Hildr's voice was clear, but neither of her companions acknowledged it. Casavir was still removing his armor. 

“My lady.” She could hear the pain in his voice, and crossed to where he was standing in his mail. “Will you… will you watch my armor for me?” Hildr was certain that there was more that he wanted to ask of her, but wouldn’t say it in front of Bishop.  _ Will you take care of me and heal me if I should need it, is what he wanted to say. _ She was certain that was what he had wanted to ask. 

She nodded in silent agreement as he walked past her to stand in front of Bishop in the ring. He held the quarterstaff in front of himself, as she had shown them both back at the temple, ready to defend himself. Bishop took a more aggressive stance, ready to attack. 

There was a loud whirling of Bishop’s quarterstaff as he swung it in a circle and toward Casavir. A loud crack sounded as his quarterstaff hit Casavir’s staff. Bishop swung his quarterstaff again, this time towards Casavir’s head. Bishop whirled another attack aimed at his chest. Casavir at least seemed able to defend himself from all of Bishop’s attacks. 

“Bishop! No head shots. You know that!” Hildr could not make a difference in the fight from where she stood on the edge of the ring with Casavir’s armor, but she at least tried to keep some order. 

Casavir kept on the defense, not letting Bishop rouse him to attack. Bishop unwound like spring, swinging his quarterstaff around his head. A loud crack echoed through the ruins when Bishop’s attack struck. A steady stream of attacks pushed Casavir back around the ring.  _ I will not hurt him. I know that he is only acting out in order to make me pay for the loss of his child _ . Casavir lifted his staff across his chest. The loud cracks of quarterstaff against quarterstaff rung almost like thunder through the abandoned ruins. Casavir deflected another attack, this time leveled at his chest. The butt of Bishop’s staff to his gut brought Casavir to his knees in the practice ring. He held his staff out in front of him, not ready to admit defeat just yet. Casavir looked up at where Bishop was starting to pace back and forth in front of him. 

“How could you!?” Bishop was screaming at Casavir, circling the knight. 

Casavir was focusing on the ground in front of his knees, still holding his staff up defensively. He almost looked like he was going to use it to pull himself back up to his feet, but he didn’t have the energy left. Bishop’s words had cut him. “I had to save her.” His words were only slightly more than a whisper, not that Bishop would have heard him or see him mouth the words. “I need her. I…”  _ I love her. You know that I love her, Bishop. _

“How could you!? You stole my family from me! Again!” Casavir blocked another attack leveled at his chest, but it was taking more and more work to fight back now. The memories came rushing back to him.  _ He is not completely wrong.  _

Casavir only hung his head in resignation. He still had both hands on the quarterstaff, but instead of really holding it in front of himself to fend off any more attacks, he looked like he had slumped against it. “Please. Forgive me.”

Bishop wound like a spring again, and prepared to land a splitting blow on the knight when a loud crack disrupted his attack. Hildr had joined them in the ring, and knocked Bishop’s attack aside. 

“Bishop. Enough.” Hildr was standing her ground in front of Casavir, close enough that she was surprised that she did not hit him with her ankle when she jumped in front of Bishop’s attack. 

“No Princess. It won’t be enough. Not for what he stole from us.”

“Bishop, this is your last warning. Forgive Casavir and back down, or face the consequences.” Her eyes flashed menacingly.  _ If he won’t back down, I will have to Shout at him to get him to back away from Casavir. Blessed Akatosh, let me not have to do that _ . 

“My lady.” Casavir’s voice was weak and pained. It hurt her to hear it coming from below her like that.  _ My poor sweet knight. Don’t worry, I will protect you. I promise.  _

Hildr held her quarterstaff out to push Bishop back from both of them. Once Bishop had backed off far enough, Hildr turned back to her Paladin, dropped to her knees, and knocked Casavir’s quarterstaff away to lay with her own. She wrapped her arms around her knight’s neck and shoulders and kissed his hair, certain that it would be enough to get Bishop to back off.  _ If Bishop tries to attack Cas now, he will end up hitting me as well _ . “Go hunt, Bishop. We will talk when you get back.” The clattering of Bishop’s quarterstaff to the paving stones, followed by the sound of his retreating footsteps were enough to signal that he had listened to her suggestion. Hildr slowly counted to thirty before she relaxed her hold on Casavir. She kissed the top of his head, his ear, and along his cheek as she completely released her hold on him. “Are you okay?” Casavir only grunted in answer.  _ Well, at least he is not weeping. _ She cast a gentle healing spell on him to be sure. That hit to the gut looked nasty from where she was watching, and he did fall to his knees when Bishop hit him like that. She kissed his forehead as she felt him relax while she healed him again. “Casi, are you okay?”

“I am better now, thanks to you, my lady.” There was still a pained look in Casavir’s eyes as she rubbed his cheek with one hand, but it did not look any worse than the previous day. 

She slowly stood up and offered a hand to him. “Let’s go back inside. I can make you some tea if you would like it.” Casavir took her hand as he stood, and Hildr wrapped an arm tightly around his chain-mailed back to help keep him upright. It felt good to have his strong arm draped around her shoulders, and she was determined not to shrink away from his touch just as she was determined not to shy away from Bishop’s touch after what Thorn had done to her. 

“If you would be so kind, my lady.” Casavir still sounded somewhat broken still, but he was starting to sound more and more like himself with every passing heartbeat.  _ My poor sweet knight, if I could soothe the wounds on your heart as well, I gladly would. No matter what it would take _ . 

“And a game or two of cards?” She rubbed Casavir’s side much the way that Bishop usually did when he wanted something from her. A smile fought to Casavir’s lips at her suggestion of cards, as if he was still determined to be moody and sullen no matter what. Thankfully, his mood did seem to lift a little with the suggestion of cards. “No, I am not going to gamble on anything, Sir Casavir The Card-Counter. Consider it a case of once bitten and twice shy.”

“As you say, my lady.” He sounded a little better again, but not by much.

Hildr led him back into the keep, his hands on her hips as she usually did when she led him somewhere, and settled him on one of the beds before she made tea for both of them. With the two teas in one hand and cards in the other, she settled down in the bed in front of Casavir, with her back to the doorway, and her shoulder against the wall beside her. Casavir was nestled at the head of the bed, with his back to the wall behind him, and sitting with his shoulder against the wall as well. He was still as a statue, and looked almost as if he was carved by Dibella herself out of dark amber for Hildr alone. His sky blue eyes were trained on her, and seemed almost like lighter colored mirrors of the sapphires in his silver circlet. The silver stood out more than even she would have believed against his tawny skin and raven black hair. Without his armor on Casavir looked more human than anything, and it added to him looking like a statue.  _ If I knew he would not flinch away from my touch, I would gladly run my hands over him to make sure that he is not just an illusion. And more than just my hands at that _ . 

After a few hands of cards, it was clear that Casavir wasn’t counting cards like he usually did. Their scores were even or at least relatively close to it. “I didn’t mean to dissuade you from counting cards if you really wanted to, Cas. And if you would want to gamble, just say the word.”  _ As much fun as it would be to wager kisses on hands of cards, that would be entirely the wrong thing to bring up right now. _ When he didn’t answer her, she placed her cards beside her, and reached over to stroke his hand. “Casi? What is it? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what is wrong. Is it Bishop?”

Casavir shook his head in answer to her, not looking up from his cards.  _ That is probably a lie, or very close to it, but if he doesn’t want to talk about it, then so be it. I will let it slide for now.  _

“I am certain it is not Karnwyr. He’s a good boy.” She watched as a small smile flickered across his lips, as if he was fighting to suppress a full grin for her. 

“Is it me, Casi? Am I the problem?”

“My lady, you may be many things to me, but a problem is certainly not one.” He finally looked up and met her gaze, getting lost in her piercing emerald green eyes. He only distantly was aware of her hand on his face, stroking his cheek, and that she was suddenly very close to him. “My lady.”

“What is it, Casi? What am I to you?” 

He finally sighed, and had to look away to gather his thoughts again. “I had thought you were a siren at first, my lady. Sent only to draw me from my path, and lead me astray. To take everything from me, and leave me stranded in this world.” Casavir ran his hand down her cheek before continuing. "Now, I think you may be one of the Daedra rather than anything else.” 

Hildr recoiled from his touch.  _ Did he just… does he hate me? Is this affection from him fake? Surely to be a Daedra to him was an insult. _ She was sitting back at the foot of the bed for a moment, only staring at Casavir. Hildr refused to break her eye contact with Casavir as she got off of the bed and stepped further and further away from him. He was slowly leaning forward and trying to touch her hand, as if startled that she was moving away from him. He almost looked like a drowning man reaching up for someone to help him.  _ Is my only purpose in his life to tease and torment him? That is about all the Daedra do. Does he think I need him to worship me? Does he worship me? _ Hildr did not tear her gaze away from Casavir until she was deeper in the keep. She remembered a small table in the next room and sunk into one of the two chairs there.  _ Casavir will follow me if he wants to talk _ . 

Sure enough, Casavir followed her after a moment. “My lady?” Casavir dropped to his knees before sitting back and trying to duck his head so that she would meet his eye. “I did not mean offense, my lady. It is only…” He sighed in his position on the floor in front of her, and looked back up into her eyes. “Like some of the daedra, Meridia especially, you would describe yourself as compassionate and merciful, but if there would be a need for sacrifice for the greater good, you would make that sacrifice, even if it was one of your followers. You will also go to whatever ends are needed to see your goal met, even if it can be considered extremist by some. Your gifts, like joining you in your adventures, my lady, come with strings and loopholes not easily seen or avoided. And finally… When I pray to you, my lady, you answer me, even if you do not know it.” He touched the back of her calf almost reverently. “And I never seem to remember falling to my knees when I am before you, my lady. Most disturbingly, it seems to happen fairly often.” 

“You consider me a treacherous, scheming monster?” Hildr tilted her head to the side as she met his gaze. “The Daedra demand devotion and sacrifice, and have no morals as we would understand them. Would you accuse me of that? Of being evil?” 

“Not all of them are completely evil, my lady, some can almost be understood as doing some positive things for humanity, if indirectly.” He looked back up at her, hesitant. “Please don’t tell any of the other members of my Order that I said that.”

“Your secret is safe with me, Cas. I promise.” Casavir blushed a deep crimson in response as she finally reached down and ran her fingers through his hair before she rubbed his cheek. “But would you say that I am evil, Cas?”

_ Only if you stop what you are doing, my lady. _ “Never, my lady. Never.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has made it this far! 2020 has been a year to say the very least, but we are almost done with it and into 2021. By way of a general heads up, I may be a little AWOL in the coming year, but I will still keep my posting schedule (Thursdays) as best as I am able. 
> 
> Cheers to the New Year, and may 2021 be kinder to us all! <3
> 
> Always,   
> Hildr <3


	32. Fallen Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mir Božiji, Hristos se rodi!

Bishop returned later that evening to the two of them as they were once again sitting on Casavir’s bed, once again playing cards. Bishop had only a goat over his shoulder, and Karnwyr pranced happily at Bishop’s heels. After Hildr watched Karnwyr re-settle in his bed and Bishop carry the goat carcass deeper into the fort and towards the kitchen, she threw her cards down onto the bed and followed after him. Bishop was skinning and gutting the goat when she finally caught up with him. 

Hildr kissed the back of his shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him. “How was your hunt?”  _ How upset are you about this morning still? _

“Fine.” Bishop clipped the word as he answered her. 

“Are you still upset from practice this morning?”  _ May as well actually ask, just to be sure. At least to be sure that there isn’t something else he is upset about. I can’t fix what I don’t know is wrong.  _

Bishop tensed after she asked, and was perfectly still for a moment before he answered her. “What do you think?” His question was cold, and there was clearly steel just below the surface. 

“I don’t think you should be anymore, Bishop.” She ran her hands down his sides, trying to relax him as best she could. 

Bishop threw down his knife as he spun to face her. “And why is that, Princess? Did you tell him that he needs to leave?” The anger in his voice was almost palpable. “Is it going to be just the two of us traveling together again?”

“No.” Hildr shrunk back another step further from where Bishop had pushed her away from him. 

“Then what is there left to talk about, Princess?” Bishop turned back to where he was working on the goat.  He sounded just as hard as he had been when we first started to travel together.  _ He sounds indifferent to me now _ .  _ No. That can’t be it. Not after everything that we have been through together. We were almost a family.  _

Soon he had the goat ready and seasoned to put in the small oven in the room. Hildr had stayed and watched him as he worked. It had been so long since Bishop prepared a complete meal for them.  _ Casavir has been helping since he joined us _ . Hildr walked back up around Bishop and wrapped her arms around him, feeling him tense in her arms again as she held him close. “Bishop. Please don’t force me away. I couldn’t bear it if you did that after all of this time and everything that we have shared.” She could almost hear the tears in her voice.  _ Not now _ . “After…” 

Bishop sighed, deflating somewhat under her touch. He rubbed his hands over hers and back up her arms as far as he was able. “Princess.” He cooed to her, as if trying to calm her with just his voice. He turned to face her, while still circled in her arms. He wrapped his arms around her in return, and slowly walked her backwards until she was sitting up against a table in the kitchen. “You should know by now that I am not going anywhere. I have stayed by your side so far, and it would have to be something major to force me from your side.” He kissed her neck and shoulder as he spoke. “I have no plans of ever leaving your side, sweetness.”

Hildr moaned his name quietly as she pulled him closer to her. “Good.”

Bishop pushed her further onto the table, and rested his hands on either side of her hips. He kept kissing her, wherever he could reach. He was hesitant to do too much, still worried about how much of his attention she would actually want after what had happened with Thorn. His hands wrapped around her, and rested on her lower back to pull her closer to himself. He nuzzled her neck just enjoying having her there against him. Her soft skin smelled like her rose soap. He felt himself twitch in his trousers, but would not give in to his desire in case she didn’t want him.  _ Princess, please. I just want to please you, no matter the cost. I want to know that you will not shy away from my touch completely.  _

“How much longer until you think that goat will be done, Bishop? Do you need me to make anything to go with it?”

“Only if you want, Princess. I won’t force you to make anything if you don’t want to.” He pressed his circlet against hers. “Never, Princess. I promise.”

Hildr stayed circled in Bishop’s arms while their meal cooked. The smell of roast goat filled the kitchen when Hildr finally pushed herself slowly and reluctantly out of Bishop’s arms. She gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek before she hopped off the table and set out to find dishes and cutlery for the three of them. Bishop was cutting and portioning out the meat for them, and handed the first two plates back to Hildr before she walked up the stairs to where she had left Casavir sitting on his bed. Casavir had moved on to playing a matching card game after she had left, and Karnwyr was laying on his own cot looking content. 

Casavir looked up and saw her when she came back into the barracks they were sleeping in while they stayed in Helgen, a plate of food in either hand. Hildr motioned Casavir over to the table with a wave of the plate in her hand and a smile before Bishop was in the room as well. He cleaned up the cards from his cot before he joined her, taking the seat as far from Bishop as possible and quietly tucking into the meat on the plate in front of him, careful not to say anything that would bring Bishop’s ire or attention.

“Bishop. Cas. We need to talk. I know that you are both still processing what happened, but…” Her voice broke as she looked up at them. Bishop’s face was tight with anger as he looked down at his plate again, and Casavir looked only minutes from tears as he started into his as well. “We need to move on. We need to put the past behind us. We still need to fight the dragons. Together... I… I don’t think I can do this without the both of you.” She took a deep shuddering breath, fighting back the tears that seemed to swell suddenly in her eyes. “Please don't think that what happened isn't affecting me at all… It is… but I… I know that I cannot just give in to this." She had to stop a few times, and she was certain that at least one tear dropped from her eyes, but thankfully neither of them were making any move to comfort her.

They were both silent for a long time, as if they were struggling with their feelings as much as her statement to them. A few more tears slowly and silently slipped down her cheeks before she could stop them. 

She swallowed again and wiped at her eyes. “And there is something else.” She took a deep breath to steady herself. Bishop and Casavir both looked at her this time, and she swallowed hard before she started again. “Aringar added these locations to my map when we were at High Hrothgar, and there is one that doesn’t seem to be too far from Ivarstead. They are all supposed to be dragon walls that are still guarded by dragons, or had ones buried nearby. We are basically heading that way already. It should take only one more day at most to go there. We should have the time now to look around. We will basically be there already.”

“Ladyship, are you sure that is a good idea? I am not sure that you should be actively going out in search of danger. And that is certainly what this sounds like. It is almost like you want to go out in search of these monsters.” Bishop rested his face in his hands for a moment before he looked up and started talking again. “Are you trying to kill yourself, ladyship? Suicide by dragon as it were?” 

“It can’t hurt to try and make myself stronger, Bishop. Plus it is said there is always loot there.” She looked down at the plate in front of her. “And we can always use the money.”

“I think I would have to agree with Bishop, my lady. It does sound rather dangerous.” Casavir sounded weak, but held up a hand to cut off any argument from her. “But it would not hurt to try and make sure that you are strong enough for what is to come.” He sighed before he continued. “If that is what you wish to do, my lady, I will go with you.” He bowed his head as she smiled weakly at him.

“Thank you, Cas. I am glad I can count on you.” She hesitantly reached out and placed her hand over his on the table. Thankfully, he did not move his hand when she touched him, and she rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand.

“Fine, ladyship. If this is what you want, then so be it. I will stay with you to the very end.” Hildr reached out and grabbed Bishop’s hand as well. He placed his other hand on top of hers, and gave her hand a squeeze. 

The three of them finished their meal in silence, and started to prepare to leave Helgen the following morning. 

~~~~~

_ I guess this was the other reason that Bishop didn’t want to come this way last time.  _ The snow in the pass was relentless as it blew around them. Even if the cold did not really bother her or Bishop as Nords, it was still annoying and she hated it.  Carried on the wind as it was, the unrelenting snow beat at her face to the point that her skin felt chapped, as well as exhausted from walking through the storm. The wind whipped their cloaks around them as they carried on down through the mountain pass.  _ Casavir must be really suffering back there, no matter how many layers he has on with his cloak and armor _ . If not for the buckle and knot on her chest keeping her heavy fur cloak around her shoulders, she would have lost it long ago.  _ If only we could walk faster in this whiteout, I would be happier for it. Better to move slowly and safely, a broken leg or broken neck will only slow us down all the more _ . 

They had decided to lead their horses, afraid that they would not be able to see far enough ahead to keep themselves or their mounts safe in the relentless driving snow. It would be sure to save them and their horses all broken necks.  They were all using their quarterstaffs as walking sticks as well. Bishop was in front, having a rope between all of them so that they couldn't be separated. The ropes led from Kara, to Mist, to Justice. With the reins around each of their wrists, they were certain not to be separated from each other as long as they stayed with their mounts. 

Eventually they seemed to no longer be climbing up the path, and it started to slowly slope back downwards instead.  _ Blessed Akatosh, finally we seem to be making progress _ . Not too long after that the storm started to let up. Hildr was so happy she had to stop herself from jumping astride Mist and riding away from them. It was still too treacherous to celebrate like that, and instead she had to content herself with capering for a few moments as they continued to trudge on through the pass. 

When she finally caught sight of the two pillars that marked the Rift, it took even more strength than she knew that she had to stop from celebrating. She couldn’t help herself and laughed at the clear sky above the three of them. She dropped Mist’s reins and danced away from the little procession. She could hear Casavir coming closer to her, as if he wanted to wrap an arm around her and hug her against his chest. Based on the way that his heavy armor clattered, she almost thought it sounded like he was shivering as he approached her. Hildr threw a smile over her shoulder at him. “Will you dance with me, Cas?” She giggled at him and twirled around again, but Casavir only stood there and smiled at her, watching her caper and dance in that narrow pathway to warm up. 

~~~~~

“Are you sure this is the right place, Princess? It would not be the first time you gave me bad directions.” Bishop had crossed his arms and was looking over at her with a condescending smirk. 

“Bishop, that was one time. And you knew where we were going anyway. It wasn’t like we ended up lost!” Hildr pulled out her map and held it out in front of the both of them, against the rock that they were using for cover. “Look. We just came from there-” she pointed back over to her right- “and we should be about here.” She stuck her finger on the map in front of the mountains. 

“Not arguing that, Princess. But if this is supposed to be a location of a word wall, protected by a dragon, would you be so kind as to point out just where we would be able to find either of those two rather large things? And if the name means anything, shouldn’t there be a garrison as well?” Bishop made a sweeping gesture in front of them, as if to take in the entire mountain range and the absence of the dragon above them in the narrow valley they were in. Bishop snorted into the silence that settled on all of them after his condescending comment to the both of them. 

Casavir cleared his throat before he started talking. “I think it may be a blessing from Akatosh himself right now that there is no such dragon, Bishop. It would make short work of the three of us waiting here as we are.” Casavir finally piped up from behind them. If he was annoyed that they were squabbling like children, he made no indication of it.  They were in the mouth of a narrow valley with what looked like it may be a ruined watchtower in front of them. Mercifully there were some boulders and fallen logs to act as cover while she and Bishop bickered about their location.

“See? Casavir understands.” She waved her hand to dismiss any protests from Bishop. “We should keep going. We are sure to run into something soon. We can start with that tower.” She gestured ahead to the vague outline of a building further up the valley as she rolled up her map.

“Fine ladyship. After you. I would like a few more good looks before I follow you.” Bishop smirked at her as he spoke, a hungry gleam still in his eyes, even after all that she had been through recently.

Casavir sniffed loudly, clearly disapproving of Bishop’s attitude and the innuendo, but he did eventually follow Hildr through the valley they were in and towards the tower ahead of them. Deep down he still felt guilty about what he had done to save her life recently, but he was still certain that he had done the right thing, and was glad that she was still there with him. Casavir was still determined to do whatever was necessary to protect her in all of her journeys.  _ My dear sweet lady, I will follow you no matter where you will lead me. _

When they were about halfway through the valley, they came to a somewhat sudden stop. A large shape was moving through the clouds above them, seemingly circling their position. Hildr turned and planted her feet as she pulled out her sword, readying herself for the fight to come. Casavir at her side readied himself as well, drawing his hand and a half sword with a loud rasp and doing his best to position himself between Hildr and the dragon. Bishop was running as fast as he could up to the tower further up the valley, past where they were waiting. He had his bow in one hand already, and was doing his best to get to higher ground to support the two of them. 

“When it lands, cut the membrane of the wings! We should be able to stop the dragon from taking off again.” Hildr was half yelling the instructions to Casavir as they waited, watching the dragon stream across the sky above them. They waited until the dragon landed and dashed in to strike as Hildr suggested. Bishop was shooting as wide of the two of them so that they could continue to fight as well. 

The strategy worked surprisingly well and Hildr stepped back in order to try and get to a comfortable position before she passed out when the dragon soul hit her. Casavir hurried to her, and while he didn’t pull her close against himself like he would have any other time, he did hold out his arms to her so that she could slouch forward into him before he carried her someplace to rest.  _ Blessed Mara, I want to hold her tight, but would she want that as well? _ He stood there and rubbed her back and kissed her hair before he walked to the base of the tower that Bishop had started to explore when the dragon attacked. 

Casavir placed her down in a bedroll there in the open room, and waited for her to waken. He knelt beside her and brushed her hair back from her face. He could feel the tears starting to form in his eyes.  _ Blessed Akatosh, Merciful Stendarr, why am I not strong enough to keep her safe? What would you demand of me in exchange for that power? Will this waiting ever get easier? My sweet lady. I will wait for however long it will take for you to return to me.  _ Bishop joined Casavir shortly after he got Hildr settled to wait. 

“Is she okay?” Bishop sounded anxious as he put his arrow back in the quiver on his back, dropping to his knees by her head as well.

“She will be, Bishop. As she always is.” Casavir sounded more resigned than confident. Casavir was slowly trailing his fingers over her, as if checking her for injuries.

“What if these souls have some other effect on her? What else do we really know about what is happening to her right now? Do we know if she even dreams when this happens to her?” Bishop sounded anxious as if he wanted to wake her up right then to make sure that she was completely okay and would come back to him.  _ And with everything recently, I am not sure that I entirely blame him on that count. _

“All we can do is wait, Bishop.”  _ And all I can do is love her from a distance, at least until she knows about my past and could still care for me despite it. _ Casavir sat back and prepared to wait until she awoke. He pulled out his sword and whetstone and got to work. “It should only be a few hours this time. We can ask her your questions when she awakes.”

Bishop only shot a look at Casavir before he stalked off, back down the tower to keep a lookout and see what he would be able to hunt. 

Hildr stood in knee deep snow, shivering and desperately trying to keep herself warm. The landscape here was nothing like she had remembered seeing in anything that she had seen in Skyrim.  _ Not even the Jerall mountains were this cold and snowy. _ The wind whipped around her, and she shivered even harder as the wind cut through her.  _ I need to get out of the wind. I need to find some kind of shelter. _ A roar carried on the wind pulled her focus from survival. The flap of leathern wings came from above her and she fumbled for a weapon. She tried to pull her bow, but her fingers were too frozen to grasp the bow or pull the string. She tossed her bow aside with a twinge of regret.  _ Casavir will understand. _ She fumbled for her sword but she could not get a grasp on the hilt. _ It is too late. _ The great black dragon was in front of her, slowly crawling over the ground to her, as if to force her off the cliff behind her. She felt her footing starting to slip and the dragon’s fiery breath across her face as she fell.  _ No! _

Casavir was there as soon as she awoke, smoothing her hair back from her face and speaking softly to her.  _ Love poems again. My sweet knight. _ His eyes were red-rimmed again as if he had spent the whole time she had been unconscious praying over her and crying. “My lady, are you alright?” Casavir had his hand on her neck and was rubbing his thumb over her cheek. It was then that she realized she was lying on her side, and he was kneeling in front of her. 

“Wha-what happened?” She tried to grab her head and winced when she touched her temple. When she started to move, everything seemed to swirl and shift. She wanted to retch. 

“You should stay still for now. You started to violently tremble, my lady. I was afraid that you were about to be sick, and I did not want you to choke. Are you feeling alright?” He still sounded afraid that whatever had made her tremble would start again. 

“Yeah. Just… Just a weird dream. Can… can you help me up?” She tried to sound strong, but she knew that she was shaking and she sounded weak. Her stomach rolled, and she almost wondered if she was about to throw up everything she had eaten in her life.  _ It might even be a mercy if I threw it all up. I might feel at least a little better in the long run.  _

“As you say, my lady. Easy now.” Casavir crouched in front of her and slowly helped her up into a seated position, watching to make sure that she was not becoming more disoriented from the movement, and that she would not be sick. “Do you think you could walk? I am sure Bishop would want to know that you are alright.” Casavir held his hands ready to catch her if she should need it. 

Hildr shook her head before she leaned back against the wall behind her. “Not yet.” She closed her eyes and motioned her cupped hand to her chin. Casavir handed her a waterskin before he settled back down beside her. He held out his arm so that she could lean up against him if she wished, and he seemed delighted that she curled up in his arms without any hesitation. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders protectively, and pulled her against himself, rubbing her back the whole time.  _ Oh please never stop that, Cas. It feels much too good.  _

“Let me know when you want to get up, my lady.” He was running his hand through her hair as if he would want to try and braid it. 

“Of course, Casi. Just not yet.” Hildr curled closer into his arms, and started to drift back off to sleep. “Would you tell me some more poems? I enjoy the ones that you tell me.” She sounded weak, and could feel the blush rising on her cheeks, but did not think that Casavir could see it. She wrapped her arm around his chest, and leaned her head more firmly against his chest. 

“If that is what you wish, my lady.” He murmured several poems to her as she relaxed against his chest, all ones that he had recently written about her. He stroked her hair as she got comfortable and fell asleep. 

Bishop returned after a little while, once she had awoken again, with a pair of rabbits and a scouting report of the area. They decided to make camp for the night there, since the sun was already close to setting. It was a secure building, and dry. One of them could keep watch from the top of the tower while the others slept. There were already bedrolls here, and with their own as well, they would be sure to be comfortable for the night. Casavir quickly got a fire going before he settled back down beside Hildr as the rabbits cooked. Bishop was finishing up his watch, and after they ate, Casavir would take the watch at the top of the tower. 

It seemed that night fell almost too soon to Casavir, but as was the agreement, he went to take his place on watch for the night. He grabbed his cloak and a few extra furs as he went to relieve Bishop from his watch. Hildr was curling back up in the large pile of bedrolls and furs that they had collected into one spot to serve as a bed for her and Bishop tonight. With a forlorn sigh, he climbed the stairs to the top of the tower, not daring to look back over his shoulder for fear he would not leave her side no matter the cost. 

Casavir was sitting on the single small chair at the top of the tower, at the narrow table, fletching arrows. He had a stack of arrows already completed, and was slowly adding more to that pile.  _ They are not just my arrows. I will give her as many as she should wish, and begrudgingly I will give Bishop any if he needs them. Hopefully, we will soon be done with these dragons and will only need arrows to hunt game.  _ Casavir sighed.  _ There will be no end to the dragons anytime soon. Not if she is still reacting like this every time we fight one. Akatosh alone knows how many more we will have to face. Merciful Stendarr, let it not be too many more. I am not sure that I can bear having to watch over her too many more times. _

When Casavir finished fletching all of the arrows that he had ready, he moved on to sharpening his sword and dagger. The soft scraping noise of the sharpening stone on metal was the only sound in the dark night. There were no small animals, not here, not this far up in the mountains. He let his mind wander while he was on watch. He thought of what all he had been through since he joined his lady in her quest, how much he had been through at her side.  _ How much I have done to and with her. _ He blushed, remembering those nights, having her alone with him, and how much he enjoyed her floral scent, the feel of her silken skin. He bit his lip, determined not to let his lustful thoughts get the better of him while he was supposed to be keeping them both safe while on watch. He looked around again, as if to reassure himself again that there was nothing out in the darkness. He was almost startled to hear her soft footfalls coming closer to where he sat. He put his sword on the table and pushed his chair back as if to face her. He waited until she got closer to speak. “My lady, you should be asleep.” 

“I just wanted to walk a little. See the stars.” She looked up at the vast glittering stars as well as the aurora. He could see her face outlined against the slow moving green light. She was looking at the sky almost rapturously, as if it was the most beautiful thing in all of Nirn.  _ And maybe it is to her, only because she cannot see herself in moments like this. _ After a moment she seemed to look back at him, and he thought he heard a smile in her voice. “I figured it would be safer to come up here than to walk through the valley. Besides, I slept most of the day, even if it wasn’t restful.”

“Very well, my lady. As you say. Would you like to come here then?” Casavir held out his arms to her, and she walked over to sit sideways on his lap. Casavir held her and nuzzled at her neck. He inhaled deeply, and could almost feel his mind drifting to a possible future with her.  _ A home, children… No, she would hate me if she knew the truth about me, no matter how much I love her, or how much she thinks she could love me now _ . His hands were running over her, one hand moving over her back, and the other moving up her thigh from her knee to her hip.  _ My lady, please forgive me for this. Forgive me for waiting... _

“Cas?” Hildr sounded a little surprised, but not upset at his actions. 

“My lady… I…” He took a deep breath to steady himself.  _ Get a hold of yourself. Casavir, you are not the man she thinks you are. _ “I am not worthy, my lady. Please forgive me.” He let go of her, suddenly ashamed of his actions and worried about how she would react to him. He held onto the back legs of his chair and looked away from her and out into the valley.  _ I should be on watch, protecting them. _

“Cas, you don’t have to let go if you don’t want to. I won’t tell anyone.” She ran her hand over his cheek in the darkness, turning his face back towards her.

“I-I don't trust myself, my lady. I am not sure that I would be able to stop if I allowed myself…”  _ If I allowed myself to believe that maybe you really could love me in spite of my past. My lady, what you do not know about me would be more likely to hurt you worse than what you do know.  _

“Do you trust me, Casi?” Her thumb was still on his cheek, stroking from the corner of his thick lips towards his ear and back. She ran her hand down his arm and laced her fingers through his when she reached his hand. 

“Of course, my lady. I have never stopped trusting you.” Casavir was giving her a confused look, as he tried to look up into her eyes in the dark. For some reason he couldn’t seem to focus on her eyes, even with his eyes adjusted to the dark as they were. 

“Will you trust me now?” Her face was very close to his, her lips almost brushed against his as she spoke to him. “It is just the same as before, Cas. Push me away, or say the word, and we can stop. Do you understand?” He could feel her warm breath on his face and neck.

“Yes, my lady.” His hands gently and slowly trailed up her legs to her hips almost of their own accord. 

“Is that what you would want?” She turned so that she was facing him, sitting across his knees now. She wrapped her arms around his neck as if he needed her to hold him still. He felt her legs against his as she pulled herself closer against his chest and into his arms. 

“Yes.” He almost gasped his answer to her before she leaned into him and kissed him longingly. Her fingers curled in the top of his breastplate as she kissed him, and his arms went around her in response, pulling her even closer.  _ She will be the death of me yet. And still I will not resist or fight back.  _

She pressed her forehead against his, and rubbed her nose back and forth against his a few times quickly. “Thank you, Cas. I don’t know what I would do without you. I doubt Bishop would know what to do without you either.” She smiled at him before she let out a small chuckle. “Even if he wouldn’t ever admit it. Either to me or to you.” She gave him another sweet kiss on his thick lips before she seemed to slowly melt from his grasp. “Thank you, Cas. I should go back to sleep. Will you wake me in the morning when your watch is done?”

“I will, my lady. Now go back to sleep. I hope you have sweet dreams.” She silently slid away from him, as mist melting away in the sun. He turned back out to his watch and cursed himself.  _ What am I doing? I had a chance to tell her, to tell her the truth and let her know about my past and still I let her go. It won’t make it any easier on either of us to wait to tell her. If anything she may hate me more for it _ . He felt a tear slide down his cheek before he could stop it.  _ I do not believe I could go back to my Order now. Not with how she has slipped past my defenses and settled in my heart. Brothers and Sisters forgive me. _

Casavir spent the rest of his watch in merciful silence, praying. Nothing stirred below him in the valley that he heard, and slowly his stack of arrows grew. 

It was not until the sun was well and truly up before Casavir gathered up the arrows that he had been working on, and went back downstairs to where his companions were sleeping. Hildr was still nestled deep in the pile of furs and bedrolls that they had arranged, while Bishop had already risen and started to get breakfast ready for the three of them. Bishop was crouched in front of a small crackling fire near the one window, turning meat on small sticks, as well as a small pot of water for tea. 

Casavir went to where Hildr was laying and gently shook her shoulder to wake her, before he started to trail his hand down her back. He would not want to incur Bishop’s wrath if he could avoid it, especially given recent events. They may have agreed on a truce of sorts but that did not mean that it would hold no matter what he did to wake her. “My lady? It is morning. If you plan to make it to High Hrothgar today, we should set out soon.” He ran his hand down and up her back one last time. “And you still need to learn the word here. The word wall is just past the top of the tower.”

Hildr rolled to face him, forcing his hand from her back to her belly, and reaching down to hold his hand there with a playful grin. When he began to blush in response, she released his hand with a shy grin. “I doubt we will make it to High Hrothgar today, even if we left now. Get ready and we will head back to Ivarstead once we are done here. We can spend the night there, and then move up to High Hrothgar tomorrow. Will you help me up?” She held out a hand and was happy to use his assistance to help herself to at least sit upright. Casavir crouched in front of her as if ready to catch her if she were to sway and start to fall. She crossed her legs, and happily took the offered plate from Bishop. 

Bishop gave Casavir a hard stare when he sat next to Hildr on the makeshift bed, and Casavir only leaned slightly out of the way in response. There was still some food left on the fire for Casavir, and he hesitantly went over to grab it before it burned to a crisp. The three of them ate in an uncomfortable silence. When they were done, they quickly struck camp. Casavir led the way up to the top of the tower and on towards the word wall that was sitting precariously on the side of the mountain. 

She could feel Bishop’s hand ghosting over her hip as she made the climb up the steps, steadying her, and to make sure that she was not afraid that she might fall.  _ He only has a hand on me because last night I did not shy away from his touch. I let him stay there next to me, wrapped in our blankets together. I am sure that he did not even notice that I got up in the middle of the night. I was right where I had been when we fell asleep together.  _

Hildr could hear the wall seemingly call to her, the steady beat of drums filling her ears as she got closer, and she braced herself as she focused on the word, letting it fill her. She stumbled back a few steps and felt two sets of hands reach out to her. The hands around her waist pulled her tighter as she felt the gauntlet hands slip away from around her shoulder and arm. Without looking, she knew that a hateful look passed between the two of them as they had both caught her. Once she was steady on her feet again, she led the way over to where the chest was waiting. She rummaged through the contents of the chest and, once she had taken all of the gold and jewels, she led the way back down the through the tower and back on the road back to Ivarstead. 


	33. The Straw that Broke Him

Hildr had to fight to keep her temper in hand as they moved back towards Ivarstead. If there was a tenuous peace between the three of them before, now it was held together by only a single thread. Bishop may have gone through the motions and said the words before they reached Helgen, but it was clear that he still had not fully forgiven Casavir for what happened in Thorn’s hovel. Watching over her at Autumnwatch Tower had not done anything to improve either of their moods. 

Casavir hadn’t fully forgiven himself either, no matter how he tried to act like he had. Hildr had still seen his eyes red-rimmed in the mornings, especially after the last bought of her dragon-sickness, and suspected that her sickness was the least of the reasons that he was still so upset. Casavir was still running himself ragged in his grief over what he had done, and she was starting to worry for him. It may not be as bad as it had been, but he was still upset about it. Even if she had told him several times she did not blame him for what Thorn had done, and was certain that he understood. She was one more day away from asking him to just sleep in his saddle and leading him and his horse.  _ My poor knight. Tonight I will spend the night with you. You could use it a lot more than Bishop right now. And for that matter, as Cas had agreed before, when we do not have to keep watch for the night, I stay with him.  _

When they arrived at Vilemyr Inn, Wilhelm greeted them warmly as if he remembered them from their last visit. If anything, Wilhelm seemed distressed at only having two single rooms left this time that they visited, wishing that he had more appropriate accommodations for town heroes. Hildr finally convinced Wilhelm that those rooms were enough. Hildr threw her stuff in the room with Casavir, and went out behind the inn to rest and enjoy the scenery and quiet before they got something to eat. It also did not hurt that her quick actions left no time for her two companions to squabble over which of them she would be sleeping with, or gave either of them a change to fight over her while she was still there. 

She lounged comfortably in the grass on the river bank while on the other bank there was an unkempt looking man with bushy black sideburns in tattered and ragged clothing sulking around the remains of a house. “Reyda! Reyyyyda? I can’t see you, Reyda! I can’t find you! Why are you hiding? Hiding, hide, hide, hide! Don’t make me sad.” After watching the man carry on like that for a few minutes, she went back inside and asked Wilhelm about the man. Bishop was, as could be predicted, sitting at the bar and drinking. 

“Oh, Narfi? He’s just more a nuisance than anything else. Been living out there for some time now. Used to be him and his sister, but…” Wilhelm trailed off as he looked at Hildr and shrugged. “Well. Seems that the sister just up and ran off. Last time anyone saw her, she was heading off to gather ingredients off to the east.”

“Thanks Wilhelm, I will see if I can find anything about her.” Bishop’s one arm snaked around her waist as she stood there talking to Wilhelm, and Bishop drank. Bishop slowly pulled her closer to himself. Hildr did her best to act like it was nothing major that was happening to her. 

“She had a silver necklace that she always wore. Maybe try and find that.” Wilhelm said over his shoulder as she turned to speak to Bishop. Wilhelm went off to help the only other patron in the inn, a redguard man in peculiar red and black armor sitting by himself in a corner. Hildr almost felt that she could feel the other man’s eyes on her as she stood there encircled in Bishop’s arms, but was certain that she was just being paranoid.

“Come on Bishop, I am going to need your help. There is a pretty good chance I am going to be enjoying a swim.” Bishop got up after just a gentle tug on his shirt, and followed her as far as the doorway to the room that she would share with Casavir tonight. Casavir was sitting at the small table in their room, reading, when Hildr entered and grabbed a clean shift and dress from her pack. Crushed mountain flowers in different colors fell from the folds of her dress as she pulled it out of her pack. Casavir marked the page he was on with a small strip of leather and followed her in silence. Bishop crossed his arms and stared at Casavir as he approached, but then hurried up after Hildr, wrapping his arm around her waist protectively to discourage Casavir from following them too closely. 

Hildr led the way out of the town and out to the bridge over the river. Once she got to the river bank, she stopped and handed the bundle of dry clothing to Casavir. Hildr stopped and began stripping off armor on the shore by the bridge. Bishop was excited as she took off her armor and kicked off her boots leaving her standing there in just her thin white shirt and leather trousers, until she jumped in the river, while Casavir blushed as he clutched her clothing to his chest. 

Hildr swam out into the river, out towards the island in the small lake. She was only slightly worried about being in the freezing cold water for any real length of time, but she was not going that far. Casavir and Bishop scowled at each other and then took a step further apart from each other where they waited for her to return on the river bank.

Bishop spoke up first when she surfaced. “What are you even looking for?” Hildr swam back over to where they both waited, but stayed in the water. 

“Narfi’s sister, Reyda. Wilhlem said the last anyone saw her she was heading this way. I figured I would start looking around here, and then spread out if I needed to.” She shrugged as she was treading water, and pushed her short hair back out of her eyes. “It would be easier and faster anyway.” She ducked under the water again. 

“Damnit, Ladyship.” Hildr was back under the water and didn’t hear him. They both stood there and watched her form ripple under the flowing water for a few moments before she dove too deep to see. 

“I think I found something.” She gasped and dove back under as soon as she had taken a deep breath. She held up a necklace as she surfaced a second time. “Bishop, catch.” She tossed the necklace overhand and Bishop caught the necklace out of the air. “There is more down there.” After a moment she came back up again with a satchel as well. She tilted her head back and dipped back under the water to get her hair out of her face. Hildr finally came out of the water, and walked towards where they both stood waiting for her. 

Casavir noticed how her soaking wet shirt clung to her, outlining every muscle and curve of her figure. She was even more beautiful when she was in a slight state of disarray, as if she was ever not the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He blushed, but enjoyed looking at her all the same. “Cas? Can I have my dress? Please?” Hildr was reaching out for her shift, taking it slowly from Casavir. “It is a bit cold.” His blush made him look like a snowberry, matching the shirt that she had recently embroidered for him. 

“My apologies, my lady.” He looked down at his feet as he sheepishly held out her clothing for her. Hildr stripped out of her sodden shirt quickly and pulled on her shift, even as her breast wrapping made it wet and cling to her as well. Her trousers only added to her shift also being cold and wet, and it clung damply around her legs. She quickly took them off as well, and grabbed her dress from Casavir. She ran her fingers through her hair roughly and tousled her hair to help it dry faster, and she finished by pulling on her boots. She put her armor on over her dress as well, and rubbed her arms to get the blood flowing again. Hildr took the silver necklace back from Bishop and looked at it for a long moment before she finally shivered. 

“C’mon. Let’s go back to the inn and see if this is what we are looking for. Wilhelm should be able to confirm if this is the necklace that I needed to find for Narfi.” Hildr led the way back to the inn, brushing by Casavir to get him moving, but he stooped and picked up her sodden clothing from the riverbank. Bishop followed after her, as if he thought that he could talk her into his bed to let him warm her up for the night. Casavir sighed after he had wrung out her shirt and trousers, and followed the two of them back to the inn. He hung her still dripping wet clothing up in their room to help it to dry out for the night before he returned to the common room. 

Bishop and Hildr were back at the bar, Hildr toying with the silver necklace pendant when he joined them. Wilhelm was nowhere to be seen, and Casavir was almost certain that meant that they had already spoken with the innkeeper. “Is it what you were looking for, my lady?” 

“Yeah. There is just a problem of what to tell Narfi.” Hildr sighed defeatedly, and seemed to slump against the bar beside Bishop. 

“You should tell him the truth.” Casavir looked confused as to why it would be that much of a problem. 

“Which truth, Cas? That she is not coming back, or that she is dead? Both are the truth.” The look that she gave him was only mildly challenging. 

“You should break it to him more easily. Does he need to know that she is dead? If he thinks that she is just gone, it may be easier on his already messed up state, ladyship.” Bishop gave her a look as if to drive the point home, and ran his hand up and down her side. “Wilhelm said that he is crazy. Who knows how much worse knowing that she is dead will make him? How do we know that it won’t make him more of a nuisance to this town. That is something you care about, right Princess?”

Hildr gave him a level stare for a long moment, as if to let him know that she heard what he was not saying. Eventually she turned her head slightly to Casavir. “What do you think, Cas?”

“You should tell him that she is dead, my lady. It would give him a sense of closure. Give him a chance to mourn his loss.” Casavir sounded dead serious, as if he had been the one in his order to have to give the bad news to the families of other members of the Order. 

Hildr nodded slowly before she looked back at him. “Alright. Will you come with me?”

“Of course, my lady.” Casavir placed a hand on her back and followed her out of the inn, and back to where Narfi was in the ruins of his old home. Mercifully, Narfi was there and sitting at the table that was still by the fireplace. He sat under the open sky looking absently, if not moorsely, into the tankard in front of him. 

“Hey Narfi, can we come in? We want to talk to you for a moment.” Hildr called from the open door frame, not wanting to seem too presumptuous by just walking in, even if there was no door to stop her. Narfi seemed to perk up and motioned for them to both sit across from him at the weathered table. “Narfi, I found Reyda's necklace.” 

A light came back in the other man’s eyes when he heard his sister’s name, and he seemed to almost beam when he saw the silver necklace. The words rushed out of him in a joyful torrent. "Reyda! You saw Reyda? Did you tell her Narfi cries? Did you tell her Narfi never said goodbye like mother and father?" Instead of slumping across the table, he was leaning towards them, almost like he was perched on the end of his seat. 

“I am so sorry Narfi.” Hildr reached the rest of the way across the table and grabbed Narfi’s wrist as he held the necklace and was running his thumb over the pendant. “She's dead.” There was nothing that she could do that would serve to soften the blow of the truth. 

"Oh no! No, no, no. Narfi never got to say goodbye! Now Narfi's all alone.” Narfi looked crestfallen at the news, as if the last little bit of hope that he had that he would see his sister again was stolen from him now. “At least Narfi has Reyda's Necklace... reminds Narfi of his sister. Thank you for giving this to Narfi." The poor man sat there and sobbed in front of the two of them. Hildr looked back to where Casavir was standing behind her, and with a nod they both left the man to his grief. Neither of them spoke until they were back on the other side of the river. They could still hear the distant wails of Narfi in his grief. HIs cries seemed to echo, and she was sure that the whole of Ivarstead could hear them. They cut like a knife in Hildr’s heart. 

“Did I do the right thing? Telling him the truth like that.” She was standing in front of Casavir, not looking back to him as she spoke half over her shoulder. Narfi’s cries gave her comment an eerie edge. 

“It can often be hard for some people, my lady, but it is always the right thing to tell the truth, no matter how hard it may be to do sometimes.” Casavir reached out to rub her back, but dropped his hand before he touched her, still afraid she would recoil from his touch.

“I know, but I am not certain after what we just saw back there. How can we be sure that he would not be happier thinking that one day she would return?” She sounded almost as broken as Narfi when she asked. It was like this question was taking too much out of her, and she was being crushed under the choice that she had made to tell Narfi the complete truth. 

“Would you?” Casavir sounded curious and probing, but not unkindly in his question. 

“What?” His question had caught her partially off guard.

“If it were you, about…” He took a deep breath. “About Bishop. Would you want to linger under the false pretense that he would be coming back to you if he ever left your side?” Casavir pointedly left himself out of his question, not daring to hope that she would ever worry about him if he never returned.

“You’re right. I would not want to falsely believe that either of you would return to me if something were to happen.” She kept her eyes away from Casavir as she walked through the town to the bridge that led up to High Hrothgar. She was far enough away that she could only distantly hear Narfi. She sat down on the large rocks to watch the waterfall as it left Ivarstead behind and traveled out towards the Rift. When he started to sit with her she shook her head. “I think I want to be alone right now, Cas.” She pulled her knees to her chest, and wrapped her arms tight around them, leaning her chin onto her knee. She looked out downriver as she sat there in silence. The only sound he could hear was the rushing of the waterfall. 

He bowed to her back and took a few steps away from her before sitting under the spreading branches of one of the nearby trees and focusing his attention on sharpening his hand and a half sword. He waited patiently, half watching her in case she would need anything while she was out here. The local woman who ran the mill had complained that there were bears in the area, and Casavir refused to even leave it up to chance that Hildr would encounter one alone. More than once he thought he saw her shoulders shake, but when he stopped working on sharpening his sword to pay closer attention, he no longer saw a movement. He waited for hours, watching her as the sun started to sink, and rain clouds started to roll in. 

Once it was starting to get much darker, Casavir approached her again. “My lady, we should head back to the inn.” He placed his hand on her shoulder as he spoke, and had to resist casting a healing spell on her. Hildr reluctantly turned and let him help her back up to her feet. He was only able to get a brief look at her face before the rain started to fall. Thick wet rain drops pelted down on the both of them, and covered her tears running down her cheeks as they stood there for a long moment before they dashed back to the inn. Bishop was waiting at the bar for the both of them to return, but Casavir spirited her back into the room she would be sharing with him tonight so that she would be able to change and warm up. 

Once she was in their room and the door was closed behind her, Casavir walked to the bar and ordered two teas from Wilhelm. He pointedly ignored Bishop at the other end of the bar before returning to his room. As he had expected, she had changed out of her wet clothes, and had wrapped herself in a blanket as she sat on the bed. She was in much the same position that she had been sitting in out by the waterfall, an unfocused look in her eyes as he returned to her. He set both of the teas on the edge of the table before he turned back to her. When he was not looking, she had dropped the blanket from around her shoulders, and stood to face him in just a heavy woolen shift. 

When Casavir saw her in just that little clothing, he looked away embarrassed. He visibly bit his lower lip and looked away from her. “My lady, I… I should sleep in the common room tonight. You should be more comfortable that way. I am sorry that I…”

Hildr had a hand on Casavir’s face to stop his protests. “Casavir, relax. I won’t take advantage of you. Just let me help, you stubborn knight.” She turned his face so that he would look into her eyes. “Let me take care of you.” She tugged gently on his gauntlet straps before pinching the tips of the fingers free and slowly removing his gauntlet. She worked slowly and methodically as she helped him. Her gentle touches like those one would give to a frightened animal to help it relax.

“It is just…” She forced out a hollow chuckle. “I was never a squire, so I am not sure what all I would need to do.” She did her best to give him a playful but innocent smile. “Will you direct me?” 

“Yes, my lady…” Casavir slowly lifted his arm to show her where the next strap would be. She slowly and carefully undid all of the straps as he instructed, and then helped him to strip off his chainmail. He sounded decidedly like he was upset that he needed her help with this, but he let her help him all the same. 

“There is no need to sound so morose, Casavir. I will not stay here if you do not wish it.” She was helping him store all of his armor in his room before she turned back to him. She was ready to back out of the room should he wish for her to go.

“Will you stay for a little while at least, my lady?” Hildr caught his eye and smiled. He looked nervous that she would leave immediately and not come back to him tonight. She reached out and gently grabbed his hand in both of hers.

“Of course, Cas. I will stay for as long as you wish.”  _ I hope you never ask me to leave, Cas _ . She slowly began to rub her thumbs across his palm with some pressure. She moved out to rub each of his knuckles, as well as the soft part of his thumb. She moved down to his wrist and his forearm before she moved on to his other hand and arm. She was pleased to see that he closed his eyes as he stood there and let her take care of him. “Would you like another back rub, Casi? Maybe a… a better one this time?”

“A better one, my lady?” Casavir blushed, as if remembering the last one that she had given him. 

“Lay down on your chest, and I will be happy to show you.” Casavir obediently did as she asked, laying with one arm bent under his pillow and the other dangling off the side of the bed. He was only mildly startled when she straddled his lower back, getting comfortable before she started to rub the knots from his aching muscles, starting with his lower back, just above his hips. “I’m not hurting you, am I?” 

“No, my lady.” He moaned under her touch, as she released more and more knots in his back. “I do not believe you could.” He moaned again as she loosened tight muscles in his neck. “Not physically at least.”

Hildr hummed to him in response, as if encouraging him to continue.  _ Do you think I would break your heart, you stubborn knight? If you would tell me about your vows, I would show you that I never would hurt you at all. _ “I can stay with you until you fall asleep, Cas, unless you would let me make sure that Bishop is asleep first.”

“My lady?” He sounded like he was almost half asleep under her relaxing touch, and he was having a hard time realizing what it was that she was saying to him. 

“You look like you could use my attention more than Bishop could right now. And besides, we are not keeping watch tonight. It would be your turn tonight anyways.” She rubbed her hands firmly across his shoulder. “Will you be able to stay awake while I make sure that he falls asleep?” She leaned down and kissed his shoulder, as he moved his arm from where it had been dangling over the edge of the bed down to his side and rubbed the outside of her knee. 

“I will try my lady.” He fought off a yawn as he crossed his arms under his head on the pillow.  _ Try all you want, Cas, but that sounds like it will be a hopeless effort on your behalf.  _ Hildr smiled to herself as she rose and left the room. 

Hildr ran her hand through his thick black hair before she got up to make sure that Bishop would be able to sleep as well. Casavir fought with himself to stay awake, but Hildr loosening the muscles in his back was enough to make him comfortable enough to sleep. The gentle sound of rain on the window quickly lulled him into a deep sleep before he could even try to fight against it. 

He woke from a pinch to his bicep that made him jump slightly. 

“My lady. I am sorry that I could not stay awake and wait for you.” He blushed. “I would understand if you would not want to stay with me now.” _ Please say you will still stay with me.  _

“If I would be mad at you for such a petty thing, what kind of woman would I be? Besides,” she rubbed his side to push him over towards the wall, keeping him in the bed as she joined him, “it means that I did an excellent job relaxing you by rubbing your back.” 

Hildr started humming one of the songs that she still remembered from Alec’s performance. The more upbeat one that Casavir had blushed during was her choice. Hildr had thought that it would be a nice change from the lullaby that she usually hummed to get them to sleep. Casavir blushed when Hildr hummed the tune, still remembering some of the words.  _ “I am weak, my love, and I am wanting. If this is the path I must trudge, I will welcome my sentence, give to you my penance, Garotter, Jury, and Judge.” My lady, would you ever know that it was here in Ivarstead, as I taught you to heal, that I had really begun to question my vows?  _ Casavir ran his hand through her hair and then down her back before holding her close against himself as he started to fall asleep again. 

They were out on campaign again, he and other members of the Order. Mercifully, they were not on a dangerous mission, and were allowed to bring their families with them. Casavir looked over the table in front of him and out the tent entrance to the children playing there. It was not common that Paladins would have families, but he was far from the only one with a wife and children with him. Isabella was old enough now to be running messages around the camp, while Luca and Rosa, their younger twins, both tussled with the other children in the camp. He looked back down at the plans on the table before he shook his head and gave up.  _ There will be more time for this later. I will only have my children with me for a short time.  _

Just then, Hildr strode into view from between two other tents. She still looked as beautiful as that first morning in Solitude. Her every step seemed almost like a dance in the long blue dress she wore. She crouched down to where their twins played with the other children and soon Luca and Rosa were running off through the tents. Hildr rose and strode towards him. She had started to show some age in the past few years, but she was still as fierce and determined as she had been when the midwife laid Isabella in her arms.  _ My beautiful lady. My beautiful wife. If you would want another child, just say the word, my lady. I would be happy to oblige. _

“I thought I saw Isabella running messages again. Did you put her up to that, Darling?” Her voice was as beautiful as chimes still as she wrapped her arms around him and held him tight. 

“If she still wants to be a Paladin, she will have to have a knight accept her as a squire. Being a messenger is the best way for her to start on that path.” Casavir shrugged as he gathered Hildr into his arms and kissed her in the entryway to their tent, not caring who saw them. Hildr broke away from his kiss, and led him back into the darkness of the tent and towards the bed in the corner. He did not need her to tug his hand in encouragement.  _ Gladly, my lady. You do not need to even ask. The answer will always be yes, for you. _

Casavir woke suddenly, only to find that he was in a narrow bed with Hildr at the inn. The rain had let up at some point in the night, and he could not hear it pattering on the window any longer. She was curled up in his arms with her chest up against his, and her head was below his chin. He took a deep breath, her mild floral scent mixed with the scent of the cotton bedsheets and the faint smell of straw in the mattress. It was the most intoxicating scent to wake up to, and he could feel himself twitch in his trousers. In that moment he was relieved that she was not curled more tightly against him, even if he would have preferred that. She only had her leg around his, and he might be able to have her get out of bed without noticing what she did to him. He had tried to think of something else, but with her in his arms, as well as his dreams, it seemed that it was a losing battle. 

_ If I can do nothing about it, please let her not notice or mention it. _ As if his thoughts summoned her, she started to make small movements as she woke up. Her thumbs rubbed gently over his chest. Casavir felt her shift under his grasp, and had to resist the urge to run his hands over her in response, at least nothing more than rubbing her back. “My lady? Are you awake?”

“Do I have to be?” She grumbled as if still half asleep, and snuggled her face more closely against his chest.  _ Stubborn woman. You need to climb to High Hrothgar today, and it would be wise to spend the whole day on the climb. _

“We do still need to climb the mountain and speak with the Greybeards again, my lady. It would be wise to wake and make the climb while we can make the most of the day. You did not want to make the climb yesterday, so we must make the climb today.” He rubbed her arm and back a little more firmly to rouse her. She curled herself a little closer against him as if in an attempt to ignore her. 

“I could help with that. If… if you want.” Her voice had a sultry husky quality to it as she spoke, still curled up against his chest. Her hands started to slip down his sides. 

“My lady?”  _ Could she really mean it? Would she really offer such a thing? I know that I am no stranger to her, but surely... _

She squeezed her leg around his, pushing his knee more firmly between her legs as if to answer his thought. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to. I don’t mean to tempt you, but if you would want to… I could help.”

“M-my lady?... Are… What?” Casavir was sputtering in response to her, this was nothing that he had ever really considered that she would do. It was rather audacious of her to behave like this.  _ To be so forward, especially with me…  _ Before he realized it, she had him on his back.

Hildr had straddled him, and stopped once she was over his hips. “We don't have to Cas. Say the word and I will stop.” She slowly rolled her hips in a figure eight pattern, looking directly into his eyes as she did so. 

_ Her green eyes are so clear and beautiful… I could just… No. I wish I could, my lady, I cannot. Not until you know the truth about me. _ “... Please.” Casavir closed his eyes and turned his head away from her, fighting to keep control of himself. 

“Please what, Casi?” She cooed the question at him, and he had to fight from looking back to her and drowning in her deep beautiful green eyes again. 

“I cannot.” He sounded a bit desperate, and more frantic this time. There was also something that he thought sounded almost like a tinge of longing in his voice as well. 

“Okay.” Hildr stopped her teasing motions immediately. She quickly leaned down and kissed his cheek before sliding out of the bed they had shared for the night.

She pulled her dress on and left him there, still on his back and staring at the ceiling.  _ She would do that, with everything she does not know about me? Could she really be… No, even if she was, that life seems to be long behind her. Even if she is, I would not turn her in. She is the Dragonborn now.  _ He shook his head as he rose and got dressed. 

She was emerging from Bishop’s room, the other man in tow, when Casavir made it into the common room. They all sat together at one of the small round tables in the corner, and did their best to prepare themselves for the climb to come. They had done it before, but previously they had taken their time between killing a dragon and climbing the mountain. All three of them were anxious as to what the climb would entail, and what kind of strain it would put on her. 


	34. Hiatus

Hey there beautiful readers!

I just wanted to let you all know that I am going to be taking a break for a little bit. Things in my life have gotten really really bad, really really fast, and I do not have the time or the energy to dedicate to this story that I want to give it. I really wish that it was not the case right now, but what cannot be overcome must be endured. 

_**If**_ everything goes well, I should be back in March sometime. 

If there are any of you beautiful readers who are not in the best of places right now, just remember, “Every star was once darker than the night, before it awoke.”

  
  


Thank you and stay safe, you amazing people!   
Always,

~Hildr


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